Suffocation.

I stretched out in the bed to find it cold. Graham had fallen asleep in my bed just as I fell asleep in his bed the night before. And now he isn't here, just like I wasn't when he woke up. My head protests as I sit up but I ignore it, the curtain to the patio has been pushed back. I wrap the bed sheet around me then venture outside.

It's bright outside, too bright for my liking, and the birds are chirping and I hear someone on what I assume is a business call a few floors above me. Graham is sitting at the patio table, packet of cigarettes and a lighter sat in front of him on the table, a single cigarette dangles in between his lips as Graham gives me an awkward smile.

"Morning," I say, gripping the sheet tighter around me.

"Sleep well?" he asks.

"Well enough, you?"

"I slept well."

We nod at each other and the awkward silence consumes us. In my head I try to come up with ways on how to approach everything that happened last night; the kissing and the intimate moment of showing him my scars. I didn't know what to say or where to begin. I've never been good with displaying what I am thinking, or how I feel.

"When's the flight?" Graham asks suddenly breaking me out of my own thoughts.

"We need to be at the airport at noon but check out is at ten," I inform him.

"We should probably start getting ready then. Do you want any breakfast?"

I shake my head no. "I'm just going to take a shower."

"It won't take me long to get ready so I'll come back here when I'm done."

I tell Graham to take my key so he can let himself in case I was still in the shower before he leaves. I wait until he's gone to dig in the bottom of my bad for the pain medication at the bottom of my bag. I only had four left until I could consult with Doctor Childers about refilling my prescription and that was at the end of the week.

I try not to think about that much as I turn on the shower and step in, allowing the cool water flow over my body. I prefer cold showers over hot ones, they wake me up.

I had just pulled my Nirvana down my torso when Graham opened the door. We stared at each other for a few moments as I watched his face turn a pale shade for pink under his growing scruff. I stand there in nothing but a tee shirt and though I've never been embarrassed about my body, I couldn't help but want to melt into the carpet.

"Uh," Graham quickly turned around allowing me to slip into the black leggings that I had set out on the bed. "Sorry."

"You can turn around," I tell him as I shrug into the cardigan that I wore here and slid into the same shoes.

He turns around but waits in the corner of the room as he watched me fold my clothes and stuff them back into my large tote carry-on. Once I'm done, I grab my crutches while Graham takes the bag and opens the door.

We check out quickly, handing our keys over the same receptionist that checked us on, before heading to the rental car.

"Do you want to get something to eat before we get on the highway?" Graham asks as he starts the engine.

"Sure, there's a McDonald's just down the street," I offer him.

We decide to eat inside because it's only thirty minutes after nine and we have time to kill until the car needs to be back and we need to be at the airport. There aren't many people in the dining area but a line is forming at the counter. We are both silent as we eat our breakfast. I got a fruit and yogurt parfait and a bottle of water while Graham got what they call the Big Breakfast. I didn't understand how Graham could possibly eat so much and be as lean as he is.

"What?" he asks after swallowing a large bite of pancake and sausage.

"Nothing," I tell him.

"How's that parfait?"

"Filling."

"You eat like a bird."

"You eat like you're homeless."

Graham laughs and smiles his first real smile. I smile along with him, feeling the tension between us starting to ease. I finish my breakfast before him but once we're done get return to the car to deliver the car back to the rental place.

"How are you feeling?" Graham asks as we get off the highway to onto the road that the car rental place is on.

"I'm nervous about going home," I say then I give a small laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"I said home. I never thought I'd call Greenwich home."

Graham smiles and slides his right hand onto my thigh. I absentmindedly place my hand on top of his, securing it there, intertwining our fingers together.

It took longer to get home than it did getting to Huntsville because the layover in Atlanta was nearly an hour and a halve long, leaving us plenty of time to eat at one of the many kiosks that were set up in and around the terminals.

When Graham and I pulled into the long driveway, the front door opened to show Toby standing in the doorway, waiting for us to get out. The snow on the driveway made it difficult for me to maneuver my crutches but somehow I managed to get up the steps and through the front door without falling.

Toby wastes no time wrapping his thin arms around my torso, threatening to squeeze the air out of my lungs and break my ribs, but I don't dare tell him to let go. I spot my dad coming out of the kitchen, he kisses the top of my head just as Graham shuts the door behind me.

"Hey Kiddo, how was it?" he murmurs.

"Let her come inside first," I hear Denise call from the kitchen.

"Of course, come on," he ushers me into the kitchen, Toby still at my side.

Everyone is gathered in the kitchen, besides Daphne. Bobby offers me the bar stool he was sitting on and I accept it, sliding onto the small cushion, propping my bad leg up on Frankie, who is sitting beside me.

"Would you or Graham like something to eat?" Denise says as she opens the fridge. "We ordered pizza, I could heat the rest of it up for the two of you."

"No thanks," Graham says before me. "I have to head home."

"Okay, thank you again for doing this on such a short notice. I couldn't get out of work," my dad shakes Graham's hand.

"It's no problem, happy to help."

Graham gives Bobby a quick brotherly hug before kissing both Melanie and Frankie on top of the head, and giving Toby a quick high five before waving to the rest of us. "I'll see you tomorrow," he tells me before leaving.

When everyone hears the door shut they turn back to me, I know that they do not want to press me with their prying questions but they are all eager to know what happened during the trip. I breathe in slowly and deeply before I speak.

"It was them, they already had enough to charge both of them without my help but I think they just wanted me to put the last nail in the coffin."

"They talked about recovering some stolen items that might have been yours, did you get to check?" Frankie asked.

I held up my left hand to show everyone my mother's ring resting on my ring finger. I watch my dad's expression change from slightly concerned to sad and thoughtful. I wonder what was going through his head. Of course he had to remember this ring; he gave it to her eighteen years ago, along with a promise to stay faithful until the day he died. He didn't stay faithful though, and he's not dead.

Denise dismissed us, claiming that I needed to get some sleep because I still had to go to school in the morning. Toby hugs me once more and I bend to kiss his forehead before he makes his way up stairs and I head into my bedroom.

I don't bother changing; I just climb into bed and curl into a ball underneath the covers. I don't even look up when someone knocks and enters my room. It's my dad. He sits on the bed, next to me, and grabs my left hand, fiddling with the ring on my finger.

"I was surprised when I found out she still had it," he murmured to me. It almost sounded like he had been crying or is in the process of suppressing his tears. "I loved your mother, you know. I still do. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't think about her. That doesn't mean that I don't love Denise any less because I do love her, but she'll never be your mother."

"Why did you do it then? Why did you leave mom if you loved her so much?" I ask in a quiet whisper.

"I was nineteen your mom just turned eighteen when we got married. We were so young and naive, and had no clue what the world could or would offer us. All we knew is that we loved each other, and for that moment it was enough. It was enough when you were born and it was enough when we found out about Toby. Then I was offered an amazing position in New York and I wanted to take it, I was going to. Your mother didn't want me to. She thought that the life we were making for ourselves in Huntsville was good enough, but I didn't think so. I had been waiting so long for the opportunity, it was my dream to work in New York and to eventually be where I am today but your mom, being the selfless person she is, expected me to put my ambitions on hold like she had, to raise this family."

My dad takes a few deep breaths, steadying his voice, trying to hide his shakiness from me. "When I went to New York, your mother and I had been fighting a lot. Love can only be stretched so far until it breaks and it was starting to break. We both didn't want it to, because we still loved each other as much as we did when I gave her this ring. Between the fights and the long distance I met Denise, and she was going through something herself, he husband had died, so we found solace in each other, then solace became friendship and friendship eventually developed into a different sort of love that I felt for you mother."

"Are you blaming mom for our broken family?"

"God no. We just wanted different things. She wanted a family and I wanted to pursue my work."

"So you didn't want me? You didn't want me or Toby; you wanted to better your job. But you have a family; you adopted Bobby and Daphne and claimed them as your own. You replaced your real family with a better one."

"I made a mistake," he struggles to say. "There wasn't a day when I didn't miss you or Toby. I hate myself knowing that I didn't get to see Toby grow up. I didn't get to teach him how to ride a bike or tie his shoes; I wasn't there for scare your first boyfriend or comfort you when he broke your heart. I absolutely hate myself, and I can see that you hate me too. I see it in your eyes and the way you look at me. I see how you look at Bobby and Daphne; I can tell that you wonder if that would have been you if you moved here when you were young. You wonder if you'd have been as diverse as Daphne or working on Wall Street like Bobby. Sometimes I wonder the same things, but your mother did an amazing job raising you and Toby all by herself."

"I don't hate you," I mutter into my pillow. "I just don't like being here. I try, but I don't fit in. Someday, you and everyone else will realize it."

"I'll love you no matter where you fit in," he leans down to kiss my head. "Get some sleep."

I close my eyes but I don't go to sleep right away, but eventually the sound of the wind hitting the windows sends me into a sort of a trance, and I fade away.