Cougar

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PRESENT DAY
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“And now to the English hallway where Bradley got to have a talk with our new English teacher. Over to you, Bradley.”

It was gonna be weird seeing myself on the morning announcements. The room full of students giggled as I dropped my head into my hands.

Here we go.

The screen transitioned to a clip of a high school student, Bradley Stapleton, a microphone is his hand, several sheets of questions hidden from view. At his side sat a now twenty-one year old newbie English teacher, his first day on the job; my face began to heat up.

God. I looked like an idiot. I wanted to punch myself in the face repeatedly.

More giggles were let out. I shot them all a glare. All that did was make them laugh again.

“I determine what your grades are,” I reminded them snootily. They laughed once more, proving my tactic to be one of a failure.

We turned back to the SmartBoard at the sound of Bradley’s overly-enthusiastic voice.

“Thanks, Collin,” his pre-recorded response was. “As you can see,” - he motioned briefly to me - “I am sitting here with a new addition to our Trojan family, Mr. Williams.” He gave me a big smile, which I awkwardly returned.

“Oh, hey,” I said back in a bogus ‘feminine’ tone. The class laughed at my dumbass again. Bradley went on with his interview questions.

“Now, this is your first year teaching - what exactly made you want to be a teacher?”

On the screen, I shrugged after a sigh. “If I’m honest - I had a pretty hot English teacher in fourth grade, Ms Dune,” - laughs and murmurs of understatement fled the room. Video-me started to laugh as well. “And - oh God, I tried to impress her by going on about how my dream was to be a teacher when I grew up - preferably an English teacher. I mean, I didn’t really want to, but I wanted her to like me. Then growin' up, I had some crap teachers - not all, granted, but most, and I remember thinkin' to myself all the time that if - by some twist of fate - I wind up being a teacher, I knew I didn’t want to be a downer. Like, I had this one teacher that would jump down your throat and humiliate you if you had a question, and if you were having an off day and didn’t want to participate or someth'n, she’d rip you a new one and I always thought that was dumb. So…yeah.”

Like…

So…yeah…

Great way to show why I took a year to go to the Teaching Academy and then shoved off to complete one year of a career centre and two more years uni.

I sat there picking apart everything about me that stood out on that huge screen. One being my stupid accent. I sounded like a bogan that shot right up out of the Crocodile Dundee with Steve Irwin following close behind.

It's rough. But I'm a proud Aussie...that's now a fish outta water in the US of A.

My eyes observed next the long, raised scar on the right side of my face. It went from the corner of my mouth going several inches back, took a few leaps, leaving smooth skin only to pick up crudely for half an inch with intent to curve all the way to my ear.

My jaw hurt just thinking back to how it happened.

Ah, don't be a little bitch.

I dismissed the horrid memory, trying to focus on the announcements. And I did focus, but I didn’t like listening to my dumb answers to Bradley’s questions. I looked at my eyes, the left being grey and the right blue. Just a slight difference between the two shades of colour; the time of day affected how noticeable.

Man. I have a unique face. You could definitely tell me apart from my brother and sister.

I wondered what Ally was thinking, watching the broadcast in her classroom. She’ll have a field day when I see her next.

Bradley’s voice got my attention when he said, “I heard you’re not the only new teacher we have this year.”

Immediately knowing what he meant, I had laughed.

“Oh, is that right?”

Bradley matched my laugh. “Yep. I heard you know her pretty well - oh,” he smiled, looking off camera. I followed his gaze.

The black bob of hair, slunk into a ponytail, was visible before she was.

My sister, Ellie, pranced in front of the camera, leaning on the wall between us, her huge smile stuck on her face. “Well, hello, everyone!” she chirped out, her voice going gruff. “What do we have here? An interview, yeah? Why wasn’t I invited?”

“You’ll get your chance!” I grumbled at her. “This my time to shine, princess. Get stuffed, won’t you?”

“Get stuffed?” she repeated with a loud laugh. “You can’t go saying things like that, Tyler. It’s not school appropriate.” A lot more appropriate than what I had to bit my tongue to not say.

'Fuck off.'

“You’re not school appropriate,” was my witty retort. “And that’s Mr. Williams to you, El. Get it right.” Her hand lurched forward to ruffle my hair but I grabbed it before she could. Bradley interrupted us with a laugh.

“You both have the same last name - do people ever think you’re married?”

“Oh, all the time,” we confirmed together.

“Which is insulting,” I went on. “You ever think I’d marry a...gem...like that?”

Ellie’s jaw dropped in fake betrayal. “Hey, you got my mug, Mr. Williams. Twinsies, have you forgotten?”

“No, because you won’t let me.”

“Would you rather I blabbed on about me being the eldest?” She got close the camera. “Which I am, by the way, no matter what he says.”

“By eighteen seconds!” I wailed.

“By eighteen seconds,” she repeated in a told-ya-so tone.

“The most blissful eighteen second of my life,” I said, giving her a look. Present-me sat there in shock that they actually kept this bit in. What good was it to them? Us looking like dips?

I guess to show you, readers, my very flawed personality and overall idiotic self.

My room full of students were laughing their heads off. Better, I guess, than them sitting there stone-faced.

I had done a reenactment of me sitting in the womb as a mere fetus, arms crossed behind my head in a rather blasé pose. “Oi,” I nodded to my right at no one in particular. “About time, right? I thought she’d never leave -…” My face dropped in confusion. “Wait, what do you mean, ‘I’m next’?”

Ellie’s laugh rang out louder than Bradley’s or the room of adolescents.

“Is that why you looked so angry?” she giggled. I laughed, too, getting what she meant. Ellie decided to tell the story. “Our mum would always say he came out of the womb looking peeved off - ”

I interjected. “And I’m like, ‘You know what, I probably was.’ - I was the fastest sperm for this? Let me go back!” They all laughed again. Without thinking, I added, “That explains my teen years - ‘Can one of these get me back home?”

Ellie was dying of laughter. After that joke, I really wondered why they kept this in.

“Well,” Bradley concluded, “there you have it, folks. We got ourselves a couple oddballs added to our Trojan family this year. As Mr. Overla would say, ‘Treat them as our own; we’re all going to be Forever Troy.” He paused to give Ellie and I both a handshake. He tipped a nod back at the camera with a big smile. “Have a great day, THS. Stay Classy, Never Trashy. Back to you, Collin.”

Collin took back over with, “Thank you, Bradley. And for lunch today, we’ll be having taco wedges, California vegetables, diner roll, and milk. Please stand for the pledge...”

-

I padded my way up the stairs after third period, my free period, to the foreign languages hallway. I passed by two Spanish classrooms - both had classes going on in them - before reaching the one I cared about most - French. I rounded into the room of Miss Allyson McClain’s.

She stood at the head of the room, hand gesturing to the big dry eraser board stuck on the wall. When I strolled in, she stopped mid-sentence about how she’ll write out on the board when homework’s due every morning to smile at me warmly.

I returned the radiant smile with an addition of a wave.

“Well, good morning, Ty - Mr. Williams.”

“Same to you, McClain,” I said back, giving her a patronising smirk. She turned momentarily to the students sitting in the desks.

“That’s basically all for now. Get your parents to sign the Cheating Policy. I’d like that back by next Monday, if you could.” She glanced up at the digital clock. Its red font blinked: 9:50. “You have the rest of the class period to talk - quietly, though, please.”

Whatta a cutie. Thinking they'll listen to her. Going against her wishes, their loud voices erupted into about twenty conversations.

She popped a smile at me, pulling at her hands. Tipping a nod over to her desk, which sat several feet over by the window, she said in that wonderful American accent - or more rightfully Canadian - “Whattcha need? Just came to see me?” And since I did, I nodded, making my way passed her to her swivel chair.

“And I’ll sit here, if you don’t mind.”

“Well, of course I don’t,” she laughed, following me. “It’s not like that chair’s been my heart and soul for the past three or four years.”

“Good,” I chimed relieved. “Hate to break you two lovers apart.”

She pulled an empty chair from a desk over to sit in. “Thanks for pretending to care. It’s sweet - how do you like this...whole thang so far?”

I shrugged, giving her my honest thought. “It’s alright,” I summed up fairly. “Mornin' classes are dead, as expected, but somewhat responsive. That’s always nice. They had a fit over the announcements this mornin'.”

“Yeah?” she began laughing. “You and Ellie are so ridiculous. It’s a wonder I’m even talking to you in public.”

“And for that I thank you,” I impersonated Tosh, putting my hands up to applaud her. She bowed in her seat, her blonde hair lighting like fire every time she moved and it caught the rays of the sun that peeked through the open windows.

“You coming over today?” I asked when she finished accepting my praise.

“Wasn’t planning on it,” she smirked, titling her head to the side slightly. “Did you want me to or something?”

“No, not at all,” I sent her back her smirk. “It’s not like we’ve been hanging out every day since summer started. It’d be weird to have you at my flat. Absurd, really." Eh, we've been st each others heels for much longer than the past three months, but it's a cover-up, you see, for the little freshies sitting in the room with us.

We held a smiling contest before she shrugged.

“Well, you are my ride home, after all,” she trailed considerably. “Yeah, I’ll be over - we’re gonna need to stop by my house, though. I reckon I’m in need of a new set of clothes.”

“Got it.”

We spent the rest of the thirty-odd minutes sitting at her desk, talking. I thought back vaguely to every day of my senior year here in this dinky little state. Before the bell rang and even after school let out at 2:35pm, I was sitting in this room, revelling to Ally about anything that was bothering me or what was making my day. She’d sit and listen, soon making her one of my best friends.

*

I must’ve been sixteen, fifteen at the time; her twenty-two. It was her first year of teaching and my first day in this high school.

I was walking around with my older sister - Ellie - and younger brother - Damien. He's my twin brother, in case you're wondering.

“I have Tussing for Spanish,” Ellie announced to us as we passed by the first room you come in contact with upon reaching the top of the staircase.

“So do I,” Damien grinned at her. “Should we go say…hi or something?” he asked, laughing briefly. Ellie’s and I’s laughs were anything but brief.

“Don’t be a dill,” I teased. “I have to find my classes, too -” There was a very long and weird beep that came over the intercom, and we all looked at each other in confusion. We waited for a voice to come on next, but there wasn’t one. “Does that mean something?” I asked, despite knowing they probably had no idea as well.

Ellie shrugged, starting to say something, but we noticed that all the students jam-packed in this hallway were starting to disperse, some heading into the four rooms located right around us. A thought dawned on me as I popped into a random room with a blonde women standing over by the windows to look up at the clock.

“7:35,” I read aloud. I looked at them. “What time does school start?” Earning a collective shrug as a response, I turned back inside the room. “Uh, Miss?” I directed at blondie. She looked away from the hole punch she was holding to stare at me.

“Yes?”

“What time is school startin'?”

She motioned to the clock. “Forty after - about five minutes.”

Five minutes. I started to freak out. I don’t know where any of my classes are, and school starts in five minutes. I mean, I know slightly which section each is located in, but not the exact room.

I could already tell today was going to be hell.

I threw out a quick thanks. Ellie and Damien stood antsy, the anticipation getting to them. Ellie departed us with, “We should get going - I’ll see you in lesson five,” she said to me. We hugged quickly, and then her and Damien ran off in opposite directions.

I stared them both down in disbelief. I think they forgot I had no idea where any of my classes are. We only had time to get through all theirs. Not knowing what to do, I stood in the doorway of Ms Blondie’s room.

“Are you alright?” a female voice asked, causing me to jump. I turned and saw blondie. I hoped she wasn’t a teacher, though she probably was. She was hot.

“I’m new,” I explained sheepishly.

“Oh.” She stuck her hand out for mine. I took it and we shook them. “Well, welcome to THS - home of the Trojans. Do you need help finding your first class?” she asked helpfully. I nodded, thinking about the clock. I won’t make it in time.

“All of them, actually.”

“Oh,” she said again, this time more rushed. “What do you have?”

“French 1 is my first.”

A smile grew on her face. “You’re in luck." She gestured into the room. “I’m the French teacher - the only French teacher." Wow, some luck. "You must be Tyler, right?” I nodded, following her as she stepped through the doorway. “I’m Ms McClain.”

Ms, I thought. That’s the one that means she’s not married, right? I wondered if she had a boyfriend. Or girlfriend. No h8, m8.

Pfft - she’s a teacher. She’s going to be my teacher and I want to root with that.

Wow. But not all that shocking considering some info I'll be telling you soon that may or may not dictate this stories plot-line.

Keeping my eyes away from her butt, I waited for her to turn around and tell me where to sit. When we stepped in, several people stopped talking and looked our direction. I could feel my face get warm.

I hate when people look at me. And there’s only one thing they were possibly looking at on me - that big scar out in the open for all to gawk at. I dropped my head down to gaze at the ground, hoping they’d stop leering.

Ms McClain stood with me at her side, eyes searching around the room. Finding an open chair in the first row, second column, she pointing her finger to it. “For now, you can sit there.” I nodded, making my way over when she started asking questions. First she said, “Everyone, we have a new student. His name is Tyler.”

Scattered ‘hi’s and ‘hello’s.

I pushed out a smile, pulling the empty seat out, dropping into it. She continued.

“So, Tyler, where’re you from?”

“Oregon,” I told her. She looked at me strangely.

“Oregon?” she repeated with a small laugh. “Originally,” she clarified after I nodded. I made the ‘Oh, duh’ face.

“Australia. Ah - Victoria.”

That got me a number of ‘aww’s from quite a few babes. Uhm, what’s so cute about that? It’s just another continent like North America.

It’s probably the accent. I'm just the total cliche, aren't I?

Wait...America's...a continent, right...?

MaDAMNmoiselle was nodding to my spoken response.

“That makes more sense," she had laughed. "You’re a few weeks late getting here. School started weeks ago.”

“I know, I know,” I said understandably as she moved over to her desk. It was near the windows at the front of the room. “It took us a while longer to get here than we thought it would.”

“Why did you move exactly?”

My throat tightened. I didn’t want to talk about that.

“Fresh start,” I shortened the real answer. I added, “Dad got a new girlfriend ages back and it’s been her dream to move here - for some reason.” Laughs spread around the room. Miss McClain showed a smile.

“That is a mystery, isn’t it?” She had gotten out a binder filled heaps with papers. She cranked it open to a marked section. Humming to herself, she flipped through them. “And here you go - you’ll need these,” she said, pulling out about four sheets of color coded papers. She walked over to where I was to hand them to me. “It’s all just some basic grammar sheets and vocab. If you got time after class, or maybe in the mornings or after school, stop by and I’ll talk to you about them.”

“Alright.” I took them from her, nodding again.

She went to stand at the front of the room. “Alright, so today, we’re going to touch bases with the violette vocab paper - the purple one, so if you all could get that out…"

-

Once the bell finally rung at 2:35, the entire school fled from their classrooms, eager to get the hell out of here. I not being one of them.

Instead of heading for the bus, I went for room 276, the French room. Hitting send on my text to Ellie, telling her why I was staying after school, I looked up and saw Ms McClain erasing blue marker from the whiteboard.

I waited for the last two students in the room to exit before entering. She must’ve saw me out of the corner of her eye, because I didn’t even say anything and she had turned her head to me.

I said awkwardly, “Hi.”

But she smiled nicely. “Hello, Tyler - you can pull up a chair to my desk.” I did as she said with a nod, picking the chair up so I didn’t have to listen to it scrape its way there. She came over and joined me while I pulled my French folder from my drawstring backpack.

I would go into detail about this bit, but the author is taking Spanish as of now, not French so she’s doesn’t know anything about the matter.

Occasionally, McClain would ask me questions about my life; what Australia was like, and how I liked the states so far. Little things like that.

Though I had been asked those questions all day, I didn’t mind repeating my answers to her. She seemed genuinely curious, not forced to pretend like she cared even the slightest like everyone else who asked.

She tutored me - I guess I could say - for about twenty minutes.

If I had known this was the start to our weird relationship, oh man. I’d be dying laughin'. Her sincere attempt at making me feel welcomed to this school would be the catalyst to the rest of lives.

Fuckin' weird, man.

-

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PRESENT DAY
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What woke me the next morning was my hand falling onto the bed. I peeked my eyes open to see Ally stretching as she sat up. She bit back a yawn and instantly laid back down, pulling the blanket over her again.

I closed my eyes, hearing my dog also yawn but right into my ear as her head was directly on top of mine. I sleepily moved my hand to pet the huge Alaskan Malamute I called Baby, unfortunately getting her to lick my ear.

I swatted at her to stop that and she went on to lick my hand.

I blinked when Ally yawned again, turning on her side to face me. As a good morning, she patted the side of my face, causing Baby to shift her head off mine. Ally opened her mouth but it wasn’t her voice that came out.

After a strum of a guitar came:

Well, the night get old so I’m back again
The day just started ‘cause I’m up with my old friends
A fat smoke and a funny joke
Sitting like a sponge, letting everything soak and I ...

My ears rang at how loud it sounded to exhausted me and I slid the lock bar on my iPod to dismiss the alarm.

I started to close my eyes when Ally sat, patting my leg.

She added lovingly, “Get up, butt-munch.”

I groaned at her. I watched her walk in the semi-dark room to the door, pulling it open. She stopped by the hall closet to pull out a towel in advance to entering the bathroom. Flicking on the bathroom lights, I realised she was naked.

All I got was a look at her bum before she pulled the door shut.

Eh. Oh well. I’ve seen the front half loads of times.

I rolled over, my back facing the now open bedroom door. Baby whined, gently poking me with her nose, meaning she wanted me to snuggle her. I lifted my arm and she dropped her head under it. Her tail wagged when I scratched behind her ears.

The next five minutes were blissfully silent; the only sound was the water running as Ally took her usual morning shower. And then a blood curdling scream.

My heartbeat shook me out of fatigue and I sat up quickly. Another scream and I knew it was Ally’s. I jumped up, jogging to the bathroom door. Baby followed, her head low, a growl coming from her throat.

Her bark belted out as I knocked once on the closed door.

“Uhm, Al?” I called over the loud roar of falling water.

She sort of laughed out, “Help me - oh no.”

Thinking the worst, I threw open the door, and then the curtains to find Ally sitting with her legs crossed in the bath. She was gripping her hand to her chest and I noticed the stream of red coming from it.

“What the bleep happened?” I asked her somewhat bewildered, shutting off the water. Baby had stopped growling when she realised no one was in here hurting Ally.

She tried to laugh. “I was shaving.” I saw the shaving razor near the shower drain.

“Your finger?”

She took my hand when I held it out for her and she stepped out of the tub.

“No. I dropped the razor and it hit my finger on the way down. Fuck - it hurts so bad.”

“Well, that’s what you get for being an idiot,” I smiled at her giving her a towel to try and stop the bleeding.

It soon did and we got ready to leave by 6:30. In the morning, need I stress.

Alright, alright. I guess I’ll point out the white elephant in the room - and by white elephant I obviously mean the ginormous dog. She’s cute, right?

..Okay, yeah…Ally…we’re pretty good friends. Like - oh, what do they call them? - friends with benefits? Yeah. That.

How’d that happen? You want to know in detail? Well, hold your horses. We’ll get there eventually.

:P