If Jealousy Could Kill

Haruna rubbed the back of her neck slowly, rolling her head back as a soft groan passed her lips. From beside her where the two girls sat on the couch, Tomomi giggled. On the drive back, Haruna had fallen asleep in the car and she’d fallen asleep at a fairly awkward angle. The angle she had chosen to sleep in had left her with some pain in her neck and back, and all Tomomi could do was laugh at her for it.

Hearing the laughter, Haruna lightly punched Tomomi on the leg which only seemed to encourage even more of her laughter. She sighed softly, letting her head drop to the side. Haruna could feel Tomomi let go of her hand, instead coming to wrap her arm tightly around Haruna’s waist. The younger brunette pulled the couple closer together, planting a kiss on her cheek. Despite the kiss, Haruna shot Tomomi a glare.

“Why are you glaring at me like that? You’re the one who fell asleep at such a weird angle!” Tomomi defended herself. Haruna rolled her eyes, turning her head away from Tomomi.

“You could have woken me up…. Or at least shown more compassion than laughing,” Haruna replied. Tomomi did her best to stifle her giggles but she didn’t do a very good job of it, everyone in the room could still hear her clearly. She couldn’t help it; Haruna was just too adorable when she was angry.

“And risk you biting my head off for waking you up? No way!” Tomomi protested. Haruna shot her another glare and she could hear Miyuki and Mami laughing from where they were leaned up against a wall to the right of the couch. Rina wasn’t over there with them; she was sitting silently on the couch next to Tomomi, the brunette trapped in between the roommates.

“What are you two laughing at?” Haruna barked at them. The duo tried to stop laughing, but the tone Haruna had used to ask her question only seemed to encourage their laughter and make them laugh even harder.

“Well for one, it’s hilariously ironic that you went to a hot spring to relax and came back with a sore back and neck,” Mami pointed out when she managed to calm down her laughter enough. “And for two, give her a break. You are kind of a monster when someone dares to wake you up.”

“I am not a monster,” Haruna huffed out.

“Oh yeah? Who was the one who tackled me and tried to choke me the last time I tried to wake her up?” Mami challenged the brunette.

“You dumped ice cold water on me, you completely deserved that.” At Haruna’s sentence, Miyuki couldn’t help her laughter. Haruna narrowed her eyes at the black haired woman, not too happy with the fact that Miyuki was laughing at her.

“Really, Mami? That was your genius plan? Couldn’t you think of anything better?” Miyuki asked her. Haruna’s gaze softened a bit when Miyuki had said. She really needed to stop jumping to conclusions and overreacting when it came to Miyuki, she was still acting too protective for her own good. It would simply take Haruna a bit more time to grow used to Miyuki.

“What? Haruna needed to wake up and I needed a laugh, it worked out for the both of us,” Mami responded with a shrug.

“It only worked out for you,” Haruna sneered at the blonde who only gave her a big grin in return. Haruna huffed, crossing her arms over her chest in a pout. Tomomi laughed softly, prying one of Haruna’s arms away from her body, keeping her other arm wrapped around Haruna’s waist. Tomomi laced her hand with Haruna’s, giving the older girl a gentle kiss.

“We’re only teasing, darling,” Tomomi cooed to her gently. Haruna sighed softly, dropping her head down onto Tomomi’s shoulder. She loved the new pet names Tomomi had taken to using, they were comforting to her.

From beside them, Rina had cringed upon hearing Tomomi’s use of the word ‘darling’. She knew this would happen. She just knew it. Tomomi had never used such a word with Haruna before they left; it could only mean that the two of them had grown closer. Tomomi had gotten farther inside of Haruna’s head; she was taking Haruna even further away from Rina.

Rina was losing.

But Rina didn’t want to lose Haruna and she wouldn’t accept losing. She wouldn’t accept Haruna choosing Tomomi over her. Haruna couldn’t choose Tomomi over Rina, not after everything the two roommates had been through together. Rina and Haruna had a connection that Tomomi would never understand. She had Haruna first, Tomomi didn’t deserve her. If she didn’t find something that would work soon then she would run the risk of never being able to gain back Haruna’s love.

She wanted to think that her plan with Miyuki was still working but now with seeing how close Tomomi and Haruna had gotten, she was beginning to wonder if her plan was making an impact on Haruna at all. She had to admit that she hadn’t thought too much about the couple being away for the weekend, Miyuki and Mami both took turns keeping her busy. There was almost never a moment when Rina was alone. Even when she was at work, she was kept busy enough to not think about the couple. Now that they were sitting in front of her, the thoughts that had been held back the entire weekend were flooding into her.

She was scared. What if Haruna really did leave her for Tomomi in the end? What if Haruna would never need her again? She couldn’t even handle the mere thought of Haruna not needing her. She and Haruna always shared a special bond; they would always turn to each other whenever they needed help. They were there for each other no matter what and Rina didn’t want to lose that. She didn’t want Tomomi taking away the one good thing she had in her life.

“What did you two do over the weekend?”

Rina’s eyes widened when she heard Miyuki ask her question. Her head shot up to stare at the black haired woman who had now taken to staring at the ceiling. Her knees were pulled up to her chest and her arms were draped over her knees, falling off the edge of them. Why would Miyuki ask a question like that? It didn’t seem like something she would be interested in knowing and Rina wasn’t sure if she was interested in knowing either…

“We didn’t do much,” Haruna spoke up. Rina turned to look at Haruna, the eldest girl now having her eyes shut and a content smile on her face. “We spent most of our time at the spring. It was really fun.”

“Haruna did request a trip to the Hakone Shrine before we came back though,” Tomomi added in. Haruna chuckled softly at how surprised Tomomi still seemed about her interest in the shrine. There was a lot of little things like that that Tomomi still had yet to learn and if she was always going to react like this then Haruna was going to have fun letting her find it all out little by little.

“Doesn’t surprise me, Haruna has always liked going to those places. It’s pretty soothing for her, isn’t it, Haru?” Mami mentioned. Haruna shrugged her shoulders in response.

“You could say that,” Haruna responded. From where she sat, Mami smiled at the couple in front of her. They were so happy together, they even seemed happier together now than when they left. The trip looked like it had done wonders for their growing relationship.

Mami’s eyes drifted over to Rina and the smile fell from her face. She was constantly forgetting about Rina and her feelings; it just wasn’t something that was out there. It was hidden and that often made Mami forget it was there. She knew Rina had to be hurting from the way the two were acting so she nudged Miyuki gently.

The older girl looked over at Mami who only nodded her head in Rina’s direction. Miyuki furrowed her eyebrows together, her head tilting to the side in confusion. Mami rolled her eyes, motioning her head towards Rina again. Miyuki let her eyes follow the direction Mami was discreetly pointing in. Once her eyes laid on Rina, she understood exactly what Mami was trying to tell her.

Miyuki pushed herself up off the floor, making her way over to where Rina sat. She reached down, grabbing both of Rina’s hands in her own, causing the young girl to look up at her. Miyuki gave her a sweet smile and she could feel Haruna’s eyes on her. She knew this action had gotten the elder girl’s attention, although she didn’t care about that. She didn’t care about Haruna anymore; she simply cared about making Rina feel better. Someone had to care about her feelings and clearly Haruna was not going to be the one to do it.

“You doing okay, Rina?” Miyuki asked her. Her fingers began to rub small circles on Rina’s skin, the younger girl smiling up at her. Rina nodded her head in response to Miyuki’s question.

“Of course,” Rina responded simply. Miyuki nodded her head, leaning down and giving Rina a kiss. She pushed herself away, letting Rina’s hands drop down to her lap. When she turned and connected eyes with Haruna, she gave the older girl a knowing smile before making her way back over to where Mami sat, taking her place back in her previous seat.

Haruna glared at Miyuki. Just what was that about? She could see the smile on Miyuki’s face, although it looked more like a smirk than a smile to Haruna. She was beginning to wonder if it was a mistake in getting to know Miyuki. Her feelings for the black haired woman were going up and down; it was all Miyuki’s fault too. One minute, Miyuki would be acting sweet and innocent. Her acting like that would make Haruna feel so guilty for being mean to her.

But the next minute, just when Haruna actually was deciding to be nice to her, she went and did things like this. She made comments or gave Haruna looks that simply rubbed her the wrong way. When Miyuki acted like this, it didn’t make Haruna want to be nice to her. If anything, it only made Haruna want to continue to be rude to Miyuki and try to chase her away from Rina.

At this point, Haruna had no idea how to feel about Miyuki. She wanted to get along with her for the sake of her friends but deep down, Haruna still harbored negative feelings for the girl who was so much like herself. She knew it sounded bad but there was a part of her that wished Rina and Miyuki would break up. There were better people out there for Rina than Miyuki.

“Haruna!”

The eldest brunette shook her head when she heard Tomomi say her name rather loudly, poking her cheek. She lifted her head, looking up at her girlfriend with a curious expression on her face.

“You’ve got to stop spacing out on me,” Tomomi taunted her. Haruna huffed at the teasing from her girlfriend, turning her head away from Tomomi. The younger girl giggled at her girlfriend’s faux anger. She used her free hand to pat Haruna on the head, only to have the older girl swat her hand away. The action really only encouraged more giggling from Tomomi.

“We should probably get going,” Haruna heard Mami say. She looked over at the blonde to see the younger girl stretching her arms over her head, a yawn escaping her.

“But it’s not that late,” Haruna pointed out.

“Yeah, well, some of us actually have to get up and go to school in the morning,” Mami shot back pointedly. Haruna laughed softly at Mami’s comeback.

“Yeah, you fools who actually go to school in the morning,” Haruna countered.

“Hey! I go to school in the morning too!” Tomomi protested her girlfriend’s comeback. Haruna looked up at Tomomi, smiling that familiar smile at her.

“Oh, Timo, you are a fool. But you’re my fool,” Haruna responded. Tomomi stuck her tongue out at her now laughing girlfriend for the comeback.

“You’re so terrible to me,” Tomomi whined with a pout. Haruna made a tsking sound with her tongue before leaning over and capturing Tomomi in a kiss.

“Am I forgiven?” she asked when the two girls separated. Tomomi only smiled at her, nodding her head in response. The two girls were interrupted when they heard Mami clear her throat. “What?” Haruna asked her.

“Well if you two lovebirds could come up for air long enough, I think it’s time we leave. It’s nearly 10 pm already and at least two of us have to get up early tomorrow. Are you staying the night over here, Tomomi?” Mami asked the brunette. The younger girl looked down at Haruna for approval, the older girl nodding in response.

“Looks like I am!” Tomomi replied enthusiastically. Mami smiled at the happiness and enthusiasm that was practically oozing from Tomomi. Mami nodded in response, stretching her arms above her head again before she set off towards where she had laid her bag, Miyuki trailing behind her.

She stopped when she got behind Rina, patting her one the head. Rina looked up and Mami gave her a knowing look, attempting to silently reassure her so Tomomi and Haruna wouldn’t hear or figure anything out. It was better to keep those two oblivious to all of this; things could only get worse if they figured it out.

When Rina returned her smile, Mami knew that the young girl had understood. She let her hand drop from Rina, picking up her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. Miyuki stopped behind Rina, except, unlike Mami, Miyuki wrapped her arms around Rina’s neck, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart,” Miyuki told her lightly.

“Of course,” Rina responded just as lightly. She tiled her head upwards and just as she did, Miyuki captured her in a kiss. She let Rina go, moving away from her and smiling when she caught a glimpse of Haruna sneaking a look at them. She really didn’t know what was up with that woman. Her emotions seemed so erratic. She’d be nice to Miyuki for a few moments and then be back to her usually rude self the next time. It was like she had a vendetta against Miyuki or something.

The duo left together, a soft chatter beginning between them as they closed the door to the apartment. Back in the apartment, a silence overtook the trio of girls. Haruna pushed her body upwards, peering around Tomomi’s body to look at Rina who was staring up at the ceiling. Haruna let her eyes fall off of Rina. Now that Mami and Miyuki were gone, she could finally ask her question.

“Did you guys notice anything weird about Mami?” Haruna asked suddenly. Both of the brunettes looked at Haruna, the same expression of confusion etched on their faces.

“What do you mean, Haru?” Tomomi asked. She brought a hand up, laying it lightly on Haruna’s back. She began to rub Haruna’s back gently as the girl continued to ponder her thoughts.

“She was quiet.”

“She wasn’t that quiet,” Tomomi pointed out. Haruna shook her head, pushing herself back against the couch. Another sigh left her as she let her head loll to the side, looking at both of the girls who were staring at her as well.

“No. For Mami, she was definitely too quiet. Mami is possibly the loudest and most obnoxious person I know. She has something to say about everything but tonight… She didn’t. She was so quiet and she didn’t make her usual sarcastic comments until the end. She was quiet for the majority of the night,” Haruna mentioned.

The girls had arrived home nearly an hour ago around 9 pm. For most of the hour, Mami didn’t seem to have a lot to say. She sat quietly, leaned against the wall, observing the four conversing girls. It wasn’t until the last few minutes did Mami start making her usual comments and comebacks. For Haruna, someone who had known Mami for ages, that was certainly strange behavior for the blonde.

“Maybe she’s just sick,” Rina suggested. Haruna once again shook her head at the suggestion.

“I doubt it, Rina. The only time Mami has ever acted like this is when something is wrong and she’s overthinking it.” Haruna furrowed her eyebrows together in a mixture of confusion and frustration. Her eyes snapped over to Rina as she asked her next question. “Did anything happen while we were away?”

Rina leaned back against the couch, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning her head to the side. The thoughtful expression appeared on her face as she wracked her brain for an answer. Nothing in particular had happened. At least, nothing that could possibly have made Mami upset like Haruna was suggesting. Rina was about to say that when something suddenly popped into her mind.

“Come to think of it, Mami was acting pretty down yesterday,” Rina answered impulsively. Nearly as soon as the thoughts had come into her mind, they were rolling off her tongue as well.

“She was? Did she say anything to you about it?” Tomomi asked Rina. Rina shook her head at Tomomi’s question.

“No, I don’t even think she noticed that I noticed. I never said anything to her about noticing it; I guess I didn’t think anything of it. I saw it when we were at the mall on Saturday. We were thinking of what to do next and I looked over at Mami, she looked pretty down. She never said anything about it though and when we finally did find something to do; she acted how she normally would. That’s why I didn’t think anything of it,” Rina explained to them.

Haruna blew out a huff of air, bringing a hand up to cover her eyes. If Mami was as upset as Haruna figured she was then that certainly wasn’t good. Mami was much like Rina when it came to emotions like that; she always bottled her emotions up. But Mami was also different than Rina, she could handle it. She didn’t explode like Rina did; she always kept herself calm and figured out ways to solve things herself. That didn’t mean it still didn’t upset Haruna though. Haruna wanted to help Mami just as Mami was always there to help her, but she never could if Mami would never let her. She couldn’t help someone who didn’t want her help.

“I don’t think we should worry too much,” Tomomi said. Her words had grabbed the attention of the two girls. Tomomi gave both of the girls a bright smile. “Mami is a strong person. If she ever needs our help, I’m positive that she would ask for it. Until then, I don’t think we should worry too much about her, it’s probably nothing too big.”

“You’re an awfully hopeful person, aren’t you?” Haruna mumbled out.

“You’re not hopeful enough, Haruna,” Tomomi countered her with. Haruna scoffed, pushing herself back up and away from the couch. Haruna let out an unexpected yawn, quickly covering her mouth as she did so. Tomomi got a sly smile on her face when she saw this. “Is my baby tired?” she cooed and pinched Haruna’s cheeks. Haruna in turn slapped Tomomi’s hands away, much to her girlfriend getting an even bigger smile.

“Don’t do that again,” Haruna growled. Haruna began rubbing her neck again as she looked over at Rina. “Are you tired as well, Rina?”

“A bit, yeah. I think we should all head to be a bit earlier today,” Rina suggested.

“I like that suggestion,” Tomomi agreed. Haruna laughed softly, dropping her hand from her neck and slowly rolling her head back and forth.

“I guess I’m outnumbered then, huh?” she said with a familiar smile. Rina giggled softly as Tomomi nodded, wrapping her arm around Haruna’s waist.

“Of course. You always are,” Tomomi teased her. Haruna rolled her eyes and shook her head as she pushed herself off the couch with a huff. She grabbed Tomomi’s hand, yanking her off the couch and forcing a small yelp out of her. “You could ask nicely.”

“Not after all your teasing,” Haruna told her. Tomomi opened her mouth to say something but shut it quickly, not having a comeback for Haruna. She really deserved that one. Haruna ignored her girlfriend, turning to Rina. “Do you have school tomorrow?”

“Well it is Monday, I usually have school on Mondays,” Rina replied. Haruna laughed softly at Rina’s response.

“Then I guess I’ll see you after school,” Haruna said. She broke herself away from Tomomi, moving over to Rina and giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead. “Goodnight, Rina.”

“Goodnight, Haru…” Rina said softly as her roommate turned on her heels, lacing her hands with Tomomi again. Rina watched silently as the eldest girl pulled Tomomi down the hallway, the girl shouting a goodnight to Rina as it happened.

When they were gone, Rina let out a sigh and fell over on the couch. This was how she knew Haruna just had to share her feelings. If Haruna didn’t return her feelings, why would she do things like that? People didn’t kiss their friends like that. Haruna had to like her. It was the only option, there was no other explanation.

But still… Rina couldn’t help but get the feeling she was increasingly losing Haruna to Tomomi.