Tainted Love

“Stay in bed with me?” I pouted when Matt made a move to get out of bed. He grinned, before leaning down and kissed me softly. I tried to grab onto his shoulders and pull him closer, but he pulled away and laughed shaking his head at me.

“Let me go let the dogs out baby, I’ll be back.” I pouted more, Matt just laughed at me.

“Promise?” I held out my pinky, and grinned when he wrapped his around mine. He hadn’t talked to me last night about what had been bugging him. We hadn’t gotten a whole lot of time to ourselves after the gender reveal. I wanted him to come back into bed, so we could sit here and talk about baby names for the little girl that we were expecting.

I could hear him walking around downstairs, I giggled, hearing him talk to the puppies. He had left the door open, so it wasn’t hard to hear his booming voice. I really was falling in love with him, I knew it was a problem, but I was. I wanted him to come back to bed, cuddle up against me, and just let me relax in his arms.

“I know, I promised I’d never let daddy get his hands on you. But, things change Button. Mommy is really starting to love Daddy.” I rubbed my stomach as I spoke. I sighed before moving to Matt’s side of the bed, and cuddling up to one of his pillows. I love the way he smells, it’s not overly cologne like, and it’s clean, and refreshing, but still masculine. It was the best scent ever, I could get lost in it, every day for the rest of my life. I heard him coming back up the stairs, and grinned, before pulling the blanket over my head.

“I leave for five minutes, and you steal my side!” I giggled, he pulled the blanket back, looming over me, and raised an eyebrow, and I stuck my tongue out at him, and pulled the blanket back over my head.

“Oh no you don’t woman!” I giggled as Matt grabbed my feet, and pulled me towards the bottom of the bed. He threw the blanket off of me, and grabbed my hands before I could get the blanket back. I giggled and tried to struggle away from him, but he wasn’t having it. He smirked, and pinned my hands over my head, I laughed and tried to move away from him.

“You can’t get away from me baby girl. Neither of you!” I laughed, before giving up, and wrinkling my nose at him. Matt laughed before kissing my nose.

“I thought you wanted me to stay in bed with you?” I opened my eyes and nodded at him.

“Yes please, please Matty?!” I was begging, just a bit, but I did really want to cuddle with him.

“Anything you want beautiful.” I smiled, Matt moved us back towards the top of the bed, he moved my head onto my pillow softly, but he didn’t move away from me. He was on his hands and knees over the top of me, and staring straight into my eyes.

“I love you.” He whispered it, before leaning down and kissing me, it was a soft sweet perfect kiss, and I adored it. I put my hands on his shoulders, and wrapped my legs around his waist to hold him with me. I knew my little baby bump would get in the way, so I couldn’t pull him hard against me like I wanted to,
but I could hold him like this.

“I know you do, and I’m working on it Matty, I promise you, that I am.” He smiled, before kissing me again.

“Want to tell me what’s going on with you?” Matt sighed, before removing my arms and legs from him, and rolling back onto his side of the bed. He wiped a hand over his face before sighing.

“I think, I need to go away.” I sat up, and stared at him, not quite sure what he meant.

“The fuck are you talking about Matthew?” He sighed again, and shook his head.

“Don’t freak out on me, please Ary? I’m just thinking, that maybe, I need to be committed for a few months.” My stomach dropped. When did he plan on doing this? Was he even going to be there for Button, and I? Was I going to have to do all of this by myself?

“When, when were you planning to just leave your family Matt?” I knew I was being a bitch, but I was freaking out, I didn’t want to be here without him.

“Not till after Button was born. I promise. I just think it’s for the best. I need to go get real help, and deal with everything that’s going on in my head. I need to get real help, all the time.” I sighed, and shook my head; I didn’t even want to think about him leaving. I was being selfish now, but I didn’t really care.

“Can we just not fight about this right now? I don’t want to fight you anymore; I want us to be happy Ary. We just found out we’re going to have a beautiful little girl. Can we focus on her?” I sighed, he was right, he was completely right. I was being bitchy, and I knew it was wrong.

“I’m sorry. I’m just worried. I don’t want you to leave us…” Matt sighed this time, and pulled me against him. I tried to get as close as possible to him, and buried my head against his neck. I didn’t want him to go anywhere, but if he thought that this was what was best for him, then I’d have to accept it.

“My parents are coming over tonight.” Matt reminded me, I nodded against his neck.

“I know, I’m scared.” Matt chuckled, before moving his head so he could look down at me. I decided I’d make it easy on him, and pulled back to stare into his eyes.

“You have nothing to worry about, you’re amazing. They’ll love you, simply because I do. Plus, my mom has been begging for a grand kid, and don’t worry, I already explained the situation to them.” I nodded, kind of thankful that I wouldn’t have to deal with rape questions tonight.

“I care about you.” I whispered, before kissing him. I curled up against his chest, and decided it’d be a perfect time to head back to sleep, for just a little bit.