Cross My Heart

I sat there with her in my arms, our bodies wrapped up in one big tangled mess as we laid here on one of the bunk beds. Her feet were knotted in with my legs as her head came to rest on my chest. Her fingers danced along my skin, tracing odd patterns on my bare chest. It was getting warm here in the bunk and I hoped that someone would turn the air on soon.

As the breath left her lips and hit my bare chest I shivered. I knew what she was thinking about, and as I began to make my own circles on the skin of her exposed hip, her head was lifted from my chest and her dark eyes looked up at me. They were a little red, clearly telling me she was tired and had been crying.

“I don’t understand, Johnny.” She whispered quietly. I sighed and awkwardly brought one of my hands up to play with the loose strands of hair that fell from her braid. “Why would he do this? Of all things…”

I frowned. “Babe, right now we’re not sure and it’s guaranteed that we will never understand but right now we need to get some sleep.” Ronnie’s eyes began to gloss over with tears and I sighed, lifting one hand up to wipe away the stray tear. “I love you, Ron, okay? We’ll get through this. I promise.” I kissed her lips and she sniffled.

“Okay, you’re right.” She finally said as she wiped at her face and put her head on my chest once more. “I love you, Johnny.” As we both fell into a deep slumber, and I could feel her in my arms I began to remember one of the many dates I took her on; the only one that has ever managed to leave me breathless and aching for more—for all her.

She sat up from her chair, her long brown hair falling in front of her eyes as she removed herself from the seat. Her laughter fell around me, the smile on her lips putting everything in order. I grinned as I pushed myself out and stood up to meet her half way.

“Oh, Johnny, what would I do without you?” She joked as I wrapped my arms around her soft body, her arms finding their way around my neck.

I grinned. “I hope you don’t want to find out.” I joked. She rolled her eyes, her lips forming that smile that I died to see every day—but in this moment, I found my own lips itching to touch hers and even though we were in a very open and revealing place, the words slipped from my mouth. “Kiss me.” I said simply.

Immediately, I paled and I thought—wow, what a loser I am. I mean, I knew for a fact that the rest of the gang would make me a big joke for a good two months, maybe even longer than that if they knew what I had said. Why didn’t I just lean in and kiss her like your average guy?

Instead of pulling away, she only grinned and came closer—and for a second my heart began to pound inside my chest. My breathing hitched and I knew immediately that my palms were going to be sweaty.

But when her lips met my ear—just slightly as she whispered, “Give me a reason to and someday, I might.” I became amazed. It didn’t matter how bad I wanted to, or how bad I wanted to find that reason—it was just the fact that she was giving me another chance, another day to show her that I could be the right one. And I was going to make it happen, someday.

As she grinned at me and walked out of the café, I realized something—something that I thought would never happen again. As her body left mine and out of those glass doors, I had realized that I loved every ounce and inch of her—inside and out. And fuck, I was falling hard.

__

I don’t know what time it was, but I could hear someone crying from under us. I woke up in a panic, thinking it was Ron but she was sleeping heavily, her body weighing me down. Her lips were hot and near my neck, and maybe at any other time I would have gone hard but now I could tell who it was crying as everything came rushing back.

It was Brent, and before I could form the thought I was waking up Ronnie. “Ron, baby, I think Brent is having a nightmare.” She grunted a bit and turned her head from my neck. “Ronnie, wake up—Brent’s crying.” Ronnie shot up quickly.

“Are you sure, Johnny?” She whispered back. I nodded and archer my neck towards the blankets. She strained her neck a little and when her brows furrowed together, I could tell she was a bit uneasy as she heard him sniffle. “I’ll be back.” She whispered as she awkwardly crawled over my body, her bare legs touching unwrapping themselves from my own.

When she left, I sighed and realized that if she were to ever leave me, I don’t know if I could ever get used to all the room I have on the bunk. It didn’t seem like there was much room, honestly, but now that I’ve spent months with her in the same bed as me, I’ve gotten used to it. At home, we would try to sleep so that we took up the whole bed, but it never worked. We’d find ourselves cuddling up against one another, as if we were trying to form our game of Twister.

“Shh, baby, what’s the matter?” I heard Ronnie whisper.

“Bad dream, mommy.” Brent cried. I cringed and frowned—poor little man.

“I’m here now, baby, do you want to tell me what happened?” I turned onto my side.

“No, mommy, it’s okay. Can you sleep with me?” I frowned.

“Of course baby, of course. Move over so mommy can squeeze in.”

To be selfish and honest, I wasn’t sure how I would sleep for the rest of the night. But I knew that Brent needed her more than I did, and maybe she needed him too.

__

The next morning I woke up to laughter. There was a roaring pain beginning at my temples and I knew it was from the lack of sleep that night. I wasn’t sure what time it was, but knew Ronnie would have woke me up if it were too late. We didn’t have another show tonight, but we needed to get on the road soon and judging by the lack of bounce we haven’t gotten on the road yet.
I grunted and kind of fell off the bunk and irritably made my way towards the bathroom where the shower was. I heard someone say hi, but I shut the door and did my business, turned on the shower and put my hands on the wall in front of me as I let the water fall from my body.

Before I knew it, I heard the door opening and closing. I figured it was a mistake, but when I felt cold hands make their way from behind me to stop at my chest, I realized it was just Ronnie. I felt her kissing my shoulder blades before she began to talk. “Sorry about last night, baby,” She murmured.

I sighed and turned in her arms and wrapped my own around her naked form. Water was hitting her face so I angled my body to stop it. “It’s fine, I understand Ron. How’s he doing?”

She shrugged and moved her hands from my waist to my neck, where she brought herself closer towards me. With her breasts against my bare chest, she answered me. “He’s fine, he’s with Brian right now.”

And before I could say anything, she brought her lips to mine.

__

Ronnie bent over to retrieve her fallen clothes and I couldn’t help but slap the pink flesh of her rear end. The sound rounded of the walls, as well she her shocked shriek. “Johnny!” She cried out as she pulled one of the towels down and wrapped it around her. “You’re an ass.”

I winked. “Love you too.” She rolled her eyes and I walked out of the bathroom, into the back room where I began to change into clean clothes. I was applying my deodorant when Ronnie walked in—she had gotten dressed in the bathroom.

“So I was thinking,” She began as she dropped clothes into the basket. Hopefully at the next stop there was somewhere to clean these clothes.

“That’s when we start running.” She rolled her eyes and pushed me—I couldn’t help but laugh. “What’s eating you?”

She smirked, “Well, certainly not you.” Shocked, I didn’t respond. I blinked my eyes a few times and she sat there and laughed, her wet hair falling in front of her face.

When I gathered myself, I grabbed her by her waist. “We could arrange that.”

She smirked, “Sorry, bud, not with my son present.”

I shrugged, “Whatever, it was your thought. Can’t say I didn’t want to.”

“Anyways,” She said as she pushed me off her with a laugh. I wanted to introduce you to Brent.” I looked at her skeptically.

“Brent knows who I am.” I said as she stepped closer.

“But as Uncle Johnny.”

“I don’t understand.” She rolled her eyes and sighed.

“If we’re dating, dipshit, we can’t have him calling you Uncle Johnny, what would people say and think about us if we had?”

I froze: “What?”

She frowned, grabbed a piece of her long dark hair and wrapped it around her finger—something she did when she was nervous. “Well, not now at least, but in the future—what do you think about him calling you ‘Daddy Johnny’ or something?”

“No.” I said quickly, grabbing my own wet towel and clothes and dropping them in the basket. “No, absolutely not.”

Hurt flashed before her face. “Why not?”

“He already has a father, Veronica.” I fought back.

“Last time I recalled, he gave that up.” She said. I turned around and looked at her—she was mad, but I could see the hurt still etched into her features. I sighed—if I was going to ask this woman to marry me just last night, why can’t I accept that she has a kid, too?

“I just, not now Ron, okay?”

“Yeah,” She muttered, “Sure.” As I watched her body leave me behind in the bunk area, I couldn’t help but wonder why was I such an ass?