Yelling Through
Drown
“Alright! We got those rafts in the crowd and two people in them. On the left- Right- Fuck. We’ve got some bird that Matty picked from the crowd. And in the other raft, we’ve got my bird, Jaxx.”
I don’t know how I had gotten roped into this. All I knew was that I had at no point in my life ever been so sure that I was going to die.
“I want you to surf those rafts the whole way to the edge of the crowd and the whole way back. Can you do that?”
The crowd cheered.
“Alright in Three! Two! One! GO!”
Oli called for it, and we were off. It was exciting and terrifying. I never thought that I’d be there. Hell a couple of months prior I thought that I’d never see Oli on stage again. Despite the efforts of his family, the band and myself, Oli’s demons had taken hold of him, dragging him back into a world of destructive angry behavior. Ketamine was a huge factor, but thankfully we were able to help him want to help himself and he seemed better than ever.
Once we were back, I was set on solid ground, something that I was extremely thankful for. It didn’t last long. I was off my feet again, this time, being pulled up onto the stage, which I was extremely nervous about. It was nowhere near as bad as it had been.
The hype surrounding the movie was insane. The first real trailer had been released and fan response was amazing. This meant more publicity, more book signings and interviews and other types of craziness. Letty had taken it as her job to be my full time translator. I still did not like being in front of the masses, but I was much better at handling it.
Oli walked over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Thanks for getting her back to me,” he said into the mic.
I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled.
“This here, is Koraline,” he said. Some cheers. “And it is her birthday.” More cheers. I tried to hide my face, but he wasn’t having it. “I wrote a song for her, and she hasn’t heard it, so for her birthday, we’re gonna play it.”
Someone in the crowd started sing shouting happy birthday. “We didn’t write Happy Birthday, mate.”
“Thanks anyways.”
“She said thanks,” Oli translated. I nodded.
I was really surprised, when the song started. It didn’t sound like anything that I was used to them producing. I was even more shocked, when Oli sang.
“What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead
Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper
And I can't take one more moment of this silence
The loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up”
He walked over to me and closed his eyes.
“It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me”
He opened them and stared me straight in the eye.
“I'm not okay, and it's not alright
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?
“Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown”
He went back to performing for the crowd.
“What doesn't destroy you, leaves you broken instead.
Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper
And I can't take one more moment of this silence
The loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up
“It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me
I'm not okay, and it's not alright
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?
“Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown”
He returned to me, and pulled me towards the center of the stage, and sang to me again.
“'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
“Who will fix me now?
Who will fix me now?
Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown”
He dropped to his knee, as he finished the song, reaching in his back pocket.
My eyes, grew to the size of saucers, when he pulled out a small black velvet box.
“Koraline Anne Jaxx, will you marry me?” he asked.
Not that I never thought of it, but us getting married wasn’t high up on my list of possible birthday outcomes. After all, marriage wasn’t something that I was obsessed with and I didn’t even know that it was something that Oli was even keen on.
“Yes,” I whispered.
He smiled a smile that looked almost painful. The crowd cheered, and the boys acted obnoxiously, when he slid the ring on my finger. The second it was on, I practically launched myself at him, kissing him.
“I love you Koraline.”
“I love you Oli.”
I don’t know how I had gotten roped into this. All I knew was that I had at no point in my life ever been so sure that I was going to die.
“I want you to surf those rafts the whole way to the edge of the crowd and the whole way back. Can you do that?”
The crowd cheered.
“Alright in Three! Two! One! GO!”
Oli called for it, and we were off. It was exciting and terrifying. I never thought that I’d be there. Hell a couple of months prior I thought that I’d never see Oli on stage again. Despite the efforts of his family, the band and myself, Oli’s demons had taken hold of him, dragging him back into a world of destructive angry behavior. Ketamine was a huge factor, but thankfully we were able to help him want to help himself and he seemed better than ever.
Once we were back, I was set on solid ground, something that I was extremely thankful for. It didn’t last long. I was off my feet again, this time, being pulled up onto the stage, which I was extremely nervous about. It was nowhere near as bad as it had been.
The hype surrounding the movie was insane. The first real trailer had been released and fan response was amazing. This meant more publicity, more book signings and interviews and other types of craziness. Letty had taken it as her job to be my full time translator. I still did not like being in front of the masses, but I was much better at handling it.
Oli walked over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Thanks for getting her back to me,” he said into the mic.
I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled.
“This here, is Koraline,” he said. Some cheers. “And it is her birthday.” More cheers. I tried to hide my face, but he wasn’t having it. “I wrote a song for her, and she hasn’t heard it, so for her birthday, we’re gonna play it.”
Someone in the crowd started sing shouting happy birthday. “We didn’t write Happy Birthday, mate.”
“Thanks anyways.”
“She said thanks,” Oli translated. I nodded.
I was really surprised, when the song started. It didn’t sound like anything that I was used to them producing. I was even more shocked, when Oli sang.
“What doesn't kill you makes you wish you were dead
Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper
And I can't take one more moment of this silence
The loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up”
He walked over to me and closed his eyes.
“It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me”
He opened them and stared me straight in the eye.
“I'm not okay, and it's not alright
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?
“Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown”
He went back to performing for the crowd.
“What doesn't destroy you, leaves you broken instead.
Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper
And I can't take one more moment of this silence
The loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world's getting harder to hold up
“It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me
I'm not okay, and it's not alright
Won't you drag the lake and bring me home again?
“Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown”
He returned to me, and pulled me towards the center of the stage, and sang to me again.
“'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
'Cause you know that I can't do this on my own
“Who will fix me now?
Who will fix me now?
Who will fix me now? Dive in when I'm down?
Save me from myself, don't let me drown”
He dropped to his knee, as he finished the song, reaching in his back pocket.
My eyes, grew to the size of saucers, when he pulled out a small black velvet box.
“Koraline Anne Jaxx, will you marry me?” he asked.
Not that I never thought of it, but us getting married wasn’t high up on my list of possible birthday outcomes. After all, marriage wasn’t something that I was obsessed with and I didn’t even know that it was something that Oli was even keen on.
“Yes,” I whispered.
He smiled a smile that looked almost painful. The crowd cheered, and the boys acted obnoxiously, when he slid the ring on my finger. The second it was on, I practically launched myself at him, kissing him.
“I love you Koraline.”
“I love you Oli.”
♠ ♠ ♠
And one more and that's it people.