These Secrets Are Killing Me

Mikey and I followed the lady ignoring the stares we were receiving. You know the stares that say it all, the words aren't needed if you give them the right stare. We walked silently down the hall way and into the a small section that was blocked off from the rest of the hospital. I knew we had to be close when I heard Lyn-Zs screams. I just tried my best not to completely break down, it was a comforting fact to know that I had Mikey by my side.

It was a tragic thing that the guys hadn't had children. When Alicia went into labor on December 5th she gave birth to a still born, after that they never wanted children again. The openly said that they couldn't handle losing their baby boy, and wouldn't want to face it again. So children were not for them. Frank and Jamia just didn't want kids to much handle I suppose. I couldn't blame them after all Frank's other band 'Leather Mouth' had made it big. Bob just couldn't a keep a girlfriend long enough for them to even think about having kids, he said he didn't like the idea of being tied down. Ray and his wife well they are trying and have been trying for the past ten years. His wife isn't able to carry to a full term and every child they have conceived has either been a still born or miscarried. If that hadn't happened Jesse would have six little cousins.

I've asked Mikey and Ray about adopting both of them just slapped me in the back of the head and called me stupid. They had nothing wrong with adoption or parents who had adopted children. Ray said he just wanted a child of his own, one that had his wife's smile and his fro. He also said that he if was going to have kid it would be from him and his wife not a crack addicts creation. Mikey was the same way he said that if he wanted children he would adopt or he would talk Alicia into having kids some day soon, but he said after the death of his child he couldn't look at a baby the same. I didn't push the subject farther then that, I have tried to change Bob and Frank's idea on children but they wouldn't budge. They just said kids are not in their future.

"Gee are you okay?" Mikey asked. Breaking me from my thoughts.

I mumbled no underneath my breath and walked into the doctors office, walking over to my wife. She was mumbling underneath her breath and the tears were falling down her face. She jumped from her seat when she saw me and hugged me tightly whispering something in my ear. I pushed her back slightly and prepared myself for the tragic news.

"OK lets get down to business, I'm Dr. Jacobs." He said, sticking his hand out. I shook his hand and introduced myself, Lyn-Z and Mikey.

"Alright well I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances, but I do have some news that I hate to break to you."

"Well just tell us all at once, I can't handle any more surprises."

"Well then this news may came as a surprise but when the paramedics brought Jesse in she was wearing a shirt with blood on it. While searching her body for any signs of trauma or any signs to help us understand were the blood came from."

"And your telling this to us why? I just want to know if my baby is going to live!" Lyn-Z screamed, interrupting Dr. Jacobs.

"I'm sorry Dr. you were saying?" I said.

"Yes I found some deep lacerations on Jesse's left fore arm that traveled down to her wrist. Now I'm not saying anything but these do look self inflected, there is a recent cut and it nicked a vain. So the blood on her shirt looks like it's from this cut." He said, showing us pictures of Jesse's left arm. There in black and white, not literally, were cuts down her arm. I saw in the corner of my eye Lyn-Z reach for a trash can and let everything out.