Call Me Innocent

I looked at the flowers, growing on the yellow, burned grass. My hand reached out for one, but it was too short. I couldn't touch it. Yet it was so beautiful, tempting, mysterious. Red. I didn't know it was a rose. I was only six years old when we lived there. Outside the crowded city. I remembered my mum's voice, strictly telling me not to do it. My eyes took a good look at the dirty ground and then at my white, new dress. I shouldn't. That's what my mind told me. I shouldn't. But still. Mum would be happy to get beautiful flower like that. And soon I sat on my knees on the ground. The sand under my fingers was warm, almost hot. And no wonder, it was the sunniest day of the whole July. Such a beautiful and happy summer. A carefree childhood summer.

"Need any help?" His voice sounded too soft in my ears. I shook my head a no, telling that stranger to go away and leave me alone, but I just heard a chuckle. I looked up and backed away when I saw a pair of too green, shining eyes. Eyes of a young boy. He had dark, wavy hair and white pale skin. But his eyes were so different, almost scary. I couldn't look at them. "What are you doing?" he asked, not giving up and leaving me. "I.. Flower", I managed and then I looked at my dress. Squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. Soon I heard a sound of him sitting next to me, kneeling on the dirt. "That's a pretty rose. Are you going to take it?" he asked. He asked too many question. I didn't have enough answers. How was I supposed to know if I wanted to take it or not? I just ignored him and kept my eyes closed. I didn't want to talk to him. "What's wrong?" another question. I sighed angrily and then relented. "My dress is dirty", I muttered and my cold tone made him chuckle again. Couldn't he do anything else than laugh and ask me stupid questions?

"Well, that sounds serious." He was joking. It was serious. "No, don't", I said firmly and opened my eyes. I was greeted by a grinning face of a young boy. "It's a new dress. My mum bought it from Paris", I explained but he didn't react to it in any way. Just kept grinning. "What?" I chocked out. He just shook his head. "Nothing." I narrowed my eyes at him. This boy was making me angry. "It's something", I stated but got another shake of his head. "No, just forget it. Come", he said and offered me his hand. I looked at it and raised an eyebrow, thinking seriously about spitting on it, but then I thought that it wouldn't be too polite. Especially after being so rude to him all the time. So I took his hand hesitantly and stood up. My white dress had dark areas all over it. "Follow me", he whispered and I looked back at the red flower, growing in the dry ground. "But..", I started shyly and then he stopped. "Where are we going?" I asked and he flashed me a bright smile. The biggest and brightest smile I had seen so far. "You'll see", he said and took a step forward. But I just stayed there, refusing to move. "But..", I started again. "I don't even know you." He laughed at me until he replied; "I'm Alexandre."

I blinked rapidly and then decided that I could trust him enough. "I'm Sophie", I said shyly. I expected him to say something very childish, but he didn't. Instead, he just nodded and kept smiling at me. "What?" I asked. "Don't look so smug!" I sounded annoyed. He shook his head and huffed. "I was going to say that it's a pretty name." My brows furrowed. I didn't know how to react to that. "Oh..", I said. "Well.. Thanks.. I guess", I mumbled and felt myself blush. Embarrassedly I looked at my knees and my dress. "Let's go, Sophie", he suddenly said happily and grabbed my hand. "Just follow me!"

I didn't know where we were going, but the road took as far away from my home. I knew the area well, despite the fact I was only six. But here I had never been before. The road turned into an old path, and as we followed it long enough, that path disappeared. "Alexandre, where are we going?" I asked again, but he just shook his head. "I'll tell you when we get there." I didn't quite trust him, and the place around us had started to look scary. The ground was full of dark, long hay and old, big oak trees. I could easily imagine a pair of eyes, staring at us. I head a crack somewhere nearby and I rushed closer to Alexandre, squeezing his hand quickly. Then he looked at me over his shoulder and released a childish giggle. "What? Afraid?" he asked. I was, but I couldn't admit that to him. "N-no.. I just.. Just heard someth-..", and I heard another sound somewhere. I grabbed his arm with both of my hands and he laughed. "Sure you're not", he stated. I heard louder noise and suddenly I saw the hay move near us too. "What is it?" I asked and took another small step closer to him. He just shrugged but looked very calm. My eyes widened as I suddenly saw a fox nearby. It noticed us, froze and eyed me in horror. I just released an amazed giggle and it ran away and disappeared in the forest.

We kept walking for another minute. And when we heard water dripping we stopped. "We're here", he whispered. "Why are you whispering?" I asked loudly and he shushed me. I furrowed my brows. "This place is my secret. It's my favourite place in the whole world." My eyes widened. "Why did you tell me, then?" I asked in disbelief. "I just..", he mumbled and then shrugged. He released a breath he had been holding and then looked at me dead seriously. "Don't tell anyone about it", he whispered. I blinked a few times in confusion, unsure if I could keep such a big secret. "What if I do?" I asked shyly. He shook his head. "You wouldn't. Because.. Then I simply have to kill you", he said, mimicking cutting his throat open with a knife. I swallowed thickly as he offered me his hand. "This place is our secret?" He asked. I couldn't do anything else than to obey and nod. "Our secret", I repeated.

We walked further in the forest and soon I saw a beautiful small pond. The water was dark brown and there were waterlilies. I looked at them in amazement. "I come here when I need to think", he said and smiled at me when he realised how happy I was. For the first time I smiled back at him. "Thank you", I whispered. I hear my own voice echo in the forest. "For what?" he asked and looked confused. "For showing me this place, silly!" He rolled his eyes. "Oh." I laughed at his face of utter confusion. Then I took a step closer to the water. I found a dead tree, laying on the ground and I sat on it carefully. I took off my shoes and then my socks. I placed them carefully in my shoe, trying not to lose them. Alexandre watched me walk all the way to the pond. I took a step and felt the cool water immediately. I let out an amazed sigh and I kept walking around. "Come! The water is so nice", I said and he didn't hesitate to get rid off his shoes. Soon he was there, walking by my side.

Suddenly we both heard a loud bang. "Wha-what was that?" I asked him and leaned on him. He shrugged, his eyes blown wide with confusion. His pupils were large and he looked scared. Soon we heard that sound again. It was a very loud bang. I didn't realise what was happening until he shouted at me. "Run!" I took a couple of running steps and then looked back. He had stopped and was still listening. "Come on!" I screamed in horror. He shook his head. "Go ahead! I'll be right behind you. Run, Sophie!" he shouted and I ran. I trusted him. We was going to follow me and we were going home. And everything would be fine again. Just fine. I didn't know where I was. I kept running but I was too exhausted to try to find anything familiar. My legs lead the way and I knew I was lost. It was evening and it was soon getting darker. The sky looked purple, slightly red. I felt hot tears burn my eyes.

"Alexandre!" I shouted when I finally stopped to catch my breath. It was silent. I didn't know where I was. I repeated his name. "Alexandre. Can you hear me?" But even though I listened, I couldn't hear him reply. It was silent. Too silent. "Alexandre! Don't leave me here!" I screamed and bursted out crying. "Please. Please don't leave me here!" But he didn't come. I collapsed on the ground and kept helplessly crying for help.

At that point I always wake up, cowered in sweat.