Beneath You're Beautiful

***Nadia***

“Get up! Get up! Get up, sleepy head.”

‘What the hell is that?’ I must be dreaming but then why is this yelling so annoying? The voice which is owned by person I want to see the least is getting closer and closer. Why can’t I sleep just a little more. All that yelling starts to be too loud for me to continue my dreams so I force my eyes open. I was hoping that I was wrong and voice which woke me up didn’t own that person. Or should I say persons? When my eyes finally find source of annoying sounds all my hopes fall apart. Maybe I’m out of my mind. I have to blink a few times and stare at them.

I see my brothers.

My twin brothers!

Yeah I’m totally out of my mind.

“YA umerla i popala v ad?“ (I’ve died and gone to hell?) I asked still with sleepy voice but for it was the funniest thing I’ve ever said them.

“Tak priyatna utrom, sestra?“ (So nice in the morning, sister?) Piotr asked with a grin stuck on his face and how much I hate it when he did it. And he is grinning all the time so in fact I hate it all the time.

Piotr sits on my bed and Dmitry sits beside him. They look at me and wait when I will start shouting. But why should I shout? I did it every time and they still wake me up so it’s useless. So I start with something new. Ignoring them.

I grab my phone and unlock it. The first thing I see is time. 5:37,so nice of them that they let me sleep. And then I notice four missed calls from my dad. I assume he tried to warm me. The bad thing is I forgot to switch the volume on. But thanks for trying dad.

“Ty ne sprosite?” (You won’t ask?) Piotr scowls. Dmitry’s gaze passes over my phone to me and to our brother. Of course they want me to ask. I don’t see reason but they would be grinning like five years old when they will be telling me and I have no desire for that.

“I don’t have to ask. Iľja has to leave but it’s impossible in this family to leave me alone for more than 12 hours. So you are here to be my security. Am I right?” My eyes travel from Piotr to Dmitry. Of course it is like I say. I’m never able to be alone. Always is someone by my side. I can’t say that it is worthless. Sometime it’s good.

When I was younger I was afraid to be alone because of one affair that happened. I was the way too young for realized what was happening till it happened.

My teacher used to look at me like I was a piece of meat. Like a trophy. He was always touching me the way he shouldn’t and saying words like sweethearts or something while I was sitting in the classroom. It was uncomfortable but I didn’t know what that means. Of course he told me not to tell anybody or he would do something and I did have my mouth shut. I was only a child and really scared child. From child who loved school became girl who wouldn’t stand up from bed, wouldn’t study and wouldn’t smile anymore. Fortunately my mom noticed that change in me but didn’t understand it. That was when she went to school for me and saw what was happening. She brought me back home and told it to my dad. He was so angry that he never ever let me be alone anymore and for the first years I really appreciate that. I changed school and everything was alright for me but not for “my” men.

“Mikhael byl v uzhase, kogda on uslyshal, chto Iľja sdelal. My vse yemu obyasnili, no on byl yeshche s uma. Ty znayet yego.“ (Mikhael was horrified when he heard what Iľja did. We explained him everything but he was still mad. You know him.)

Dmitry tells me with soft expression on his face. They know that I hate this kind of situation. I know that they care about me but I’m an adult woman for Christ sake. And I don’t believe them a word they said. Mikhael? For sure? Maybe he’s protective but he would have leaved me here on my own. After all he did it once in Norway.

I’ve got five brothers. All are older than me, taller than me and more hotheaded than me. We are all tall. My dad is 6 ft. 1 and mom is 5 ft. 10.

With my job I have to be tall although I’m not the tallest model with my 5 ft. 7.
Mikhael is the first of us. He is 30 soon to be 31 and already married with two children. He is the type of big brother you can say anything and everything. He is always there for you with cool head and right decision when you asked him something rational without mentioning boys. He is overprotecting but never really shows it anyone besides me. Thank God he has boys and not daughters.

The second one is Pavel, the funny one and 28 years old. He loved to go to the parties and getting drunk. It was harder when he was younger but now he is married man and expects his first baby so he reduced his visits in bars at Fridays nights.

Third and fourth are Dmitry and Piotr both of them having 25. They are twins. Big, large, huge, protective twins. What else should be said about them?

The last one from boys is Iľja, my sweet brother who is 23 and the normal one like I like to call him. We are together on the roads most of the time because he is my manager.

“OK, nashe serdtse, get up. Get up!” (Our heart) Piotr switches language back to English.

All my sisters-in-law have a hard time to get used to our switches in languages. Usually we speak English and Russian at home. There are some difficulties when your parents are from different countries. The most difficult and different thing is that they aren’t united in language. Then there are culture and religion differences. Between Russia and Spain is more than four thousand kilometers and there comes problem as well.

When my family is all together we speak English because of my mom who isn’t Russian and she still tries to learn Russian language. She can read and speak but she still doesn’t understand when somebody is speaking.

All my brothers can speak different languages fluently and when I was a little girl they decided that the best way how to learn languages was speaking with me. The result of it is that I can speak 7 different languages fluently. With mom I always speak Spanish and Portuguese but all of us can.
Mom is proponent of speaking different language with children. It was part of our education. Mom knows just Spanish and Portuguese and just a little of English and she had problem to speak with my father. She never wanted that for us. Her speaking two different languages was part of our education. By the age of 7 we could speak fluently Russian, English, Spanish and Portuguese. Since my brothers were seven they started to learn new language. This isn’t the quite truth with me. The problem was that as a little child I didn’t know how to speak with strangers or at school. I used to speak with all languages in one sentence. I just knew that with dad I speak Russian, with Mikhael French, Pavel German, with twins Italian. Iľja speaks Turkish. And till my sisters-in-law get to use to that it was hard.

But it’s hard to live with us.

Dmitry throws me down from the bed with me screaming at him to stop. Once I am at the hard floor all I hear is laughing which are coming from mouths of my big security. They run out of my room before I can scold them.

“I hate you!” I yell only to hear other laughs that are coming from living room. “Ti amiamo troppo!“ (We love you too!) is all they manage to say between laughing. How can they be so irritating and on the other hand so sweet at the same time?

I get up from the cold and hard floor which becomes uncomfortable to be at and head to have a shower. The shower didn’t last long and after ten minutes I get out. Just in my towel gripped around my body I leave bathroom back to my room and to closet where I have to find clothes I will wear today. When my clothes are prepared I get ready. I don’t use any make-up because their artists would make it anyway so it’s useless. So I just blow my hair dry and dress up.

Twins are sitting at the couch in living room and watching TV while waiting for me to get ready so we can leave. Parentally they didn’t see me coming so soon out of my room and continue watching whatever is going on TV. I wait few seconds but they are so caught up in the TV so I have to cough to get their attention. They turn around and look at me from head to toe. Only after they nod to themselves which means they accept my outfit they get up and go to the door. Sometimes I think they never grow up. Still act like little boys.

“Why so much in hurry? We have an hour.”

“Yeah,and we’ll stick in traffic.” Dmitry says and is right.

We came half an hour sooner than we should but Anthony (the photographer) said he doesn’t mind. How could he possibly mind? He loves me to death. Anthony was my first photographer ever and since than he is like my uncle. Firstly he offered us coffee and then described what we’re going to do and how would the photo shoot will pass.

In a middle of photo shoots come my surprises. Few guys from Penguins team come. There are Malkin, Fleury, Letang and Crosby standing at the door’s threshold waiting for Anthony to invited them in. All of them look pretty exciting to be there and I’m so happy about that. How they said it was their first time on the photo shoots and didn’t have to make any grimaces, or smile when they are told to. They are watching me as I do my job and let me say it’s pretty hard to concentrate when they do all those faces on me. Evgeni even applauds when photographer called break. It is visible that they enjoyed this time there with me.

On the other hand I notice that my brothers don’t enjoy it like players do. They look uncomfortable to be there and I know that isn’t because they don’t want to be there with me or they don’t enjoy time on shoot. They don’t want penguins to be here. This is hard time for them to be here and look at me how I’m talking so many boys. They don’t understand that it’s just friendly talk. I must talk to them later.

I talk with Evgeni a little but Dmitry comes and gets me out of there. He let me to talk to them only because I promise them that they are just friends and that Iľja let me before he had to leave. In my mind all I could think of is what my brothers would do if they know what happened with Crosby yesterday. Oh thank goddess they weren’t there.

“Who are they?” Fleury points at twins after a while.

“My brothers.” I said like matter of fact. “I know they are weird but they just want me to be safe. Don’t worry.” We talk a little more when photographer interrupts us and I have to go back to the work. Some interviews, some singing and dancing and more and more photos, but that’s my job so…

“What are you doing after this?” I jump a little because I don’t notice anybody behind me but quickly realize by shivers which appears on my body that it is Sidney.

“Noth…” I don’t have time to even finish my sentence when Piotr comes in front of me.

“Anything she wants which contains none of you.” Piotr said angrily and stares at me. I didn’t see him this angry for a long time. If I recall it right it was when I was fourteen and one of my classmates asked me out.

I have a problem, and a big one problem.

Piotr has never looked at me like that. At least I don’t remember it. “Piotr, I…” but again I am interrupted.

“What you? I’ve already said what you wanted to say. Am I wrong?” he asked but I don’t answer him. I couldn’t find right words. And when I finally know what to say his glare shut me up.

“We will talk about it later don’t worry, when we will be alone. Understand?” I just nod. I never argue with them. I respect them the way too much so I always obeyed. After all they are my big brothers. They never did something I should hate them for. They were kind to me and helping me when I asked them for help. I know better than anybody else that I should obey and that’s what I did.

I give Sidney an apologizing look and headed to change myself. It doesn’t last long when I hear screaming and then rattling glass. Quickly I go straight where it all happened. Sidney lies on the floor with bleeding lip and Piotr stands above him with a grin. There is a broken glass table and frightened people around trying to stop Piotr. I look around and find Dmitry grinning in the corner. I roll my eyes and walk towards Piotr.

How mature guys!

“If you don’t stop right now, Piotr, I swear to God and all Saints above me that I’ll never talk to you and Dmitry again. And that I swear.” He glances at me then at Dmitry and back at Sidney. Suddenly he turns around and walks away, trying to pushes me with him but I don’t let him. Instead I walk straight to Sidney. I could feel that twins are glaring at me but I don’t turn around. Right now I’m so furious and don’t care if I behave like they want me to.

I kneel next to Sidney and stroke his cheek. I felt someone hands on me and knows that they are my brother’s but shake it off, don’t want to even look at him. “Do not even dare to touch me.” I growl and then change my tone to the soft one.

“Are you ok?” I ask him; trying to make him comfortable around me. He looks alright but that lip. I smile a little but I’m so angry at my brothers right now and I’m sure it’s visible on my face and in my eyes.

“He is fine!” Dmitry mutters but shut up when I send him a death glare. “I don’t ask you, do I?” I am angry and they know that. This is too much. I help Sidney to stand on his feet and turn around to men who call me their sister.

“Piotr, obyasnit. I bistro!” (Piotr, explain. And quickly!)
”No puede hablar con usted así! Pero la parte superior del es que siquiera actuó de esa forma y sin embargo no le importa!“ (He can’t talk to you like that. But the top of that is that you even acted that way and yet you don’t mind.)

“LIKE WHAT I’M ACTING?” OK I’m shouting at him, but the anger fills me. How he dared speak to me Spanish? He knows better than anybody that only mother can do that.

“Like a slut.” He tells me and in that moment when he tells it loud his face softens. But it was too late. The second it left his mouth my heart stops beating for a minute and then starts to fall apart. Piece by piece. He never said something like that. He actually never swore when I was with him. And he couldn’t live without swearing.

“I don’t…” but I don’t let him finishes instead of that I turn and walk away. I don’t care that he is calling after me. I don’t care what he wants to tell me I want to go out, away from everybody’s curios or pitiful eyes.

At the door I risk a glance back at him but I know I can’t stand it any longer so when I met his eyes I must turn around. Tears are forming in my eyes and I fight with them but they are wining and start falling down on my face.

He is thinking about me like a slut. I think everybody in the room can hear my heart breaking. He thinks I’m slut. He doesn’t trust me that I’m not like that, thinks I have sex with anyone I meet just because I speak with few guys.

"YA znayu, chto ty ne khotit skazať mi eto vslukh. YA znayu eto. No naiboleye boleznenny chasti ob etom ye chto ty dumayet eto." (I know you didn’t want to say it aloud. I know that. But the most painful part of this is that you think it.)