I'm Not Okay

I stood there as Brian explained some things to Holly. We were on in Philadelphia for the next two days and she had plenty of time to get back to Columbus. But the fact that anything could happen back there and she had grown ‘attached’ to me in the past twenty four hours, it would be horrible to try to send her back in her fragile state. Or atleast that’s what I said to Brian, and he seemed to believe. And as I stood behind Holly and she gripped my hand as it was the only thing holding her here. He seemed to believe every word.

As they were talking something came to mind, and I just had to blurt it out,

“Why haven’t your parents called Holly?” The look on her face looked dismal, like the subject of ‘parents’ wasn’t once she had touched in quiet a while. But she shook herself a little and steadied herself to speak.

“I don’t live with them; they haven’t cared about me since I was fourteen.” Holly said with so much venom in her voice I swear it could kill.

“So they won’t be a problem?” Brian asked as he looked over some papers that he had on the small table.

“No, I’ve been emancipated since the day the judge signed the papers over a year ago.” Holly turned her head and looked out the window. There wasn’t much to see except for the other buses. That’s when I got an idea of what might cheer her up.

“Holly?” She turned to look at me, her mood was still the same, but her blue eyes shone when they saw me. “Do you like Taking Back Sunday?”

***

“That’s-.”

“Adam, Matt, Eddie, Mark and look no Fred.” I laughed at her fake pout as we walked towards TBS. Adam looked up at his name being called and smiled at us and began to walk over.

“Hey Gerard, and well whose this?” I saw him look Holly up and down. Instantly and for absolutely no reason I felt that same anger from last night flare up, especially when I saw Holly blush.

“My name’s Holly.” She giggled slightly as Adam bowed down to her.

“What a pleasure it is to meet you Holly.” He reached out to take her hand and kissed it.

“Ha ha, yeah, and you wanna know something funny about Holly?” I asked as they looked at me. “She just sixteen.” I instantly felt heat on my face and reached back to scratch my head, feeling like I was back in high school. Holly shot me a small glare as she turned back and looked at Adam.

“Yeah but I’ll be 18 in 730 days!” She laughed at her joke, and we both followed.

“730?” Adam asked counting up the days in his head. “That means your birthday is today right?” Holly nodded her head quickly. “You’re the birthday girl! Dude, we so have to have a party!”

Holly’s eyes lit up at thought and she turned around and looked up at me hopefully, and clasped her hands together.

“Please, Gerard?” She asked with a pout, and her eyes wide. How could I refuse?

“Sure, let’s go shopping.” She jumped a little in the air and run back off towards the bus. Adam looked at her as she ran, and then he looked at me.

“Gee, I heard about you and Lyn,” I nodded, I wasn’t even mad about it even more. It’s her choice, I don’t fucking care. I guess it just wasn’t meant to be. “So, is she your new girl?” He asked hopefully.

I have no clue what made me say, what I said next but I can tell you that, no matter what trouble it caused, I don’t regret it.

“Yea, man, she is.”