Over

It’s strange waking up alone, especially when someone’s been sleeping next to you for four years.

To be honest I didn’t really see it coming, you’re not really the type to shout like that and definitely not the violent type but I can’t blame you. We’ve never argued before and I really wasn’t expecting our first argument to play out as it did but I suppose I’d feel the same if I came home to see my boyfriend sleeping with my ex.

I’m sorry, Phil.

It’s not so strange now, two months passed quicker than expected. I’m starting to get used to it; the loneliness. I really did think you’d come back. How stupid of me to think such a thing.

You left your space jacket here… The one I said I liked. And the shower gel I loved…

I really am sorry, Phil.

I wonder where you are, what you’re doing. Maybe you’ve moved on? Sometimes I wonder if you regret leaving, you’d come back by now if you did but thinking about the fact that you may be even slightly upset about leaving gives me a little bit of hope.

I can’t cope much longer, Phil. Please come back. I need you.

Seven months now, I can’t handle it anymore. I love you, I’m sorry.

I think I’m going to end it tonight… It hurts too much now. This is the first time I’ve been in your room since you left… It still smells like you, except nothing of yours is here anymore, just the lonely space jacket in the corner…

It’s killing me knowing you’re gone for good, that I can only see you in your videos, that I’m not allowed any kind of contact with you at all…

I’m leaving tonight, Phil. Just like you left me, the only difference is, I’m leaving everything.

Goodbye, Phil…