Caught in the Middle

The next day I was sitting on the couch at midday, eating a bowl of cereal and watching Oprah reruns in my underwear, when my door burst open and Garrett and Kennedy bounded into the living room. I paused mid-chew and then quickly swallowed before speaking.

"Thank you for knocking on my door, I really appreciate it," I said sarcastically. Kennedy rolled his eyes at me and plopped himself down on the other end of the couch while Garrett tried hopelessly to avert his eyes from my half-naked body and sat in the armchair.

I continued to eat my cereal as they sat on the couch and looked at me. I looked back at them.

"So did you burst into my house just to watch TV with me or did you actually have a reason for trespassing?"

Garrett had given up trying to look away from my chest and was now staring at it. Kennedy sighed and hit him up the back of the head.

"We get it Garrett, she has a nice set of boobs. We need to talk about what we came here for instead of you staring at her rack." Kennedy was always the polite and charming boy.

"Right. So John's not real happy about you and Kennedy," Garrett began. I rolled my eyes.

"Please, like anything John thinks about me is going to bother me. I've gone without his input for seven years and I can do without it for as long as I want," I interrupted. That was slightly a lie. I did indeed care about what John thought of me.

Kennedy huffed. "We know you don't care Jessy, but John's all worked up about it and won't talk to me now because he thinks I took advantage of you."

"And you didn't?"

"Jessy, you and I both know that it was you that took advantage of me," Kennedy smirked and I blushed, fully aware that Garrett was listening in to this conversation, "Anyway, we need you to tell John that I didn't take advantage of you or that it was nothing else other than casual sex, no feelings involved, okay?"

I sighed. I didn't feel like talking to John at all, given that I was still mad at him for not hearing me out and judging me for sleeping with Kennedy, but I knew that if I still wanted to be friends with him then I knew I'd have to talk to him and explain everything. I also knew that this rift between Kennedy and John could cause problems between the band and I didn't want to be the reason they couldn't get along like they did before.

"Fine, I'll go over this afternoon and talk to him. You haven't told him anything about why I'm here, right?" I said the last part softer than before. Kennedy mimed zipping his lips.

"Haven't told a soul. Not Garrett, Jared, Pat or my mom." I knew that if Kennedy hadn't told his mom then he was trying his hardest to keep it a secret.

"Thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I would like to get back to watching Oprah give away diabetes in my underwear please."

Kennedy rolled his eyes, giving me a one armed hug and kiss on the top of the head as he stood up to leave, Garrett settling for waving awkwardly.

"Remember, go and talk to him, please." And with that they were gone.

I sighed deeply. My cereal had gone soggy and I was no longer hungry. I switched off the TV and headed upstairs to get changed and make myself look presentable before I got into my car and began driving to John's house.

* * * * *

Unlike Kennedy's place, nothing had changed. The fact that Jenny O'Callaghan had two sons younger than John that were most likely still at home would make the difference between the houses. The only difference was that there was another beat up car parked on the curb, however John's truck was nowhere to be seen.

I parked behind the car I knew to be Jenny's and walked up the pathway to the front door, feeling the nerves grow as I knocked on it. I waited for about 30 seconds until it was finally answered by a teenage boy.

"Jessy?" Shane O'Callaghan asked with his eyes wide. I grinned at him, remembering the fun times I used to have baby-sitting him with John.

"Hey Shane, how are you?" I asked him.

"I'm good, I'm about to go to college and play baseball," he said excitedly. I smiled wistfully as I thought about him going to college and actually being able to do something with his life afterwards.

"That's great. Listen, is John here?" I asked.

"He's gone out for a bit but he should be home soon. Come in, I'm sure mom's gonna be thrilled to see you," he said, opening the door and leading me inside.

He lead me to the kitchen where Jenny was baking, as she usually was when I visited the O'Callaghan household.

"Shane honey, who were you talking to?" she asked without looking up.

"Look who showed up after all these years," he smirked as Jenny looked up and caught sight of me. I gave her a small smile as she dropped what she was holding and rushed to my side to pull me into a big hug.

"Oh honey, I can't believe you're here!" she exclaimed as I returned the hug with a larger smile on my face.

"I'm back in town for a while so I thought I'd drop by," I said, masking the fact that I needed to urgently talk to John.

"That's so sweet of you! John isn't home at the moment, but you're welcome to stay until he's home, in fact we'd love to have you over for dinner, it's been so long since we've had guests," she enthused. Her eyes were practically begging me to stay and I had no choice but to agree.

Half an hour later I was seated on her couch with a cup of tea, watching Friends with Shane, when the door burst open and a string of curse words and stomping feet could be heard.

"John O'Callaghan, if I ever hear you using those words under my roof again I'll wash your mouth out with soap myself," Jenny scolded him.

"Remind me why I'm with the spawn of Satan herself again?" John ignored her comment and spat out at her.

"Because whenever you're not fighting with her, you love her, and that's the reason why you're still together. What happened this time?" Jenny asked him calmly as I listened in silently.

"I saw Jessy at the party on Friday night and some stuff happened and now Rachel thinks I'm getting too involved in it. Jessy is my best friend, I've known her forever, of course I'm going to get involved with it," John scoffed. My heart softened a little. If John still thought of me as his best friend then I knew he couldn't stay mad at me for sleeping with Kennedy.

"Well you can talk about whatever happened with Jessy, she's in the living room with Shane." I knew that was my cue to act natural and pretend I hadn't been listening in. John's footsteps grew closer and closer to the living room until I could feel his presence behind me.

"What are you doing here Jessy?" John asked sceptically.

"I just came for a chat, is that okay with you?" I shot back. He stared at me for a moment before pulling me from the couch and towards the balcony, shutting the sliding door behind us.

"What did you want to talk about?" he said harshly, his jaw rigid.

"I'm not gonna talk to you until you get the stick out of your ass and stop acting like I did something horribly wrong," I spat back, crossing my arms. John glared at me.

"You slept with Kennedy, I have the right to be angry with you," John said with a frown on his face. I glared back at him.

"Number one, you're not my boyfriend so I can sleep with whoever I want and it shouldn't affect you whatsoever, and number two, I don't have feelings for Kennedy, if that's what you're wondering. It was a strictly casual, drunken, onetime thing that will never happen again, got it? Now stop acting like I'm Satan."

John's posture loosened up a little, but he kept his stare fixated on me with his arms crossed. "Jessy, I can't help but be protective of you. I was like your brother for so many years and I can't change that so easily."

"Believe me, Kennedy is the last person you need to protect me from. If anything, Kennedy has been protecting me from your PMSing ass," I smirked.

"Hey, I do not PMS," he retorted. I giggled a little at his stunned face, then turned serious.

"But seriously, there's nothing going on between Kennedy and I and there never will be. It only happened because I was wasted and..." I trailed off.

"And?"

I shook my head. "Never mind. All that matters is that I'm not going to make it a regular thing to hook up with Kennedy while I'm drunk. I shouldn't have pressured him anyway-"

"Wait, you pressured him? Not the other way round?" John interrupted. I rolled my eyes.

"John you do know that girls ARE allowed to instigate things, right? The guy doesn't always have to start it."

"No, I just thought that Kennedy would have because, you know," John left the sentence hanging.

"Know what?" I pressed, eager to know what it was that John was so hesitant on telling me.

"Well, for starters, Kennedy is kind of a, for lack of a better word, slut when we're on tour. I've lost track of how many girls he's slept with on tour. And he also used to think you were hot back in high school, so there's that as well."

"John, you used to think I was hot back in high school but obviously that doesn't mean shit now. Kennedy and I have both agreed that it's not going to happen again and there's no feelings involved, so you can stop being mad at us and move on from this. This conversation is over." I opened the balcony door and stepped back inside, feeling slightly aggravated from John's lack of acceptance of the situation.

"Jessy, come on, don't be like this," he said as we entered the living room again and I joined Shane on the couch as he was still watching TV.

"Be like what?" Shane asked, catching the last bit of our conversation.

"Keep out of it Shane," John said, but I ignored him.

"Your brother has a log up his ass because I slept with Kennedy when I was drunk." Shane scoffed.

"What's it to you man? It's not like you're dating or anything, be happy that Kennedy is getting laid while he's home." I struggled to hold back my laughter as Shane was so blasé about the situation. John just turned on his heel and stomped off to his bedroom. "I think John's the one that needs to get laid."

* * * * *

Dinner was slightly awkward to say the least. John was still in a shitty mood over our conversation from earlier, which was easily picked up on at the dinner table. With John's lack of conversation with anyone, the conversation topics were scarce and awkward as Jenny asked me how college went and if I had a job. It was then that I realised that I'd basically wasted the last seven years of my life and I had nothing interesting to tell anyone. John and the rest of the guys had travelled the world and met so many new people and done so many things that they had a lot of stories to tell, while I spent seven years going to classes and sitting in an apartment with people that now mean nothing to me.

Once dinner was finished, I helped Jenny to carry the dishes to the kitchen, despite her protests that I was a guest and that she had sons to do this for me. It wasn't until I was seated at the breakfast bar while she was putting the dishes into the dishwasher that the conversation really started.

"Honey, how are you really? I can tell that there's something that's been bothering you," she said quietly, looking over at me.

"I'm fine, Jenny," I replied half-heartedly. She put down the dish she was holding and walked over to the breakfast bar.

"Jessy, I'm a mother. I can tell when there's something bothering you or something is making you upset. What is it dear?"

I looked down at the counter, not wanting to meet her kind gaze."I just kinda realised that I spent the last seven years doing nothing with my life. I almost flunked out of college, I have a degree that is practically useless, I had no friends or job in Chicago and the one person that was holding me there gave me the one reason to leave. I thought I'd actually be doing something with myself by now, that I'd have all these college stories to tell and that I'd be a lot wiser than I am."

A tear slipped down my cheek and I brushed it away as Jenny put her arm around me. "Honey, I know what you're going through. When I was eighteen I went off to college, studied law, and I flunked so badly I barely even got through a year. I had to come back home too, but that's when I met John Senior and I've never been happier. Don't base your happiness on your success in college or your career, because one day those things won't matter and the things that do will be sitting by your side for the rest of your life."

Jenny pulled me in tighter and I leaned into her embrace as she kissed me on the top of my head.

"Thanks Jenny, I've just been all over the place the last couple of weeks, with leaving Chicago and getting settled back in here," I said standing up from my seat.

"It's okay Jessy, we've all been there and I know you'll pull through and make the right decisions. You heading home?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it's starting to get late, my parents are probably wondering where I am."

She pulled me in to another hug. "Drive safely, say hi to your parents for me." She pulled away from the hug and turned towards the living room area. "Shane, John, come say goodbye to Jessy."

John appeared from around the corner while Shane's footsteps could be heard coming from the living room. I furrowed my brow. Had John been listening in on our conversation? Shane was the first one to step forward though.

"It was good seeing you again Jessy, come see me again before I go to college?" I laughed at the younger O'Callaghan's eagerness.

"Of course I will buddy, you know I love spending time with you," I said playfully. I pulled back and John was still standing in the same position.

"I'll walk you out to your car," was all he said as I picked up my bag and walked out the door, waving to Jenny and Shane.

We walked down the path and stopped as we reached the driver's side door of my car. He ran his hand through his hair, something he did whenever he was nervous or anxious.

I opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong, but he beat me to it. "Listen, I overheard some of your conversation with my mom and I'm sorry for acting like I was earlier. It wasn't fair for me to treat you like that when I didn't know what was going on, and yeah, I'm sorry."

I sighed. "It's okay John, you didn't know, and you still don't know a large part of it, but I understand. Kennedy's your band mate as well as your friend and I don't want to cause anything between you that could harm the band or your friendship."

John gave me a small smile and pulled me into a hug, mumbling "I'm sorry" into my hair. I had a feeling that he was saying sorry for more than tonight.