Fighting Feelings

(Channel 7 News)

Melissa: Hi, everyone. Thanks so much for joining us this Evening. You're watching 7 News." I'm Melissa Doyle

Singer Sensation Ashley Ann is in Critical Condition in the hospital after following a terrible car crash in Michigan Detroit. Ashley was coming home from having Dinner at a friend's house Last night and was in her Black SUV early this morning.

Police say a Drunk Driver drove through a red light and smashed into the Left rear End side of her car causing it to flip over and taking them over 45 mins just to remove her safely from the car. The other driver in the other car was also rushed to hospital but unfortunately died while in Surgery, we have been told his name is not to be released but we can tell you he was not only driving under the influence but also driving without a license.

Ashley Ann is now hospitalised and her family we are told are right by her side. The singer is of course known around the world as "the Queen of RnB", she is also considered as the Biggest Female Artist of the decade and for the third year in a row she has been pronounced as " the most beautiful woman on the planet"

Right Now many people around the world are pulling for her sending her their Best wishes via twitter and online Media
some include celebrities like

(Twitter messages are displayed on screen while she is reading them)

Lady Gaga- So shocked to hear about Ashley, If Wishes can heal and Love Can act like a pill, I'll pray for you in all ways and hope for your recovery each day.

Barbra Streisand- It feels horrible to see such a perky and bubbly person like Ashley hurt and weak.
But I know that she will be strong again. I am praying very hard for that day to come really soon when she will be back on top. Get well soon my dear

Usher- You fill the world around with happiness, with your lovely voice and lovely presence. Now that you are hurt the world has become a gloomy place. My thoughts are with her family, Please get well Soon, Ashley!

Elton John: My prays and thoughts are with Ashley and her family. Ashley, you are very precious and we hate to see you like this. David and I wish and pray for a speedy recovery for you.

Bruno Mars: Can't believe what I'm hearing right now, the world is not ready to say goodbye to such a beautiful woman, my pray and thoughts are with her and her Family through this tough time.

( goes back to Melissa Doyle in News Room)

Melissa: Now I want to go straight to George Main, he is live in Michigan, Detroit. George you've been there all day.
First of all, give us the latest on her condition.

( shows George in front of hospital)

George: she is still in Critical condition and she is still in Intensive Care where she's been since early yesterday morning. Now it was only half an hour ago that we finally did hear from her reps and it turns out her condition is worse than everyone was expecting.

Her reps have told us that she did have internal bleeding on arrival and the surgeons did spend numerous hours in emergency surgery trying to stop the bleeding but unfortunately they couldn't stop her going into cardiac Arrest.

We have been told that she is currently on life support and in an induced coma suffering from pressure on her brain.

Now I can't express the shock and sadness coming from outside this hospital, as you can see fans have gathered outside the hospital with flowers and cards just waiting for any news about their favourite Female Artist and showing support to her family.

Melissa: Throughout the day numerous well known people have been pictured coming in and out of the hospital, now this is causing major Meltdowns on Twitter with some people scared that there saying their final goodbyes because she isn't going to make it. What can you tell us about this?

George: Yeah your right a lot of people have been worried that she isn't going to make it because they've seen numerous people coming in and out of the hospital but I have been told their just here to see her.
Now we did capture her parents arriving here yesterday afternoon and today we've seen her close friend Fifty Cent arriving with Rapper Royce 5'9. Of course seeing these two arrive just added fuel to the whole Eminem Dating Rumour seeing they are both signed to Eminem's label and is close friends of the Rapper and it has also been confirmed by a source inside that Eminem is still inside and has been there since she arrived early yesterday Morning.

Her parents did leave the hospital only about 45 minutes ago probably going home to get some rest since they flew over from Canada, but we are still are unsure if her two teenage boys Kane and Isaac are inside....well just because no one really knows what they look like. For years Ashley has made it her number one priority to keep her boys away from the spotlight and to protect their privacy and only a few really know what they look like so they could have left or they could still be inside but no one really knows.

Melissa: You know George; this happened around about 12 am Friday morning, so the question always comes to mind- Any indication if they are still investigating the crash? Or have they figured out what exactly happened?

George: The crash is still under investigation Melissa. At this point seeing the other Driver has unfortunately passed away they won't be pressing any charges against him nor will they be releasing his name and information at this stage. The Detroit state police say that what they've been told by witnesses and spectators is making sense with what the Car crash scene investigators have found after looking at both vehicles and the intersection where it all happened.

Melissa: Thanks so much George we check back in later tonight.

(Turns back to Channel 7 News studio)

Melissa: That was George Main standing just outside Michigan hospital where all kinds of people are waiting just to hear news about their Favourite Singer, Ashley Ann. Our hearts go out to her family not only in Detroit but also her family back here in Australia and to anyone affected in this. Of course, one life lost and everyone here at channel 7 is wishing the best for Ashley and her Family, Thank you. Appreciate the report today George.

Marshall P.O.V

Have you ever been with someone who's so close but also so far away, here is the woman I love lying right in front of me but as she continues to make no movement i start to realize just how far away she really is, and me just sitting here holding her hand is probably pointless and a waste of time.
But still I can't seem to leave her side or stop talking to her. I just wish I could have one more conversation with, one more chance to make up for all the pain I've put her through since we'd met, make up for the time I thought she would be here forever. But I don't I just have the time I've got with her right now even if she is unconscious and a machine is breathing for her, I don't care and I won't leave her.

I continue sitting by her side not once looking away from her beautiful face as she still just lays there. I often wonder if she can hear or see things happening around her? if she can hear my heart constantly breaking every minute of the day? or if she wants to communicate with us and in her mind she's talking but nothing seems to be coming out of her mouth and she can't seem to move.
These are the things that run through my head repeatedly otherwise it's old memories that have permanently stuck in my mind, they're probably memories she doesn't even remember since they're basically made up of little things I've noticed and studied since being with her.

" hey Marshall" someone said softly, making me look behind wondering who's entered the room only to see it's fifty. He's been here since he found out the news.

" hey" I just said before turning back and looking at Ashley, it's like I'm hoping the more I stare at her the more chance I have of seeing some slight movement or indication she's still with us.

Fifty p.o.v

" why don't you go home and get some rest" I asked him watching as he just continues to sit there staring at her while holding her hand.

" nah I'm fine besides I promised the boys I would stay with her until they come back" he replied not even bothering to look at me. He's been here for two days straight and he's only wearing clean clothes because he got Paul to bring some up, other than that he hasn't left her room, showing no emotion in his face but the ways he's acting you can tell he's heartbroken.

" you've been here for the past two days, I'm sure the boys won't mind if you go home to get some rest besides I can sit with her until they come back" I replied just hoping he decides to head home. It's not good when he doesn't sleep, he tends to her angry and irritable but especially with moments like these he tends to think the worst and it's not good when Marshall gets depressed.

" I told you I'm fine" he muttered back still staring at her, I just leave the room seeing he's showing no intention of leaving her side anytime soon. I know if Ashley was awake she would be worried about him too and constantly on his back to go home and get some rest.

I just have to continue looking out for him, knowing that's exactly what Ashley would be doing.

" how's she doing?" I hear from beside me turning slightly to see Royce standing with a massive bunch of flowers, which I couldn't help but laugh seeing I wasn't expecting him to turn up with flowers.

" not to good, i don't think she's going to make it" I replied turning my attention back onto watching Marshall and Ashley as I stand outside looking through the window that's covered with blinds, I can barely seem them but that doesn't matter.

" shit!! Will be a tragic to loose someone as sweet as her" he said also turning his attention to her.

" how's He doing?" He asked, straight away I know he's talking about Marshall and his determination not to leave her side.

" he hasn't left or slept since the accident. He just sits by her side, waiting" I said sadly knowing this is Marshall's way of grieving, he won't cry or get angry hell just refuse to leave her side.

" I'm worried about him" I continue looking down at Royce knowing he's feeling the same way.
We both know we are seeing the same behaviour he displayed when Proof and his Aunty died, not letting anyone in and refusing to come to terms with things.

" you and me both " he mumbled, seeming worried like I am. We both know the hard time he went through with proof and I honestly think he's taking this as a sign that he's not meant to be happy since Ashley's the first woman he's loved since Kim.

" what do we do?" Royce asked knowing we can't just let it go and hope he gets better, we both know Marshall is just going to continue to her worst until he hits rock bottom.

" I have an idea but i think we're gonna need to call Paul" I said, I've got an idea but I know Paul's gonna have to help us with it, but it's not like he's not worried as well. All the guys have been ringing wondering how Ashley's doing and also how Marshall's handling things, I guess we all can tell it's only a certain amount time before Marshall's starts craving again.

Just like Marshall promised he didn't move an inch until her boys and parents came back to the hospital a few hours later.
They've been here since the accident as well, but seeing how the boys couldn't handle not having any sleep they decided to head home to Ashley's house to grab some rest before returning to be by her side.

" he's still here" her mum Joanne said after noticing how Marshall hasn't moved since they left.

" yeah he promised the boys he wouldn't leave until they came back" I answered her, glancing back to see Marshall greeting her sons as they went to sit by their mothers side as well.

" he's a good man, I just hope Ashley wakes up" Joanne replied sadly, tears forming knowing the hope of Ashley waking up is slowly going down.
But I couldn't agree more with her, Marshall and Ashley deserve to have a chance with each other and prove to everyone they belong together.

We just stood standing watching Marshall and her boys, I could tell Joanne was also noticing Marshall's cold mood and emotionless behaviour, but I think she understands he's not one to show affection or emotion but that doesn't mean he's not insanely in love with Ashley, he just has other ways of showing it and I think being here for her boys is one way.

Marshall p.o.v

It took a while but I finally gave into fifty and decided to go home for a rest, well that's what I told him but I know I'm not going to rest. It's to hard, every time I close my eyes i see her, I see her smiling at me or I remember some moment she managed to take my breath away, which was usually majority of the time.

The house is empty since the girls are at school and Nathan is at work so I have the house to myself.
But it's like as soon as i entered my room and I saw her stuff all the memories we've shared together started rushing back, like the day I decided to make a special spot in my wardrobe for all her stuff seeing she was always leaving her clothing hanging around, all the time she wanted to see my comic book collection and then we spent the day just laying across my bed reading different comics and me telling her about them, her not once seeming uninterested as she let me babble on about my weird secret hobby.

I couldn't handle it anymore, I couldn't handle smelling her scent as I walked into the bathroom, or seeing her jewellery laying around with mine, and in the end I just lost it.
Storming into my wardrobe I just started pulling all the clothes off the rack and throwing her shoes away from mine. It's like every sad emotion I have been feeling has finally burst from me and it's like its turned into anger and I'm taking it out on everything I see off hers.
I only stop when I feel something soft in my hands and I that's when I've notice I've picked up her cream silk dressing gown she always wears when we are just lazing around in my bedroom, I remember how beautifully her naked body looks in it as she loved teasing me, its my favourite piece of clothing of hers since in a way it makes her look like angel, or naturally beautiful.

I grab hold of the dressing gown but I can't seem to throw it, instead my anger changes and instantly I break down in tears, slipping down the wall that I'm leaning on still holding the dressing grown, trying to smell her scent in it.

" you said you wouldn't leave me" I mumbled softly to myself before bursting into tears allowing all this sadness to finally escape.
I know I probably looked like a girl sitting on the ground in my wardrobe, leaning against the wall with my knees up allowing me to rest my head in her dressing gown not caring I'm crying, but you have to understand I've tried being strong for the past two days especially for her boys but just thinking about losing her I can't even handle it.
I just kept sobbing, hoping deep down she might walk through that door and help me like she always does, but the more I sit here the more i begin to get tired and just slowly I drift of to sleep and Into my perfect dream.

( start of dream )

" I'm home" I yelled, placing my small suitcase down and shutting the door to stop the blizzard wind from sweeping through.
The house was loud as always but laughter and chatter filled the air making me so thankful to be back from my three day trip to New York where I'm writing for my new album.

" hey dad" Hailie smiled being the first one to walk in and greet me with open arms and a kiss as Whitney closely followed behind.

" how was school?" I asked, while beginning to follow them into the family room where all the noise is coming from.

" it was alright" they replied, saying the same answer they do every time I ask them. It's Friday evening and chaotic in this household.

" thought your mum was picking you up tonight?" I asked, taking a quick glance at the mail they've left for me. I hated how the week I had them I had to be away for three of the days, but there was no way I could get out of it.

" she is but we asked to be picked up later cause we wanted to have dinner here, we're having your favourite" Whitney smiled, making me even happier knowing I get to spend some time with Them before they go spend a week with their mother.

The girls quickly ran back upstairs to continue on with whatever they're doing while I continue making my way into the family room already smelling the amazing chicken pie I've been craving.

" hey sweetie" I heard lifting my head from the mail to be faced with my beautiful wife who's cooking my favourite dinner. It's been nearly 1 year since Ashley and I got married and far out I couldn't be happier.

" hey love, how are you" I replied, placing the mail down and wrapping my arms around her from behind before placing little kisses on her shoulder while watching her cooking.

" I'm good, how was your trip?" She asked smiling up at me allowing me to kiss her lips, the same lips I've been wanting to kiss for the past three days I've been away. We been together for nearly 4 years and we're still crazy in love. We have our problems and our fights we're not perfect but which is couple is, we might be famous and still killing it but we like to think we are just like any other couple, we still have moments of jealousy mainly on my behalf, we still have days we're we irritate each other and there are still moments we need space because we feel like killing each other but instead of giving up and walking away we sort things out because we both know life's to precious to be fighting or hating each other.

" it was alright, got a few songs done" I answered not really thinking about my trip anymore, that's been done and now that I'm home people here tonight are all I can think about.

" that's good.... Well dinner will be ready soon" she smiled placing one more peck on my lips before continuing on cooking. Knowing she's in the zone I just let her continue while going to say hello to everyone else.

" hey guys, who's winning?" I asked seeing Ashley's boys sitting on the couch watching football with Nathan. They never used to be fans of football but seeing how Isaac basically lives here every second week I've gotten them into it, you see Kane is at collage just like Alaina is so they try to visit as much as possible. Kane's spent a few days here and now he'll Spend the weekend at his dads before heading back to campus.
Alaina comes home more often just like Nathan so she's here tonight and she's also going to see her mum with the girls.

" Yankees" they all replied sadly knowing they'd rather Detroit be winning.
I sit with them for a few minutes just catching up on the game before realizing I still haven't greeted someone.
So I get up and make my way back to the kitchen where I take the opportunity to lightly smack Ashley's butt who's leaning down stacking the dishwasher.

" Marshall" she hissed but with a massive smile on her face making me laugh seeing she actually doesn't mind. She's knows me and she knows I liked to have fun and have a real trouble keeping my hands of her.

" so where's the little guy?" I asked leaning against the counter wondering where my favourite guy is.

" he's upstairs with the girls, I think they're getting him ready for dinner" she replied, turning round and giving me a stack of plates and cutlery as she smirks at me. Seeing I don't really have a choice I begin setting the table and getting it ready for everyone. I had just finished when I heard laugher coming down the stairs knowing my favourite boy is coming down.

" daddy!!!" He squealed letting go of Hailie and Whitney's hands and running, well more like trying to since he can't really run yet, but he still trotters towards me with a massive smile plastered on his face.

" hey little guy" I smiled back crouching down with my arms wide open for him to fall into. His name is Jackson Ann Mathers and he's so dam cute. He's got my blue eyes but Ashley's smile and ability to light up a whole room with his presence. See I've just got blue eyes but with him he's not only got blue eyes but he's also capable of showing his emotions through them and I've already promised myself I'm never going to let him get as cold as I am. However I do have to admit since having him and since being with Ashley I've started to show more emotions and feelings but I think that's only because Ashley has broken down my walls and I'm just blessed to have her in my life.

" he has missed you, he's been asking all day when your going to be home" Ashley said from the background, Jackson May only be just under two but we are starting to see him speak more an say more words and we are also seeing him starting to feel emotions and experiment with feelings, so hearing how he's been missing me and wondering where I am is a good sign that he's growing up normally.

" I missed you too... You know I actually have a new book to read to you tonight" I smiled holding him in my arms as he plays with the chain around my neck, still unsure on what it really is.

" story! Yay" he smiled making us all laugh seeing how excited he is for bedtime stories. It's funny between the girls dressing him up and the boys playing sport games with him I can tell Ashley and I have got one very smart little boy who's got the biggest heart just like he's mother.

I place him on my lap admiring his little pyjamas Ashley bought him he's wearing a t shirt that has writing on the front that reads
'top 5 rappers
Eminem
Slim shady
Marshall Mathers
B rabbit
And that white guy from d12 '

I have no idea where she got it but I received it for Father's Day and every time I look at it I can't help but smile and laugh, she also got another one which has on the front Of it ' the real slim shady' but he's grown out of it now.

I sat at the bench talking to Ashley while playing with Jackson who's busy doing some kind of educational puzzle to help him develop his brain, since both of his parents didn't even finish high school I guess where doing everything not to let that happen to this one just like we've done with all our other kids.

" he didn't have his nap this afternoon, did you?" Ashely commented running her hands through his hair while noticing how tired he looks.

" why not? Was something wrong?" I asked, like always worrying about something way to quickly and being over protective, but Ashley's used to it that's why she just shakes her head and smiles.

" no I think he was just to excited, he knew you were coming home and all the kids were here. So I just think he didn't want to be left out of the fun.... No biggie" she explained, flattering me with how excited he has been to see me and have me home.

" just means he's tired and defiantly will sleep like a baby tonight" she smirked giving me her flirtatious seductive look before placing a quick peck on my cheek and then going to place the dinner on the table.

" dinner is ready guys" she screamed acting like she wasn't just flirty with me and getting me excited for tonight. To everyone it might have just been a normal comment but ash and I both know we will be catching up in more ways than one tonight.

" you better be a good boy and sleep all night tonight and I mean all night!!!!" I whispered into Jackson's ear, just watching as he played having no idea what I'm talking about, but seeing Ashley walk past and smile again I knew she heard me and knew it was going to be a long pleasurable night.

Seeing how everyone's coming in for dinner I just pick Jackson up and place him in his booster seat at the end of the table seeing ash has got some dinner ready for him, I swear she's like superwoman not only is she incredible mother to all the kids, but she still manages to be the hottest female artist and my sexy wife now that's pretty impressive.

We sat round talking about things and catching up on the things I've missed these last few days. As I look at everyone I still can't believe how quick everyone is growing up. Hailie is about to graduate high school, Whitney is going into year nine and Isaac is going into year 10 while both Alaina and Kane are in collage not to mention Nathan is probably about to get engaged anytime now and let's not forget Jackson who's about to turn two.
It's incredible how much we're all growing up and I just hope proof and my aunt are looking down over us just as proud as I am to have come this far.

Ashley began helping the kids clean up while I slipped away to put Jackson to bed, something that I've missed doing these last couple of nights ive been away.
" so do you want to hear the new story I got you?" I asked him while walking up to his bedroom with him in my arms resting his head against my shoulder.

" Yeah I want hear story" he cheered enthusiastically, making me laugh knowing as soon as his head hits the pillow he'll be almost asleep, just by looking into his eyes you can see he's ready for a goodnight sleep which is a good thing for Ashley and I.

I turn on his light and place him softly into his crib that's going to be swapped with a big boys bed soon.

I bought him one of those books your able to actually in cooperate their names into the story, anyway it was about some superhero dog and his owner/ best friend who's name I made out to be Jackson. During the story they rescue people through their neighbourhoods, I have to admit it was the easiest book even I could read it, but seeing how you have to read it about 10 times before Jackson begins to get it I know I'm going to be readying it until I have it memorized.

Like I was expecting it only takes about 3 minutes until he's beginning to close his eyes more as he quietly drifts of to sleep.
Ashley comes in after cleaning up to say goodnight as well.

" sweet dreams, I love you" she whispered kissing his forehead and watching as he falls quietly into his deep little sleep.

" see you in the morning little one, daddy loves you" I added kissing him as well, before turning his night light on seeing he can't seem to sleep without.
Not wanting to disturb him Ashley and I gently tip toe out of there making sure to glance back once more before closing his door and allowing our little baby to have a good night sleep.

Seeing how the kids are down stairs busy watching TV, I take this opportunity to grab Ashley gently pushing her against the wall allowing me to kiss her passionately like I've been wanting for days now.
I slide my hands down her back lightly squeezing her backside as she wraps her hands around my neck allowing us to deepen the kiss. Straight away we get caught up in each other, as our desires for each other are getting harder to hide.

" I missed you" I whispered leaning my forehead against hers as we are just standing there in each other's arms.

" i missed you too" she replied, smiling slightly loving now I'm back. I hate having to leave and to be honest it's been a while since I have but nothing feels better than coming home to a happy house filled with kids and an amazing wife who still manages to take my breath away.

We went back down stairs to join the kids knowing we only got a little whole longer until they have to leave.
But we managed to fit one episode of How I met your mother in before Kane and Isaac's father showed up just like Kim did.
There are days where I still think about Kim and our past but it's pretty hard not to be reminded of her when you have three daughters who look exactly like she did at their age, but I also know Ashley sometimes thinks about her ex husband when she watches Kane and Isaac. It's not like a bad thing and these days Ashley and I actually talk to each other about these things, it's not like we're still in love with our ex's it's just we sometimes can't help but think about them and our past, I guess we both understand we've got so much history with our ex partners to just forget like that.
In saying this, till this day I still don't regret choosing Ashley over Kim. I defiantly wouldn't be as happy as I am today if it wasn't for Ashley and her love she's constantly giving me.

I just sat up in bed watching Ashley standing in front of the bathroom mirror getting ready for bed. I can't help but admire her perfect body that's been hidden underneath her cream silk dressing gown.
I still question how someone as beautiful as her is with someone like me, for years the paparazzi have been making fun of me and they often wonder how someone like Ashley Ann ends up with someone like rapper Eminem.
I know Ashley loves me but it still doesn't stop me from doubting myself from time to time. It hasn't always been this perfect for us, there were time where we had our ups and downs due to tiredness or stress and there they're the moments I can't help but get jealous or possessive over Ashley, it's pretty hard not to when she still looks like she's in her late twenties while I know I'm aging pretty bad these days, people think I'm back on drugs since my skin looks so sloppy but it's actually because I've been sober for years now and must prepare to look like a 40 year old.
So now you understand why I get jealous and worried sometimes, but Ashley is constantly telling me and reminding me how much she loves me and she hasn't done anything for me to loose trust in her, it's just I tend to let the media get to my head.

But it's when I come home to my kids and I fall asleep with Ashley in my arms that I realize just how lucky I am and how I wouldn't do anything to fuck it up.

( End of dream)

I don't know what exactly woke me up but something did, one minute I'm laying in bed with Ashley naked on top of me and the next minute I'm sitting against the wall with my knees up, resting my head against her silk dressing gown with tears still rolling down my cheeks.
I'm slightly confused, but taking some time to adjust to where I am, that's when I slightly remember I'm still sitting in my wardrobe and that perfect world I was just in was only a dream.

Seeing I've already been a way from Ashley long enough, I quickly jump into the shower to freshen up before heading back to the hospital. I don't care I've only slept for a little while, I just need to be close to Ashley.
You know when you have one of those dreams that just sticks in your head, well that dream I just had is one of those. It wasn't as clear as it was before but even as I'm sitting in the back of the car while someone is driving me to the hospital snippets of the dream runs through my head.
I have no idea why i would have a dream like that and these days I don't know if it was a sign or not.
I don't know if it was a sign to show me she's going to be okay or if it was gods way of punishing me for all the hatred things I've said through my songs.

Arriving back at the hospital of course the paparazzi captured me arriving only an hour or so after I left to supposedly get some rest.
Her boys and family were inside her hospital room just sitting by her side praying like I am. But I didn't want to interrupt there time with her so I just took a seat in the waiting room.

Seeing we have our own private waiting room where no one can really enter without permission I take this time to take a nap and catch up on some sleep.
But By the time I wake up I notice my girls are here sitting in the room quietly doing their homework waiting for me to wake up.
They came straight after school wanting to see Ashley and see her family, but since her boys are still spending time with their mother alone I just hang with my girls waiting until it okay for them to see her.

We spent an hour or so in the room as my girls gave their best wishes to Ashley. Her boys also stayed in the room and this allowed the kids to hang out, I could see my girls were calming down her boys and making them more relaxed then they were before. But seeing now they have to head to Kim's tonight, they could only stay until dinner time before I got my guard to drop them home and than to Kim's. I hated not spending time with them but I just can't seem to leave Ashley and luckily my girls understand the position I am in and are happy to help me.

Like the night before I again spend the night by her side, holding her hand. Her parents didn't want the boys to start staying up every night so they took them home to get some rest and like before I promised I would be by her side the whole time.
It's funny, I had various naps through the night and just like always i seemed to have a really good sleep just holding her hand, it was like we were sleeping next to each other like we always do, but we're not we're still sitting in the hospital, I just wish she could realize Im right beside her and I'm not planning on going anywhere.