Loving Him Was Red

~Tell me, over and over and over and over and over again
It never was time for us, it never was time to let me in
Show me, over and over and over and over and over again
It never was time for us, it never was time to let me in~

Patrick couldn’t stop staring at the text message. He was feeling a bit down throughout their radio interview and acoustic performance, but seeing Emma’s name pop up on his phone and seeing her message lightened his mood considerably. He showed it to the guys as soon as they were settled into the SUV and heading back to the Tabernacle.

“Wow, well, I think that’s a pretty clear signal there, man,” Andy said, looking at the message off of his phone.

“Andy’s right, she wants you bad,” Joe replied, grinning like a wolf.

Patrick took his phone back. “Now what do I do?” he looked at his three band mates questioningly.

“Kick Natalie to the curb!” Joe exclaimed. “Hell, I’ll do it for you!”

“No, no, that is probably not the best idea,” Pete spoke up. They all looked at him as if he was crazy.

“Okay, hear me out. The last thing you need is to break up with Natalie while we’re still on this tour and Emma is right there. Natalie will figure it out, trust me. She may look dumb, but I have a feeling she’s pretty keen when it comes to things like this. She’s watched enough Desperate Housewives to figure it out. If that happens, can you even imagine the shit storm that she’ll cause?”

“Won’t she create one either way?” Joe pointed out. “Why don’t you just pull the band aid off now?”

Patrick scrunched up his face, deep in thought. “I will talk to Emma about it. Maybe I can try and get some alone time with her somehow?” he looked at the other guys hopefully.

“God, you and your female problems,” Joe muttered, slumping down in his char. “Yeah, we’ll help you out.”

Patrick looked down at his phone again and smiled to himself. He had hoped that Emma was going to give him that answer. Ever since he realized that she was still in love with him, he knew that he had to find a way to be with her again. He felt terrible about Natalie, but at the same time, he knew that he wasn’t in love with her and that leading her on wasn’t going to work out for either of them.

When they arrived back at the venue, they headed straight for the tour bus to freshen up and change for live check. As they approached it, they noticed Emma sitting on the step of the tour bus door, staring down at her phone. Patrick felt for his phone. He didn’t receive any more texts from her or calls. She looked downtrodden.

“Hey Munchkin, what’s up?” Pete called out to her, using her nickname.

Emma looked up and made eye contact immediately with Patrick. He saw sadness in her eyes and he frowned, rushing toward her. “Emma, what’s wrong?” he asked her with concern in his voice.

She stood up. “I just got a call from Christian. Looks like he wants to cut my trip short,” she said weakly.

Patrick could feel his heart speed up with apprehension. “What do you mean?”

“He thinks I have enough material for the story and wants to push up the writing deadline so we can make the August issue. He said I am supposed to come back after the Chicago concert.” She turned her gaze away from him and looked at the other guys.

“But that’s only four days away!” Patrick exclaimed. They were heading to Tennessee that night and then to Chicago, where they were going to have one night free of concerts and then perform the next night. They liked to have an extra night in Chicago to themselves to catch up with their family and friends. Patrick wasn’t ready for Emma to leave the tour yet. They still have at least 15 more shows to do before the end of June, and he wanted her at every one of them.

“I’m sorry, Patrick, Christian made the decision. He already let Bob know too. He booked me an early flight the day after your concert at the Riviera Theatre to head back to New York.” She set her gaze back at him. “But I wanted to talk to you,” she glanced at the guys again, “privately, if…”

“Pat, you’re back!” Natalie’s high pitched voice carried through the open air. She came running from the venue. Patrick shrank back, annoyed that she had to interrupt what might have been his only chance to talk to Emma alone. Natalie wrapped her arms around his neck and tried to kiss his lips, but he pulled his face to the side ever so slightly so she ended up slobbering all over his cheek. She pulled away and looked at him angrily. “It has been so boring without you here! Honestly, I’m going to need a rental car I can’t stand waiting around for you in these places.”

Patrick looked back at Emma, who had wiped away a few tears. Natalie must have noticed as well. “What’s wrong with you Emma?”

She looked up at Natalie, “Oh, um, nothing, I just found out that I have to head back to New York the day after the Chicago concert.” She tried to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal, but Patrick could see her resolve crumbling.

“And you’re sad about it?” Natalie looked at her in surprise. “Trust me; you’re lucky you don’t have to deal with that tour bus anymore. I’ve only been on it a couple of days and I already am sick of not being able to stretch out when I sleep!” She must have noticed Patrick’s look of surprise because she finished with, “but of course, that doesn’t matter because I’m with you!” She kissed his cheek again.

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes, which Pete caught because he gave him a warning look. He couldn’t believe the amount of aggravation he was feeling toward Natalie before. He wondered if it was because of his feelings for Emma coming back or if they were always there, but he never had them amplified so much before.

“I’ll still miss it,” Emma said, her voice hollow. “I have to go, um, work on some stuff. I’ll see you guys inside.” She turned and made her way into the tour bus, and Patrick knew she was going to hide herself in the back of the tour bus again.

“She is so weird,” Natalie said once Emma was gone.

Patrick glared at her. It seemed to be the only word Natalie could find to describe Emma and it was beginning to upset him. “She’s not weird, stop saying that!” he state firmly, catching Natalie off guard.

Pete grabbed Patrick by the shoulders. “Sorry, Patrick is very sensitive to the word weird, probably because people wouldn’t stop calling him that in high school. He was always that odd kid in the geeky glasses kind of standing around aimlessly. Like that kid in Hey Arnold.” He squeezed Patrick’s shoulders hard threateningly.

“Well, she was interviewing me earlier and we were talking about how you and I met and she had this weird far off look in her eyes the entire time and then all of a sudden she made some random quote from Star Wars, I think, under her breath and when I asked her about it she just acted like she hadn’t said something,” Natalie shook her head. “Random.”

Patrick grinned. He knew exactly what Emma was probably thinking about: the first time they had met. He remembered how perfect he thought she was in every way. She was so beautiful and funny and intelligent. He knew it was cliché but she had truly swept him off his feet and he wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the evening with her. “That is random,” was all he said.

“So what are we going to do now?” she asked him, seeming ready to change the subject away from Emma and onto her.

“Well, we have to get dressed for the live check and stuff,” Patrick said. “Why don’t you go wait inside and we’ll be in shortly.”

“But I haven’t seen you all afternoon!” she whined.

“Oh brother,” Pete muttered under his breath. He walked over and grabbed Natalie’s shoulders. “Look, it’s a lot easier for us to get ready fast if we can do it without using the bathroom one at a time. And I’m sure you’re not ready to see all of this naked hotness” He gestured toward himself, Andy and Joe, “Under one roof, so go wait inside and we will bring Patrick to you. Promise,” he said staring at her hard.

Natalie stuck her lip out in a pout. “Fine.” She stormed away and Patrick watched her go in shock.

“Wow, um, thanks for that Pete,” he commented.

Pete turned his gaze on him. “Get in there and talk to her. I’m pretty sure Miss Bitchy Pants will get bored and come bother us anyway.”

Patrick grinned and hopped up into the tour bus. He made his way to the back and pulled open the door to the back lounge. Emma was laying on the couch, curled up, her face planted firmly in a pillow. He could hear her sobbing. He shut the door behind him and in two quick moves was sitting right by her head. “Hey, hey,” he murmured, slowly placing his hand on her head, caressing her blonde strands. She quieted her sobs and slowly sat up. Her eyes were red and watery.

“God, this is so embarrassing,” she muttered. He lifted his arm up to her face and wiped her tears away with his black cardigan that he was wearing. She smiled at him gratefully. “Patrick, I want to be with you so badly, it hurts,” she confessed. “I tried to fight it for so long, but I can’t help the way I feel about you.”

He smiled. “Good, because I can’t either.” He took her hands in his. “Emma, just because you have to leave does not mean that our chance to be together again is over.”

“But Natalie…”

“Don’t worry about her. I will end things with her once you’re gone. That way, you don’t have to feel her Medusa-like wrath,” he said, jokingly.

“Her eyes could turn a person into stone, I’m telling you,” she replied ruefully. Then she seemed to realize what she was saying and burst out, “Patrick, listen to yourself! How carelessly you are talking about breaking that girl’s heart! Do you feel bad about this at all?”

He glanced down at his hands, which had covered hers. “I do. The last thing I wanted to be was someone who cheated on the person that they were with. But, I don’t know, it’s kind of hard, when, you know, the person I’m cheating on her with is…” He trailed off.

Emma leaned against his shoulder. “I feel terrible Patrick. Well, I mean, a part of me does. A part of me…” she paused and looked up at him. “Patrick, I don’t think Natalie is right for you. Even if you and I weren’t still in love with each other, I would still think she’s not right for you.”'

Patrick looked down at her with concern. “Emma, you wouldn’t be the first person to say that. But why do you think that?”

Emma glanced down at her hands. “No exact reason, I guess,” she said softly. She looked up at him. “I love you Patrick.”

He pressed his lips against hers and snaked his arms around her waist, drawing her closer. “I love you too,” he murmured in her ear between kisses. He could feel her desire intensify as her grip became more urgent, her lips pressing harder. He wanted to be inside her at that moment so badly, he felt as if he would burst.

“Okay, that’s awkward!” they both pulled away and looked to see Pete standing in the doorway.

“Dude, do you know how to knock on a door?” Patrick asked him angrily, grabbing the pillow that Emma had used to cry in and covering his lap.

Pete winked at him. “Ah, if you knew how to properly do a quickie, I wouldn’t have had to.” He clucked his tongue. “It’s all about your upper body strength and ripping off that first layer of clothes.”

Patrick snapped his fingers and rolled his eyes. “Aw, man that’s what I’ve been missing.” He grinned and looked over at Emma who was just shaking her head.

“I think you need to get changed for the concert,” Emma said, pushing Patrick off of the couch. “I’ll be in there in a bit.”

Patrick got up and unwillingly walked out of the back room with Pete. When Pete closed the door behind him, he grabbed Patrick’s hand, stopping him. Patrick turned around. “What? Do you want some alone time too?” he joked.

Pete grinned. “You know if I did I wouldn’t ask like that, it’d be much more forceful.” They both laughed. “No, I just wanted to make sure you know what you’re doing.”

“Oh you mean with this whole lying behind my current girlfriend’s back while sleeping around with my ex-girlfriend sitcom romp?” Patrick replied sarcastically. Pete raised an eyebrow with a disdainful expression on his face.

“Patrick, no offense, but you’re a nice guy, I mean, you’re THE nice guy. I know this is eating you up inside,” Pete replied.

“Kind of I guess. Don’t worry though; it’s not affecting me performance-wise… Well, I mean I don’t think so. Is it?” He looked at Pete in askance; suddenly worried that he might be messing up the band in some way.

Pete grinned. “No compadre, you’re still your annoyingly cute self on stage. Taking all the fans away from me,” he replied in jest. “I just don’t want you to get in a funk again, you know?”

Patrick smiled appreciatively at his best friend. “Pete, I’m not going to spiral into another crazy depression state and start blogging painfully long messages to the world, if that’s what you mean.”

Pete shrugged. “Hey man, you know I’ve hit rock bottom a few times over women troubles before. I just want you to know that we’re here for you and we’ll support you in whatever happens.”

“Really? No matter what happens, even if somehow I end up staying with Natalie?”

“Nope, we’ll murder you in your sleep if that happens,” Joe suddenly spoke up from the front of the tour bus. Patrick, startled, turned to see Joe raise his bottle of water at him. He shook his head and smiled.

“I think he’s serious Patrick,” Pete mused, pushing forward and into the front lounge area. “Okay, get yourself ready, dude, we have a show to do!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

People always said that timing was everything. She just didn’t believe that saying to be true until Christian called her to tell her he was cutting her trip short. She understood why he wanted to do it, but the reasonable side of her wasn’t thinking clearly. All she could think about was how she had finally decided to do something about Patrick and it was all going to be pulled away from her as quickly as she had made her decision.

“Christian, honestly, this could not have come at a worse time,” she had said to him over the phone.

“Wait, why? Are you and Patrick together again? Have I won my money??” Christian had replied, excitement growing in his voice.

“No, no, just forget it,” she said with a sigh as soon as she realized that she was about to give Christian the satisfaction of her admitting her feelings about Patrick.

“Emma Mann, for someone who is extremely good with deadlines, you are having a really hard time with this particular one,” Christian chided.

“Seriously? This isn’t an assignment, it’s my personal life!”

“Are you sure about that?” He retorted. “Maybe it is the main assignment.”

She paused, unsure of what Christian was implying. “Wait a minute, Christian…”

“You have four days Emma. Four days. I’ll see you soon.”

With that Christian was gone and he had just set a ton of bricks on her chest. What was worse was that she felt jealous that Natalie was going to spend more time with Patrick alone. Even though he told her that he wanted to end things with her, how did she know if he would feel the same way a month from now when their theatre tour was over and she was busy in New York with a new article and a new band to cover. Her normally strong sense of self was slowly falling apart. She had wanted so badly to see Patrick again and realize that she was better off without him. How he had gotten inside her heart again, so easily, only proved that he had never really left it over the three years that they were apart. Emma now just worried that he would break it all over again.

For the Atlanta concert, she decided to stand up in the lighting and sound production area with Brent and Rob. She wanted to try and steer clear of Natalie as much as she could until she was gone. Already, she seemed to be revealing more of her true feelings about Patrick to Natalie with each conversation that they had, and Emma knew that Patrick was right; getting Natalie riled up while they were all stuck together on a tour bus would be hell. She didn’t mind seeing the show from a different viewpoint every once in a while though. It kept the set fresh for her.

“So hiding out from the girlfriend, huh?” Brent shouted over the boys’ loud music. She leaned close to him, keeping her eyes glued on the stage, where Patrick was singing and clapping with the audience and Pete, Joe was spinning around with his guitar and Andy was beating away hard on the drums.

“You can say that. It’s easier for me to look at him up here without anyone questioning why,” she shouted back.

“I knew you two would end up back together one day,” Rob added. She looked at him in surprise.
“What? I’m not good at relationships, myself, but I know a good one when I see it.”

She grinned. “Thanks Rob, but we’re not a couple again yet, not officially. He’s still with Natalie.”

“And the sooner that is over the better!” Brent exclaimed. “I remember the first time I met her, although you would think that she had never met me before the way she acted when she first came out here. She was more interested in when Patrick was going to take her home than in hearing about the concept for the tour.”

“Well, not everyone is into this stuff,” Emma pointed out.

“Yeah, but they at least pretend, for their boyfriend’s sake anyway. She didn’t even hider her lack of interest. Pete, Joe and Andy were pissed because she kept interrupting us to ask Patrick about dinner.”

Emma winced. “Ouch, yeah, when they are in the creative mood, it’s best to let the four of them work and sit back and wait.” Her ears perked up. “Wait, favorite part!” She turned to watch Patrick mime a large heart with his hands as he sang ‘Why don’t you show me a little bit of spark, you’ve been saving for this mattress, love.’ After he did it, the crowd went wild. She loved how some things, no matter how much time had passed would never change, including some elements of the boys’ performance.

“You are such a fangirl!” Rob shouted, laughing loudly.

She grinned coyly. “Even if Patrick and I had never crossed paths again, I still love their music and I would listen to any CD these boys put out.” It was true. She remembered the first time she heard them live, the night Patrick asked her out on a date. Maybe it was because of the giddy mood she was in, but every song seemed to fill her up inside with fervor. From the point on, she loved their music. She still had her favorite songs and gave Patrick and Pete grief about a few of them, but overall, she had always enjoyed the direction the boys wanted to go in with their music. Patrick always used to tell her that was what he loved most about her; her affection just not for him, but for what he created.

“So, I bet you’re nervous about heading to Chicago tomorrow,” Brent said, testing to see what Emma’s response would be.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m not really sure what to expect,” she admitted. Chicago for her was like an addiction that she had to stay far away from. When she and Patrick had first broken up, she avoided her birth city at all costs. When it was time for the holidays, she insisted her parents come visit her, which her mother never objected to because she enjoyed shopping in the Big Apple. There were too many memories and people there who reminded her of what she had lost. She was nervous before about going back when she and Patrick were trying to avoid talking about their previous relationship. But now, she was more terrified that she would not be able to avoid the obvious elephant in the room: her and Patrick’s feelings for each other and Patrick’s current girlfriend in the same vicinity.

“Are you guys going to get back together?” Brent asked her.

She kept her gaze on Patrick who was now playing the piano, singing one of their new songs “Save Rock and Roll”. “You know, Brent, when I first came on this tour, I was bound and determined to not go down that path again. I didn’t want to put myself through the possible pain again. It was five years and the way it ended was terrible. But, being here with him the past few weeks, getting to talk to him about everything, it’s changed my mind about us and what we went through.”

“Yeah, like you two just needed to grow up first before things got serious?” Brent replied with a smirk.

She looked at him with dawning realization. “Yes, that sounds about right. We spent most of our early twenties in a hyper realistic world, right? We had no idea how to handle the real world, particularly not Patrick.”

“Yeah, for all his down-to-earthiness, this whole scene still affected him,” Brent noted. “Even you couldn’t help that. You two just had to take some time apart to grow into yourselves.”

“I like the way you think Brent,” she replied, giving his fist a pound.

After their show in Atlanta, the boys loaded up onto the tour bus for another long night drive to Nashville, Tennessee. Emma wanted to hide out in the back and work on cleaning up her notes and transcribing some of the recorded interviews she did, but Natalie insisted that she hang out with her up in the front because the guys decided to play Kings, a drinking game that was sure to get them all nice and drunk and Natalie wanted her to play with them.

“This game is the best with more people,” Joe complained taking a nice, long swig of his bottle of Bud Light.

“Oh I don’t know about that, I think it’s pretty fun as it is. We get drunker this way,” Pete replied, picking up a card from the table. “Ooh it’s a seven!!!”

“What’s a seven again?” Natalie asked, sipping on the plastic cup of rum. She was already on her third cup and giggling at everything. Emma could also feel herself getting slightly inebriated because she felt that it was the only way she was going to be able to deal with this awkward situation.

“Never have I ever,” Andy answered. “You say something you have never done and if anyone else in the circle has done it they have to drink.” Andy of course, was drinking water, which Emma respected. He had his values and he stuck to them.

She glanced at Patrick, who had a fuzzy look in his eye, which she could tell were the first signs of him getting tipsy. She hadn’t seen Patrick get drunk since the night they broke up. Even that night at the club, he was still pretty sober compared to her. When he noticed her looking at him, he smiled at her reassuringly. She quickly looked away and at Pete. “Okay, Pete, bring it on,” she said.

Pete smiled. “Oh damn, well what haven’t I done?” he quipped. Suddenly his face lit up. “I got it! Never have I ever tried to be a vegan.”

Andy and Patrick looked at each other and grinned. “Well a toast to you good sir,” Patrick said, knocking his beer bottle against Andy’s water bottle. They both took a swig of their respective drinks.

“Wait, you are a vegan?” Natalie asked Patrick in shock.

He swiveled his head in her direction. “Why yes, I am. Have you ever seen me eat meat since we have been together?”

She frowned. “I thought it was part of your diet,” she said lamely.

“Well you should have asked,” he said, “Boom!” And he and the boys laughed.

Natalie’s frown deepened. “Well, you could have shared that information with me.” She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted.

“Oh cheer up Natalie and tell us something you’ve never done,” Pete said affably.

She scrunched up her face to think. “Umm, oh I know! Never have I ever died my hair blonde.”

“Dammit,” Emma muttered, taking a sip. She looked at Patrick and Joe. “You two better be sipping those beers.”

Patrick and Joe laughed and took another drink out of their beer bottles. “Dude, I forgot that time you died your hair blonde Joe,” Pete exclaimed with a laugh.

“Man, blonde does not look good on you,” Andy commented.

“When did you dye your hair blond, Pat?” Natalie asked him.

Before Patrick could respond, Emma blurted out, “for his solo album in 2011, duh.” Patrick looked at her with a surprised look. So did Natalie. Emma blushed. “Haven’t you seen the album cover? I mean we did review it at the Stone of course,” she said, taking another drink of her beer.

“Yeah, that wasn’t my best choice. I looked like a ghost,” Patrick commented, grinning at her.

“I like your hair like it is now,” Emma replied wistfully. She noticed Natalie giving her a queer look so she quickly turned her glance to Andy. “Why don’t you go next Andy.”

“Okay, it’s going to be a sexual one!” Andy shouted.

“Oh good, I was getting tired of this PG crap,” Joe muttered.

“Okay, never have I ever had sex with someone in a light and sound booth.”

Emma grinned devilishly and took a sip of her beer. Then she noticed Patrick had taken a sip as well… and that they were the only two to do so.

“What the hell!” Natalie exclaimed, glaring at Patrick. He nearly choked on his beer he was so taken back by her shout. Emma quickly put down her beer and glanced at the other three guys. Pete was shooting her a worried look. “Who did you have sex with in a light and sound booth!” Natalie said accusingly to Patrick. She seemed to not notice that Emma had also drank.

Patrick stared at her wide-eyed, blinking a few times. “Er, my ex-girlfriend, a long time ago,” he said timidly.

Natalie let out a frustrated howl, making Patrick wince. “Seriously! You won’t even have sex with me here in the tour bus and you are telling me you had an ex-girlfriend you used to bang on stage? What was she a slut?”

Emma straightened up and started to intervene, wanting to defend her honor, but Pete covered her mouth quickly with his hand.

Patrick shook his head. “No, she wasn’t a slut, Natalie. She is, I mean was, a very nice girl.” He glanced at his band mates and Emma. “This is not the time and place to talk about this.”

“Uh, yes it is! These guys are my witnesses! You are avoiding sex with me!” she exclaimed.

Patrick grimaced and quickly stood up and grabbed her by the elbow, dragging her away from the rest of the group and into the bunk area. “Not here,” he muttered to her and looked back at Emma apologetically before shutting the door to the bunks.

“Way to go Andy,” Joe muttered.

“Sorry, didn’t know Emma and Patrick were sex freaks or else I wouldn’t have said it. I thought Pete would be the only one who would drink,” Andy replied, eyeing Emma.

“Moi? Wow, Andy, thank you for thinking that I am that much of a sexual god,” Pete said proudly. “But I think that honor now goes to Patrick.” He winked at Emma who was staring at the door to the bunk area. Behind it, they could hear Natalie reaming out Patrick, and Patrick asking her to keep her voice down. It made Emma’s stomach start to twist nervously. She felt Pete lay a hand on her shoulder. “I guess this is why he wanted to wait until AFTER you left to tell her the bad news.”

Emma looked at him and then Andy and Joe. “I feel terrible.”

“Why? Patrick’s the one who’s screwing her over, not you,” Joe pointed out.

“But it’s because of me the he is doing it,” Emma shot back.

“Would you like him to have sex with her, on this tour bus, with you in the other room?” Andy asked her empathically.

She shook her head. She didn’t want him anywhere near her. She wanted her gone and she wanted to spend these last few days she had with him every chance she could. Suddenly, the arguing came to a stop, and there was a strange silence. She looked over at Pete. He shrugged and looked over at Joe who was cracking jokes to Andy, silencing him with a look. Then they heard Natalie murmuring to Patrick.
“Come on baby, I know you want this,” Emma heard her whisper. Emma’s stomach twisted again. She glanced down at her discarded cards.

“Natalie, no,” he said in a slow and slurred voice. Then Emma heard him sigh and the springs on the bunk bed creak. Emma felt her eyes widened in shock and she gasped. She knew that Patrick was drunk and in no way able to fight off the oncoming attack that was Natalie. But the thought of him giving in still hurt.

“Shit,” Pete mumbled and he jumped up and made his way to the bunk area. Emma’s face was hot with embarrassment. She stared at her cards, wishing that she was anywhere else at that moment, but there. Pete opened the door and said, “Uh, excuse me, but we can hear you.”

She heard rustling around and Natalie say, “Well, that’s fine; we can finish later, when you all aren’t around.”She giggled and Emma could hear her walking past Pete into the main lounge area. Emma peered up at her from under her side-swept bangs in time to see her putting her shirt back on. She sat down on her spot on the couch and grabbed her cup of rum. “See, all he needed was a little convincing,” she winked at Emma, who wanted to throw up right on top of her. They are still technically together, she thought to herself, trying to reason with the part of her that wanted to strangle both Natalie and Patrick at that moment. He is obviously drunk, she added, but it didn’t matter; she felt betrayed.

She heard Pete shut the door to the bunk area and a small scuffle of noise and then the door to the back lounge area slam shut. She looked up at Joe and Andy who both exchanged glances of concern.

“God, I don’t know why he is having a cow about it,” Natalie said, her eyes also looking at the bunk door. She then looked back at Emma and mouthed, ‘I told you he was in love with Patrick,’ and nodded for emphasis.

Emma just glared at her, making Natalie’s face go blank with confusion and Emma looked back down at her cards. “I think I’m done with this game,” she announced and grabbed her beer and in one long swig finished it off. “Let’s just do some shots, huh?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Patrick’s head felt dizzy, his body warm. Natalie had pushed his already unsteady body onto the bunk bed and she climbed on top of him, straddling his waist. “Nat..a…lie,” he groaned, but she silenced him with her lips. She tasted like the chalky lipstick she always put on, so different from the natural taste of Emma’s lips. She pulled her top off and reached down and grabbed him through his jeans.

“Mmm, you already excited, baby?” she whispered in his ear and he cursed his body for reacting to her. She started unbuttoning his shirt when the bunk door slammed opened.

“Uh, excuse me, but we can hear you.” Patrick struggled to sit up, his eyes darting to Pete who was leaning down and glaring into their bunk, his eyes mainly set on Patrick.

Natalie groaned and climbed off of him so that he could sit up. He quickly started re-buttoning the buttons she had undone. “Well, that’s fine; we can finish later, when you all aren’t around,” she said snottily and then walked out into the lounge area, to Patrick’s dismay, still not wearing her shirt. Patrick stood up in time to see Pete shut the door to the bunk area.

“Get back there,” Pete ordered him, pointing to the back lounge area. Patrick wanted to protest, but he knew it would be useless. He moodily walked into the back lounge, Pete on his heels. He heard the door slam behind him and he turned around.

“Pete,” he began.

“No, shut up Patrick.” Pete ordered. “God, I thought I could only get pissed off at you when we are writing together. What the hell were you thinking!?”

“I didn’t take her back there to fuck her if that’s what you’re thinking!” Patrick exclaimed. “I wanted to calm her down. I didn’t want her saying that stuff in front of Emma.”

“Well that worked out well didn’t it? Because now Emma just heard the two of you fucking making out in there!” Patrick could feel the color drain from his face.

“Dammit, what the hell was I doing?” Patrick cried out.

“I’m not fucking sure, but I’m getting sick of you treating her like shit Patrick. If you love Emma, start acting like it.”

“I thought I was, at least before!! I mean, what can I do? Natalie is still here and Emma and I agreed that we were just going to wait…”

“And I can see why! Natalie is a manipulative and slightly psychotic bitch. After her freak out, I wouldn’t want to put Emma in that line of fire either. But god dammit Patrick, letting her manhandle you while Emma is in the other room?! That’s a dick move.”

Patrick ran his hand through his hair frustrated. “I didn’t want her to! I just, it all happened so fast, and all the alcohol… God, I feel like such a dick right now,” Patrick groaned.

Pete shook his head. “Patrick, you’re going to screw this up again if you’re not careful. You’re supposed to be the levelheaded one here, not me! I’m the manic depressive, bipolar kid, making all the wrong moves!”

Patrick nervously wrung out his hands. “Pete, you think this is a normal situation for me? I didn’t think Emma wanted anything to do with me when we started this whole thing. Then I heard you and her talking…”

“Ha! I knew you were eavesdropping!” Pete cut in.

“Yeah, you caught me,” Patrick muttered. “But anyway, when I heard her say that she still felt that way about me, I couldn’t deny that I still felt that way about her. And with Natalie so far away, my mind wasn’t even really considering that she was a big obstacle, you know? Not until she showed up a couple of days ago.”

Pete glanced back at the door. “Patrick, I know. I can’t imagine that this is an easy situation to be in. You’re just lucky that you are even getting a second chance with Emma. After what happened between you two… you need to apologize to her, okay?”

Patrick nodded. “Yeah, I will, of course. I feel like I keep having to apologize to her.”

“Well, stop screwing up then,” Pete retorted, opening the door. “Let’s get back out there. I’m sure there’s only so much Joe and Andy can think of to keep things from getting awkward.”

“I don’t think there is anything that they can do to keep things from getting awkward,” Patrick countered, following Pete out into the main lounge area. He cocked his head to the side as he heard the new Daft Punk song blaring from its lounge area. He and Pete looked at each other curiously, and then stepped into the main lounge. Emma, Joe and Andy were dancing around, singing, and taking shots and Natalie was staring at them angrily.

Emma turned and saw them and her face lit up. “Pete, Patrick, come dance with us!”

“Yeah guys, Emma decided to open up the tequila!” Joe shouted, his words slurring a bit. He leaned over the small kitchen table and poured two new shot glasses and danced his way over to them. “Come on guys, let’s party!” He handed the glasses to Patrick and Pete.

Patrick looked at his best friend, who just shrugged and clinked his glass with Patrick’s. Then they both downed their shots. Pete gave him one more glance and then started dancing with the others. Patrick hated dancing and hung back a bit, watching them eagerly, his eyes constantly wandering toward Emma. Even when she was dancing goofy with Pete, she was still so sexy to him. He suddenly felt a pair of hands wrap around his waist. The manicured fingers told him it was Natalie.

“Hey baby, they are all distracted, want to go back to the back room?” she whispered in his ear.

Patrick turned to face her. “No, Natalie, I don’t. I want to be out here, with my friends, having fun.” He said it so sternly that it put her off.

She sulked. “Fine, then I’m going to go lay down. This isn’t fun for me.” He just shrugged. “Ugh, Patrick, I don’t like how weird you’re acting. Did I do something wrong?”

He sighed. “No Natalie, it’s just, we’re on tour and this is what we do. I want to be with the guys,” he said as gently as he could.

She rolled her eyes. “Fine go be with your boyfriends or whatever.” She stomped off and into the bunk area, shutting the door behind her. Patrick turned back to his band mates and Emma, who had changed the track to the new Miley Cyrus song.

“Are you planning on twerking for us?” Joe asked her point blank.

She just laughed. “Hell no, I am not a twerker.” She finally made eye contact with Patrick. He smiled, trying not to look creepy, even though he knew he was being that way. She pushed Pete out of the way and nearly tripped getting over to him. “Where’s your girlfriend?” she said drunkenly.

He glanced at Pete, Joe and Andy who quickly turned their faces away. “Emma, I’m sorry. Nothing happened, really, Pete made sure of it.”

He saw her eyes start to water a bit. “Yeah, but if he didn’t do anything?”

He grabbed her chin and brought her eyes to meet his. “No, I would have stopped it, somehow. Like pretended to fall asleep or something.”

She just stared at him with her sad eyes, unsure of what to do next. “I wish I could believe you,” she whispered. “I think I’m going to go sleep in the lounge area tonight.” She turned around and walked up to the other three guys. “Okay, I’m going to bed,” she announced.

“No, stay up and dance with us!” Pete exclaimed, his eyes darting toward Patrick. He gave him a warning look. Patrick didn’t know what to do though.

“Yeah, you put on this awful song, you should be tortured like us into listening to it in its entirety,” Joe remarked, raising an eyebrow.

Emma glanced at him and back at the guys. “Oh fine, let’s twerk it out.” She started to pretend to twerk and the guys all laughed and joined in.

Patrick watched from the sidelines, as he was accustomed to doing. He wanted to rewind the night and not pull Natalie into the other room to talk. He should have just let her yell at him and then maybe he wouldn’t have put himself and Emma into another strange situation. He watched as his friends and ex-girlfriend laughed and danced to whatever Top 40 hit Emma put on next. He knew that if it was any other girl, the guys wouldn’t have been having it, but Emma was different. She always was.

He started to feel the need to drink some water and had went over to grab a bottle, when Pete nudged him and leaned in close, “Hey man, we’re gonna give you some privacy, okay?” he whispered.

Patrick straightened up quickly. “Er, yeah, sure man, that’s cool.” He then watched as Pete rounded up the other two who were now in a crazy drunken stupor. He watched as Joe and Emma made pouty faces at each other as Pete pulled him toward the bunks. He quickly grabbed another water and walked over to Emma who had collapsed on the couch. He handed her the water he had gotten for her and she hesitated slightly before taking it. He then turned the music down and changed the playlist to of his older R&B music.

“Are you trying to seduce me, Patrick Stump?” Emma said languidly, swirling her bottle of water in her hand. He could tell that her shots had gotten to her however he was glad that she was holding it better than the last time.

He laughed awkwardly and took a seat next to her. “Um, only if it’s working, then yes. If not, then no, no I’m not,” he replied.

She turned to look at him. “I’m still angry with you,” she said in a pouty voice.

He moved his hand to her face and pushed her long bangs out of her face. “I know you are,” he said, staring into her eyes. She didn’t pull her gaze from him, but instead smiled.

“You know what I can’t stop thinking about?” she murmured, her hands reaching for the ends of his shirt. He watched as her fingers lightly caressed the fabric.

“That night in the light and sound booth after the show in Phoenix?” he answered, grinning at her.

She bit her lip and made his body shiver. “Yes, that was really bad wasn’t it?”

He shook his head. “I thought it was pretty awesome.”

“We were 21. You thought everything was awesome when it came to sex back then,” she retorted, her hands slowly leaving his shirt and resting on his belt. He leaned in close to her and pressed his lips against hers. He knew it was risky, with Natalie and the guys in the other room asleep, but he knew he could never resist Emma. He slowly eased her body down onto the couch, covering it with his. She had already worked his belt and the zipper of his pants and had pulled her own jeans down. He only had to barely glance at her black lacy hip hugging panties to get aroused. His fingers grazed the flesh that peeked out from the top of them and he could feel her muscles constrict at his touch, her breath coming out in gasps.

“Emma,” he whispered, softly kissing her skin right there above her panties. “You would never have to force me to do this.” He slowly lowered her underwear and he could hear her breath coming out more ragged as his lips moved further south. He remembered the first time he realized how to truly please her. They were young and he was wholly inexperienced. He had been with a couple of other girls before Emma, but they involved intense pressure from the guys, awkward rendezvouses on the floor of the band’s shared apartment and alcohol. He never understood what sex could be like until he had met her. He glanced up at Emma and watched her face contort in ecstasy, pressing her lips together to keep from crying out. He inched up to meet her face, and pressed his lips against hers, pushing himself inside her.

“Patrick,” she gasped, grabbing the back of his shirt. The intensity of their emotions, the way their bodies moved together made quick work of Patrick and he quickly found himself collapsing on top of her, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead that rested on her chest. He felt Emma’s body move up a bit so she could lean forward and kiss the top of his head. “Do you think Roman heard us?” she murmured to him, referring to their driver, who was behind the paneling that separated him from the rest of the tour bus.

Patrick looked up at her, his eyes widening in sudden realization that Roman was close by. They both smiled and started chuckling softly. After a few seconds, Emma started to move underneath him and he got off of her, turning around to let her clean herself up. “We should probably get to bed huh?” she whispered.

Patrick kicked his boots off. “I don’t know, this was a pretty comfortable couch a few seconds ago,” he said.

She turned to look at him with a curious expression. “Patrick, if Natalie wakes up and finds you out here with me, I think Pete, Joe and Andy will never forgive you.” When he gave her a questioning look, she explained, “Because they will have to endure her screaming.” Then she slowly rested her head in his lap. “Although, this is pretty nice.”

He smiled down at her, caressing her hair slowly, humming a made up tune. He didn’t remember falling asleep, but was soon awoken by a hand petting his face. He opened his eyes and saw Pete smirking at him. “Hey sleepy head, neck hurt?”

Patrick lifted his neck, which had rested on the back of the couch. It was stiff as he cocked it from side to side. “Ugh, yeah, I can’t believe I fell asleep like that.”

Pete glanced down at his lap where Emma was laying, fast asleep. “Looks like she tired you out,” Pete said. He glanced at the bunk area. “It is like four AM though.”

“Four AM? What the hell are you doing up?” Patrick whispered harshly.

“Checking on you, dumbass. You know I’m a light sleeper and I never heard you two come to bed. You may want to though, so that Natalie doesn’t get up and see Emma laying on top of you without pants on.”

Patrick looked down at Emma’s legs and saw that she was only in her black lacy underwear. “Oh God, yeah, that would suck.”

Pete nodded. “Come on, man, let her stay there, I’ll grab her a blanket.” He walked over to one of the overhead storage compartments where they kept extra blankets and pillows.

Patrick slowly lifted her head and she shifted ever so slightly, but not enough to wake up. Pete slipped a pillow under her head and draped a blanket over her. Patrick bent down and kissed her head. “Okay, let’s go,” he said, motioning to Pete to move toward the bunks.

Pete leaned in close to him as they walked. “So I take it you apologized again?” He was smirking at Patrick, who instantly reddened. “Hey, none of my business, I just hope you cleaned up after yourselves. Some of us sit on those couches, you know.”

Patrick rolled his eyes and shut the bunk door quietly. Then he slowly crawled into his bunk bed where Natalie was sprawled out. She was a heavy sleeper, for which Patrick was grateful. He managed to get in the bed and lay down, but he was having trouble falling back asleep. All he could think about was how much he wanted to just tell Natalie everything so that she could go back to LA and he could spend the last few days he had with Emma. He knew that it was going to be especially rough when they hit Chicago and were going to see his parents, Joe’s wife and Pete’s parents. One thing he was never blind to was the fact that there were very few people that hated Emma. He admired that she was congenial to everyone and was able to quickly win over so many important people in his life, including his mother and father. He always thought it was because they just wanted him to have a real girlfriend – he was always too afraid of girls in high school – but they seemed so upset when he told them about the break up all of those years ago and did not seem entirely thrilled by the prospect of meeting Natalie. And now that he was going to be bringing both his girlfriend and ex-girlfriend back home, he couldn’t imagine what they were going to think. He always looked forward to getting back to Chicago, but this time he was dreading the entire affair.