These Secrets Are Killing Me
Cuts
"J-Justin," I breathed into the phone, I finally managed to get my breathing some what back to normal.
"Jesse! Baby are you okay? I- I'm sorry..." He stopped himself and just sobbed into the phone. I couldn't take this I really couldn't not right now, I had to much going on in my head and I don't need the added pressure of Justin trying to make the impossible happen. I looked down at my arm and noticed I was still bleeding, the blood was staining Justin's white muscle t-shirt. I crawled myself to the edge of my bed and pulled my knees up to my chest, I held in the scream. I put my head on my knees and cried.
My mind was going crazy I was still shocked that my own Mother had just threatened her own child. I can't believe it but in a way yes I can. "I will not let you destroy this family" is the only thing kept nagging me, she couldn't let me ruin this family. Doesn't she already know that she destroyed me, I'm broken. I'm battered and bruised on the inside, I feel so helpless. It was comforting to know that I had Justin on my side, but it wasn't enough to kick this feeling of why am I here? What am I doing here? My life has never been this bad, I can't believe it. My Mind was running full of questions. Would my Mom really kill me? Should I just give up all together?
I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn't hear the knock on my door. "Jesse!" I jumped about ten feet in the air, and looked up at the door to see Uncle Mikey walking into my room.
"Oh hey." I said, wiping my eyes and trying to cover the blood on the shirt along with the cuts on my arm.
"Why are you crying aren't you happy to be home?"
"What are you doing here?" I got to my feet and stumbled back a little. I stopped walking and placed a hand on my head which just began to spin. I brought both hands up to my head revealing the blood stain, I instantly brought them back down but it was to late.
"Jesse your bleeding, are you okay?" He asked, walking towards me. I stumbled back enough just to avoid him, he developed wondering eyes. I could feel him looking at the stain, as if he had x-ray vision to see if the source of blood was from my abdomen. I tried to walk away from him again, but a sudden rush of dizziness took over. Causing me to trip but amazingly I didn't fall to the floor, just stumbled into my dresser.
"GERARD!" Uncle Mikey screamed, I put all pain and discomfort aside and made a mad dash to my bathroom. Just in time the minute I locked my bathroom door I heard Dad storm into my room. I blindly patted my way through my bathroom until I reached the bath tub I crawled in and sat there.
"Jesse! Baby are you okay? I- I'm sorry..." He stopped himself and just sobbed into the phone. I couldn't take this I really couldn't not right now, I had to much going on in my head and I don't need the added pressure of Justin trying to make the impossible happen. I looked down at my arm and noticed I was still bleeding, the blood was staining Justin's white muscle t-shirt. I crawled myself to the edge of my bed and pulled my knees up to my chest, I held in the scream. I put my head on my knees and cried.
My mind was going crazy I was still shocked that my own Mother had just threatened her own child. I can't believe it but in a way yes I can. "I will not let you destroy this family" is the only thing kept nagging me, she couldn't let me ruin this family. Doesn't she already know that she destroyed me, I'm broken. I'm battered and bruised on the inside, I feel so helpless. It was comforting to know that I had Justin on my side, but it wasn't enough to kick this feeling of why am I here? What am I doing here? My life has never been this bad, I can't believe it. My Mind was running full of questions. Would my Mom really kill me? Should I just give up all together?
I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn't hear the knock on my door. "Jesse!" I jumped about ten feet in the air, and looked up at the door to see Uncle Mikey walking into my room.
"Oh hey." I said, wiping my eyes and trying to cover the blood on the shirt along with the cuts on my arm.
"Why are you crying aren't you happy to be home?"
"What are you doing here?" I got to my feet and stumbled back a little. I stopped walking and placed a hand on my head which just began to spin. I brought both hands up to my head revealing the blood stain, I instantly brought them back down but it was to late.
"Jesse your bleeding, are you okay?" He asked, walking towards me. I stumbled back enough just to avoid him, he developed wondering eyes. I could feel him looking at the stain, as if he had x-ray vision to see if the source of blood was from my abdomen. I tried to walk away from him again, but a sudden rush of dizziness took over. Causing me to trip but amazingly I didn't fall to the floor, just stumbled into my dresser.
"GERARD!" Uncle Mikey screamed, I put all pain and discomfort aside and made a mad dash to my bathroom. Just in time the minute I locked my bathroom door I heard Dad storm into my room. I blindly patted my way through my bathroom until I reached the bath tub I crawled in and sat there.
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