I Could Be Your Perfect Disaster

I eventually began to get ready after agreeing to hang out with Matt. I did miss him, but I felt a little awkward still from the last time we hung out..I didn't want him to get the wrong idea with us.

At around 5 p.m, I heard my door bell ring. I went downstairs to see my mom had already opened the door. "Oh Leah, Matt is here for you." I laughed at her. "Really?! I had no clue." I said sarcastically, which made her roll her eyes at me. "Don't be out too late!" I sighed. "Don't worry, I'll get her home before midnight." Matt said, shooting my mom a smile. She smiled back and nodded.

We got into Matt's car and I buckled myself in. "Where are we going tonight?" He looked over at me and smiled. "Well, I was hoping we could go out to eat, if that's alright with you." I smiled back. "Sounds perfect."

We reached a nice restaurant after a 20 minute drive. My eyes grew wide when we pulled up to the parking lot. "Matt..this place is really expensive." He looked down and blushed. "I don't mind spending my money on you.." He mumbled. I felt my cheeks get red. He got out of the car and came around to open my door. I smiled at how sweet he was. We walked inside and he walked up to the desk in the front. "Reservation for Webb?" He got reservations for us? I bit my lip. I started to feel nervous about this whole thing. The waiter nodded. "Right this way please." Matt looked back and smiled at me, walking behind the waiter. I followed and he sat us down outside at a nice table with candles and a rose on it. "Matt this is so...incredible. You really didn't have to do all of this.." He blushed. "But I wanted to." I sighed.

Matt was such a great guy, but I really couldn't see us being more than friends. Then again...I'm not sure why. I mean, Matt is very attractive and incredibly sweet, I guess Josh was standing in the way of everything. Though, Josh and I weren't anything. So, what was I doing?

The waiter came back and took our orders. I felt bad making Matt spend a lot of money so I ordered something simple. Eventually, he came back with our food and it was great. Of course an expensive restaurant would have some of the best food. I feel like Matt and I had a great time. We talked about my life back home, and he talked to me about his family since he's never mentioned his parents around me before. He told me about his band and how he still needs to find a vocalist, which is what Josh was I'm guessing. I never knew Josh could sing.

Usually after I eat, I start to crave a cigarette. I was craving them more lately with how much I've been smoking around Josh. Luckily I had a pack in my bag, so I had to find a way to go outside without Matt getting suspicious. "Hey um, I gotta go make a quick phone call. I'll be right back." He nodded. "Okay, that's fine." He smiled at me and I gave him a half smile before walking around the building to the back.

I quickly lit up a cigarette, the tobacco filling up my lungs. I looked around. It was so dark, only the back lights of the restaurant lit up a small portion of where I was standing. Soon, I heard footsteps, but I couldn't see where it was coming from.

"Cigarettes are bad for you, you know." I listened. I knew that voice anywhere. Soon, I saw Josh appear from the darkness. My heart skipped a beat. No matter how comfortable I was with him, he still made me nervous. "You're a hypocrite for saying that." I took another drag, leaning my back against the wall of the building. Josh came closer to me and I could see him smirking. He pointed to the cigarette, indicating he wanted a drag so I directed him to come closer with my finger. I took a drag and Josh leaned against me, pressing me against the wall. He put his face close to mine, his lips inches away. I opened my mouth and slowly blew the smoke into his. He inhaled it instantly and backed away. I sighed. I loved having him close to me.

He exhaled and proceeded to ask, "So, who are you here with?" "Um.." Should I say Matt? I didn't know if I should tell the truth or not. What if he hated me for still hanging around Matt? I didn't want to risk losing Josh..

"No one important." I shrugged my shoulders. I felt bad that I just said that. He smirked at me again. He seemed to do that a lot. He came closer to me and took the cigarette out of my hand, taking another drag. "What are you doing here?" He exhaled before answering. "I was in that alley over there." He nodded his head towards the dark area. "Such a hoodlum, aren't you?" He chuckled. "You know it." I giggled and took my cigarette back. "So what do you say you come back over there with me? I was shooting up with my friends and I know you want to partake." He smiled deviously at me. I actually did. Really bad. But that would require leaving Matt, and ditching him is the last thing I wanted to do. "I don't know..." Josh stepped closer. "Oh come on, you know you want to." He grabbed my hand and slowly pulled me towards him. I pulled my hand away and sighed. He was making this so hard. "I..I can't.." He walked closer to me, pushing me against the wall again. My heart started pounding. "Why can't you?" He whispered in my ear, sending chills up my spine. It took all my strength to not run over there with him and leave Matt. "I just-" before I could say anything, he grabbed my face and kissed me hard on the mouth. I grabbed his shirt, tugging him closer.

I loved kissing him, I wish I could all the time. I could smell the heroin on him, and I wanted it. I tangled my fingers in his hair and he gripped my waist tightly. I loved this, I love the sparks flying through my body. Until...

"O-oh.." I heard from behind me. It was Matt.