If Jealousy Could Kill - Comments

This is really good. I've never read anything like this before but I like it. I like sassy Haruna as well, she is awesome. The summary caught my interest immediately and I might have to check back on this and see how this story develops. Uh oh, I can see a thing going on between Tomomi and Haruna and I don't think Rina would like that. Great job so far on this girl. I'm surprised that you dont' have many people commenting or reccing this but I recced it for you and commented. You're a great writer

I love how you wrote this. It's really down to earth and it gives everything a sense of realism. The dialogue and banter in the beginning between Haruna and Rina was interesting and funny, so it kept my attention. Haha, drama queen. I'm always using that word so Haruna scored some BPs with me on that one. I loved the sense of friendship between Tomomi and Mami, and their little spat about Mami yelling in her ear made me laugh. But with the ending of the first chapter and the summary, it makes me really curious as to what's going to happen now.

I think this story has a lot of potential and with your writing, I'm sure it's going to be amazing! Keep up the great work!

Haha, I really enjoyed reading this first chapter. While I read I kept forgetting that they were Asian and not American because their personalities are just so comedic and likable haha. I would suggest making the content wider and possibly making the text bigger.