Baby, You Save Me

“A!” I laughed as he ran away from me bucking. My favorite big, black stallion was refusing to let me ride him today. He was in a much too playful mood, and he was acting like he was a young foal again. I checked my watch to make sure I still had time to play before I actually got to work. I stood still with my back toward him and waited. I heard him trying to quietly and cautiously walk up to me without me noticing. I felt his muzzle blow warm air on the back of my neck. I couldn’t help but giggle as it tickled.

A squealed and bucked off galloping. Once he was a few steps away, he turned and faced me with a snort. He made a huge show of himself by rearing up and pawing at the air. I grinned as he tried to prove to me that he was a big, bad stallion. He landed and stared at me for a moment. His ears flicked back toward the forest, and all of a sudden he whirled around and disappeared into the trees.

I stood still for a moment until it registered that he really did just leave that quickly. I sighed and turned toward the road that led back to the barn, and saw a tall boy with dark hair smiling at me. Joe was holding a camera and when he went to take a photo, I made a pouty face. What can I say? My horse just left me…

“What are you doing here?” I laughed as I made my way over to him.

“I got bored and I wanted to hang out. Then I realized that I didn’t have your number, so I showed up. Jack told me where you were,” he said nervously rubbing his neck. “Where did your horse go?”

“To be honest I don’t know,” I said. “He comes and goes as he pleases. I was hoping to jump him today, but I guess that’s not going to happen.” I turned to Joe as I got an idea. “So you wanted to hang out superstar? Do you think you can keep up with a working girl?” I winked as we headed to the barn.

“Of course I can keep up with you!” he responded indignantly.

“Care to make a bet on it?” I raised my eyebrows.

“I’m not really a betting person…” he hesitated.

“Ok. That’s fine. I wouldn’t make a bet either if I knew I was going to lose,” I goaded grinning.

“Woooow, ok I’m in. If I win though, you have to show me your lyric book,” Joe crossed his arms.

I sucked in a breath. “How did you know that I had a lyric book?” I’m not sure that I can show it to him. There is way too much about my past in there.

“You finished the lyrics to my song in about ten minutes. Only someone who has had practice would be able to do that. And anyone who writes would not be able to throw their work away,” His eyebrows were raised. “Unless of course you think that you might lose,” his voice trailed off.

“Of course not. Fine, but if I win you have to give me tickets to your next concert.”

“Deal,” Joe held his hand out to shake with a smug look on his face.

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just nice to know that you thought we were so awesome that you want to see us again,” He winked.

I rolled my eyes, “Follow me superstar.”

“So what are we going to do first? Ride off into the sunset? Race and see who wins?” He asked eagerly with excitement in his voice.

I laughed. “We are going to muck stalls and clean tack. Then if we have time, we can ride,” I looked over at him. He stopped in his tracks with his mouth open and disgusted look on his face. “Unless of course you can’t handle that?” My eyebrows were raised.

“Of course I can handle it,” He scoffed. “It’s just not very much fun.”

“You have to do the boring stuff to be able to do the fun stuff.”

“And to read your songbook,” he smiled mischievously at me.

“Why are you so interested in that anyway?” I questioned as we reached the barn. I handed him a mucking fork, took one for myself, grabbed a bin and led him to the first stall.

“Because I’m interested in you,” he shrugged his shoulders. “And a person’s lyrics can usually give you a pretty good idea of their life.”

“So instead of asking me about my past, you are going to peek at my diary?”

“Pretty much,” He smiled impishly at me. “People lie. Music doesn’t. Now get back to work.” He moved quickly toward me with his arm out. I yelped in surprise and my body took over. I automatically hid behind my hands, blocking my face and ears. I waited like that for a solid minute before I risked opening my eyes and looking through my arms at Joe. He had a confused look on his face, but he didn’t look threatening anymore.

I dropped my arms to my side and laughed it off as I realized he was just going to shove my shoulder in a friendly way. I grabbed my mucking fork off the ground and calmly got back to work. I was able to block the memories out of my head for a little while, but eventually they took over

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Anna! Where are you? Daddy’s home. Come here. I need you to help me with something.”

My small, eight year old self was hiding in my room. I didn’t really like to talk to Daddy when he came home late. He wasn’t very nice. He liked to hurt me when I didn’t do what he said. Soon though, he would go to sleep on the couch and I would be ok.

Oh no. His footsteps are coming up the stairs. I ran to my closet and hid inside. He wouldn’t find me here.

“Anna? Anna where are you? Come out and play.”

Suddenly the door was wrenched open and he grabbed my hair and pulled me out of the safety of my closet. I screamed out from the pain.

“Shut up you bitch!” He hit me across the face.

I whimpered once but fell silent. I knew he would only hurt me more if I was loud. He dragged me down the stairs into his bedroom and sat me on the bed.

“Anna, Daddy’s not very happy right now. Do you want to make Daddy happy?” I nodded in answer to his question. “Good. Now here’s what Daddy needs you to do.”

My little hands were shaking when I saw all of Daddy for the first time. I wasn’t sure why but this didn’t feel right. He told me what to do. I didn’t want to do it, but he made me. After a while my hands and mouth got tired, but when I tried to stop he yelled at me.

“Get back to work!”

There was a shark pain in my head. Daddy’s fists hurt! Eventually I tasted something gross and salty and Daddy said I was done. He said I did a good job, but I needed more practice. I didn’t want to practice more. It wasn’t fun.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“AJ?” I snapped out of memory and came back to reality. Joe was staring at me with curiosity on his face. “You ok?”

“Oh, yeah! Sorry I started to daydream a little bit,” I plastered a fake smile on my face. Whatever, Joe couldn’t tell the difference.

“Daydream all you want. It will make it easier for me to win this bet,” He winked at me with a sexy grin. Holy hell. That’s not even fair. How does this boy do this to me? I mean I’ve been turned on before, but I have never felt anything as strong or powerful as what I feel with him.

We finished cleaning the stalls with, surprisingly, no complaints from Joe and moved on to cleaning tack. I taught him how the process works, and we sat in the tack room with our cleaning supplies.

“Favorite hobby,” Joe stated.

“Is that a question?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah, what’s your favorite hobby?”

“I don’t know. Probably riding. Why?”

“Just curious,” he shrugged his shoulders. “Why is that your favorite?”

“You just can’t beat the feeling of being on a horse. I mean when you’re jumping or galloping, you feel like you are flying. You are free. You can go wherever you want to go. Plus you have this amazing bond. And let’s be honest, the feeling of sitting on top of twelve hundred pounds of muscle, sweat, and heart isn’t something that you can get from a dog,” I grinned. “What about you?”

“Other than music? I love photography. I like being able to capture a moment, whether it’s happy, sad, angry, whatever, and then being able to look back and remember exactly what happened. Every photograph has a story behind it.”

“Is that why you were taking pictures of me earlier?” I questioned. I wasn’t mad about the pictures, but I just didn’t understand why he was taking them.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “Plus you photograph really well. It’s fun to take pictures of you. You actually posed and had a good time with it. Camilla hates pictures and won’t me take them of her,” he frowned. “We only have a few pictures of the two of us together.”

“I’ve never really taken a lot of photographs before,” I mused.

“Why?”

“Not much to remember, I guess.”

Before Joe could say anything else, we heard tires crunching on gravel.

“Who’s that?” he asked.

“One of my clients. She’s here to pick of one of our horses. She bought him last week and he is finally going home,” I smiled excitedly. We headed outside to meet her.

A nice truck pulling a trailer parked outside of the barn and a woman in her thirties stepped out. She walked over and shook my hand.

“Sarah, this my friend Joe. Joe this is Sarah,” I introduced them. “Now let’s go get your horse, shall we?”

I was about to load Salt into her trailer, but I stopped. I turned toward him and gave him a kiss on the nose. I heard the click of Joe’s camera. That boy and his pictures! Then I helped get him into the trailer, and took her check. $15,000. Thank the good Lord. We were way too far in debt. This would help us at least a little bit. I let a small sigh of relief. I will deposit this tomorrow since banks aren’t open on Sundays.

“Now what?” Joe asked after I had put the check in our safe.

“Now we can have fun,” I smiled happily.

“We’re done with the work?” he asked with a sly grin.

“Yes,” I replied cautiously. That grin cannot mean anything good.

“Ha! I won,” he whooped. “I want to see your lyrics. Now.”

I sighed. As much as I wanted to argue, I couldn’t. He actually did the work without complaining. Hell, he complains less than Jack. “Fine. Wait here,” I ordered. I walked down the aisle of the barn until I reached Star’s stall. Star was a gorgeous black and white Gypsy Vanner. She was very calm and patient and I knew she could easily handle carrying Joe and I. I grabbed her bridle and a bareback pad and put them both on her. I walked her out of the stall and toward the mounting block. I hopped on her back, and helped pull Joe up behind me.

“So where are we going?” Joe asked as we headed into the woods.

“You wanted to see my lyric book didn’t you? Well did you actually think that I would keep it in a place where anyone could read it? Hold on. We are going to go fast,” I grinned.

Joe wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight. I could feel the sparks spreading warmth throughout my body. I unintentionally leaned into him, pressing my back against his chest and he tightened his arms around me. A sudden flame shot from my stomach downward and I automatically moved my hips with his as Star moved. Shit! What am I doing? I can’t give in to this feeling. He has a GIRLFRIEND. Oh man this boy is going to kill me.

After five minutes of this sweet, sensuous torture we finally arrive at a barn in the middle of the woods behind our farm. It was large, red, and sat on a small pond. The previous owners of the land had abandoned the barn years ago, and Jack and I had spent the past three years refurnishing the inside. Now, it was where we worked on music, played songs for each other and other people, and threw the sickest parties.

Joe and I hopped off of Star, I took off her bridle and saddle pad, and put her in a large round pen near the barn. Joe and I walked into the barn. It’s large, with a main area that is usually used as a dance floor and a raised area where Jack or I either DJ or perform. There are couches off to the right with tables and more chairs and a piano. In the back left corner next to the bar, there are stairs that led upstairs to the loft where there was a bunch of mattresses and pillows and blankets. On one of the tables there was a box with a lock. I grabbed my pocketknife out of my pocket and deftly picked the lock.

“Where’s the key?” Joe asked with a puzzled look on his face.

“There isn’t one. I threw it away the minute I got it.”

What? She doesn’t have a key? That’s weird. Who just throws away the key to a lock.

“Why?” I asked her slowly.

“Because, keys are easy to find. People who know how to pick locks aren’t. I know how to pick locks, and I can do this one in about a second and a half. I don’t need a key, and other people can’t break in and look at my shit,” she explained as she handed an old book to me.

“How did you learn to pick locks in the first place?” I wasn’t sure if she was going to answer my question or not. She’s not exactly straightforward about her past, and she had completely ignored this question the last time I asked.

She paused for a minute, deciding whether or not to tell me. “My dad used to punish me for being bad by locking me in a closet. Once you get hungry enough, you learn pretty quick how to get out,” she finally answered.

Wow. This girl. I don’t even know what to say. She pulls me toward her like a moth to a flame. I want her so much more than I should. I love Camilla, but I have never wanted to have sex with her on top of a horse like I wanted to do to AJ earlier. When we were riding, I felt AJ press up against my chest a little bit and I pulled her close. Then she started to move her hips a little bit more noticeably against mine and I almost broke my promise to Camilla right there.

I shook away the previous thoughts of AJ and sat down in a chair, opening her notebook. The first song was titled “For the Love of a Daughter”.

“Will you sing it?” I asked.

She pursed her lips in apprehension, and then nodded. She sat down at the piano that was next to the chairs and began to play.

“Four years old with my back to the door
All I could hear was the family war
Your selfish hands always expecting more
Am I your child or just a charity award?

You have a hollowed out heart
But it's heavy in your chest
I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless
Hopeless, you're hopeless

Oh, father, please, father
I'd love to leave you alone
But I can't let you go
Oh, father, please, father
Put the bottle down
For the love of a daughter
Oh

It's been five years since we've spoken last
And you can't take back
What we never had
Oh, I can be manipulated
Only so many times,
Before even "I love you"
Starts to sound like a lie

You have a hollowed out heart
But it's heavy in your chest
I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless
Hopeless, you're hopeless

Oh, father, please, father
I'd love to leave you alone
But I can't let you go
Oh, father, please, father
Put the bottle down
For the love of a daughter

Don't you remember I'm your baby girl?
How could you push me out of your world,
Lied to your flesh and your blood,
Put your hands on the ones that you swore you loved?
Don't you remember I'm your baby girl?
How could you throw me right out of your world?
So young when the pain had begun
Now forever afraid of being loved

Oh, father, please, father
I'd love to leave you alone
But I can't let you go
Oh, father, please, father

Oh, father, please, father
Put the bottle down
For the love of a daughter
For the love of a daughter”

Oh wow. I thought she got along with her father?

“How old were you when you wrote this?” I asked her.

“I had a bad version written when I was eleven, and then I edited and finished it when I was twelve.”

“Holy hell, AJ. That is incredible! These lyrics are amazing,” I paused slightly to think of a good way to say what I wanted to. “I thought you said you got along well with your family though.”

“Yeah, I lied,” she stated matter of factly. She walked around and sat in a chair across from me. She bit her lip, and I kept quiet, secretly pushing her to tell me more. “Ok fine. You want the truth? I HATE my father. HATE him,” she emphasized. I raised my eyebrows in silent surprise, but I motioned for her to continue. She sighed. “I don’t even know my mother. She left when I was four or five. She knew what my father was and she left me with him,” she ended bitterly. In that moment, I saw the hurt and pain that she has been through in her life. Then in a flash all of it was gone, and a mask of calm was in its place. I knew I couldn’t push her anymore.

“Hey, come here.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her onto my lap. My heart went out to this girl. She has gone through so much, and she’s had to take care of everything herself. She curled into a ball against my chest and I held her. “Thank you.”

“For what?” she whispered.

“For telling me the truth. I really want to get to know you better. I’m starting to learn that your past isn’t something that you want to talk about, but I’m happy that you just did,” I kissed her head and we just sat there for a moment. She moved to get more comfortable, and I groaned as my body decided that right now would be the perfect time to get a boner. She froze when she felt it, and giggled. “It’s not funny,” I growled.

“I take it as a compliment,” she winked as she got off my lap.

“Oh please, it just happens to guys. It doesn’t mean that I’m in love with you or anything.” I scoffed in defense.

“I know. You just want to have sex with me,” she winked, joking.

“The only girl that I want to have sex with is Camilla,” I said determinedly. I’m not sure whether I was trying to convince me or her though.

“Oh really?” she asked with a dangerous glint in her eye. Did she really just take that as a challenge? This girl is going to be the death of me.

“Yeah,” I replied as confidently as I could with that naughty look on her face. I had finally gotten my body under control, so I stood up to stretch. I caught AJ’s glance and she grinned wickedly at me. Next thing I know, she has me pinned against the wall. Her hands were in mine, holding them above my head, while the full length of her body pressed me against the wall. Once I registered what happened, I looked down at her. Her eyes met mine and I was sure that they looked the same, burning with desire. I can deny it all I want, but the truth is that my body wants this girl in a carnal way that is becoming increasingly more difficult to control.

“Just because you get turned on, doesn’t mean that you are in love with someone,” she whispered into my ear. Her breath was warm and smelled like peppermint. “It just means that you feel chemistry with that person. I know you don’t love me, Joe, but I also know that one little touch,” she ran her hand softly and slowly down my chest. I swallowed and tried to remain semi in control. “can drive you crazy.” She dipped her fingers into the waistband of my jeans, and I started breathing heavily. Camilla and I haven’t had our couple time for a while, so AJ was just about pushing me to the limit.

I was just about to lose it, and suddenly she peeled her body away from mine and walked away, putting her lyric book back in the box with the lock. I tried to get my breathing under control, and control the bulge in my pants, which was straining uncomfortably against my jeans.

“Come on, superstar. I’m hungry,” she said nonchalantly heading for the door.