Status: working
Simply the Best
Remembering You
It's one am right great time to wake up after sex with your girlfriend, I slipped my shoes on then grabbed my jacket and started out the hotel....I walked to the beach I pulled out my phone and brought up my contacts and there her name was "Alex" I wanted to press it to hear her voice even if it to hell at me for being a dumb ass with our daughter.
"I wonder if she is up" I said to myself while I walked farther down the beach. It would be about three to four am there Alex sometimes can't sleep.....I looked down at my phone again and decided why not
I pushed it up to my ear and before I could get my pack out Alex answered.
"You okay Ricky?" Came that voice I loved the sound made me happy but also made me feel horrible because I just slept with Sam I just was with someone else,
"Uh yeah I'm fine"....I breathed in the smoke from my cigarette and then I looked around for the first time since I got here it was our spot I took Alex here once before she took off it was the place me and her showed each other how much we liked each other "I'm at our spot" I said I don't know if she heard but I didn't care I didn't want her to not talk though.
"You wouldn't be calling at" she paused "three in the morning if something wasn't wrong. She stated then I heard the sound of her lighter, she was lighting a smoke something was up with her
"...I don't know how to say what I'm feeling into words Alex I'm hurting a lot and I don't know what to do, everything is numb" I looked at my shoes and realized I left the room key in the hotel room, oh week I thought just means I get to spend more time out and away from Sam.
"Ricky...." I heard that I made her upset she was upset.
"I miss you Alex, you know I miss you I hate knowing that everyone can get a chance to see you and I can't I hate that I can't let go of the past, I wish things were that way again." I was upset but it's been awhile since I have felt this bad.
"Whoa hey breath hun, calm okay I'm here...."
"No you not here if you were here." I paused I can't say it , but you have to man the voice in my head told me sighing I realized she needed to know " if you were here it wouldn't be Sam in my bed it would be you and if you were here it wouldn't be Angelo holding you while you sleep or watch our daughter with you, if you were here I would be able to touch you and see you" I started to feel hurt in my chest but I have to keep it up. "If you were here I wouldn't have left my hotel, if you were here we would be together talking about how.me and you were...." I stopped a waited for her to say something
"Ricky you need some rest okay I'm sorry your upset right now but I don't know what I can do for you" with that said she hung up I looked at the spot I remember so very well
~flashback~
"Ricky were are we going the guys are that way" Alex said while holding my hand we had been on tour for the second time this year Alex joined us about three weeks into the tour.
"So I want to show you something" I stopped and looked around when I saw the big rocks I knew I was here I turned around to Alex and she was already in the water. "Thats not the surprise but okay" I watched her just walk around a little bit then she looked over at me and smiled, that smile always made my heart beat faster and knots form in my stomach.....while I was zoning out for I but I didn't realize Alex get out of the water or the fact that she was right in front of me till she straddled my lap.
Looking at her made me hard and it wasn't any better when she wrapped her arms around my neck and her chest was pressed up into mine, I snapped I rolled her over and kissed her, it was our first kiss the first time I ever felt whole was kissing her, grabbing her waist I ground my hips into hers and kissed down her neck.
"Rick..Ricky" she moaned my name out and it all happened so quickly after that, I was fucking Alex then it was over, she and I started walking back, she stopped us a little ways away from the guys and then walked in front of me she then kissed me and told me the words I have wanted to hear for so long "I love you Richard" with a small kiss on the cheek and a smile Alex was back in Ang's arms before I could even have time to try and say it back to her.
~end of flashback~
God I remember how tight she was the feeling of her around my cock was perfect. Looking down I realized I had gotten hard remember Alex....oh well Sam will have to do I started walking back it was about three in the morning now I walked up to the front desk and grabbed a spare key to my room then headed up.
I knew what I was about to do was low but I honestly had to I feel, the elevator opened on my floor and let me out I walked to my room and saw Sam still asleep I decided to go shower then I would wake her up just to have sex with her and pretend it's Alex that's all I can't do because looking at Sam made sex hard I wanted Alex but I chose Sam over her I guess....I like Sam but since I told her about Alex and Lyrica she has been here all the time it's just gotten annoying now to see her face
I went and turned on the shower and looked in the mirror and there I stood looking over myself pulling my shirt off I saw all the scars that were on my chest from not just the bar fights I got into once Alex left but from myself tracing one scare that was one my chest right above my heart "I remember doing this" I thought to myself the mirror was getting foggy so I knew it was time to get in I striped the rest of my clothes off and jumped in.....I placed my head on the cool tile while the hot water scalded my back.
"I miss you Alex" I said just above a whisper before I broke, before the tears I started looking around for Sam's razor she used....
"One cut is all I need" I said out loud to myself after taking apart the razor I stuck the black on my rib cage, the one cut turned into two, then three, then 60 till my whole side was bleeding. I watched the water by my feet turn more red with the more blood the was added to it.
I turned off the shower and got out once the bleeding stopped a little, turning to the mirror I saw what I had done my whole rib cage was destroyed on my left side, sighing I put my shirt on and slip my boxers on.
I left the bathroom and got right back in bed.
"No more sex" I thought to myself
"I wonder if she is up" I said to myself while I walked farther down the beach. It would be about three to four am there Alex sometimes can't sleep.....I looked down at my phone again and decided why not
I pushed it up to my ear and before I could get my pack out Alex answered.
"You okay Ricky?" Came that voice I loved the sound made me happy but also made me feel horrible because I just slept with Sam I just was with someone else,
"Uh yeah I'm fine"....I breathed in the smoke from my cigarette and then I looked around for the first time since I got here it was our spot I took Alex here once before she took off it was the place me and her showed each other how much we liked each other "I'm at our spot" I said I don't know if she heard but I didn't care I didn't want her to not talk though.
"You wouldn't be calling at" she paused "three in the morning if something wasn't wrong. She stated then I heard the sound of her lighter, she was lighting a smoke something was up with her
"...I don't know how to say what I'm feeling into words Alex I'm hurting a lot and I don't know what to do, everything is numb" I looked at my shoes and realized I left the room key in the hotel room, oh week I thought just means I get to spend more time out and away from Sam.
"Ricky...." I heard that I made her upset she was upset.
"I miss you Alex, you know I miss you I hate knowing that everyone can get a chance to see you and I can't I hate that I can't let go of the past, I wish things were that way again." I was upset but it's been awhile since I have felt this bad.
"Whoa hey breath hun, calm okay I'm here...."
"No you not here if you were here." I paused I can't say it , but you have to man the voice in my head told me sighing I realized she needed to know " if you were here it wouldn't be Sam in my bed it would be you and if you were here it wouldn't be Angelo holding you while you sleep or watch our daughter with you, if you were here I would be able to touch you and see you" I started to feel hurt in my chest but I have to keep it up. "If you were here I wouldn't have left my hotel, if you were here we would be together talking about how.me and you were...." I stopped a waited for her to say something
"Ricky you need some rest okay I'm sorry your upset right now but I don't know what I can do for you" with that said she hung up I looked at the spot I remember so very well
~flashback~
"Ricky were are we going the guys are that way" Alex said while holding my hand we had been on tour for the second time this year Alex joined us about three weeks into the tour.
"So I want to show you something" I stopped and looked around when I saw the big rocks I knew I was here I turned around to Alex and she was already in the water. "Thats not the surprise but okay" I watched her just walk around a little bit then she looked over at me and smiled, that smile always made my heart beat faster and knots form in my stomach.....while I was zoning out for I but I didn't realize Alex get out of the water or the fact that she was right in front of me till she straddled my lap.
Looking at her made me hard and it wasn't any better when she wrapped her arms around my neck and her chest was pressed up into mine, I snapped I rolled her over and kissed her, it was our first kiss the first time I ever felt whole was kissing her, grabbing her waist I ground my hips into hers and kissed down her neck.
"Rick..Ricky" she moaned my name out and it all happened so quickly after that, I was fucking Alex then it was over, she and I started walking back, she stopped us a little ways away from the guys and then walked in front of me she then kissed me and told me the words I have wanted to hear for so long "I love you Richard" with a small kiss on the cheek and a smile Alex was back in Ang's arms before I could even have time to try and say it back to her.
~end of flashback~
God I remember how tight she was the feeling of her around my cock was perfect. Looking down I realized I had gotten hard remember Alex....oh well Sam will have to do I started walking back it was about three in the morning now I walked up to the front desk and grabbed a spare key to my room then headed up.
I knew what I was about to do was low but I honestly had to I feel, the elevator opened on my floor and let me out I walked to my room and saw Sam still asleep I decided to go shower then I would wake her up just to have sex with her and pretend it's Alex that's all I can't do because looking at Sam made sex hard I wanted Alex but I chose Sam over her I guess....I like Sam but since I told her about Alex and Lyrica she has been here all the time it's just gotten annoying now to see her face
I went and turned on the shower and looked in the mirror and there I stood looking over myself pulling my shirt off I saw all the scars that were on my chest from not just the bar fights I got into once Alex left but from myself tracing one scare that was one my chest right above my heart "I remember doing this" I thought to myself the mirror was getting foggy so I knew it was time to get in I striped the rest of my clothes off and jumped in.....I placed my head on the cool tile while the hot water scalded my back.
"I miss you Alex" I said just above a whisper before I broke, before the tears I started looking around for Sam's razor she used....
"One cut is all I need" I said out loud to myself after taking apart the razor I stuck the black on my rib cage, the one cut turned into two, then three, then 60 till my whole side was bleeding. I watched the water by my feet turn more red with the more blood the was added to it.
I turned off the shower and got out once the bleeding stopped a little, turning to the mirror I saw what I had done my whole rib cage was destroyed on my left side, sighing I put my shirt on and slip my boxers on.
I left the bathroom and got right back in bed.
"No more sex" I thought to myself