The Angel's Game
Chapter 5
“Godamit, Kellin. You worry the fuck outta me.” Vic was now almost crying.
“I’m s-sorry..” I really was. I didn’t know this affected Vic like it did.
“That’s it. This stops now. Take your shirt off.” Vic wiped his tears and was now was wearing a face of anger. I decided not to question him. I hesitated and quietly sobbed as I slowly pulled my shirt over my head. “Now sit still.” Vic pinned my wrists above my head with one hand and forced my exposed hips down with the other. I looked down at him while he was examining my open wounds. I saw his eyes start to water again. We sat in silence for a moment.
Vic slowly lowered his head and began running his long, warm tongue over my cuts. I winced and felt my face getting darker and darker. His long, chocolate colored hair blinded his face from me as I felt the intricate designs he made across my stomach.
“Why would you do this, Kells?” he whispered, then went back to my abs.
“I hate myself, and my body. I hate you seeing me like this,” I couldn’t help but start sobbing lightly again. But instantly my wounds started tingling and the feeling of numbness overcame me. My sobs slowly faded as his tongue very slowly creeped its way up my body to my older scars. His tongue just happened to slip over my nipple, trying to get to a scarp, causing me to let a moan slip. My eyes widened and I bit my lip hoping he didn’t hear. But of course he did.
“What?” he asked, looking up at me. Now his eyes flashed with lust. I blushed darker.
“Nothing.”
“Wait, you mean this?” Vic leaned down again and flicked his tongue against my sensitive spot, causing me to lightly buck my hips up into his. Vic smirked.
“S-Stop.”
“Why?” he giggled.
“Cuz I like you and this isn’t fair-“ I cut myself off. Shit, now he’s gonna think I’m a total freak. “I’m sorry..”
“I like you too.” He smiled sweetly.
“N-No, like..like like.” Another tear fell.
“I know.”
“Really? But why? I’m gross, ugly, disgusting, an emotional wreck.”
“My emotional wreck.” He laughed. “If you wanna be.” Vic brought his face to mine. He looked between my eyes and the lips I was biting so hard on. “You’re bleeding.” Oh, I forgot. I let go and right as I did, Vic’s tongue lightly caressed my lips, making me blush harder. I finally freed one of my arms from his grip and aggressively pulled him in by his chin and kissed him deeply. I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t do teasing. I felt him lightly kiss back, but pull away with a guilty grin on his face. “Lemme take care of the rest of you.” I forced myself to smile back.
I watched him closely, concentrating everywhere he touched me as he unbuttoned my pants and pulled them off. I couldn’t stop the tear that was building up from running down my face. I hate my body. Vic will just think I’m disgusting. Like I said, rejection is my biggest fear. I focused on the irresistible tingling on my lips from his healing touch and I felt his tongue dance across various spots on my legs. When he was finished, he pulled my pants off and threw them aside. His smiling, caring face met mine, but then was filled with sorrow again.
“What’s wrong now?”
“I j-just..” I broke. He knew asking what was wrong was one of my triggers, but I know he just wanted to help. “I hate my body, and I t-think you would too..” I sobbed as I spilt my feelings. Vic laughed.
“Don’t think so negatively of yourself.” We looked at each other a moment longer. “Come here,” he laid on the bed next to me and opened his arms, like he did every night. Vic always held me when I slept, because the first few nights I couldn’t help but cry myself to sleep. It’s what I always did, but Vic’s touch was so calming.
I crawled up into his arms. He wiped my tears away and smiled so sweetly and innocently at me. I never wanted these moments to end. I always found myself longing for his affection and attention. I just wanted to please him. I don’t have urges to smoke or rebel anymore. I now live to make this man as happy as he makes me. I leaned in close to him, as a way of asking permission for a kiss. He answered by pressing his lips lightly to mine. Even if it was just a peck, his kiss was perfect. You could say it was almost angelic.
---
I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in. My face was buried in the crook of his neck. I looked up to see he was awake. He smiled down on me and kissed my forehead. I giggled and snuggled against his warm body.
“Good morning, Kellin.”
“Morning.” I smiled.
“Feeling any better?” I nodded. Vic is now the only one who can calm me down. “Don’t ever hurt yourself again. For me.” He brushed his warm hand across my cheek, making me blush.
“Okay.” I smiled at him. But my smile faded fast.
“What?” Vic asked.
“Are you still gonna go to dance with Hayley?”
“Well, I have to. I already said yes,” Vic answered simply. I frowned. I knew he liked me, but it wasn’t like we were together, I guess. “Doesn’t mean I don’t like you.”
“But you like her.”
“Not exactly. I felt bad.” He answered. Vic wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in. “I do like you. Just wait.”
“For what?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” He smiled and kissed my nose. “Now let’s get up, we have school.” I didn’t question him. Vic got up and got dressed. I watched. Vic had such a flawless body. Why couldn’t I look like him?
“Why didn’t you tell me you liked me before?” I asked.
“I could ask you the same thing, and our answers would be the same.” He smiled as he slipped a new shirt over his head. Suddenly, the feeling hit me. I jumped to my feet and dashed down the hall. “Where are you going?”
Half hoping Vic wouldn’t follow me, I bent over and released yesterday’s lunch up. Vic makes me eat all of my meals, but I hate it. I felt a hand on my back and another holding my hair away from my face. Whenever he does this, I can’t help but cry. Tears instantly fled from my eyes. I cried into my hands. Vic instantly wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I hid my face in his chest. I’m so embarrassed. Why does he have to know I’m weak? I try to be strong for him, but I can’t even fake it.
“You’re okay, everything is okay. Shhh,” Vic ran his hand up and down my back, comforting me.
“Kellin, get your shit together and go to fucking school. You’re late.” My mother yelled from downstairs.
“Bye, Kellin,” My dad called out.
“B-Bye.” I couldn’t control the shake in my voice. I ignored my mom and continued holding onto Vic.
“You should go,” he whispered in my ear sweetly.
“Kellin, what the fuck are you doing?” My mom was standing in the door way. Vic had told me it takes energy to make himself present, so I don’t think she saw him. I let go of the boy whose gaze never left me. I stood up and wiped my tears. “Stop crying, you pathetic fuck and get up.” She left me in the bathroom. I hate my mother, but I don’t know why I still let her harsh words get to me. I cried a moment longer into my hands. Vic watched, still on the floor, in sympathy. I approached the mirror and looked at myself. A mess. That’s all I’ll ever be. I splashed some water in my face and sauntered out of the bathroom. Vic followed. He watched me as I picked up my backpack. Vic didn’t grab his since my mom was still home, meaning he probably won’t ‘be at school today’. I threw it over my shoulder and ran down the stairs. I just need to get the hell out of there.
Vic and I walked the first block in silence. He made himself visible so I wouldn’t look like I was walking alone. He didn’t like the idea of people thinking I’m alone; I think he thinks something would happen to me. He kept close, but didn’t say anything, probably thinking it would set me off. I don’t blame him.
“I need a smoke.” I said out loud.
“No, you don’t.” Vic said sternly.
“Don’t tell me what I need.” I retorted. I reached in my pocket for my pack and grabbed one out. Vic took it from my hands and threw it in a nearby drain. “What the fuck? Those are expensive.”
“Another reason you don’t need them.” Vic shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Vic, stop. You don’t own me. I can do what I want.” I grabbed my pack again and grabbed another.
“I don’t care. You aren’t gonna do this shit under my supervision-“
“Your supervision?” I spat as I lit it up. “You babysitting me now? I said I don’t need your help!”
“Careful what you say, Kellin.” Vic warned.
“Shut up! I don’t need this.” I exhaled. Even just seeing the smoke made me feel better. No response. I turned to see what Vic had to say, but he was gone.
“I’m s-sorry..” I really was. I didn’t know this affected Vic like it did.
“That’s it. This stops now. Take your shirt off.” Vic wiped his tears and was now was wearing a face of anger. I decided not to question him. I hesitated and quietly sobbed as I slowly pulled my shirt over my head. “Now sit still.” Vic pinned my wrists above my head with one hand and forced my exposed hips down with the other. I looked down at him while he was examining my open wounds. I saw his eyes start to water again. We sat in silence for a moment.
Vic slowly lowered his head and began running his long, warm tongue over my cuts. I winced and felt my face getting darker and darker. His long, chocolate colored hair blinded his face from me as I felt the intricate designs he made across my stomach.
“Why would you do this, Kells?” he whispered, then went back to my abs.
“I hate myself, and my body. I hate you seeing me like this,” I couldn’t help but start sobbing lightly again. But instantly my wounds started tingling and the feeling of numbness overcame me. My sobs slowly faded as his tongue very slowly creeped its way up my body to my older scars. His tongue just happened to slip over my nipple, trying to get to a scarp, causing me to let a moan slip. My eyes widened and I bit my lip hoping he didn’t hear. But of course he did.
“What?” he asked, looking up at me. Now his eyes flashed with lust. I blushed darker.
“Nothing.”
“Wait, you mean this?” Vic leaned down again and flicked his tongue against my sensitive spot, causing me to lightly buck my hips up into his. Vic smirked.
“S-Stop.”
“Why?” he giggled.
“Cuz I like you and this isn’t fair-“ I cut myself off. Shit, now he’s gonna think I’m a total freak. “I’m sorry..”
“I like you too.” He smiled sweetly.
“N-No, like..like like.” Another tear fell.
“I know.”
“Really? But why? I’m gross, ugly, disgusting, an emotional wreck.”
“My emotional wreck.” He laughed. “If you wanna be.” Vic brought his face to mine. He looked between my eyes and the lips I was biting so hard on. “You’re bleeding.” Oh, I forgot. I let go and right as I did, Vic’s tongue lightly caressed my lips, making me blush harder. I finally freed one of my arms from his grip and aggressively pulled him in by his chin and kissed him deeply. I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t do teasing. I felt him lightly kiss back, but pull away with a guilty grin on his face. “Lemme take care of the rest of you.” I forced myself to smile back.
I watched him closely, concentrating everywhere he touched me as he unbuttoned my pants and pulled them off. I couldn’t stop the tear that was building up from running down my face. I hate my body. Vic will just think I’m disgusting. Like I said, rejection is my biggest fear. I focused on the irresistible tingling on my lips from his healing touch and I felt his tongue dance across various spots on my legs. When he was finished, he pulled my pants off and threw them aside. His smiling, caring face met mine, but then was filled with sorrow again.
“What’s wrong now?”
“I j-just..” I broke. He knew asking what was wrong was one of my triggers, but I know he just wanted to help. “I hate my body, and I t-think you would too..” I sobbed as I spilt my feelings. Vic laughed.
“Don’t think so negatively of yourself.” We looked at each other a moment longer. “Come here,” he laid on the bed next to me and opened his arms, like he did every night. Vic always held me when I slept, because the first few nights I couldn’t help but cry myself to sleep. It’s what I always did, but Vic’s touch was so calming.
I crawled up into his arms. He wiped my tears away and smiled so sweetly and innocently at me. I never wanted these moments to end. I always found myself longing for his affection and attention. I just wanted to please him. I don’t have urges to smoke or rebel anymore. I now live to make this man as happy as he makes me. I leaned in close to him, as a way of asking permission for a kiss. He answered by pressing his lips lightly to mine. Even if it was just a peck, his kiss was perfect. You could say it was almost angelic.
---
I woke up in the same position I fell asleep in. My face was buried in the crook of his neck. I looked up to see he was awake. He smiled down on me and kissed my forehead. I giggled and snuggled against his warm body.
“Good morning, Kellin.”
“Morning.” I smiled.
“Feeling any better?” I nodded. Vic is now the only one who can calm me down. “Don’t ever hurt yourself again. For me.” He brushed his warm hand across my cheek, making me blush.
“Okay.” I smiled at him. But my smile faded fast.
“What?” Vic asked.
“Are you still gonna go to dance with Hayley?”
“Well, I have to. I already said yes,” Vic answered simply. I frowned. I knew he liked me, but it wasn’t like we were together, I guess. “Doesn’t mean I don’t like you.”
“But you like her.”
“Not exactly. I felt bad.” He answered. Vic wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in. “I do like you. Just wait.”
“For what?” I asked.
“You’ll see.” He smiled and kissed my nose. “Now let’s get up, we have school.” I didn’t question him. Vic got up and got dressed. I watched. Vic had such a flawless body. Why couldn’t I look like him?
“Why didn’t you tell me you liked me before?” I asked.
“I could ask you the same thing, and our answers would be the same.” He smiled as he slipped a new shirt over his head. Suddenly, the feeling hit me. I jumped to my feet and dashed down the hall. “Where are you going?”
Half hoping Vic wouldn’t follow me, I bent over and released yesterday’s lunch up. Vic makes me eat all of my meals, but I hate it. I felt a hand on my back and another holding my hair away from my face. Whenever he does this, I can’t help but cry. Tears instantly fled from my eyes. I cried into my hands. Vic instantly wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. I hid my face in his chest. I’m so embarrassed. Why does he have to know I’m weak? I try to be strong for him, but I can’t even fake it.
“You’re okay, everything is okay. Shhh,” Vic ran his hand up and down my back, comforting me.
“Kellin, get your shit together and go to fucking school. You’re late.” My mother yelled from downstairs.
“Bye, Kellin,” My dad called out.
“B-Bye.” I couldn’t control the shake in my voice. I ignored my mom and continued holding onto Vic.
“You should go,” he whispered in my ear sweetly.
“Kellin, what the fuck are you doing?” My mom was standing in the door way. Vic had told me it takes energy to make himself present, so I don’t think she saw him. I let go of the boy whose gaze never left me. I stood up and wiped my tears. “Stop crying, you pathetic fuck and get up.” She left me in the bathroom. I hate my mother, but I don’t know why I still let her harsh words get to me. I cried a moment longer into my hands. Vic watched, still on the floor, in sympathy. I approached the mirror and looked at myself. A mess. That’s all I’ll ever be. I splashed some water in my face and sauntered out of the bathroom. Vic followed. He watched me as I picked up my backpack. Vic didn’t grab his since my mom was still home, meaning he probably won’t ‘be at school today’. I threw it over my shoulder and ran down the stairs. I just need to get the hell out of there.
Vic and I walked the first block in silence. He made himself visible so I wouldn’t look like I was walking alone. He didn’t like the idea of people thinking I’m alone; I think he thinks something would happen to me. He kept close, but didn’t say anything, probably thinking it would set me off. I don’t blame him.
“I need a smoke.” I said out loud.
“No, you don’t.” Vic said sternly.
“Don’t tell me what I need.” I retorted. I reached in my pocket for my pack and grabbed one out. Vic took it from my hands and threw it in a nearby drain. “What the fuck? Those are expensive.”
“Another reason you don’t need them.” Vic shoved his hands in his pockets.
“Vic, stop. You don’t own me. I can do what I want.” I grabbed my pack again and grabbed another.
“I don’t care. You aren’t gonna do this shit under my supervision-“
“Your supervision?” I spat as I lit it up. “You babysitting me now? I said I don’t need your help!”
“Careful what you say, Kellin.” Vic warned.
“Shut up! I don’t need this.” I exhaled. Even just seeing the smoke made me feel better. No response. I turned to see what Vic had to say, but he was gone.