These Secrets Are Killing Me
The Threat.
I struggled for breath and tried to pick myself up, but I couldn't. Of all the times for asthma to kick in, I crawled my way over to my drawer and pulled my drawer out. I searched for it frantically and couldn't find it. I got myself to my feet and ran down the stairs(the smart thing to do when having an asthma is run note my sarcasm) I opened the medicine cabinet and pulled my inhaler out. I took each inhale like it was drug, I slowly got my breathing back to normal and slid down to the floor and cried.
"Jesse baby I'm sorry I just snapped!" Dad sobbed out, he came towards me with open arms but I flinched away. Which is only natural seeing as he just tried to kill me because I outed my Mom. Which by the way he didn't catch onto I thanked God for that, anyways back to point. I sat on the living room floor, holding onto my inhaler like a little kid would their blanket. He sat next to me and sobbed apologizing countless times, saying he lost his temper. I've seen him lose his temper plenty of times, but not once had he laid a hand on me. Till now.
Mom walked into the kitchen and pulled Dad up to his feet, ignoring me. I didn't care I got to my feet and walked away, I couldn't dare to face them. When I reached my room I got on my floor and looked underneath my bed, finding the box that held all of my things. I pulled it out and opened the box I swear I heard hallelujah being sung from somewhere. I picked up a fresh razor blade and walked into my bathroom. I took off my rainbow arm warmer and just looked down at the cuts that had been littered on my arm. I placed the razor to my skin and slashed it, deep a lot more deeper than I've ever done. The blood trickled down my arm and fell into the palm of my hand. I grabbed a towel and applied pressure to the cut, and rinsed it off. The clear water turned a pinkish color just like in the rehab, and once again I stupidly added soap to the equation. What can I say I'm a slow learner.
'Today I fell and felt better, just knowing this matters, I just feel stronger and sharper, found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful.' I ran out of the bathroom and picked up my second brand new cell phone. Justin I hurriedly pressed talk and placed the phone to my ear.
"Hey baby hows life at home?" Justin asked, the minute I heard his voice my whole day just got better, he had the affect.
"Shitty the minute I walked into my room you co-"
"Jesse how dare you out me like that in front of your Father what are you fucking stupid?" Mom asked, cutting me off. I heard Justin asking what was going on, but I couldn't answer I was to shocked.
I dropped my phone as I fell to the floor the minute her fist hit my abdomen knocking out all of my air, for a second time that day. "Listen to me and listen to me good Jesse, next time you do that to me I'll make sure it'll be the last thing you say. I will not let you destroy this family."
"Jesse baby I'm sorry I just snapped!" Dad sobbed out, he came towards me with open arms but I flinched away. Which is only natural seeing as he just tried to kill me because I outed my Mom. Which by the way he didn't catch onto I thanked God for that, anyways back to point. I sat on the living room floor, holding onto my inhaler like a little kid would their blanket. He sat next to me and sobbed apologizing countless times, saying he lost his temper. I've seen him lose his temper plenty of times, but not once had he laid a hand on me. Till now.
Mom walked into the kitchen and pulled Dad up to his feet, ignoring me. I didn't care I got to my feet and walked away, I couldn't dare to face them. When I reached my room I got on my floor and looked underneath my bed, finding the box that held all of my things. I pulled it out and opened the box I swear I heard hallelujah being sung from somewhere. I picked up a fresh razor blade and walked into my bathroom. I took off my rainbow arm warmer and just looked down at the cuts that had been littered on my arm. I placed the razor to my skin and slashed it, deep a lot more deeper than I've ever done. The blood trickled down my arm and fell into the palm of my hand. I grabbed a towel and applied pressure to the cut, and rinsed it off. The clear water turned a pinkish color just like in the rehab, and once again I stupidly added soap to the equation. What can I say I'm a slow learner.
'Today I fell and felt better, just knowing this matters, I just feel stronger and sharper, found a box of sharp objects what a beautiful.' I ran out of the bathroom and picked up my second brand new cell phone. Justin I hurriedly pressed talk and placed the phone to my ear.
"Hey baby hows life at home?" Justin asked, the minute I heard his voice my whole day just got better, he had the affect.
"Shitty the minute I walked into my room you co-"
"Jesse how dare you out me like that in front of your Father what are you fucking stupid?" Mom asked, cutting me off. I heard Justin asking what was going on, but I couldn't answer I was to shocked.
I dropped my phone as I fell to the floor the minute her fist hit my abdomen knocking out all of my air, for a second time that day. "Listen to me and listen to me good Jesse, next time you do that to me I'll make sure it'll be the last thing you say. I will not let you destroy this family."
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