Within Two Minutes

“So, goodbye, David, and please come here then, okay? Bye.” Those words were the last ones came out from mommy’s mouth. She called David to check me after his school ends. My parents had to go to work after such a long time they were home with me. So, I’ll be at home alone, again. “Promise me you won’t do any stupidities, okay?” Mum said, as always the same. “I promise.” I answered obediently. “David will come here about 2 o’clock, yeah?” She finished and kissed me. “Be careful, I love you, sonny.” She stroked my cheeks and followed dad. “Bye, Pierre.” They said the same thing in the same time. “Bye.” As the door was shut I sighed.

It is too much for me in these days. The ground collapses beneath my feet. I’m falling apart. Last night I cried all night because of what happened. I tried to smile but I couldn’t remember how. I hate the way my life turned out to be. In that moment I just wanted to get away from the reality. And my only escape was music. So I put on my headphones and listened to my favorite songs. It took me away to a better place. I was sitting in the living room for quarter of an hour. At that moment a really sad song began playing. I could put myself into that song. The song was about me. It was about people peeking through fingers at me. About people who don’t understand. A tear ran down my cheek. I was thinking a lot about my situation. It started to weigh down on me. In that instant I threw all the books down from the shelf. In that I brushed against the headphones so they fell on the ground. I burst into tears. I looked down at the books. Among them was a video with the inscription – PIERRE’S BIG DAY. I immediately knew what it was - my first world final. I picked it up and looked at that.

I approached to the video player and put it into it. I watched the whole game. The end was approaching. “There are only three minutes to the end of the match and Wildcats are losing only two points. Game is full of remarkable actions. The fans aren't nor moving.” My eyes filled with tears as me was dribbling with the ball and throwing it to the basket. It made me cry. “Shit,” I sobbed. The recording included even the reaction of the cheering people. I replayed that moment three times. I was crying more and more. A part of me was gone. I already could not stand it. I drove to the bathroom and looked into all the drawers, which I reached. I gradually all unnecessary things threw on the floor. Finally I found what I wanted to. Mom's pills. I just looked at the tiny glass of pills for a moment before I went back in front of the television. I replayed the heartbreaking moment again and again. Then I was already totally sure what I have to do. I looked at the TV last and then instead gave a look at the pills. I was firmly decided. I put a good deal of pills into my palm. I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking. My head was full of thoughts. In that moment I turned at another shelf with photos of my parents. “I’m sorry, I can’t anymore. I love you mommy, I love you daddy.” My cheeks were tearstained. Then I took my chainlet I got from my sweetheart and kissed it. “I love you, Davie.” I closed my eyes for a minute. I put those pills into my mouth. I gulped barely. The victorious moment was still repeated in the video player. It was killing me. I fell down from the wheelchair and I was slithering to the table. I took a notebook and a pen down … I lay … I started writing, shaking: …I couldn’t stand it. It was the last solution. I can’t live anymore. Think of me in good... Love you all! I dropped the pen and gave the last look at the still repetitive moment. My head felt down on the ground…