Tangled in the Great Escape

The ding woke me up from a 2-minute nap that I accidentally took while riding the elevator up to the office. I groaned and pushed my body off of the elevator wall and out into the bullpen area.

I couldn’t bring myself to work today after staying up all night, but I need the punch in the hours if I want to complete my contract in time. I felt my eyes screaming and begging for me to just close them and let them rest, so once I reach my cubicle, I threw all my stuff on the carpeted floor and let my head fall onto the desk. The nap probably lasted for 3 minutes before my peaceful sleep was disturbed by a shrill laughter from the last person I wanted to see.

“What do you want?” I sighed and gave Robyn a disgruntled look.

“You look like shit, too busy shagging the photographer, eh?” She said, smirking, taunting me.

“Fuck off” I mumbled, putting my head back down to my desk.

“Everybody knows, you know? About your little extra curricular activities. Just to let you know, we don’t appreciate office sluts here in England. Maybe it is acceptable from where you’re from, but here, we are expected to act classy”

I wasn’t really offended by what she said, honestly I’ve heard worse. But I was really in no mood to deal with any bullshit today so I cracked a little. I banged my fist against the desk and sat up, facing a startled Robyn.

“This is what you call classy? Bitch, you need a dictionary”

She bit the inside of her cheek and walked away. I smiled in victory and thought about going back to sleep, but the blinking light on my Mac computer caught my eye, almost as if it was begging for me to do some work. I sighed, sat up and stretched out my arm before deciding to go fix myself a cup of steaming hot coffee. Once I was back in my cubicle, I set down my cup of Joe and fire up my computer. I warm up for about 20 minutes, checked Pinterest blogs, watched a few videos on Youtube, and checked my email before I actually do any work.

Eden appointed me to do the feature on this month’s issue, ‘This Generation’s Top Guitar Players’. It was due for editing this afternoon but I asked Eden for an extension because I just couldn’t focus on any work the past week. I wasn’t sure whether or not Eden knew about the whole incident, but the fact that she easily gave me an extension; I’m going to put my money on ‘she knows’.

The blinking cursor on my Word processor felt like it was taunting me, as I’m struggling to even form a single sentence. What used to be such a natural thing for me to do becomes something entirely alien that it frustrates me to the point I feel like banging my head against the keyboard.

I leaned back my chair, trying to shake off the weird funk that I apparently had fallen into. London had changed me; it made me soft, vulnerable, and weak. Most of all, it made me stupid, yanked the creativity out of me and left me dull and unimaginative. Also, I just realize, ever since I came here I’ve been nothing but a whiney, bitter, sad little bitch and I just hate it!

I groaned.

As if God knows that I’m slowly going insane, while I was busy racking my brain to come up with a catchy first liner, my computer dinged, alerting me of a new message. I opened the Mail window and saw that Mike had sent me a message.

From: m.c.fuentes@firewire.com
To: c.hayes@futureplc.com

Hi Cas, are you working? You must be working.
Thought this might cheer you up :-p

My face broke into a million dollar smile when I saw that he attached pictures of Frenchi and baby Axel. It wasn’t until I felt like my vision got blurry that I realize that I was actually tearing up! I’ve never seen Mike looking like such a grown up, a mature grown up until I saw him holding Axel. Parenthood suits them so badly it’s crazy!

From: c.hayes@futureplc.com
To: m.c.fuentes@firewire.com

Are you kidding me with the cuteness?!
You’re making me cry at work, Mike. Not cool.
I’m so jelly right now I almost hate you for this.
Jk. I love you, thanks for cheering me up. I’m so going to print this and put them
on the fridge.

Say hi to Frenchi for me, I miss you guys so much.
OH! From now on I expect DAILY PICTURES!

I sent the message and close the Mail window, my smile dropped when I was presented with the blank Word processor.

God damn it.

-

It has been almost 4 and a half hours of sitting and typing on the computer, my hands and back felt like it was going to break any minute. I stared at the screen, looking at what I’ve done so far, 3 pages of absolute shit. But hey, it’s better than nothing; I can re-read it and maybe get inspired from there.

I stretched my body and snatched my phone; I smiled when I saw that it was 12:35 PM, which means lunchtime. I was in dire need of refreshments so I quickly gather my things and walk out the bullpen area before I run into Robyn or her army of snarky bitches. I went down the packed elevator and got out as soon as the cart reaches the lobby, too many people in such a small space; it was making me feel a little claustrophobic. I walked with my gaze focused on my wallet, making a mental count of how much I have and what I can get for lunch, not realizing that I’m walking straight into a man standing outside the building’s emergency exit.

“Oh sorry” I said, taking my sight off my wallet and into the blue eyes, belonging to none other than Callum Andrews. “Hey! You!”

“What’s up with you?” He chuckled. “off to get lunch?”

“Yeah, you?”

“Same here, I was waiting for my mate but I don’t think he’s coming down anytime soon. Wanna go?” He put on his shades.

“Sure” We walked together towards what Callum called ‘The Eat Street’, it’s basically a street packed with restaurants.

After a bit of arguing here and there, we finally decided to grab fish and chips at Fish & Co. I let Callum order for me since I’ve never been there before and while we waited, I took out my cigarette.

“Those things are bad for you” He shook his head and fiddled with his sunglasses.

“Oh hey Mom” I rolled my eyes and he laughed.

“How’ve you been doing? Haven’t seen much of you lately”

“Been better, I’ve fallen into this depressing funk and I need to get out of it” I sighed and took a drag.

“You need to have some fun, why didn’t you call me?”

“I’m not that kind of person Callum, you have a girlfriend,” I said seriously.

“Wha– That’s not what I meant!” He said with a shocked look on his face.

I burst into laughter. “I know, I was joking” I punched his arm lightly. “I don’t know, I guess I needed to get it out of my system on my own”

“Can we talk about something else?” I said when I felt that the awkward silence was creeping in.

He smiled and nodded.

We went to talk about music, he helped me with my article by dissing most of my choices of guitar players, calling me an idiot, then really helped me by giving me some names.

“Ugh where is my food?” I groaned, looking around the restaurant.

“Well what do you expect, it’s lunch time,” He said, not looking up from his phone.

I made a disapproving noise and stood up. “Okay, well, I’m going to the bathroom”

Callum scooted so I could get out from the booth, I didn’t actually need to go to the bathroom, I was just bored and I felt like freshening up.

“Hey, you’re phone is ringing” Callum called out after a few steps.

I turned around. “Who is it?”

“I don’t know, unknown number” He shrugged.

“Take it, take a message” I waved him off and continue to the bathroom.

I stood in front of the dirty mirror with the chipped paint job and examine what I could see. For someone who feels like the whole world is going to shit, I didn’t look pretty bad. I fixed my hair and touch up my dark magenta lipstick (which was stupid because I haven’t eaten yet) before going back to my booth. Thankfully, when I got there my Philly fish and chips was waiting to be devoured.

“Who was it?” I said once I was seated.

“I don’t know, when I answered the call was dropped” He gave me back my phone.

“Weird” I said and with no hesitation, I began to munch away.

[center***



Today was Vic and I’s turn to visit Mike and Frenchi at the hospital, since Jaime and Avela have a family thing to attend to. The doctor said Frenchi was making an incredibly fast recovery, she was already up and walking only 5 hours after the delivery! Of course the doctors and nurses were basically yelling at her to stay in bed, but you know Frenchi.

Axel is also doing great, his vitals were excellent and his bilirubin level was way low it’s incredible. Frenchi could actually be discharged today, but it is mandatory for newborns to stay in the hospital for a minimum of 2 days, so they thought they’d stay and wait for Axel to get the ‘ok’ to go home.

“Hey, how you guys doing?” Vic asked as we entered the room.

“Hey guys! Oh she’s great, look at her, I mean, she’s amazing” Mike was smiling and gushing over Frenchi like a kid.

“What’s wrong with him?” I asked Frenchi with a chuckle.

“Apparently the sight of me breastfeeding my son is so amazing, he’s in love with me all over again” She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling nonetheless.

“Right. Gross” Vic closed his eyes and shuddered.

“It’s beautiful! You immature pencil case!” Mike glared.

We must’ve looked incredibly confused because Frenchi just laughed. “He’s trying to cut down on the swearing, he’s been using literally anything as a substitute”

Vic and I laughed and Mike’s face sulked. “Yesterday yelled out ‘water jug’ when he hit his head against my bed railing” Frenchi continued, which made our laughter worse.

“Yeah keep laughing, I’d like to see the two of you try”

“Alright, alright” I said, trying to stop the fit of laughter.

“So, how is my nephew doing?” asked Vic.

“He’s doing great, his vitals came back great, his bilirubin count is way low so they’re just keeping him here for observation, you know, in case”

“Why isn’t he in the room?” I asked.

“They keep the baby in the baby room during visiting hours, people come in and they bring germs and stuff”

The next thirty minutes we spent laughing and talking about literally whatever pops our mind. For a while, I think, both Frenchi and Mike almost forgot they were a parent to a very handsome little baby boy. That is, until the nurse came in to the room.

“It’s time for your baby’s feeding, he’s getting a bit fussy,” She said with a smile, holding the door open. Mike jumped from his seat to help Frenchi off the bed and the three of them went out to see Axel.

I stretched my legs and brought them up to the couch while Vic took charge of the remote and began channel surfing.

“So, how’s Cassie?” He said nonchalantly.

I rolled my eyes. It is becoming a habit of his to talk about Cassie whenever it’s only the two of us. “I don’t know, shut up about it”

“What about the email we sent a while ago?” He turned to me and grinned.

“That was incredibly stupid and no reply,” I said flatly.

“Oh come on, you’re not going to even try?” He was now facing me fully.

“I did, nothing came out of it so I’m not going to do it again” I shrugged. I was honestly kind of done with trying.

“Dude, just call her. How is she going to take you seriously, take your efforts seriously when you don’t even do it?”

“I don’t want to embarrass my self and I don’t have her new number”

“Fuck that, this is Cassie! She’s the love of your life and you’re afraid of making a fool of yourself? You’re an idiot” He turned his back to me and face the TV.

I sighed. He has a point.

But I don’t even know if I can take another rejection, I know I haven’t done much to get in touch of Cassie, but it’s only because just the thought of it scares the crap out of me.

“I’m scared dude, seriously. I’m terrified”

He turned to me and shrugged. “It’s love, it’s fucking petrifying”

I sighed and had this mental battle with myself until I finally gave up and asked Vic for Cassie’s London number. I had it typed on my phone, I just needed to press the ‘call’ button but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“Oh for fuck’s sakes” Vic reached over and pressed the button. Leaving me with my heart in my mouth.

It rang once. Twice.

“Hello?”

If things weren’t fucked up before, it is now. My heart felt like it just fell to the floor when I heard a man’s voice, instead of Cassie’s. I quickly hang up the call and buried my phone deep in my jacket pocket.

My heart was beating a million times faster and I felt like I was going to throw up. My mind was racing, ugly thoughts swarming my brain as I tried exceptionally hard to keep my breathing steady.

Who was that?

Was Cassie with a guy?

Are they together?

Why am I still trying?

“Dude, you okay?” Vic’s voice brought me back from my thoughts.

I swallowed hard and nodded slowly. “Yeah…”

“What did she say? Did she say anything?”

“She didn’t have to” I mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing. Uh… I gotta get to the bathroom” I stood up quickly and left the room.

I walked straight to the parking lot, with Cassie-filled thoughts still occupying my brain. After fumbling with the keys, I managed to get in the car before my meltdown. I banged my fist against the steering wheel and let out a massive, throat-ripping scream before speeding off from the hospital parking lot.

Fucking hell.



The day was flesh melting hot, you could literally fry eggs on the hood of my car. This kind of heat and a killer hangover isn’t the best combination to wake up to, but what can you expect from San Diego in June. My head was pounding and my mouth was so fucking dry, it’s literally impossible to swallow.

“Hey, are you awake?”

I looked up and saw Lauren peeking in the doorway.

“Hm”

“I’ve been knocking all morning, I guess last night was pretty bad huh?” She came in and closed the door behind me, setting a glass of water and two advils on my nightstand before taking a seat next to me.

I took the pills and water and downed it in three big gulps.

“You know nothing”

“Oh yes I do, who do you think helped you up the stairs last night” She snorted and stood up before collecting the empty glass.

“You were here last night?” I rubbed the sleep off my eyes and looked around the room, trying to locate my shirt.

“No, I actually just left after checking up on your mom when I saw you stumbling out of the cab” She walked to the corner of my room and toss me a white Rebel Eight t-shirt.

I mumbled an answer.

“Speaking of… She’s worried about you, again”

“Of course she is” I rolled my eyes.

“Seriously Tone, she doesn’t know what’s going on with you and she’s scared. You haven’t talked to her in weeks”

‘I haven’t talked to anyone in weeks’ I said in my head.

“Fine, I’ll talk to her”

“She’s downstairs, she asked me to make you your favorite breakfast” She winked and left the room.

I took a few more minutes before I stood up, making sure my head isn’t spinning too much that I’d stumble down the stairs. I grabbed my phone, that was surprisingly still on and checked on messages. I got a few Twitter and Instagram notifications, a few emails and texts from mostly Vic and Jaime.

After what happened at the hospital nearly a month ago, leaving Vic without a ride home, I sort of disappeared. I felt like I needed to recompose and get the shit in my head straightened before I have any human interaction. The only interaction I could handle was calling out orders to a bartender and giving my liver a Crossfit workout.

“Good morning honey, how are you feeling?” Ma was sitting on the couch, watching the morning news.

I walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Good, starving”

“I had Lauren made you breakfast, it’s in the microwave” She smiled and I nodded.

I grabbed the plate from the microwave after heating it and gobbled the entire thing in a matter of minutes. I decided to take a few moments with my mom, worrying her was the last thing I wanted to do but I just don’t think I could handle her at the moment. So I sat next to her on the couch and played with my phone.

“Mijo, you alright?” She asked after a while.

“Hm, I’m good” I shot her a smile and went back to my phone.

“You know if you have something on your mind, you can talk to me right? I’m not going to judge you or anything”

I instantly felt incredible awful after she said that, I set my phone down and turned around to face her. “I’m okay, I just wasn’t feeling that good the past few weeks but I’m okay now. I got it sorted out” I took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Alright then” She went back to watching TV and I went back to my phone. Coincidentally, a text from Jaime just came in.

Jaime
Where r u?
We’re on our way to the office, don’t b late!

Shit!

I scrambled to my feet and ran upstairs when I realized that today was the big meeting with the management to talk about the launching of the new record and future touring plans. The record is being launched tomorrow and honestly, I couldn’t be more lost about it. Fucking Cassie and her whore-ish ways completely threw me off and now I’ve missed the excited feeling of releasing new stuff for the kids.

After getting ready, I kissed Ma goodbye before sprinting out the door and into my car. I sped the entire way because Jaime texted right before I got in the car that they’re there already, waiting for me. Thankfully the universe was being a little kinder to me by not giving me San Diego’s hellish traffic.

I literally stormed into the meeting room like a dramatic movie, pushing the two double doors open with a loud bang when it hit the wall behind it.

“Where the hell were you man, you look like shit” Jaime asked as soon as I stepped into the meeting room.

“Sorry, I was with my mom and I completely forgot” I was still panting when I took a seat across form Vic.

“Well, now everyone’s here, let’s start this meeting shall we?” Frank from Fearless Record flip over his notebook and started reading the stuff we’re going to go over today. Michele, our manager took notes and went back and forth with ideas with us, though I wasn’t really listening.

Vic and Jaime were on fire when we were discussing the album’s launch, they thought about giving free concert tickets, doing scavenger hunts and even giving lucky recipients phone calls from the band. I was smiling and nodding, playing along since I have no idea what to say.

“About the promotional tour, since we had Kellin in this album, I think it’s only fitting to have Sleeping With Sirens to tour with you guys as co-headliners, I’ve talked to the guys over at Rise and they said it’s an amazing idea.”

“Yeah, I guess why not. Especially since the kids have been literally on our asses about doing King for A day live with Kellin” Vic said and all of us nodded in agreement.

“I also have another idea, but this one can be put in the books until we can find the proper dates and friends to do it with. But how about the possibility of doing a European tour?” Frank asked.

“European?” I asked back, reconfirming what I heard.

“Yeah, I guess mainly in the UK”

I swallowed hard. Well, fuck.