And You Let Her Go

After finishing several cups of tea with Anne by their fireplace, she went upstairs to go to bed.

“I think I’ll stay down here and catch up on some writing,” I hadn’t written in a while and I figured now was a better time than any.

“Goodnight, Charlie,” Anne kissed my forehead and walked upstairs.

I opened my notebook to the first blank sheet of paper I could find. Despite my need to write, I couldn’t form any words properly like I usually would have done easily. Ever since… that night I wasn’t able to write shit. Stupid Harry made my brain mushy.

I shut my notebook and just stared at the dying fire.

“Hey,” I jumped at the voice behind me and dropped my mug, spilling the tea.

I turned around and found Him. Of course, I thought.

“Jesus, Harry!” I wiped at my pants furiously and walked past him to the kitchen, grabbing a towel.

Harry was collecting pieces of glass from the rug when I came back in.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, Charlie. I’m so sorry,” his brows furrowed and I couldn’t look into his pained eyes.

I sighed, “It’s okay… I shouldn’t be so…” I shook my head, not even knowing how to end that sentence.

We cleaned up the mess and went back to the living room; me, taking my seat from before and Harry, the loveseat across from me. And another awkward situation begins, I thought.

“Before you say anything, I just wanted to say I’m sorry,” Harry began.

“For what?” I snapped.

“You know what, Charlie. And ignoring you for the past couple days hasn’t exactly fixed anything either. So- I’m sorry,” He looked so guilty in that moment. I didn’t want to argue with him but I didn’t want to seem weak either.

“Whatever, Harry. Let’s just forget this and carry on with our lives. I’m leaving soon and you can go back to your pack of girls,” he winced at my response.

“Charlie, I want to talk to you about this. Haven’t we been avoiding this conversation? So, c’mon. Let’s have it,” he scooted up on the loveseat, sitting on the edge of the cushion.

I took a deep breath and pushed back into my chair, throwing the pillow over my lap.

“We were both drunk, we hadn’t seen each other in-“

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Harry,” I interrupted him. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. “There’s nothing to say here. You have your love life and I have mine,” Ha, I thought to myself, what love are you talking about Charlie?

He raised his eyebrows at me, “So I guess it’s true then.”

What was he talking about? “What’s true?”

“You and Niall see an awful lot of each other. Surely there’s something there,” he leaned back on the loveseat, crossing his arms over his chest. I couldn’t help but notice his sleeves rise up, exposing his biceps and more tattoos.

I laughed out loud, “Niall? We’re just friends, Harry! If you hadn’t noticed, I didn’t really befriend anyone when I lived here. What did you expect me to do, sit in my room and play with a rock?”

He took a deep breath, as if relieved, “…Just friends,” he repeated my words to himself.

I rolled my eyes, “This is ridiculous. I admit, I overreacted and I shouldn’t have been so upset about what happened at the party, but…,” I was about to leave when I decided to add something else.

“I wish I had never agreed to stay with you. This was obviously a bad idea and we definitely have our differences. You won’t have to keep me company as I’ll be leaving tomorrow,” I hadn’t planned on leaving so soon but I guess I was now.

Harry’s jaw flexed and his eyes searched mine, as if looking for a sign that I hadn’t meant what I said. His eyes suddenly darkened.

“You’re right, it was stupid of me to invite a total stranger to stay in my home,” he looked in my eyes, searching again.

Great, I thought. Every minute I spent arguing with him was a minute lost with him. I regretted walking into the bedroom that night. I regretted getting mad at Harry as if he belonged to me, because he definitely didn’t. I even regretted calling the cab that Harry and I both got into. At least that way we wouldn’t be in this situation, and I wouldn’t be losing someone that I admired so much.

“Have you packed yet?” he asked cautiously.

“No, I guess I’ll go do that now,” I stood up, leaving Harry with his head in his hands.

I walked up the stairs to my room and closed my door, leaning against the doorframe.

I grabbed my phone from the wardrobe and called Niall to tell him the recent news.

“But we didn’t see you enough!” Niall whined into the phone, referring to him and the rest of the boys.

I laughed, “I was only here for a week, Niall, don’t worry about it. Besides, I’m happy. I found my best mate!” I cheered into the phone.

“But not your soulmate,” he muttered.

I sighed, pretending I hadn’t heard what he had just said.

“Listen, my flight is at 3:05, so come over at one o’clock, yeah?”

“Of course,” Niall sighed into the phone. “But I’m driving you to the airport!” he hung up before I could object.

* * * * * * * *

I had finished packing the night before and had left my carry-on bag for this morning.

Even though Niall was upset that I was leaving sooner that anticipated, I hadn’t told him it was because of my argument with Harry.

I walked downstairs with my bags and jacket in hand. Anne was in the kitchen, packing me a sandwich for the drive to the airport.

Still no Harry.

I walked into the kitchen, hanging my jacket around the chair. Anne sniffed from the counter.

“Anne?” I put a hand on her back, trying to see her face behind her hair.

She faced me and wrapped her arms around me. I barely heard her muffled voice when she spoke.

“You’ve only been here a few days and I’m acting as if you’ve been here for years. Do you have to leave so soon? I liked having another girl around,” I chuckled and continued to rub her back.

“Gemma will be back from school in no time,” I tried to comfort her. I pulled her away from me and smiled. She gave me a shy smile and excused herself, walking towards the bathroom.

The doorbell rang then and I went to open the front door. The four boys were standing together with goofy smiles on their faces.

“Oh boy, I’m gonna miss this,” I grinned at them. They all tackled me and we laid on the floor laughing.

“Jenson, don’t go. We didn’t even go clubbing yet!” Louis groaned in my ear. I chuckled and sat up.

“There he is!” Zayn looked towards the stairs. I turned around and saw Harry in black jeans and shirt. I forgot how insanely amazing he looked in that color.

“Hello,” Harry waved at them. We made eye contact and his eyes were blank. The black holes had gotten smaller if anything.

I turned away to look at the clock, which read 1:34.

“Alright, boys. It’s time for us to part ways,” They all groaned in unison and I laughed, hugging Louis first.

“Goodbye, love,” he whispered in my ear.

“We’ll see each other again,” Liam kissed my cheek.

“Bye, Jenson!” Zayn cried, throwing his arms around me. I laughed, and he pulled me closer.

I finally turned to Harry, who was staring intently at the ground. I wrapped my arms around his waist and was enveloped with his smell. It was a mix of citrus and warmth, if warmth had a scent… He hugged me and squeezed my shoulders.

I wanted more than anything to stay in this moment, with Harry’s arms around me and his fingers stroking my hair.
We pulled away and I grabbed my military jacket. Niall opened the door, hauling my suitcase behind him.

“I’ll drive you,” Harry suggested.

I bit my lip, “Uhh, Niall offered to drive me…”

Harry nodded, taking a step back to stand next to Liam. I looked at every one of them and tried to remember this last moment.

If I looked at Harry again I knew I’d never make it to the airport. I walked out the front door and crossed the driveway to Niall’s Range Rover.

Hopping in the car, I slammed the door and started playing with my ring.

“Ready?” Niall asked from the driver’s seat.

I met Niall’s gaze and worry flashed across his face.

“No,” I whispered honestly. He reached over and squeezed my hand, turning out of the Styles’ driveway.