Forever and Goodbye

Callie took my hand gingerly into hers as we stepped out of our taxi. It had only been around 20 minutes since we had finished our respective cigarettes, called this mysterious Jake character, and called this disgusting excuse for a cab. I have to say, inhaling my first lung full of this clear, country air was bliss to me; especially after that unending drive: the taxi had smelled of strong alcohol splattered with old vomit, sweat, and of course, the ever present, nauseating smell of lived-in cigarette smoke. The driver himself did not look much better than the anonymous stains littering the beige seats, which surprised me. This sad old man with dull brown hair and sullen eyes did not seem to fit in at all in this peaceful town.
Everyone I had encountered so far had been near pristine; the kind of people you would associate with church, actually. Even the clerks at the bus station seemed too kind: none of them had one single hair out of place, nor a hitch in their smiles as they ogled at Callie's hand holding mine. Yet that was the hitch; they gazed after Callie and I as if they were witnessing one of nature's rare spectacles. Hadn't they ever seen a lesbian couple before? My best guess was a probably not; but I was grateful I hadn't spotted any "death to gays" glares yet, which proved they had to be a smidgen polite.

"This is it. Apartment 2B." Callie now said matter-of-factly as she buzzed to Jake's apartment.
"Who is it?" Came a gruff voice, which Callie promptly responded with her name. Jake immediately let us in, and we walked the rest of the way in deathly silence. It was a shabby apartment building, yet somehow kept nice and clean, just like the rest of the town and it's inhabitants, save that one disgruntled taxi driver. (Ew).
I kept taking side glances at my girlfriend, wondering how she sustained her unusually happy grin on her face. Maybe Jake and her had had some sort of history? That would be impossible, right?. In my knowledge, she had always been as "queer as a three dollar bill", as some would put it. And yet here she was, her grin splitting even more widely as we laid eyes on 2B's open door, and the boy who leaned into the door frame, waiting.
"Jake." She cooed, rushing past me and into his arms, squeezing his skinny frame tightly. He promptly returned the hug, chuckling lightly to himself.
Jake seemed to be in his early 20's, although with his baggy black sweatshirt, an exact age would have been hard to pin. He had dark chocolate hair which fell down into his eyes in tangles, yet nonetheless managing to curl at the bottom. He was wearing your normal everyday guy jeans, slightly sagging to reveal what seemed to be bright red silk boxers.
Any female (or gay guy) who had functioning eyes could tell you that beneath his shabby appearance and the black rings beneath his eyes, Jake had serious potential to be quite the fetcher. His high cheekbones and coffee-with-tons-of-milk complexion matched perfectly with his dark, mysterious eyes; and of course his lip piercing. What kind of girl didn't enjoy the casual rebellious type? Let's be honest, he was attractive, but not for me... Although Callie seemed to fancy him just fine.

My stipulations were shortly lived, however, as Callie and Jake unhooked from each other and turned to me. Jake then spoke to me for the first time: he had one of those deep gruff voices with an underlying velvet rhythm to it; not alike a vanilla cappuccino on a cold, rainy day.
"So, you must be Tara. I'm Jakob, but call me Jake." He smiled and turned to walk into his apartment. "Welcome to my crib."

As we began our perilous trek through Jakob's place, which was trying to avoid either bumping into his knee-high stacks of books or stepping on his dirty laundry (which covered about 95% of the floor), Callie grabbed my hand and read my mind once more.
"Me and Jake met in junior high. We were pretty tight 'till this little dipshit-" She punched his arm teasingly, "-dropped out and moved into the middle of fucking nowhere."
He simply laughed and threw himself onto a battered-looking sofa.
"Look whose talkin', you didn't even stick it out through grade 11; at least I made it to 12."
Callie, pretending to fake offense grabbed at her chest and painted a pout onto her milky face:
"That hurts!! Kiss it better, you dick; and by that I mean apologize..." she added hesitantly as she glanced in my direction.

Their playful banter continued as I stood silently by a dark blue wall. Everything in this apartment was everywhere: towels and clothes on the floor, joined by books and plates empty of food. Ashtrays littered the coffee table in his living room, in which sat old cigarette butts and a roach or two. His kitchen was the only thing that was semi-clean, although I could see a few empty KD boxes lying on the counters. He seemed to live a comfortable life, for a guy living alone since high school, that is.

As I was inspecting Jake's odd little living room, (complete with a TV, an Xbox, a PS3 and a bunch of toppled-over games), I caught a movement in my peripheral vision: a door was opening, giving a look into a small bathroom, and the half naked boy coming out of it.
At once Callie and Jake's banter, which I had successfully blocked out, stopped, and silence reigned for a moment. All eyes stayed glued on the man who was now gawking at us incredulously. Or mainly at Callie, I should say.
His upper body was uncovered, leaving me to explore the curves of his lean muscles with my wondering eyes. He had fair skin and a piercing gaze I could feel pass onto my face as he accessed the newcomers. He was tall, standing around 6 feet, and had traces of stubble beginning to grow running from his prominent jaw line down to his chin. He was gorgeous.
"Well, this is awkward," he drawled, his voice like melted chocolate. His hair was covered by a light-green towel, and so was most of is lower body, thank god, but he shied away slightly under our intense gazes: cute, yet unnecessary; we were all attracted to women in this room... Right?

The two things I did notice, however, other than his stunning hot bod, of course, was Jake and Callie's reactions to his rather odd entrance. Jake was already lighting a cigarette, his face completely blank with indifference at this mystery guy showering inside his bathroom. He didn't seem to realize he had forgotten to mention we were not his only guests.
Callie, on the other hand, was seething. She had not moved nor said a word since 'he' had opened the door. She had just stood there, glaring, her gently eyes putrid with hatred.
And there I was just standing in the middle of the crossfire like a total ignoramus. I had absolutely no idea how to react; Nor how to avert my eyes from his annoyingly attractive six pack.

We stood a few more moments, as if frozen in space, until Callie whipped her head in Jake's direction, breathed the words: "Jake. Outside. NOW.", gave me an absent minded kiss on the cheek, and half ran out of the building, with Jakob on her heels; sighing.
Mr. Hotty finally decided the ice had thawed the moment Callie had left the room, since he shrugged his shoulders in my direction, walked down the hall and disappeared into another room; so I was left wondering why in hell I was always the one out of the loop, and why this naked man had fazed Callie; the girl who always seemed indestructible. What had happened with this boy that made her so uncomfortable?
In this moment, I sat resiliently unto Jake's old sofa, and realized how little I knew of Callie's past, or how ignorant I was of her life outside of our relationship. Callie had always dodged every question and avoided every opportunity to share her life with me; no matter how many times I pried, her wall had never broke down.
What was she keeping from me?
Was she cheating on me?
Did she once love this gorgeous young boy, and was that why she was so angry?

The moment right after my realization, I came to the conclusion that like every other personal aspect of her life; the answers to my questions would never be voiced aloud. At least, not from Callie.