Breathe Me in Sweet Suffering

Three days.

Three fucking days and he still had not given up.

I groaned into my arm.

Three days with Chris following me around where ever I went. He even walked me home and left his car in the school parking lot. He had stopped trying to talk to me, but he still followed me around. Always a couple of steps behind me.

As that wasn't enough the popular girls were giving me evil stares and the guys were ogling me. Chris' interest had made people wonder what it was about me that was so fascinating and that had made Chris follow me around and the guys conclusion was that I had to be an extremely good lay. Incredible actually if one considered the girls Chris had bedded and then mostly ignored after. And he had never followed anyone like he did with me.

The attention I suddenly got from the guys at school seemed to rile Chris up.

When Matt winked at me yesterday and whispered something I assumed was not exactly nice about me or any of my female parts, Chris had shoved him head first into a locker leaving a very impressive impression of Matt`s head in it. Not that I cared much about Matt. Even less if he thought I would sleep with him. But seeing Chris doing something that could look like defending me was extremely unsettling.

My nerves were getting more and more thin and I was nearing my breaking point. The only reason I was still sane in mind was because for once Chris wasn't following me. He had been dragged into biology by his friends while I had a free class.

"Hey Katt".

I looked up more of instinct than because I wanted to. Kim was standing in front of me, fidgeting slightly under my stare and blushing. Apparently being TJ's girlfriend had not cured her of her shyness. She never used to be shy around me. Another evidence that our friendship was over. I didn't even bother being polite.

"What do you want?"

She flinched and looked at the ground.

"Err. Why won't you talk to Chris?"

That was what she wanted? After ignoring me for months she wanted to know why I didn't want to talk to Chris?

"What?"

She flinched again under my harsh voice.

"You are asking me why I don't talk to Chris? I don't talk to Chris for obvious reasons and he is the one fucking stalking me!"

Poor Kim looked at the ground like she was looking for a hole to disappear in. I knew I should be soft and patient around Kim as she was the most timid person I had ever known but the name of the person behind all my problems and slightly frayed nerves pissed me off. And she had been the one who had dumped me. Not the other way around so if I was carrying a grudge then it was after all understandable.

"Okay. He is kind of stalking you but it is because he likes you."

Okay. Not a word in that sentence made any sense to me. For one Chris Cerulli did not like me. Never had and never would. Whatever his reasons were for his odd behavior it was not because he suddenly liked me. That was further underlined by my second reasoning. You didn't stalk people you liked. Many psychotic people had probably stated that in court but it had not and it never would be considered as a valid reason to harass someone. And Paul for all his anger issues and asshole like behavior was not a psycho of the obsessed stalkerish kind. Or at least he had not been although I was starting to wonder about that.

I blinked. And blinked again. Poor Kim looked like she was ill, paling slightly under my stare and had started to twist her hands nervously.

"You know. I never believed this cult thing. Or that you have been brainwashed into the cult of Chris. But now I am seriously starting to consider it. He doesn't like me. He has tortured me for years. I don't think he suddenly woke up one day and thought that: Hey I like Katt. And anyway you don't stalk people you like. You might have thought it was cute and all when Bell did it to you but in my world that sort of behavior have never been and will never be remotely cute. Just stay away from me and tell Chris he can fuck off."

Kim's huge brown eyes were starting to fill with tears and as on cue TJ appeared beside her, glaring at me like it was my fault his delusional girlfriend was about to cry.

"What did you do?"

He more or less snarled the question at me and if my blood wasn't boiling I would have been slightly startled by his harsh voice. But I was angry and I had never been very good at seeing danger when I was angry. If I had I would never had kneed Chris in the first place.

"I didn't do shit! And can you please tell Chris that if he doesn't stop stalking me or creeping me out I will put a restraining order on his ass!"

TJ pressed Kim into his chest and his harsh expression softened slightly.

"Chris is harmless".

I couldn't stop the guffaws that came from my throat.

"Chris? Harmless? Are we talking about the same person here? Chris is not harmless. He is a violent asshole with no sympathy or regret what so ever! Harmless would be the last thing people would ever think of when they describe him!"

At least TJ had brains enough to look slightly guilty for lying to me. It didn't help much with my boiling anger. It was the first time for months either of them had as much as looked my way and to know it was because of him… I wasn't even sure if I was truly angry or just incredibly hurt by the fact that the first thing Kim had said to me for months had been a clear plea for me to talk to Chris. The guy she hated and probably still feared. And she dared to plead his case to me. No how are you doing Chris. No I am sorry for ignoring you. Just a why don't you talk to Chris. So much for our former friendship if she was almost defending the guy that had made both our lives a living hell at times. I closed my eyes for a second but it didn't help with that boiling feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Just make him stay the fuck away from me and lump yourself into that category of people I don't want to associate with while you are at it!"

I grabbed my backpack and left TJ to console a sobbing Kim. When I calmed down I would probably regret being so harsh with her but right now I was too angry to give a damn. Why was she talking Chris' case? I knew she hung out with him but that was more for TJ's sake. I knew she was still afraid of him because she looked like she was trying to mold herself into TJ every time Chris had one of his angry fits. Witch he did often.

We were not friends anymore but I never thought she hated me. Witch she had to do if she was trying to make me believe that Chris liked me.

Was the cult planning to use me as some sort of human sacrifice? Maybe make me trust Chris before he slit my throat?

I took a deep breath. Calm yourself.

So. Plan. If Chris didn't stop stalking me I would tell Kyle. It was the last resort. I didn't like to involve Kyle in this since he would react like the typical overprotective father but if Chris didn't stop following me around I might have a breakdown very soon. I had already started to look over my shoulder to see if he was there. Witch he was most of the time. Not saying a word just looking at me with his creepy stare.

Oh god.

Did he do that just at school and on my way home or did he stare into my window too? All the signs pointed that way.

I shuddered.

I was never going to pull my curtains aside ever again. Just the thought of Chris staring into my window made my skin crawl.

God I hate Chris freaking Cerulli. Had someone asked me a week ago if I could possible hate Chris Cerulli more than I already did, I would have said no. I didn't think I could have that much more hate in me. Obviously there had been plenty of space for more hate against him.