You Kill Me

Being that the show had ended, Vic, Mike, Tony, & Jaime walked off stage & chilled out back. Vic knew that since they had just finished, Sleeping With Sirens went on next. He wanted to stay to watch Kellin do his thing, but he didn't want to be alone, so he made Jaime stay with him. Excitement quickly took over his body so he started playing with his fingernails & picking at split ends, something he did when he got excited. “Jaime oh my god, I’ve always wanted to see them on stage the past two years they’ve been a band & it’s finally happening! This is great, oh my god.”

“Vic, you’re acting like a little child on Christmas, are you okay?” Jaime teased him about his abnormal behavior. Vic just shrugged it off & leaned back in his chair as he watched Mike & Tony walk off. Setting his guitar on the ground, Vic tore of his denim vest & set it down next to his guitar. Jaime took his bass & stood it up against the wall by the steps to exit the stage, so he wouldn’t forget it.

As soon as the band got on stage, Vic stood up & ran to the sides so he had a perfect view of not only the band, but the crowd. He could see the whole thing & he was amazed by the amount of people that came here to see not only his, but Kellin’s band. He hated calling it that, but that’s what it seemed like. Everybody was all for Kellin & no attention whatsoever was paid to Jack, Gabe, Justin, & Jesse. Maybe Kellin didn’t see it, but Vic sure as hell did & he hated it. He thought every band member in every band deserved the same & equal amount of attention. Even if that consisted of one member getting a little less attention, he knew what he thought was right.

Throughout their whole set, Vic stood to the side & enjoyed what they were doing. He even snapped a couple pictures for his brother back home, whose favorite band happened to be Sleeping With Sirens. He watched as they exited the stage, & stayed just to get a picture of the crowd & how beautiful it was. With a lot of blurry picture & the exception of a decent one, Vic walked off with Jaime to their bus, to find Mike & Tony arguing over Star Wars & Harry Potter.

“Harry Potter is better, that’s why we should watch it!” Mike raised his voice at Tony, who looked quite innocent.

“Well, Harry Potter doesn’t teach you shit! It’s about a fucking wizard school; something that would never exist. Magical powers & wizards & dragons & whatever the fuck else is in this movie, isn’t real. But, in Star Wars, you learn shit, whether you use it in school or not. & it’s very hard to pick up on, but you do learn things, Mike. That’s why we should watch Star Wars,” Tony rolled his eyes & calmly spoke. Vic & Jaime weren’t surprised at all, these types of arguments always happened. Mike had always ended up winning these dumb fights & put in the next movie of the series. Vic swore he had seen each movie at least 15 to 30 times.

“Michael, you always win these fights. Give Tony what he wants for once & please, please, please let him watch Star Wars. Or, I’ll make Jaime put in Toy Story 2, your choice,” Vic chuckled as he walked back to his bunk. Jaime was sitting on the couch & received at text saying “STAR WARS!!! Good choice, dude. You got Mike to cooperate. Thank you.

Vic laughed & went to his Twitter. No latter then 5 minutes, he received a DM from Kellin, asking if he could come to their bus. Vic agreed & said yes, but left his bunk to inform everybody else. “Yo, keep it down, Kellin’s coming over & we’re chilling in the bunks. I don’t want to hear any arguing, understand?”

“Yes, Mother.” Jaime playfully teased, making the whole bus roar with laughter. Even Vic threw in a laugh, but he put on a serious face & walked off.

As he waited, he sat there & went through the cabinet in his bunk; the only piece of privacy he had. He kept his headphones in here, his special snacks, some drawing & painting utensils, his hair straightener that he only used on occasions, a couple snapbacks, & a box. If anybody had ended up going through this box or came across this box, he’d be fucked, so he keeps it in the very back, where he almost has to climb in to get it. Removing the lid, it exposed a white washcloth, with light brown, almost dark red stains. Vic left it folded & placed it next to his pillow. Next came a rubber-band ball of band-aids. As he set that on top of this washcloth, he pulled out 6 or 7 pieces of shiny metal. Some were bigger than others, but a greedy smile appeared on his face. The smile only lasted about five seconds, as he lost his focus & broke down, burying his face into his hands. Vic tried to keep his sobs silent, but he didn’t know how. He normally kept to himself & let this happen as everybody else was asleep. Everybody was such a heavy sleeper, so he didn’t have to hold in his cries. Honestly, if you had mistaken his sobs for a whale, he wouldn’t blame you. That was what he did every night. He found himself whaling.

His bunk curtains tore open to reveal a smiling Kellin. Kellin’s smile quickly faded as he saw Vic sobbing & the blades sitting next to his pillow. Climbing in, Kellin wrapped Vic up in his arms. “Shh, Vic, what’s wrong? What happened? Talk to me.”

“I-I don’t know, K-Kellin! I-I started going t-through my bunk cabinet, & t-the blades r-really got to m-me & I-I miss using t-them. T-They help so much, K-Kellin!” Vic choked on his own words as he buried his face into Kellin’s shoulder. Kellin sat there & let him cry as he rubbed circles on his back.

“Vic, it’s okay, buddy. It’s okay. I promise you, it’s okay. I don’t know how far you’ve made it because I don’t know how long you have felt like this, but you’re 24, Vic. You’re doing it. You’re making it. You can do it. I will help you get through this. I don’t want you like this. Please.” Kellin cooed.

Vic nodded into his shoulder as he picked up his head & rubbed his eyes. Kellin took his hands away from his face & wiped away his tears with his hand. Cupping his hands around his cheeks, Kellin placed a small kiss on Vic’s lips. “We’ll get through this; together.”