Let The Walls Break Down

I wiped my mouth and then looked over at Alex, who was currently splayed out on the floor beside me. He had passed out cold a few minutes ago, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I couldn’t get out of the bathroom since he was in front of the door, so I just sat there. The alcohol and weed had made me feel way more confident, so I wasn’t scared little Jack anymore. I wasn’t freaking out or panicking, I just felt…chill. I grabbed Alex’s pack and his lighter and lit up, looking at Alex. He seemed so different without his cocky smirk and his charming demeanor. I thought about when he had shotgunned with me…I now understood what that was, and boy did I love it. The first time I was nervous as hell, but after I perfected it with Jenna, I had been eager again to try it with Alex. But then he had gone and totally been..well, sexy about it, and my plan was blown and I screwed it up. The first time, I had been too focused on not messing up to enjoy it. But the second time, I’ll never forget the way Alex tasted- obviously like weed, but there was a hint of mint and just a hint of pure Alex. I felt like he had purposely prolonged the moment, but maybe that was just my imagination. But I had definitely felt his lips touch mine, for a brief second, whether intentional or not.

And I had liked it.

I liked the way Alex made me feel…I liked Alex.

The thought didn’t freak me out, I mean it wasn’t like anyone would ever know. Perks of no talking- no one could hear me say that I liked him, a friend wouldn’t accidently spill the beans, I would accidently say it myself.

I was started to feel tired from all of the commotion of the day, and I just drifted off to sleep.
I woke up I don’t know how long later, still on the bathroom floor. Alex was in the same position as when I had fallen asleep. I checked the time- three in the morning, about two hours later. I shook his shoulder to wake him up, and he made the cutest groaning noise. I bent over and looked into his eyes, and he sat up slowly. “Jacky ?” I pulled him to his feet, and we exited the bathroom. I worried about how it might look, but everyone else was sleeping. The whole house was eerily quiet, and people were passed out/sleeping on every inch of the floor. Cans and bottles littered the entire house, and I was so glad I wouldn’t have to clean this up. We stepped over people, looking for a place to sleep. “We should try the trampoline,” Alex told me quietly. His sleepy voice was one of the best sounds I’ve ever heard. I nodded and followed him outside. It was still warm, and the stars were shining full blast. A few others lay on the trampoline, but there was plenty of room. I kicked my shoes off and climbed on, and Alex settled next to me. I don’t know how I slept knowing that I was right next to him, but somehow I managed.

The sun woke me up the next morning, and I found myself alone. I sat up and looked around, confused. The yard had been cleared out and was now spotless and free of patrons. A glance through the sliding glass doors told the same story for the interior of the house. I wandered into the living room, looking for Rian and Alex. My phone was missing, so I had no idea what time it was. I wandered upstairs, the eerie silence making me edgy. Then again, that’s probably how people felt around me. A bedroom door was open, and I peered inside. Tay was sitting on a bed, alone. She saw me and waved me inside, patting the spot beside her. I liked Tay, she was really nice and she had befriended me even though I was a mute freak. She looked at me, her expression distraught “I’m pretty sure I had sex with someone last night…” Pretty sure ? That wasn’t good. I nodded for her to keep going. Her brow furrowed “And I think it was Alex…”

I kept my face blank, but inside I was furious. An unexplained kind of fury that made me want to throttle Alex. I listened to Tay’s story about how she had gotten a little too drunk and hooked up with someone early this morning. Alex wasn’t with me when I woke up, so he had probably left me in the middle of the night for a fuck buddy. He used Tay and then just dipped out, because he was nowhere to be found. What a stand-up guy.

Tay left after helping me find my phone, but I stuck around looking for Rian. I never found him, but I caught a glimpse of Alex through the glass door. Before he could see me, I turned around and left the house, walking home.

I scrolled through my phone to be sure there were no drunk texts, and luckily there wasn’t. But I did find that Alex had gotten a hold of my phone and put his number in it. I stared at it for a moment before clicking edit and delete.