We Are One

Matt flinched at the sound of Alex’s high pitched laughter, teeth grinding in aggravation. Normally he loved his boyfriend’s laughter, it made his whole body fill with warmth, but not today. Not right now. Not when it was Vic Fuentes was the one making Alex laugh.

Don’t get him wrong, Matt didn’t actually dislike Vic or the rest of his band, but ever since Alex had drunkenly decided that Vic was a great snuggle-buddy this tour, it was like pure fiery hatred spiked in his blood every time the skinny Mexican was around Matt’s boyfriend. Every time he had his arms around Matt’s boyfriend. Every time Alex had his arms around Vic.

And Matt couldn’t say anything either. He couldn’t let Vic know what he was thinking, and he sure as hell couldn’t let Alex know what he was thinking. The one time Matt had voiced his opinions on Alex’s flirting before (that time with Tay Jardine), Alex hadn’t spoken to him for a week. So not worth the hassle. Instead, Matt gritted his teeth and tried his best to ignore the situation. Only a few more weeks and Vic would be gone from Alex’s everyday life. Then everything would be back to normal.

It wasn’t like Alex didn’t know how jealous Matt got either. Hell, everyone knew how jealous Matt got. Uncontrollable jealousy was kind of his thing, especially when he came to any pretty girl or boy that looked Alex’s way. Alex was his everything and if he lost him, Matt didn’t know what he would do. It was just the same old story. Matt gets jealous very easily and Alex always seems to forget that and flirts anyway. The same old story, and yet it broke his heart all the same.

Another burst of laughter.

Matt gritted his teeth even more.

“You know if you said something to Alex, he would stop,”

Matt snapped out of his angry thoughts to see Zack standing by his side, staring down at him with a sad smile. Zack Merrick should know better than that. He was there the last time Matt confronted Alex.

“He would also stop talking to me, so no,” Matt muttered, glaring back over at Vic, who was waving his arms about, and Alex, who was clutching his stomach in laughter.

“This isn’t fair to you, Flyzik,” Zack replied seriously.

Matt just grunted, making Zack roll his eyes and walk away. No-one seemed to understand how Matt had to deal with this. Alex always flirted. Always. And there was nothing Matt could do about it.

Didn’t stop him getting overwhelmingly jealous every time though.

“Matt! Matty! Vic just said the funniest thing! Vic, you have to tell him again!”

Matt flinched, not turning around. It was one thing for Alex to flirt but to involve Matt too? No. No way.

“I’m busy, Alex,” Matt grunted.

Matt closed his eyes as he felt Alex wrap his arms around him from behind, chin resting in the crook of Matt’s neck.

“Matt why won’t you hang out with us?” Alex murmured.

Because he didn’t want to watch Vic undressing his boyfriend with his eyes upclose?

“I have better things to do,” Matt retorted.

“Better than me?” Alex pouted.

No. Never.

“Yes. Besides, I’m sure Vic would prefer hanging out with you alone,” Matt muttered.

He didn’t wait for Alex’s reaction, just pushed his arms away and walked off. Well that went well. Not.

Alex didn’t even call after him, just walked back over to Vic, frowning only until Vic started talking again.

This was just the way it always had been, and always will be. There was nothing Matt could do about it.

*

3 days. It only took 3 days for Matt’s world to change.

Matt had never felt his blood boil before, never felt this angry, never felt this humiliated, and it was all Vic Fuentes fault. And Alex’s. Definitely Alex’s.

What had started with Alex inviting Vic to perform A Love Like War had led to Vic kissing Alex in the middle of the stage, in front of all the fans, in front of the world. Matt felt like his whole world had frozen, breath hitching in his throat, head buzzing, not being able to focus on anything else. How could Alex do that to him? Flirting was one thing, but this?

It was only when Danny Kurily shook his shoulder, asking if he was alright, that Matt snapped out of his thoughts. Jack, Zack and Rian were all sending him worried glances, but Matt didn’t dare look at them. How could he? Alex had just humiliated him in front of thousands of people.

“Flyzik, are you okay?” Danny repeated.

“How could he do that to me? How could Alex do that to me?” Matt asked softly.

“I don’t know,” Danny murmured.

“I thought he cared about me,” Matt choked.

“He does, Flyzik…”

“I thought he loved me,” Matt interrupted.

“He does, Flyzik…”

“I have to go. I can’t be here right now,” Matt whimpered.

“But…”

Matt had walked away before Danny could say anything further, not even daring to look out at the stage again. Matt didn’t trust himself not to do anything stupid. Not at all. Not when Alex was concerned. Not with his heart breaking like it was.

With a growl, Matt stormed out of the venue, intent on walking his humiliation off. There was no way he wanted to be anywhere near Alex right now. He had crossed the line this time.

*

“Dude, what the fuck?”
“Flyzik’s so mad at you,”
“Where is he? Where’s Matt?”
“Walked out before he could kill you,”
“And Vic no doubt,”
“Shut up Barakat,”
“You fucked up big time, Gaskarth,”
“Fuck. Fuck. Where the fuck is Matt?”
“How do I know? He doesn’t want to talk to you, Gaskarth,”
“And I don’t blame him”

*

It was hours before Matt appeared again, seconds before bus call. He counted his blessings that he’d chosen a bunk on the crew bus this tour. He still didn’t want to look at Alex’s face.

“Matt! Where the fuck have you been? We’ve been worried sick!” Grieco scowled, standing up from the couch.

Matt ignored him, walking straight through the bus to the bunks. He didn’t care to listen to the rest of the crew’s frustrated murmurs. He knew that Danny, Grieco, Ian, Jeff, Evan and Vinny meant well, but right now he just didn’t care. One night of moping, that’s all he asked for. Was that so hard?

Eventually he heard someone walking down to the bunks.

“Hey, Flyzik, mind if I talk for a second?”

Vinny. Huh. That wouldn’t have been his choice to send down. Maybe that’s why they chose him.

Matt just grunted, moving his curtain a little so he could see his friend’s face. Vinny smiled at him, but Matt could see the concern in his eyes and immediately felt bad. It wasn’t like him to go storming off like he did. He must’ve freaked his friends out.

“You okay?” Vinny asked.

Matt really wanted to shout the fucking obvious at him, but what was the point?

“Would you be?” Matt sighed.

“Stupid question, right?” Vinny mused.

Matt chuckled softly, nodding. Yeah, it was really.

“Alex was freaking out when he got off stage, y’know,” Vinny said bluntly.

“Good. He deserved a punch in the face for what he did, so he got off lightly,” Matt muttered.

“Did he? He’s had the entire band and crew yelling at him since Vic kissed him, you disappeared and he hasn’t seen you to talk it out. He’s suffering right now,” Vinny said.

“If you’re supporting him, I swear…”

“Dude, no, I’m not supporting him. I’m just saying, everyone knows what a flirt Alex is. It’s just part of who he is. This time it went too far – but he’s kissed Jack on stage before, what makes this any different?” Vinny frowned.

“Because with Jack it was just a stage thing. He’s been flirting with Vic for weeks and it’s driving me mad. That kiss was the last straw,” Matt groaned.

The last fucking straw.

Vinny stayed silent for a couple of seconds, chewing his bottom lip, before he looked back at Matt again.

“What are you going to do?” Vinny asked softly.

“No fucking idea. What I should do is break up with him,” Matt sighed.

Relationships are far too much hassle. This was why Matt hadn’t bothered in so long before Alex. And after months of Alex insisting that they wear the label boyfriends, Matt thought that maybe, maybe he’d been wrong about relationships being shitty. Looks like he’d been right all along.

“But you love him,” Vinny frowned.

Matt smiled sadly. What did love have to do with it?

“Yeah I do. And I thought he loved me too,” Matt said quietly.

Vinny swore under his breath, only making Matt feel worse.

“Look, just have a think about it tonight, yeah? Don’t make up your mind just yet,” Vinny said firmly, standing up.

What? Why?

“Please? For all of us?” Vinny pleaded when he saw Matt’s face.

Fuck. Fine.

“I’ll think about it,” Matt nodded.

Vinny smiled and squeezed his shoulder, before leaving Matt to mope in his bed. This was officially the worst day ever, and it was all thanks to Alex Gaskarth.

*

“Matty? Can we talk?”

It was the next morning now, and Matt was avoiding everyone by doing a health and safety check of the venue while they had breakfast. Clearly not everyone got the message though.

“Fuck off, Alex,” Matt growled, not turning around to look at him.

Matt heard Alex huff and walk over to him, starting up the itch of irritation again.

“I’m serious, Matt. We need to talk. I deserve that much,” Alex demanded.

Matt scowled and spun around, the itch of irritation turning into a flare of anger at the sight of Alex standing with his hands on his hips. How the hell did he think he had the right to act like this? Like Matt was the one in the wrong?

“What you deserve is me walking out of your life right now for the way you treat me,” Matt said angrily, slamming his clipboard down on the nearest table.

Alex’s attitude crumbled a bit, hurt flashing across his eyes. Damn it. Why did that make Matt feel bad?

“I…”

“No, Alex! You humiliated me in front of hundreds of people in the audience, and thousands of people who watched it broadcasted! Completely and utterly humiliated me!” Matt snapped.

Alex stayed silent for a couple of seconds, chewing his bottom lip.

“Please don’t break up with me, Matt,” Alex said softly.

“Why not? Why shouldn’t I deserve the chance to be with someone that doesn’t flirt with every pretty face, let alone someone that doesn’t kiss another guy!” Matt snapped.

“I didn’t kiss him! Vic kissed me!” Alex insisted.

“Maybe, but you kissed back and you’ve been flirting like a bitch in heat ever since this tour started. I’m fucking sick of it,” Matt scowled.

Alex blushed slightly, making Matt roll his eyes. Of course. Of course Alex knew exactly what he was doing.

“I didn’t think you’d noticed. You didn’t say anything,” Alex mumbled.

Fucking ridiculous.

“Yeah because that worked out so well last time,” Matt retorted.

Alex just chewed his bottom lip again, twisting his hands in the hem of his hoodie. If he was going to be this oblivious, then there was no way Matt was sticking around.

“As nice as this chat was, I have work to do. Go suck Vic off or something, he’s much better company,” Matt said angrily.

Matt turned round before he saw Alex’s face crumple in hurt, but he didn’t get far enough away before Alex jumped on his back, clinging to the older man for dear life, Matt just managing to keep his balance and stay upright. What the fuck was Alex doing?!

“You’re not leaving me,” Alex said firmly, burying his face in Matt’s neck.

“I don’t have time for this, Alex,” Matt growled.

Alex really was such a child sometimes.

“Then you can keep walking and working as I talk. It’s my turn to talk and your turn to listen,” Alex insisted.

Matt scowled but didn’t interrupt, picking up his clipboard once more. He would give Alex one chance. One last chance or that was it.

“I know I’ve hurt you, and I know I keep hurting you, but I don’t know how to deal with it. I know you hate it when I flirt but I hate it when you get so jealous over nothing! You need to let it go!”

Matt gritted his teeth. If this was Alex’s version of an apology…

“I love you, okay? I love you and I know that I don’t show it nearly enough. But you are the only person I ever want, and ever will want, Matt. You make me a better person. And yes, I flirt with other people a lot, but it doesn’t mean anything! Flirting is just banter to me. You’re the only person I want touching me, kissing me, filling me, and that’s how it’s always going to be. I don’t want anyone but you, Matt. I love you,”

Alex hesitated slightly, Matt just staying silent, praying that he wouldn’t cry. He couldn’t cry, not now.

“I love you,” Alex repeated.

Matt’s eyes stung with tears, his hands shaking a little. Why the hell did Alex have to go saying things like that? How did he know exactly how to pierce Matt’s heart?

“I really hate you sometimes,” Matt choked.

“But you love me too,” Alex said softly.

Matt nodded, helping Alex to the floor again. Alex immediately clutched at Matt’s shirt, standing as close to him as possible.

“I’m sorry,” Alex murmured.

“I know,” Matt said, brushing Alex’s fringe from his eyes.

Alex chewed his bottom lip slightly, before leaning his head up and pressing his lips to Matt’s, softly, slowly, sweetly kissing him. Fuck. Matt had missed this. Matt had missed Alex’s kiss, and touch, and fuck everything about him. How could he ever leave this?

Eventually he broke away, Alex smiling goofily up at him.

“So are we okay now?”

“I guess so,”

“That didn’t sound too promising,” Alex frowned.

An idea popped into Matt’s head. He knew exactly how to let Vic know who Alex belonged to.

“Well I still think you need to make it up to me a little bit more,” Matt said innocently.

Alex smirked. Oh good. He’d caught on quickly. Maybe all wasn’t lost.

“Maybe you’re right. Maybe I might just have to take you into that dressing room and show you exactly how much you mean to me,” Alex purred.

Fuck. Matt started to harden just at the promise in Alex’s eyes. Fuck.

Alex smirked even more at Matt’s reaction, hand reaching down to cup Matt through his jeans, squeezing slightly, enough to make Matt moan.

“Okay, yeah, move,” Matt choked, pushing Alex backwards into the room behind them.

Alex just laughed and dropped to his knees as soon as the door was shut.

Matt just grinned. There was no way the world wasn’t going to know that Alex was his after this.