These Secrets Are Killing Me

I ran till I couldn't run anymore. Till my muscles screamed in agony, till my lungs were so deprived of oxygen I felt like I was going to die. I ran till I knew I was far far away from everyone and everything. I felt the fall wind blow against my slender body, as I shivered I thought back to Justin. We haven't talked in a week and he hasn't even returned my phone call. I searched my pockets for my cell phone, but remembered it was still in Mom's car. Ugh like my life couldn't get any worse. When I finally stopped myself from thinking such crazy thoughts I looked up at my surroundings. I felt my heart flutter and so many happy memories flooded through out my brain. I walked over to the swings and traced the chain up and down with my fingers. I laughed and felt just like a little girl again. I sat down on the swing and moved my feet back and forth. Gaining some air. The air blowing in my face, moving my hair backwards and forwards. I smiled as I felt the rain drops fall on my pale skin.

"Jesse come on get off the swing it's raining!" Mom yelled. She packed up the picnic we had and rushed everything into the car. Dad was right behind her putting the basket into the car, and the blanket we sat everything down over Mom.

"Baby come on let's go!" Dad yelled to me. I just ignored their calls and watched as they raced to put everything in the car as the rain began to fall faster and the rain drops began to become more than just a drizzle. I kept pumping my feet back and forth so I could higher and higher. Maybe today would be the day I reached the clouds. Just like Mommy always told me I could do.

"Jesse come on! If I leave you out here any longer your going to get sick." Mom said. I always loved it when I was sick. No not the sneezing and coughing part, the attention my Mom paid to me. Oh I loved how she would drop her plans for that day just to spend it with me. That's how much my Mom loved me. She would make her day all about me when I was sick.

"If I get sick can we play candy land?" I asked, I loved that game. It was my favorite I was the best at the game. I always beat Mommy and Daddy.

She laughed and shook her head yes. "Yes anything my baby girl wants she can have. But you don't have to be sick to play candy land, we can play when we get home."

"Really?!" I stopped moving my legs, and let the swing slowly come to a halt.

"Yes anything for you. Now come on princess your going to get sick." She said, running over to me. She picked me up off the swing and carried me to the car. She placed me down in my booster seat and buckled me in tight. She placed a kiss on my cheek and ran her fingers through my hair.

"You know I love you baby girl. So does Daddy." I shook my head yes eagerly.

"Daddy let's go I wanna go play candy land." Mommy laughed and closed my door. I looked out the opposite window from me and saw Mommy and Daddy kiss. Mommy closed the trunk door and got into her side of the car.

"Yeah come on Daddy hurry!" Mommy yelled, from inside the car.

"I'm going I'm going! I don't want to make my favorite girl mad right Jesse."

"Ha ha Mommy I'm Daddy's favorite." I said, pointing my finger at her. She turned around and sniffled.

"Aw Mommy don't cry I was kidding, your Daddy's favorite too."

She laughed and pulled Daddy closer to her. "I know. And your my favorite girl too. I love ya Jesse, always remember that."

God I remember that day like it was yesterday. Sometimes I wish that it was yesterday, and that I was five again. Sometimes I wish that I never grew up I wish that I could have stayed five forever. Maybe then none of this would have happened. I jumped of the swing and ran towards the nearest pay phone. I dialed the number and waited till the answered.

"Hello?" They answered.

"Mommy I miss you. I love ya Mommy always remember that." I cried into the phone.