Didn't Mean It

I woke up with the sun hitting half of my face. I was naked. I'm so fucken stupid! How I let him have sex with me? I turned to my side. I thought Justin would be there but he wasn't. I wrapped the sheets around me and got up. I started walking downstairs when I saw him putting his shoes on.

"Hello Lily," he said.

"You're leaving..." I said watching him halfway down the stairs.

"Yeah, I need to get to work," he said putting his tie on and loosening it.

"You're leaving just like that? You get what you want and then leave?" I asked.

"Please don't bitch at me," he said.

"I'm not-"

"Go upstairs and get some sleep you look like a big mess," he said opening the door and leaving.

My jaw dropped. I sat down on the step and started crying. After I calmed myself down I walked upstairs to get dressed. The bruise on my face was still pretty noticable. A few hours later I was going to make dinner for myself so I walked downstairs and then heard the door open. I watched Justin as he walked in with a girl following him. I had a confused look on my face, "Who's this?"

"Oh Lily, this is Samantha. She'll be staying over for a couple of hours. Make dinner for us," he said.

"Uh, fuck that make it your damn self," I said grabbing my purse and leaving. I had Justins extra key to his car so I just grabbed his car and left. I drove for a while then I got to work. I put my sunglasses on and walked in the managers office.

"Oh Lily glad you're back," he said.

"Um actually, I need some more time, I'm having serious problems," I said.

"One more week thats it!" He said.

I walked out and found Josh sitting down on his phone.

"Lily!" He said.

"Hi Josh," I responded.

"What's wrong with you? I'm really worried about you," he said.

"I'm just having some problems at home," I said looking down.

He took my sunglasses of all of a sudden. I didn't even get a chance to stop him. His jaw dropped... He stared at me for the longest amount of time. "What happened to you?" He asked.

"I-I My... My boyfriend... He-he...," I stuttered to get the words out.

"Go to cops before it gets worse..." He said.

I looked down then up at him, "I can't he'll bail himself out and then come after me again..." I noticed that about 10 feet behind him a grey car was parked, I saw Justin inside it.

"Lily do something about it," he said putting his hand on my cheek.

"Don't touch me! He's watching us... I better go before he gets mad," I said as I ran off to the car. I quickly started the engine and drove away. I started crying knowing what he would do to me. I finally drove up to my driveway. I started wiping my tears away when all of the sudden someone banged on the window. I jumped and saw it was Justin.

"Open the door!" He yelled trying to open it. I unlocked it and opened the door. He grabbed me and pulled me out. He tightened his grip around my wrist and pulled me inside the house.

My heart started beating faster and faster. He let go of me and walked to the couch. I felt my whole body start to shake. Justin had a really pissed off look on his face. He walked back towards me. I started walking backwards but bumped into the wall.

Justin shoved me on the wall, "Do you want me to hit you!?"

"No! No," I said as I shaked my head.

"Then why don't you listen!" He said banging the wall next to my face. I blinked and turned away. He pulled my face towards him. "I told you not talk to him!" He slapped me hard across the face.

"Sorry I didn't mean to talk to him, I'm so sorry!" I said.

He walked away into the kitchen. I slid down against the wall until I hit the floor. I brought my knees towards me, hugged them, and started crying.
After a while I heard Justin walk up to me. I looked up at him, "Don't hurt me..."

He bent down and asked, "When was the last time you ate?"

"Yesterday..." I responded.

"You're fucken pale, you need to eat," he said grabbing my arm and lifting me up. He pulled me into the kitchen and sat me down at the table. I watched him as he grabbed a plate and placed the food he cooked on it. He had cooked some spagetti. I stared at it for a while. "EAT!" He yelled.

I grabbed the fork and wrapped the spagetti on it then ate it. He watched me with his hands on the table. After I finished he grabbed my plate and washed it. He walked over to me and rolled his sleeves up. I was ready to feel a grab, punch, or slap. But instead he just stared at me. I was confused but I didn't dare look him in the eye.

"Come on, lets go upstairs," he said gently grabbing my hand. I got up and followed him upstairs. "You're covered in sweat... It's disgusting." He pulled me in the bathroom and demanded, "Take your clothes off."

"What?" I asked.

"NOW!"

I started taking my clothes off and at the same time I started shaking again. Once all my clothes were off I covered up my chest with my arms. He reached behind me and turned the water on in the bath tub. The bathtub was filled up.

"Get in," he demanded. I got in and sat down. He pulled a chair over and sat next to the bathtub. In his hand was a sponge. He filled the sponge with water and soap then started washing me up. He brushed the sponge up and down my back and around my neck. "Bend back so I can wash your hair," he said. I did what I was told. After he finished he got up and grabbed a towel. I got up and he wrapped the towel around me. He took my hand and helped me get out, "Put some clothes on, I'll be outside."

I was relieved. The warm water had calmed my nerves down. I got dressed then combed my hair and walked out. Justin was sitting on the edge of the bed with the bed undone and the tv on. I swallowed hard and walked over to him. I really wanted to ask him why he was doing this if just an hour ago he wanted to beat me up. But I just stared at him and never asked him. I sat next to him.

"Lay back."

Being obidient, I laid back and rested my head on the pillow. Justin placed the covers over me and leaned in. I closed my eyes. Then felt his soft lips press against my forehead. I opened them and looked into his eyes, he smiled then walked towards the door. "Wait! Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'll be back later, get some sleep."

That's all he said before he closed the door and left. I turned on my side. I thought of all the reasons why he would be doing this. Why he would be hitting me, then why he would comfort me. I fell asleep trying to solve this.