Caged Birds Don't Like to Sing

I woke up the following morning around eleven. I almost completely forgot where I was and became extremely confused and in a panic. Then I remembered I was at Jackson’s and that this wasn’t a nightmare I couldn’t just wake myself up from. I wondered where he was and if he was planning on some kind of sneak-attack like usual.

It was nice to wake up for once by the sunlight, rather than a noisy mom or a loud car passing by. It was nothing but silence except for the fan revolving above me. I wished I knew about this living out in the middle of nowhere thing before. I would have moved out of my parents’ house ages ago. Maybe I wouldn’t have even been shoved into this predicament.

I sat in my room on my laptop for a while before any interruptions from Jackson. He ended up walking in around twelve-thirty. “Hey, sleepyhead.” I heard from behind the screen as the door creaked open slowly.

“I’ve been up for a while,” I interjected.

“You could have come down.”

“No thanks,” I grunted and looked back to my laptop screen.

A second had passed before Jackson took a step into my room. I didn’t bother to look up. “Here,” he offered, setting down a plate with a sandwich on it. “I thought you’d might be hungry.”

I still stared down at my computer. Jackson sighed and I felt him sit on the other side of the bed. I slid farther away from him and slammed my laptop shut. “What do you want?”

“Don’t be mad at them.” Jackson’s words were spoken gently and sincerely. “They only want what’s best for you.”

“If they really wanted that, they would have left my life alone. It was fine just the way it was,” I remarked and slammed my laptop shut. I looked away from Jackson’s face.

“It may have been fine then, but things could have changed.”

“They wouldn’t have!”

Jackson shrugged. “You never know.” After he said that, he got off of my bed and walked out of the room.

I don’t get it. How is he so calm all the time? I’ve been bitter, I’ve been angry, and it doesn’t affect him. Frankly, it made me even more pissed. Just like how my mom avoided conflict by humming. Maybe it was the same concept.

I took the plate off of the nightstand and lifted the bread. Everything seemed in order. Turkey, cheese, tomato, mayonnaise. No poison. I placed the bread back down and started to eat it.

The rest of my day was spent by me keeping to myself. I still wasn’t ready to face facts and I really didn’t want to see Jackson, not yet at least. I knew I would have to deal with him eventually and put up with him for the rest of my life. I think I could afford to waste some time on myself during my first full day in this place.

That evening, Jackson forced me out of my room to go outside. The day was nice enough to keep the windows opened in the house, it was the perfect temperature. Cool breezes would drift in through the window sills and lower the temperature throughout the house, making the heat completely bearable. By the time I was outside with Jackson, the heat had dropped to a more chilling degree. I sat on the back porch with him on a swinging chair as he puffed on a cigarette. The wind lightly blew on my hair and wafted the smoke in my face. I had told him that smoking didn’t bug me, but I wasn’t expecting him to smoke right then. I coughed lightly.

“Sorry.” He blew out his last puff of smoke before tapping the stump of a cigarette down in the ashtray. He turned his face forward and looked out. I did the same.

I stared out into the vast green, grassy land. There wasn’t much out there, except for a few flowers here or there and some trees very far off to the left. It was perfect spot for looking at the sky. The sun set almost directly in front of us. “So this is why you enjoy the sunset. Your house has an amazing view of the sky.”

“Yeah. It’s pretty nice. Another reason I like living out here,” he spoke. "Plus at night it is easier to see the stars compared to all of the city lights."

Jackson’s body was radiating heat. As a freezing breeze passed by, I lifted by dangling legs up to my body and curled my arms around them. I felt Jackson’s arm slip around my body, bringing on the warmth I craved for, but I didn’t want it from him. I snarled at him and he just chuckled.

I started scooting away. His arm tugged me back closer. “I don’t like physical contact.”

“It’s nothing to be afraid of,” he said, tightening his hold on me.

“You’re making me nauseous with your body heat.” I began to push him away from me. He didn’t move, not even a single inch.

“Need some medicine?”

I frowned and didn’t reply. He then laid his cheek on the crown of my head. That’s when I broke.

“I’m actually asexual!” I announced to him and attempted to pull away. He still didn’t let me move.

“So this shouldn’t bother you then.” He started to run his fingers down my spine. I got a chill and shook. I glowered when I looked up at him as he snickered, knowing that my lie was a horrible excuse to have come up with.

“Stop!”

His face slid down lower and lower until he was by my ear. “Why?” he purred in my ear. His breath warmed the side of my face and smelled of mints and whiskey.

“Stop,” I repeated. I then punched his shoulder.

He started to laugh again. “Touchy, touchy.” His arm removed itself from my body.

“Thank you,” I said bitterly.

We sat in silence for a minute. He pulled out another cigarette and lit it. He took a breath and then pulled it away from his face. Smoke flew out from his nostrils. I held my breath until I almost passed out.

“Now you’re just trying to piss me off.” Honestly, the smoking thing wasn’t as bad as I made it seem. Anything was better than being stuck in Riley’s car. The seats reeked of stale smoke and with even more smoke being blown out through her alcoholic lips. It was enough to make even the worst chain-smoker gag.

“You said you didn’t mind smoking,” he recalled.

“Well, actually I do,” I admitted, even though it really didn’t bother me all that much. Sometimes when I was stressed out, I even picked up the habit. Maybe I only hated it because it made me remember feeling tense and overworked.

He took another drag. He turned towards me and blew it straight in my face.

I coughed harshly. “I hate you,” I choked on the intoxicated air, waving my hand around in front of my mouth. I covered my mouth just in case he was planning on blowing more smoke at me. Through my hand clenched over my lips, I sneered, “You’re going to kill me from second hand smoke.”

He slung his arm around me. “This is going to be fun.”

I shoved his arm off of me. “I’m filing for harassment.”

“I dare you.”

I grunted and then sat up, starting to lift myself from the seat. His hand flew out and grabbed my hand. He pulled me back down.

“You need to relax, darlin’,” he spoke. His voice was a mixture of console and laughter.

“Don’t call me that,” I barked.

He sighed. “I know you’re mad about this. But you should at least try to make the best out of this situation.”

“We’re not getting married,” I said, tuning out his words.

His arms grasped my shoulders and he turned me towards him. “We are getting married. You have to face reality now.”

I held my breath for a while, at a small loss for words out of a sudden shock from reality. His face was serious, but his green eyes were comforting. I felt my angry eyebrows relax as I let out air. “Are you okay now?” he asked.

“No. I’m still upset.”

“And that’s okay. It’s okay to be upset,” he assured. He brought my shoulders in closer to him and he lowered them down in an attempt for a hug.

I didn’t move my arms from my side. “I’ll give you three seconds to get off me,” I warned through clenched teeth. “One.... Two.... Three....” My voice started to grow harsh. “Four.... Five!”

He then let go with a smirk. “Now what?”

I smacked him upside the head. “That’s what.”

He laughed again. “You hit like a girl.”

“I could still take you on.”

“I wouldn’t ever hit a girl. It’s not gentlemen-like,” he said like it was an excuse. I rolled my eyes. It comforted me a little to know he wasn’t going to hit me. There goes the theory that Joseph and I came up with.

“Then try to pin me down at least,” I taunted and balanced on my knees.

“Really?”

“Really, cat boy,” I taunted further.

He grinned widely. In the same second he launched himself at me and I was laid out flat on my back. His hands pinned my wrists to my sides. “There,” he said haughtily. “And I told you, it’s my ex-girlfriend’s.”

I kicked my feet around and tried to get up. He laughed as I wriggled around under him.

“Are you going to let me out now?” I asked, exasperated. I just wanted to go back and hide in my room.

He pursed his lips and looked up as if in deep thought. He pretended to contemplate this for another minute. “No. I don’t think so,” he proclaimed.

“Get off me, Rathbone!”

“What are the magic words?” He was taking advantage of my moment of vulnerability.

“Please.” He started to get up. I threw in, “You creep.”

He pinned me back down immediately. “You hurt my feelings,” he pretended pout.

“Just get off. Please.”

“Nope. Too late for the please.” He rolled over so his back was facing my body. His hair got in my mouth. I spat it out.

“You’re a little kid!”

“Insults will get you nowhere,” he played on. I started to dig my nails into his back. “Ow, ow, ow,” he said in a giggle as he got up. “Someone’s a little feisty.”

I got up and started to walk away.

“Night!” I could hear being called from behind me. I grunted in reply, feeling my hands ball up into fists. “See you tomorrow, wifey,” he cackled.

I really wanted to go home. Now I desperately want to go home. “Maybe.”

“Don’t you run away,” he said, suddenly concerned. I heard his footsteps as he came up behind me.

“Why not?” I scowled and continued walking on.

“You’re parents aren’t having me marry you for you to just run away. That kind of defeats the purpose,” he explained as we walked up the stairs.

“That’s the point,” I muttered as I closed the door behind me.

“Fine. Then I’ll be checking up on you tonight.”

I looked around for a lock on the door. There wasn’t one. “You better not!” I warned.

“I will.”

“Don’t,” I said sternly as I opened the door back up.

He smiled confidently and walked off. I slammed the door aggressively.