Never Look Back

*4 months later*
“Enough pictures already!” I giggled next to Jack as Patrick flashed the camera at us for the hundredth time. I felt my cheeks cramping from holding the same smile for who knows how long we’ve been at it.
“Fine,” Patrick smiled and lowered the camera, I relaxed my cheeks. “It’s not every day you see your only two kids graduate high school.”
“We’re also going to be late unless we get going,” Jack said and motioned to his car.
“You’re right, let’s get going,” Patrick reluctantly agreed and drove his own car while I carpooled with Jack. I couldn’t believe we were already graduating, seems like only yesterday I was being attacked by my lanky brother who was overly excited to see me when I came to live with them but that was practically a year ago.
“Are you nervous?” Jack asked me.
“No, I’m in shock. I can’t believe this is all happening,” I replied and he nodded.
“Yeah I know, doesn’t seem that long ago when you came to live with us.” Now Jack and the rest of All Time Low were heading out on tour on November – March but until then they were opening on tour for some band called The Maine a couple days after graduation. Jack and I already had our graduation party yesterday so he could have time to get everything together and buy some new equipment. I still didn't know what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life and it drove me crazy.
We arrived at the school and Jack and I entered the auditorium with the other mass of maroon and navy gowns and caps. I had on maroon while Jack had navy, thankfully I wasn’t big enough yet that everyone could see a bump, I had only a little baby bump as I was just five months along and I was okay with that.
I had changed a lot in the past few months, I had dyed my hair a light blonde color with a pink streak and blue streak in the back, I was obviously pregnant, I quit being All Time Low’s photographer, I was dating Sam Handler (he knew about the baby) and we bought a flat together in Los Angeles, we moved in a week. Alex and I had moved on from each other, he had a nice girlfriend named Katie Mann. I didn’t care much for her but she was better than the girls at high school, she was nineteen and had graduated last year, the only thing I’d give was she is very pretty.
As the ceremony started, we all sat in our assigned spots. The ceremony was boring, the principal and teachers talked about how great students we were and how far we came and how far we’ll go. Valedictorians’ went through all their speeches which I found a little more interesting but I was mostly happy when it was over and we went through the long line to pick up our diplomas.
“Congratulations Alyssa, I’m so happy you decided to move into our school, you had a huge impact on us all,” the principal said as he handed me my diploma. I smiled and nodded before walking off stage. We all threw our caps in the air and cheered, hugging and kissing the friends we might not ever see again.
I hugged Jack tightly, seeing Kara and Rian come up to us, I let go and squeezed Kara tightly.
“We did it!” I exclaimed.
“We did, congrats Alyssa,” she replied. I let go and saw tears rolling down her cheeks, making me cry.
“Have you found a college?” I asked.
“Stanford, I’m going on scholarship. I already have a place out there, Rian’s going to visit me whenever he can,” she nodded and I freaked.
“California!? I’m going to live out in Los Angeles with Sam.”
She smiled big and hugged me again, I hugged Rian and congratulated him too.
“Congratulations Alyssa,” I heard someone say and I turned around to see Lisa standing before me, we still were on edge but weren’t at each other’s neck anymore.
“You too Lisa,” I said and gave her a hug before she left to find her other friends.
“Alyssa!” I turned back around to see Isobel, Alex’s mom, rush toward me with her camera in hand. “We’re having an after party at the house, please, I would love to have you and Jack come. Rian and Kara already agreed.” I hesitated and looked at Kara who nodded.
“Uh, sure I’ll come.”
“Oh perfect!” She squealed and insisted on taking a picture of all of us before she dashed away to find Alex in the sea of graduates.
~~
The party was in full swing when we arrived, there was a barbeque along with a huge table full of dishes of food, people laughing and talking and a huge banner that said ‘Congratulations Graduates.’ I shimmied the gown off, I was wearing a spring dress with matching heels underneath it, my baby bump wasn’t too big yet but I was still self-conscience about it so I folded my arms over it.
I immediately dug into the food and ate my life away as I chatted with old friends about their future even though I couldn’t share much about mine since I had no future. I would have invited Sam to the graduation but he was out of town for the week busy recording another band and pulling together their album, I haven’t seen him since Monday and it was Saturday now, he wouldn’t be back til Tuesday. He was upset that he couldn’t come and I told him it was no big deal but he still sent me flowers and a huge stuffed bear as an apology.
“Oh good Alyssa you came!” Isobel said excitingly. “Alex! Alex come over here!” She called to him, he was surrounded by a group of friends including Katie and looked over at us. His eyes met mine as he trudged over.
“Get together! We’re taking a picture, you guys look so cute,” she said and back up away from us and held up her camera.
“Come on Ma, is this really necessary?” Alex complained.
“Alex, you will take this picture,” she said sternly and pushed us together. “Put your arm around her!”
“Sorry about this,” Alex whispered to me as he put his arm around my waist. I waited until she took the picture to respond. He removed his arm and faced me as his mom gushed about how great the picture was before running off to go fix the food.
“Don’t be, I haven’t seen you in a while. How are things?” I asked.
“Great I guess, you know with going on tour and stuff. Katie is coming with us too you know to keep me sane,” he said and I nodded. “How are things with you?”
“Good, Sam and I are moving into a flat in Los Angeles in a week and I’m due in November,” I told him and he winced. “Don’t worry, I won’t expect anything from you.”
“I’m sorry Alyssa okay? I don’t know what else you want me to do, I told you that I wanted to be with you and the…baby but you didn’t want me remember?” He whisper-yelled.
“Oh yeah I guess I just wasn’t fully convinced after you’ve left me twice now!” I whisper-yelled right back.
“Well, I should probably get back to Katie. I’ll see you,” he said but I grabbed his arm.
“Wait…” I said and he turned around. “Please take care of Jack for me, make sure he doesn’t get into any trouble.”
“Yeah,” he said nodding. “I will.” He then walked back over to his group of friends who surrounded him again. Things with us will never really be taken care of and we had a hard time being friends. I found Kara and stayed with her for the rest of the party, I was thankful that we finally got to leave because I had exhausted myself from all the hugs, smiles, kisses and repetitive conversation. I had called Sam earlier and he congratulated me and told me he loved me.
“I’m coming back to hang out with the band at Alex’s, can you tell dad that? I’d appreciate it,” Jack asked as he drove me home and I nodded. He must’ve been in a hurry because he sped home, rushed me out of the car and sped away. I greeted Patrick in the living room before going to my room to change into something more comfortable.
“Hey Patrick?” I had begun walking to my room but stopped and turned around to ask him something.
“Yeah?” He said.
“Would it be okay if I called you Dad from now on?” I had been meaning to ask him this but I had chickened out for the longest time, for some reason I was feeling brave. I still felt my heart pound, scared he’d say no.
“Of course Alyssa,” he whispered and I nodded, standing there for a second before continuing to my room.
“Thanks Pa-dad,” I said with a giggle.
“You know your mother would be very proud of you Alyssa.”
I smiled to myself, “I know.”
I walked down the hall and into my room, where I saw Sam sitting on my bed. “Sam!” I squealed and ran to him with my arms extended, he stood up just in time to catch me.
“Oh Alyssa I missed you so much,” he whispered into my ear before setting me down.
“I thought you couldn’t be here til Tuesday, how’d you get off?” I asked.
“We got done early, so I sped home to you. I got here seconds before you did,” he smiled.
“But I didn’t see your car.”
“I parked it down the street.” I smiled big and hugged him again, he kissed my lips sweetly. He let go and seemed to look nervous about something.
“Uh, Alyssa…I have to ask you something.” He said and rubbed his hands together nervously, this scared me.
“Yeah, what is it?”
He got down on one knee and pulled out a small black box, opening it to reveal a huge diamond ring. “Will you marry me?”