Filipendulous

“Are you ready?” The saleswoman asked me after she finished helping me into the large wedding gown.

I gave a small nod and let her lead me out in front of Aoife and Chance. I stood in front of the mirror and examined material of the dress. No one said a word as I stared at my reflection. It was a large ball gown with a lace overlay and was simply lace from right underneath my breasts to the top of my hipbones where the skirt fluffed out. I smoothed a hand over my stomach and shook my head.

“It doesn’t look like something you’d wear,” Aoife commented.

Chance made eye contact with me in the mirror and shook his head. “Garrett wanted you to have a dress for the ceremony and a dress for the reception.”

“Oh wonderful!” The saleswoman exclaimed as she clapped her hands together. “That will make the decision easier.”

I continued to stare at Chance’s pained eyes as the woman rattled off questions about what I style I want. All different emotions flashed across Chance’s face. I don’t blame him for being stiff. If I was having to sit there while he planned his wedding to someone else, I wouldn’t be too happy.

“I don’t really like ballroom. Maybe we should try mermaid for the ceremony? Sheath for reception?” I suggested, finally tearing my eyes from Chance’s.

The saleswoman, whose name was Paula, smiled and left to get some dresses. I walked back into the dressing room and sat on one of the chairs. Everything was much more difficult with Chance here.

Paula soon returned with arms full of different dresses. I tried on three separate mermaid dresses for the ceremony and I was beginning to get grouchy.

“All right. Last mermaid dress,” Paula stated as she helped me into the white gown. I didn’t even glance at my reflection before we walked out to Chance and Aoife. Standing in front of the mirror, my eyes widened.

The dress was gorgeous. It was form fitting until it reached the top of my thighs then turned into ruffles with a long train. It was strapless and had a sweetheart neckline that made my already large breast seem even bigger. I ran a hand down my side and looked at my two guests.

“I think that’s the dress, Wren,” Aoife whispered as she swiped at her eyes.

“Shouldn’t I be the one crying?” I asked with a tight smile before looking at Chance.

“You, uh, you look beautiful,” he mumbled out, “Garrett would love that one.”

I nodded slightly and looked to Paula. “One dress down.”

She grinned and ushered me into the dressing room so we could start trying reception gowns. Once I was out of the mermaid dress, she put me into a gorgeous sheath dress. It had jeweled halter straps and went into a deep v neck, the waist area was see-through and also had jewels that went to the tops of my thighs, the rest of it was light and flowy.

I smiled as I walked out to Aoife’s gasp.

“Just when I think you can’t look anymore perfect,” my redheaded friend choked out.

“I really love this one,” Paula commented, “you wear it beautifully.”

I mumbled my thanks and looked to Chance.

“It’s wonderful.”

I gave another tight smile towards him and nodded at Paula. “We found my gowns.”

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“Do you ever feel guilty?” I asked and looked at Chance laying on the bed next to me with a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

He shook his head and exhaled smoke. “No. Garrett is a dick that gets what he deserves.”

I gulped and pulled the sheets tighter across my chest as I sat up. “I feel guilty.”

“Why?”

I scoffed and stared at the wall. “We are getting married. I picked the dresses out two days ago! I wouldn’t want him to cheat on me.”

“He does, Wren,” Chance spat out as he sat up as well, “he’s been doing I met him. You are doing the same damn thing he does.”

I sat there in silence. I already knew that Garrett wasn’t faithful, but I didn’t care.

“Do you love him?” He whispered before raising his voice back to a normal tone, “do you love him?”

I let out a sigh and ran a hand through my matted blonde waves. “I don’t know.”

“You must not then.”

I raised my eyebrows and looked at his face. “What do you mean?”

“If you loved him, you would know. It’s something you automatically know,” he responded.

“And you would know this because?” I asked with a slight accusing tone.

Chance laughed and returned my gaze. “Just trust me, Wren.”

I narrowed my eyes, but looked away. He grabbed my chin and turned my head so I was looking at him. He pressed a light kiss to my lips and leaned his forehead against mine once he pulled away.

“You don’t have to worry about Garrett finding out. We’ve been careful.”

I rubbed my shoulder and slipped out of his bed. Pulling my clothes on and spraying perfume on myself, I placed another kiss on Chance’s lips.

“I’ll see you soon.”

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I smiled to myself as I laid on the lounge chair by the side of the pool. I was never particularly fond of tanning, but Garrett preferred me to have a nice sun kissed skin tone. The pool was on the roof of our apartment building and it was actually deserted. It was calming to just listen to the sounds of the city while having the warm sun on my skin. My white bikini was something Garrett picked out. It left little to the imagination and made my skin appear darker. Even with my Chanel sunglasses on, I could tell that the sun caught my engagement ring at a favorable angle and made it shine like it was its own sun.

The door to the roof opened and I glanced over at it. Garrett walked out looking as handsome as the day I met him.

Not as handsome as Chance.

I scowled as the thought crossed my mind. Chance couldn’t give me the things that Garrett could and I had to make sure I remembered that.

“You look amazing,” Garrett complemented and leaned down to place a kiss on my full lips.

I smiled and pushed my sunglasses down. “You as well.”

He smiled and tilted his head slightly. “Won’t you get tan lines?”

I furrowed my eyebrows. We would usually drive to his father’s home right out of the city that had a private pool. Garrett preferred me to have no tan lines, but we wouldn’t be going up there for a while and I was starting to lose my color.

“Yeah,” I responded.

“Take it off.”

I sat up quickly. “What?” I stuttered out, “take what off?”

“Everything,” he responded with a slight smirk.

I gulped and looked around. “What if someone comes out?”

Garrett laughed and ran a hand over his short curls. “No one will come out. Just take it off.”

I could tell that the last sentence was a warning. If I didn’t take it off, he would be quite upset. I bit my lip and slowly untied my top. Dropping it next to me, I kept my arms stiff as I pulled off my bottoms which left me in only my sunglasses.

He gave a lopsided grin and lifted my legs up so they were in his lap.

“No tan lines,” he said as his hand slid slowly from my calf to my knee and finally my thigh.

My eyes darted around and I shifted uncomfortably. “Can’t we take this inside?”

His hand tightened around my thigh and I was sure it would bruise. I winced and bit my lip.

“But it’s such a beautiful day,” he responded as he slowly spread my legs apart.

I closed my eyes to keep tears out of them and tightened my grip on the chair.

Chance wouldn’t do this to you.