Everywhere is Fire

My voice was gone. Swept away like Rikki’s life. My heart pounded fast, almost so I couldn’t think.
No. She’s not dead. The blood from her head is--fake! It must be! She’s got to have some humor. . . this isn’t real!
I shook her. No movement.
“What the hell is taking you so long?” Dan’s voice came from outside of the bathroom.
“Dan . . . I--” I stared down at Rikki.
“What?” he opened the door, and came to the stall where I was at. “She got a gun? Seriously! James was supposed to keep those away from her! God, if the police find out, we’ll be charged for murder!!!!”
I couldn’t help but think if this was her plan. While we were talking about escaping, she was thinking about suicide? Or just a last minute action?
Rikki’s my best friend.
And she’s gone.
I wanted to bawl. So bad.
The memories swirled through my head. Halloween when we were little. My sister scaring Rikki so bad she peed herself. Stealing candy from Rikki’s brother’s basket. Thanksgiving. Rikki stole the turkey, until people figured out it was her. I ate until I threw up. Christmas. Rikki got me a barbie, and I got her nail polish (several ones).
A tear escaped my eye as I looked down.
“C’mon. We gotta go tell James.” Dan said. “Not like she’ll come back to life.
“No.” I said. I was angry at them. For bringing us into this situation. But I couldn’t lash out. I knew that. He’d beat me. But I had to stay. “You tell him. I’m staying here with . . . Rikki.”
“Kay, whatever.”
He left the bathroom.
I picked up the gun. “Rikki? Why?” I said as tears streamed down my face. Why? When we were trying to escape, she kills herself? Does that make sense?
Her curls were all over the floor, and her eyes shut. I stared at her. I put my fingers on her face, then to the shot. I touched the blood softly.
“Rikki . . .” I said, unsure what to say.
I pulled her body up, and I hugged her. Tears streaming down my face, I lifted the gun.
Slowly, I shakily pointed it towards my head.