Don't Leave Me Alone
Eight
I arrived home and grabbed a bottle of water, chugging most of it back with an aspirin. As I walked towards my bathroom, I unbuttoned my shirt, pulled off my skirt and tossed it in a line behind me. I locked the bathroom door and turned on the water.
I stood in the shower while the water fell over my face, running it all through my head again. This wasn’t me, this was never like me. I made it a quick shower, grabbing a towel as I turned the water off.
“Lauren?” I heard Willow’s voice from the kitchen and I sighed, opening the bathroom door, clinging my towel to me.
“Hey” I said, “Just coming out of the—“ and suddenly a very strange noise came from my mouth as I clinged the towel tighter and saw Jordan at the end of the hall, “Oh my—“ I almost screamed before running into my bedroom. I heard a laugh from Jordan and then I heard Willow knock on the door, “Sweetheart, you okay? You know you’re hot right?”
“That’s not helping. I just woke up in a strange bed naked, I did not need that right now!”
“Wait, what? Let me in” I heard her shoo away Jordan and I let her in. I was changed into shorts and a tank top now and she stared at me, “You stayed at James’?”
I nodded, “It happened really fast and we were both really drunk” I sighed, “This is not how I wanted to start my stay here Willow. I like him, I actually want to get to know him”
She shrugged, “Tell him that then”
“I just feel that it’s already awkward” I replied, “I feel like it started and ended just as fast.”
“Go out with him or something. Ask him for coffee”
There was a pause, “We’re going to dinner tonight”
“There! That’s a start”
I flopped down on my bed, “But what if he doesn’t like me like he thinks. What if it’s just sex and dinner and that’s it?”
“You’re setting yourself up for disappointment before even trying Lauren. You know, not every relationship fails like yours did right? You know it is possible to find someone else and actually be happy? And it’s not going to be perfect, and maybe it starts off like this, but it doesn’t mean it has to be bad. If he’s asking you out, that’s a good sign”
I stared up at the ceiling, still flat on my bed, “I guess you’re right, but doesn’t mean I’m not scared out of my wits”
She laughed, “Well, that’s normal. I’d be worried if you weren’t”
I sat up now and she followed by sitting down, “So what’s going on with you and Jordan?”
“It’s a funny story actually” she started, “I was going to his place, and I was going to text you when I got there to let you know and then we got to the apartment and I actually got really sick, a couple of times. He was super sweet, and gave me something to sleep, and gave me some of his clothes to sleep in and let me sleep in his bed, while he took the couch. I woke up this morning to toast, coffee and a shower.
We’re hanging out today. I guess we’ll see what happens. I guess I like the whole unknown part of it. Things unexpected”
I smiled, genuinely excited for her, “That’s great Willow. I’ll let you get back to him while I spend the rest of my day trying to find something to wear tonight” I looked at my bed as she got up, “After I take a nap first, of course”
She chuckled, “Not a bad idea. We’re just hanging out here for a bit. I’ll let you know if I go anywhere”
“Whatever” I had already climbed under the covers and felt my body relax, immediately falling into rest. It wasn’t long before my eyes grew heavy and I was dead to the world.
When I woke up, I looked at the clock and it was after five and I had slept for nearly four hours. This was going to completely ruin my sleep schedule for sure, but that was the last thing on my mind as James’ number came up on the phone.
Hey! We still good for tonight?
I replied quickly, Definitely, I’ll see you soon
I jumped out of bed, searched through my closet in attempt to find something decently date-worthy. I found dark jeans, a black cheetah print sweater, black heels and a long necklace with bangles on both arms. I straightened my hair and put some light makeup on, continuously second guessing everything about this date. Everything about what this meant. And everything about my outfit.
I was actually nervous as hell.
I heard a buzz and I went out to the door and buzzed down, “Hey, it’s James”
“Hey, be there in two minutes” I replied.
I took one last look and went down the elevator, through the lobby and then out the door, where he waited at the end of the stairs. My breath caught in my throat when I saw him. I was sober now, and I was sure he looked even better now in jeans and a dress shirt. He grinned at me and I smiled back before meeting him with a kiss on the cheek, “Hey, you look great” he said.
I nodded before climbing into the passenger seat, “You too”
He climbed in right after me and I sighed. He looked over, looking a tad nervous himself and for some reason, I immediately felt better. Maybe this night wouldn’t turn out to be so bad. For a change it’s not normal, and maybe James was exactly what I needed.
I stood in the shower while the water fell over my face, running it all through my head again. This wasn’t me, this was never like me. I made it a quick shower, grabbing a towel as I turned the water off.
“Lauren?” I heard Willow’s voice from the kitchen and I sighed, opening the bathroom door, clinging my towel to me.
“Hey” I said, “Just coming out of the—“ and suddenly a very strange noise came from my mouth as I clinged the towel tighter and saw Jordan at the end of the hall, “Oh my—“ I almost screamed before running into my bedroom. I heard a laugh from Jordan and then I heard Willow knock on the door, “Sweetheart, you okay? You know you’re hot right?”
“That’s not helping. I just woke up in a strange bed naked, I did not need that right now!”
“Wait, what? Let me in” I heard her shoo away Jordan and I let her in. I was changed into shorts and a tank top now and she stared at me, “You stayed at James’?”
I nodded, “It happened really fast and we were both really drunk” I sighed, “This is not how I wanted to start my stay here Willow. I like him, I actually want to get to know him”
She shrugged, “Tell him that then”
“I just feel that it’s already awkward” I replied, “I feel like it started and ended just as fast.”
“Go out with him or something. Ask him for coffee”
There was a pause, “We’re going to dinner tonight”
“There! That’s a start”
I flopped down on my bed, “But what if he doesn’t like me like he thinks. What if it’s just sex and dinner and that’s it?”
“You’re setting yourself up for disappointment before even trying Lauren. You know, not every relationship fails like yours did right? You know it is possible to find someone else and actually be happy? And it’s not going to be perfect, and maybe it starts off like this, but it doesn’t mean it has to be bad. If he’s asking you out, that’s a good sign”
I stared up at the ceiling, still flat on my bed, “I guess you’re right, but doesn’t mean I’m not scared out of my wits”
She laughed, “Well, that’s normal. I’d be worried if you weren’t”
I sat up now and she followed by sitting down, “So what’s going on with you and Jordan?”
“It’s a funny story actually” she started, “I was going to his place, and I was going to text you when I got there to let you know and then we got to the apartment and I actually got really sick, a couple of times. He was super sweet, and gave me something to sleep, and gave me some of his clothes to sleep in and let me sleep in his bed, while he took the couch. I woke up this morning to toast, coffee and a shower.
We’re hanging out today. I guess we’ll see what happens. I guess I like the whole unknown part of it. Things unexpected”
I smiled, genuinely excited for her, “That’s great Willow. I’ll let you get back to him while I spend the rest of my day trying to find something to wear tonight” I looked at my bed as she got up, “After I take a nap first, of course”
She chuckled, “Not a bad idea. We’re just hanging out here for a bit. I’ll let you know if I go anywhere”
“Whatever” I had already climbed under the covers and felt my body relax, immediately falling into rest. It wasn’t long before my eyes grew heavy and I was dead to the world.
When I woke up, I looked at the clock and it was after five and I had slept for nearly four hours. This was going to completely ruin my sleep schedule for sure, but that was the last thing on my mind as James’ number came up on the phone.
Hey! We still good for tonight?
I replied quickly, Definitely, I’ll see you soon
I jumped out of bed, searched through my closet in attempt to find something decently date-worthy. I found dark jeans, a black cheetah print sweater, black heels and a long necklace with bangles on both arms. I straightened my hair and put some light makeup on, continuously second guessing everything about this date. Everything about what this meant. And everything about my outfit.
I was actually nervous as hell.
I heard a buzz and I went out to the door and buzzed down, “Hey, it’s James”
“Hey, be there in two minutes” I replied.
I took one last look and went down the elevator, through the lobby and then out the door, where he waited at the end of the stairs. My breath caught in my throat when I saw him. I was sober now, and I was sure he looked even better now in jeans and a dress shirt. He grinned at me and I smiled back before meeting him with a kiss on the cheek, “Hey, you look great” he said.
I nodded before climbing into the passenger seat, “You too”
He climbed in right after me and I sighed. He looked over, looking a tad nervous himself and for some reason, I immediately felt better. Maybe this night wouldn’t turn out to be so bad. For a change it’s not normal, and maybe James was exactly what I needed.