Anti Blue Skies

“You know, I’m actually really glad you’re coming with me tonight.”

I smiled at Manny who was trying to pluck a few strays from her eyebrows, although she was being a little melodramatic about it.

“But I could do without ass hat Harry Styles tagging along,” Manny grimaced, turning around to face me. “Of course him and Niall are best fucking friends! Why wouldn’t they be? Harry finds a way to bombard everyone’s life.”

“I’m actually kind of excited,” I told her and she gave me a face worth a thousand words. “I mean, yeah, Harry and I interrupting your first date with Niall isn’t exactly ideal. I want this to be special for you, but if Niall insists then this is the way it’s gotta be. I’m more surprised Harry is down for this, to be honest.”

She nodded, “If you don’t mind seeing Harry, than neither do I. Just know, I’ll make him walk home by himself if he ever makes you uncomfortable.”

“All the way from Dartford?” I laughed. “You’d really do that?”

“Yup! No doubt, whatsoever.”

So apparently when Harry texted me asking what I was doing today, it was because Niall had a total nervous meltdown about his date with Manny, second guessing the whole thing entirely. Harry insisted he’d come with if it made it easier to be in a group setting, so obviously Manny wasn’t going to be the one without a friend, so here I am. At her house, getting ready for her date.

“Do you think he’ll like white or the blue?” She asked me, holding two different tops in front of her.

“Do the white,” I decided easily. “Shows more cleavage.”

“Lydia!” She scoffed, harshly lowering her arms. “I’m trying to make a good impression on him. I really like this one.”

I smiled. “Then you have to be yourself.”

“You think wearing a sleazy, low cut top is being myself? Are you serious?”

“Um… yes.”

She narrowed her eyes, looking in the mirror again. When she held the white one up again, she smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. If you got it, flaunt it!”

I flipped another page in the magazine I was pretending to read when her voice pierced through the air once again. “Is that really what you’re gonna wear on my date?”

I giggled, staring down at my oversized sweater and comfortable leggings. “Exactly, it’s your date. Nowhere in the imaginary Manny’s book of dating rules does it say I have to look good. It’s not like Harry and I are on a date.”

“Fine!” She spoke, slipping on her shirt. “I suppose you’ll just make me look that much better.”

After basically begging me into doing her hair for ten minutes, I gave in. I mean, I knew I was going to do it after she asked the first time, but it was more fun to make her work for it. I decided to give her a loose curl, half-up-half-down sort of do and judging by the look on her face I could tell she was a fan.

“Holy fuck! You my friend, have a God given talent.”

I smiled. Hair was kind of my thing, but you wouldn’t know it based on my own hair. It was so incredibly, disastrously long that I mostly just let it do what it wanted.

“Quit touching it, Manny!” I demanded, swatting her hands away. “Let me stick the clip in.”

“So I’m assuming you classes are going well.”

“Yeah they are.” I told her. “Just sucks paying for them.”

For a moment she was silent and I wondered if I had offended her. She didn’t have to survive on her own.

“I look up to you so much for that, you know.” A small smile crept on her face. “You live on your own, do your own grocery shopping, and I know you work so hard at your dad’s place just so you can keep going to beauty school. And you don’t do it because you have to, you do it because you want to. You’re so independent and to be honest, I’m kind of jealous.”

“Wow, Manny. That was a deep one.”

She laughed. “Bitch, I’m serious.”

“I know.” I nodded, going back to the pointless magazine. “Thank you.”

***

The carnival was a bit chillier than I had hoped, but at least I had dressed accordingly. Manny on the other hand had goosebumps raised on every part of her body. The best part was that Niall knew before any of us that her teeth were chattering and she couldn’t hold onto her frozen lemonade any longer.

“Here, take my jacket.” Niall insisted, shimmying out of it and wrapping it around Manny’s shoulders before taking the cup from her hand. “Can’t let you freeze to death. We still need to ride the elephant.”

She peeked up at him with gracious eyes while Harry tried to hold in a laugh, but failed.

Niall pointed his finger at him, quickly. “Harry, don’t you dare say what you’re about to say, you wank!”

Harry rolled his eyes, turning around and leading us toward a bustling crowd of people playing games. There were lights brightening back and forth with every win and loss. Carnies speaking in loud tones trying to persuade everyone to try their hand at rigged games for an impossible win. It wasn’t fair, but it was a fair and that’s just the way fairs worked. And i ate it all up.

At first it was a little awkward when Harry and Niall had picked us up. I sat in the back seat of Niall’s car with him while he and Manny made small talk. Their small talk turned into comfortable, loud, funny conversation and Harry and I were just kind of there, existing at the same time.

After feeding the llamas at the petting zoo, and after I peed my pants laughing when a goat stole Harry’s hat and he slipped on a pile of cow shit, things got a little more relaxing. We were laughing the whole while cleaning off his shoes. As he insisted, he’d still never throw his precious brown boots away. It was like old times. Before things got complicated.

“Who’s ready to be dominated at the basketball toss?” Harry challenged. I didn’t fail to notice the smirk on his face while also catching the arm Niall placed around Manny’s waist, kissing her temple.

“Hey, mate!” Niall yelled to Harry. “We’re gonna go get some, err, what do you british call it? Candy floss?”

When Harry turned around, he looked almost insulted that two people would pass up the opportunity to shoot hoops against him. I was about to cut in when I realized he was going to say something unpleasant. Instead he looked closer and in that moment, I knew he saw what I saw.

Two lovebirds, who even on their first date--a first date shared with two tag alongs-- shared a bond that I could see, was stronger than most couples’ on their fiftieth date. She could say she was jealous of me all she wanted, but it was me who was jealous of her. Sure, I had Louis to take me out on dates, but I didn’t have the lust in Niall’s eyes and the abandonment in Manny’s. She got something right, because I had a good feeling about this one as well.

“Go on, then.” Harry replied, batting them away. Manny and Niall smiled at one another-- like two children getting permission from their father to cross the street on their own for the first time-- then darted straight for the food stands. “Enjoy your damn candy floss, but it will never taste as good as my victory!”

Before I could even say “See you soon” Harry was whisking me away to the stupid basketball games. Out of all of them, this was the one I knew I’d be the worst at. Seriously? He couldn’t enjoy a game of balloon darts or a nice little ring toss? It just had to be a sport.

He handed the carnival worker a couple quid and we were handed our balls. We squared up with the baskets and just before the buzzer sounded, Harry sent me a viciously playful smile. One that made my knees wobble.

“It’s on, Fletcher.”

I threw and threw and threw and it got me nowhere. Harry threw and threw and threw and it definitely got him somewhere. He maybe missed one out of the fifteen. I, however, made one out of the fifteen and I made sure everyone around me knew it, too.

My cheeks were a bit red and I was slightly out of breath when Harry turned to me, grinning from ear to ear. “You lost.”

“Shut up,” I scoffed playfully. “I did better than I thought I would.”

“Don’t be a sore loser,” he told me, pointing to the prize he wanted. We both watched as the worker brought out a stepping stool to unclip a stuffed panda from the tent. “You’ll do better next time.”

“Oh no, there won’t be a next time.” I shook my head, crossing my arms over my stomach. “Next time can be darts or that little one where you throw the ball and win a fish. As for hoops, I’m quitting while I’m ahead.”

He looked at me with squished eyebrows, taking the panda in his hand. “You scored one basket.”

“Exactly!” I cheered.

“Here, then,” he chuckled, handing the stuffed animal out to me. “Consider it your participation award.”

I tucked a piece of hair behind my ears, staring into his green eyes. The lights from the ferris wheel behind me were making them shine like I had never seen before. One thing I’d always known, the one thing I never questioned when it seemed like I was questioning everything about Harry, was that he was one beautiful human being.

“I can’t take that,” I said, shaking my head. “You worked hard for that.”

“Trust me, I didn’t work that hard,” Harry chuckled, stepping closer to me.

“But you earned it.”

“And I can earn a hundred others if I want.”

“But--”

“Just take the bloody panda, Lydia.”

By now he was directly in front of me, his hands tucked under the bear’s little armpits and I bit my lip, trying to contain a smile. It was a sweet gesture, although, a little rough around the edges. He was still Harry Styles afterall. But looking at him holding an innocent little panda in his hands, offering it to me without me having to ask, felt like a different Harry. In a good way.

“Thanks, Harry,” I spoke, delicately grabbing the bear from him while still staring into his crystal like eyes. “No one’s ever won anything for me before.”

We were each caught in one another’s eyes, the busy bustle surrounding us now nothing but silence in my own head. And it was weird in the way that it wasn’t weird at all. Even when he cleared his throat and spoke, his eyes never lingered from mine. Our fingers grazing, holding the bear between us.

“Well, I’ve never won anything for anyone before,” he finally let go of the bear, but thankfully he didn’t dare move his eyes, trailing his arm up mine. “There’s a first for everything, yeah?”

And looking at him, I mean, really looking at him, was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. It was overwhelming and crazy and insane, but it was still good.

“Yeah,” I whispered.

It was hard to breathe.

His hand reached the curve of my neck, sending tingles up my spine. When he slid his palm up to my cheek and stared at my lips, I hoped he couldn’t tell how warm my skin was below his touch. But let’s face it, I know he could.

His breath hitched when he brought his thumb to my bottom lip. I continued to stare at him, to study his every expression, to catch his every move. I could see lust and the hint of a smile stinging at his lips, dimples pressed into his cheeks.

Without even realizing it, I stepped closer. His head bowed, the scent of him invading my space. One million questions bolted through my head. Was he going to kiss me? Why does he want to kiss me? Why isn’t he kissing me faster? Why am I oddly okay with this?

Just as I shut my eyes, I felt cold air swoosh in front of me. When I opened them, Harry was staring past me, his eyes about to fall out of their sockets. A good three feet was between us now.

“Hey mates!” Niall shouted, coming up behind me. I felt myself relax, silently thanking Harry for pulling away in time. A least I wasn’t rejected…. again. “I hope the lad didn’t destoy you too bad, Lydia. He’s a genius with balls.”

Manny smiled along with him, walking just a step in front as they approached us completely. “She can give a mean haircut, but ask her to shoot a bloody hoop and you question how she’s even good with her hands.”

Niall and Manny smirked at each other, then laughed in unison. I had never met anyone quite so in sync as them. I mean, I suppose it helps that they each have big mouths, big egos, and a big vocabulary for sexual innuendos. Somehow, though, they were just likeable enough not to hate.

“Speaking of hands,” Harry cut in. “I noticed your little public display of affection over there. You were spreading gross Niall cooties all over the candy floss booth. Maybe a few STD’s.”

If Manny was embarrassed or in any way shape or form upset about having Harry around, she didn’t show it. Instead she did what I usually did when Harry and Niall had their banters. She sat back and enjoyed it.

“Oi! You don’t have to use your hands for PDA. You were basically undressing Lydia with your eyes.” Niall crossed his arms, looking between him and I. “I’m not blind and I surely don’t have any STD’s!”

Harry crossed his arms as well, making Niall look small. “You’re just stupid, then.”

***

Niall bought us all a funnel cake to share after he and Manny finally rode that elephant. It wasn’t exactly a romantic moment between them with Manny squealing and Niall pretending to push her off. For the most part it looked like a lot of fun. Their laughs were contagious.

“Ya know, I’m still mad at you for not riding the scrambler with me,” I said to Harry while we all scooted into one of the emp picnic tables. It only took us twenty minutes to find one. “I looked like a proper pedophile riding all on my own.”

“He’s a pussy. That’s why.” Niall chimed in.

Harry grumbled something under his breath, throwing a half-bitten chunk of funnel cake at him. “I’ve got a pretty weak stomach. Doesn’t do well with spinning or bouncing.”

“Will you at least do the Ferris Wheel with me?”

I remembered what his eyes looked like when the light from the ferris wheel caught them, so I couldn’t help but ask him if he’d join me. It didn’t have to be romantic or anything.We were having a good night, in fact, a better night than I’d had in a really long time. I didn’t want it to end.

He rolled his eyes.

“Please, Harry.” I begged, “I know you want to.”

“I don’t want to, actually.” He replied. “But--”

Manny sighed, slamming her hand on the table. “Harry, you better ride the bloody wheel of torture with her or I’ll rip off your balls! Yup, I’ll just rip ‘em. Rip ‘em right off.” She made the ripping motion with her hand.

Niall laughed, throwing his head back before holding food to her mouth, offering to feed her. Harry shifted uncomfortably, not sure if he should laugh or curse. “Actually, I was going to say I don’t want to, but I’ll do it because she want’s me to. Please, don’t come near me or my balls.”

I started to get up, Harry following closely behind.

Manny waved us off. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, kids.”

“There’s something you wouldn’t do?” I laughed

She rolled her eyes. “There’s plenty. Be smart.”

“Oh, shut up,” Harry said, reaching in his pocket to hand me the tickets.

In the distance near the bathrooms, I had to do a double take at a familiar face. Louis was holding two snow cones in his hands, chatting with another man I didn’t recognize. When we got closer I noticed how the green shirt he was wearing looked amazing with his complexion and how one of his shoes was coming undone. These were minor details that didn’t really mean anything important, just that he was so easy to stare it.

“Oh goody, your boyfriend is here.”

“He’s not my boyfriend, Harry.”

His eyebrows squished together. “Does it matter?” He looked at Louis, then at me, then back to Louis. “I think I’m going to use the toilet while you two chat.”

He took a sharp right, but I wasn’t going to stop him. As I approached Louis, he did a double take to me as well. His eyes were large in surprise.

“Lydia?” The way he said it was like he would have never expected me to be at a county fair. “What are you doing here?”

“Why? Aren’t you happy to see me?” I questioned, tilting forward to kiss him on the cheek.

“Um, yeah, of course.” He stuttered. He tried to smile, but I could tell it was a bit forced. “I’m just here with my cousin. She’s in the loo.”

“Okay?” I wondered, pulling away from him. “That’s cool, but I didn’t ask.” I smiled, but I found myself forcing it, too.

I watched him fidget with the cups in his hand while his cheeks grew a soft shade of pink. He looked a little sick. But maybe he was just tired or something. He most likely wouldn’t bring his cousin out to dartford if he wasn’t feeling good.

“So, how come you didn’t text me back earlier?”

My eyes grew wide. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I was pretty distracted all day. It totally slipped my mind.”

He nodded, standing up a little taller. “Good to know,” he almost whispered, hanging his head a little bit.

“Louis, look I didn’t--” I tried to explain in more detail, taking a step up to him but knocking arms with someone approaching. She had blonde hair and was wearing a red, strapless dress. I assumed she was Louis’s cousin when she screeched his name while tearing one of the cups out of his hands.

“And who is this?” She asked, looking me up and down.

Maybe I was imagining things, but I could have sworn I heard Louis gulp. “Brittni, this is Lydia. I met her at the gelato shop. She uh, ordered gelato.”

She smiled kindly, offering me her hand and I gladly accepted, trying to ignore how awkward Louis was acting. “Well then, it’s nice to me you. Cute boots, by the way.”

“Oh, thank you.” I smiled, hoping I didn’t look as weird as Louis was acting. I felt super uncomfortable. “It’s a pleasure to me you as well. Louis’s told me a lot about his cousins. Are you--”

Once again, I was being cut off and Louis was clutching onto Brittni’s arm. She was wearing a confused expression, staring at me like I was growing antlers.

“Me and Brittni gotta hurry, or we’ll miss the tractor pull.” What the hell was he talking about? Tractor pull? I was pretty sure that ended five hours ago. “Enjoyed seeing you tonight, Lyds. I’ll call you in the morning to discuss… um, yeah. See you.”

I watched him scurry away, feeling a cold draft wash over me. Louis had never acted that strange around me. He was funny and light-hearted and refreshing. This Louis I didn’t even recognize. But what I really held onto was the look on Brittni’s face when I mentioned her being his cousin. Was she not his cousin?

Was he seeing her?

Was Louis cheating on me?

“Why the long face?” Harry laughed, snatching up his zipper. “Just ignore whatever that tosser had to say. What do you say we get in line for that Ferris Wheel, yeah?”

I turned and smashed the tickets into his chest, forcefully. But I wasn’t mad, I was sad.

I looked up at him and he frowned, reaching to tuck some hair behind my ear. “What’s the matter?”

I sniffled before whispering, “I don’t really feel like riding the Ferris Wheel anymore.”