A Mighty Need

Before Audrey or Noel had realized it, they had fallen into the routine of domesticity. There was no significant turning point in their living situation, no moment of clarity that shouted in their faces about how their lives together had progressed. Yes, it was wonderful to be together “full-time”, day in and day out, but there was nothing glamorous about it. It was just life, going on as usual. They had already spent weeks here and there with each other for almost a year by this point, give or take a few weeks in between so they had already gotten used to each other’s daily routines and nightly rituals and everything in between. They had already caught on to the little sounds or gestures that might signal when the other was in a particular mood, be it good or bad, and how to maneuver through it. They had quickly become like an old married couple, minus the years of experience and the piece of paper legally binding them together in the eyes of the law.

Austin had finally joined the household in the last week of September; Rhiannon in hand. He had shipped a couple boxes of his belongings ahead of him so all he was traveling with was two suitcases filled with the rest of his clothes and shoes and, of course, the cat. Noel was ever the sweetheart in giving Audrey’s little brother free reign of the extra bedroom which he had stayed in over Christmas and was now officially his. On the first Saturday of October, both men went to purchase interior wall paint and when they returned, set about priming and then painting Austin’s room royal blue.

When not engrossed with each other, Noel kept busy painting or taping episodes of Never Mind The Buzzcocks, along with other things he was working on here and there while, Audrey was finishing up her first actual novel. While attending a pseudo “industry” party with Noel a couple of weekends later, just before Halloween, Audrey was introduced to Miranda Hart who was preparing to start filming series four of her TV show, Miranda. Audrey’s wasn’t sure how it happened, but she walked away from that party with an offer to star in a walk-on roll as a dentist Miranda pays a visit to in the third episode, which wouldn’t film until the end of November.

For Halloween, Noel and Audrey were invited to Jonathan Ross’ annual Halloween party. Austin had plans to go out with Mike and Lauren, somewhere in Camden, so Audrey didn’t have to worry that her brother was being left out. It was quite hard to figure out what they were going to dress as for the holiday but eventually decided they would go with a couples theme, but not anything cheesy like a bottle of ketchup and a bottle of mustard. They wanted to keep with the creepy feel of Halloween and after finding the right clothing in second hand clothing shops, Noel and Audrey stepped out, dressed for the night and very pleased with how they looked.

Noel was dressed as Beetlejuice and Audrey as Lydia Dietz, but as the characters were dressed during the wedding scene at the end of Beetlejuice. Audrey even had the red wedding dress and the black wig styled the same way. They took a five minute taxi ride to Hampstead that dropped them off at the end of the Jonathan Ross’ street and walked the remainder, holding plastic orange pumpkin buckets full of candy. There were paparazzi out in abundance as they walked along the sidewalk; the closer they got to the house. There were plenty of other guests and general trick-or-treaters moving about that the pap were taking pictures of everyone and anyone. It was particularly hard to figure out who was who with everyone in costume because some wore masks over their faces or their make-up was that good at hiding who they really were.

Noel was at a disadvantage because he had been seen on and off-screen plenty of times with face make-up and he just had that much of a distinctive face. He held Audrey’s free hand as they approached the driveway, past the pap at the gate that snapped pictures and shouted out Noel’s name, but he ignored them as he and Audrey continued on toward the front door. Security was hired to check invites Jonathan had sent out to keep any randoms or paparazzi off the street from entering. ‘Wossy’ was standing just inside with a glass of something faintly yellow that was probably some kind of white wine. He smiled upon seeing Noel and greeted him with a friendly side hug. Wossy was wearing a grey wig and had grey suit with what looked to be hundreds of grey paint swatches tacked all over him; announcing he was ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’.

When he properly inspected both Audrey and Noel he pulled off two of the swatches and stuffed one each into their pumpkin buckets.

“Here, Happy Halloween.” Wossy nodded, gesturing further into the house. “Please, help yourself to drinks. There’s plenty to go around.”

Noel kept holding onto Audrey’s hand as they moved deeper into the house, heading into the dining room where they passed a waiter handing out champagne flutes and offered one to the couple. They broke the hand holding in order to take the glasses and then eyed up the rest of the party that was already thriving, and they were among the first batch to arrive. Holly Willoughby was nearby talking with Kate Moss and Jamie Hince; all three dressed to the nines. There was Stephen Merchant, sitting down and laughing about something with Dara O’Briain; the latter who still looked tall while also sitting.

Tim Minchin and his wife Sarah came up from behind Noel and Audrey, with Tim poking them both in the back to give them a scare. The latter couple jumped slightly as they turned around to greet the ginger Australian who was dressed as the Cowardly Lion and his wife as Dorothy Gale from The Wizard of Oz.

“Look at you two. Fabulous,” Tim complimented.

“Right back at ya,” Noel replied.

Tim looked at Audrey and shook her hand. “Hi, we haven’t met yet. I’m Tim, this is my wife Sarah. You’re Noel’s ladylove, aren’t you?”

Audrey smirked and nodded. “Yes, I’m Audrey.”

Sarah widened her eyes and pointed. “Woods!” Then more sheepishly, “Sorry, I read your books.” Sarah nudged her husband. “This is Audrey Woods, the writer.”

Tim narrowed his eyes with better recognition. “Oh,” he laughed. “I could barely tell with the pale face make-up and the wig. You’re normally a ginger like me, aren’t you?”

“A bottle ginger, but yes.”

“You choose to be one, so you are endeared to me.” He nodded, gesturing between him and his wife. “We live in LA and I’ve read the trade papers recently about that show you’ve got based on your first book. Congrats on that. When’s it going to air? I’m very interested in watching when it does.”

“Sometime after the new year I assume. I’m not sure on the premiere date,” Audrey shrugged. “Maybe early spring: March sometime?”

The two couples chatted a bit longer together before moving apart and onto other guests. As the night progressed and more drinks were imbibed, Noel and Audrey found themselves somehow separated but seemed to be faring well among the crowd. While Noel was off nursing a glass of scotch that Wossy had broken out to share with a few guests nearest him (Noel, obviously included), Audrey had come face to face with Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who had showed up a bit late and dressed as Jack Sparrow and pulling off the look very well.

“You’re Audrey Woods, aren’t you?” he greeted first.

Audrey smiled. “Yes, I am, though I’m a bit perplexed you know who I am. Not many people know the faces of writers. You, on the other hand, are easily recognizable.”

Jonathan grinned mostly with his eyes. “I was in LA over the summer when you were. We actually met at a party one night. You were there with Juliette Lewis and pretty well hammered.”

“I don’t even remember going to a party with her.”

“Like I said: pretty well hammered.”

“And you recognized me in costume?”

“I have a good eye for beauty.”

“Oh, flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Meyers,” Audrey snickered. “Only figuratively, though.”

“Are you spoken for?” he clearly flirted.

“I am, and happily so.”

“Is it a recent romance? You didn’t give me the impression you were attached when we first met.”

“We’re going on our first year together.”

Jonathan smirked and studied her slightly, leaning against the wall. “And who, pray tell, is your lesser half? Because, clearly, you would be anyone’s better half.”

Audrey rolled her eyes with a laugh. “Noel Fielding,” she replied, sipping from her glass of red wine she now held. Audrey looked over in the direction of where Noel was and gestured toward him with a nod of her head.

Following her gaze, Jonathan glanced at Noel. “Not who I would’ve pictured you with, to be honest.”

Audrey frowned good-naturedly. “And who would you have pictured me with? I’m very curious to know.”

“I dunno,” he shrugged. “Someone with more of a classic Hollywood style, I suppose. A Benedict Cumberbatch type of man, maybe.”

“Are you suggesting yourself?”

“I might’ve been doing that.”

“Well, were I unattached, I would be very honored to accept such a suggestion but, as previously mentioned—”

“You’re happily attached,” Jonathan interrupted.

“Over the moon, even,” she added.

From where Noel stood with his drink in hand, he could see Audrey being chatted up by Jack Sparrow. He couldn’t tell who it was right away until he asked Wossy.

“That’s Jonny Meyers.”

“The actor?”

Wossy nodded. “Yeah.”

Noel felt himself grow a bit perturbed watching the handsome, famous actor chatting up his girlfriend. Blatantly flirting, actually. He needed to make his way back over toward Audrey and stake his claim on her, but he didn’t want to necessarily come off as the jealous boyfriend type. But he couldn’t help but feel threatened.

There was the woman he thought was the most beautiful woman he knew talking with one of the most handsome men in all the British Isles. While Jonathan Rhys Meyers had had his addiction problems he had the looks, the talent, the charm, the sex appeal and the fame that could lure any hot blooded female toward him with the same gravitational pull his character of Dracula had. Dark thoughts began to cloud Noel’s buzzed mind, causing him to think on how maybe someone like ‘Jonny’ was maybe better suited to Audrey. She was going places, especially with the television show based on her first book soon to grace the world. She wouldn’t just be a writer anymore; she would be the co-creator of a television show. It could win prominent awards and the world would take notice and maybe she would get hired to write for other shows or maybe movies, along with the books she would write. Noel had high hopes for her and wanted the best of everything for her, even if it meant he had to step aside to allow her spotlight to envelope her completely.

Noel wouldn’t give Audrey up without a fight but seeing her smiling and easily laughing with the likes of Jonny made Noel feel like it was an uphill battle.

How could he compare?

Better yet, why did she have to laugh and smile so easily with Jonny? Why did she have to appear so easily wooed by the Irishman? Noel knew he, himself, was charming, too. He didn’t feel like any sort of handsome heartthrob that made women wet with a simple look, though. He could only think about how big his face was and how flat his nose was. He was odd and unconventional. Audrey had her quirky qualities and definitely enjoyed bathroom humor; thrived on it in fact. However, she was a bit more conventional in tastes than Noel was. She didn’t go off creating nonsensical stories on Twitter or television shows that the mainstream couldn’t seem to wrap its head around.

Noel looked down at his drink, not realizing he was already onto his next one. Perhaps one of the wait staff members that Wossy had hired had refilled the glass or passed him a new one. He hadn’t the slightest recollection of any exchange.

Maybe Noel was just drinking too much and seeing Audrey so animated with another man that wasn’t him or one of their friends was taking him to his dark place. Maybe he was overthinking things for no good reason. Maybe there was a reason. No, no there wasn’t. Right? Audrey had given up life in the States to live with him in the UK. That said something. Right?

Still.

It didn’t change how angry he was suddenly feeling. He felt like going up to Jonny, spitting in his face and taking Audrey away so no one else could look upon her; lock her away in some ivory tower like Rapunzel where Noel was either her knight in shining armor or her wicked captor.

Downing the drink in hand, he desired the courage liquor could give him.

Suddenly the party was boring and he didn’t want to be there anymore. He didn’t want to chat with the other celebrities present who were clacking away in their assortment of Halloween costumes. He didn’t want to look at Audrey being flirted with by Jonathan Rhys Meyers, mostly.

Moving through the crowd, Noel pulled his Beetlejuice wig off, shoved it in his pumpkin bucket and ran a hand through his hair to give it back its own life; the black tresses clinging to the side of his face from the light sheen of sweat caused by so much body heat around him. Sidling up beside Audrey, he snaked and arm around her waist as territorially as possible and eyed Jonny with as polite of a smile as he could muster.

“Hey, love,” he greeted her, kissing her on the corner of her mouth.

She responded, moving to kiss him more fully on the lips before turning to gesture to Jonny. “Hey. Have you ever met Jonny?”

“No, can’t say I’ve had the pleasure,” Noel replied, offering his hand. “Hi. I’m Noel.”

“Jonny,” the younger man responded, looking between the couple. “Well, it was nice chatting with you Audrey. I think I should probably say hello to our gracious host,” he added, noticing a tension between himself and Noel.

He was a guy. Jonny knew what was up. Noel was marking his territory. It was time for Jonny to back off.

Either to be stupidly polite or to be an ass and get his dig into Noel, Jonny lifted Audrey’s hand and kissed the back of it. “Enchanté, milady.”

Audrey smiled, watching as he walked off through the crowd of people in the living room before looking at Noel with the same smile. “Where’ve you been hiding?” she asked.

“I was off talking with Jonathan, as in Ross,” he replied, a bit short with her.

She flinched backward at his tone and narrowed her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think I’m ready to go home.”

“Go home?” she questioned. “It’s not even midnight, and on Halloween, no less.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had enough of this party. I’ve showed up, mingled and now I want to go home. Can we please go?” Noel squeezed her hand.

“Do you want to stop at a bar or something before that and enjoy the night a little longer before we call it quits? We still have plenty of years left in us before we feel the need to turn in before midnight on Halloween.”

Noel shook his head. “No, let’s just go home. We’ll eat some candy and watch some scary movies or something.”

Audrey studied him a bit longer before responding. Something was definitely up with him that was getting him a bit hot under the collar. “Alright,” she said. “Do you want to say goodbye to Jonathan first?”

Noel shook his head again. “He’s busy talking to the other Jonathan now.” Taking Audrey’s hand in his, he led the way toward the front door where some people were still filtering in, as well as out.

They walked past Simon Pegg who was outside with his wife, talking to Lily Allen who was having a smoke. Audrey and Noel nodded hellos and goodbyes as they walked off the property, past the guests lingering outside or getting into vehicles to leave as well. They stepped past paparazzi as Noel let go of Audrey’s hand to dig through his pocket for his cell phone. Both of them were still holding onto their pumpkin buckets, so Audrey took the opportunity to pull a piece of candy out to eat while she followed behind him on the sidewalk. She smiled for a few of the photographers but otherwise kept her face forward, watching the back of Noel’s head while he brought the phone to his ear and ordered a cab to come to the corner of Jonathan Ross’ street; where they had been let off earlier in the night.

After pocketing his phone, Noel stopped and looked back at Audrey, sticking out his hand for her to take; almost like a child needing his mother’s hand in order to cross the street.

“How was Jonathan’s party, Noel?” a pap asked, moving around to walk backward in front of Noel and Audrey while snapping pictures at the same time.

“It was fun,” Audrey answered as Noel seemed determined not to speak to anyone other than her at the moment.

The pap looked at her and smiled, then snapped more pictures. “If it was so fun, why are you leaving early?”

“If we told ya, we’d have to kill ya,” she joked.

“Aww, but I’m so nice.”

“Nice would be getting that camera out of our faces and leaving us alone,” Noel finally spoke up.

“Aww I don’t think someone had a good time at Wossy’s party.”

“Dude, you got enough pictures of us. There are plenty of other people you can move on to back at Jonathan’s house,” Audrey commented as they came to the corner and stopped. “Unless you’re looking for a picture of us flipping you off, that is. I can do that.” Audrey proceeded in giving him the middle finger with a sugary smile while Noel turned his back at the guy. Audrey just shooed the pap away with her hands, “Okay, now, go back to the cesspool from whence ye came.”

The paparazzo gave up and did in fact walk away back toward the party-goers coming and going. Audrey lifted her free hand up to the back of Noel’s head, snaking her fingers within his hair and tried turning his head to look at her.

“Noel, seriously, what’s going on with you? You seem so pissed about something.” She moved to stand in front of him but kept her hand in place. “Did someone say something asshole-ish to you? Do you want me to sic a sandworm after them?” she inquired with a smile, referencing Beetlejuice because of their costumes.

“I’m fine,” he insisted.

“Like hell you are. You’re acting moodier than a teenage girl on her period.”

“It’s nothing, alright.” Noel pulled her hand from his head as a black cab rolled around the corner and stopped as he signaled it. “Let’s go home.”

Noel opened the door for Audrey and let her slide in first before getting in. After giving the driver his address, he sat back and stared out the window but sought Audrey’s hand while they sat in relative silence. She didn’t bother to try talking to him. She had come to know that when he got into a funk like this, that having any conversation with him with someone else present wasn’t the best idea. She wasn’t one for airing her dirty laundry in front of others either, so not talking was fine with her.

Until they got home.

The five minutes of silence didn’t kill them, nor did the silent walk up the stairs to the front door. Once they were inside, Noel set the keys on the front hall table as well as the candy bucket. He walked off toward the kitchen without a word to her and she set her pumpkin down next to his before following after him.

“Hold up there, bucko,” she called out.

Noel went straight for the fridge and pulled out a bottle of beer and set it on the counter before digging through the cupboards for a package of popcorn. “What?” he asked.

“Why are you acting like this? I don’t care if you give the paparazzi the cold shoulder, but don’t you dare do it to me.”

Noel tossed the popcorn package onto the kitchen counter and picked his beer up to uncap it by twisting it off with the bottom of his shirt. He took an initial swig and looked at her the entire time. “Why were you flirting with Jonathan Rhys Meyers?”

“What?” she looked at him with confusion.

“I watched you while you were chatting with him; smiling like you were about to whip your knickers off and let him fuck you nine ways to Sunday.”

Audrey felt aggression build inside her for what she knew to be a stupid accusation. “I was not flirting with him. I was acting no differently than I would with anyone else who was being nice to me. Really, if anyone was flirting, it was him. He asked if I was ‘spoken for’ and I told him ‘yes’ and ‘happily so’, alright? Don’t get so jealous over something so trivial, Noel. I have absolutely no desire to let anyone other than you fuck me, especially Jonny.”

“Especially Jonny?” he repeated, a bit doubtful.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “He’s not exactly my type.”

Noel fell silent, took another swig of beer and stared at her hard and long for a moment. “What exactly is your type, then?”

Audrey gave him a roll of her eyes, with a hint of a smile. “Uh, I’d say someone who is incredibly funny, dark-haired and blue-eyed, treats me with respect and loves me for who I am,” she replied before continuing on. “Someone with a nice, strong face and a bottom lip that I love to chew on when we kiss. Someone who has many talents, is friendly and charming, a bit of a flirt, himself…” she narrowed her gaze knowingly at him as she walked up to him and grabbed onto the lapels of his costume’s dress jacket. “Someone who makes me the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life and that I would give up the only home I’ve ever known for.”

Bringing her hands to the sides of Noel’s face, she curled her fingers back behind his ears and stood on tiptoe to reach up and brush her nose against his. It was probably the alcohol making him emotional, but he started to cry. Tears weren’t pouring down his face and he wasn’t sobbing like a wounded animal, but his eyes watered up enough that there was some spillage as a few tears found their way streaking down his cheeks.

Audrey knitted her brow together and pressed her lips to his, tasting the bitterness of the beer, when she saw how sad he looked. “Don’t cry, baby. I love you.”

“I know you do,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I let my mind get away with me at the party. I don’t think the alcohol helped any, but I saw you and Jonny together and you looked like you’d make this sexy couple, taking Hollywood by storm; you with your writing, him with the acting and I just couldn’t understand why you would want to be with me when someone like Jonny was another option.”

“Just because a guy is a celebrity and attractive doesn’t mean I’m going to be attracted to them. I can appreciate that Jonny is a good-looking guy but, seriously, he doesn’t tickle my pickle. At all.” Audrey kissed Noel again; wiping his tears away with her thumbs. “I am attracted to only you. I want only you. I love only you.” She leaned back. “Do I make myself clear?”

Noel nodded. “Yeah.” He blinked away any residual tears and did his best to smile. “I want and love only you, too.”

“I know. I am the cat’s meow.” She smirked and gestured to herself. “You are lucky to have this,” she added with a laugh.

“Yes, I am.”

“Seriously, though. There is no need to get jealous about me and some other guy. I wouldn’t have packed up and moved across the ocean to another country for just anyone. I didn’t go into this thinking what we have is a fleeting romance. I’m in this for the long haul.”

In response, Noel moved in and kissed her, letting his tongue slip briefly between her lips and into her mouth to touch upon her tongue. After a short duel, they came up for air and Audrey smiled at him. She didn’t say anything to him, she simply stepped back and hopped onto the kitchen table and proceeded in hiking the skirt of her red, lace dress up over her knees. Leaning back on her hands and parting her legs, she stretched one such leg out toward Noel and touched her foot against his lower abdomen.

“Hey Beetlejuice, why don’t you let your sandworm out to play in my netherworld,” Audrey joked, biting her bottom lip.

Noel watched her, feeling his chest ache with how much he loved her.

“One year ago tonight we had our first kiss,” he said, stepping to situate himself between her legs.

“How about we make a pact to never be away from each other on Halloween so we can always kiss?”

“I like that idea,” he nodded, leaning over her.

“You can’t fuck me with your pants still up, dude,” Audrey teased. She scooted down the table a bit to rub against him as a sign to get moving.

The gesture made his knees almost buckle as he quickly leaned back up to undo his pants and push them and his underwear down. He reached his hands forward and let them wander up under the skirt of her dress to yank her underwear but came up empty-handed.

“Did you go without knickers tonight?” he asked, lifting the skirt of the dress up to get a proper look. Audrey just giggled in response. “Oh, you slut,” he cooed, moving her up against him so that they ground together in intense unison.

“Whore,” she replied with a shit-eating grin.

“Tell me you want me.”

“I want you.”

“How bad do you want me?”

“I want you so bad.”

They leaned their faces closer to each other, feeling their hot breath upon pulsing from between their lips. Noel crushed his mouth to hers and they duked it out as they continued to grind against each other, but without penetration just yet. Before they went at it any further in that position, Noel lifted her down off the table and then turned her around, and she responded by grinding back against him. He moaned his answer before leaning her down over the table and positioning himself at her main entrance. After a bit of teasing, he pushed in all the way, holding onto her with one hand on her hip and the other on the small of her back. Audrey lay flat on the table, reaching her arms out wide to grip tightly onto the edges of the table while their bodies rocked feverishly together.

Audrey began to cry out, as did Noel, when they each began to reach their peaks. When they were spent, Noel leaned over her, pressing his lips to the back of her neck and shoving her wig off her head, letting her bright auburn hair spill out. Noel pulled out of her and gently turned her around as she tried to lean upward with jelly for legs. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulled her close and they kissed once more while her hands snaked around to grip his ass.

They were far from over with each other.

“Let’s get these costumes off and jump in the shower,” she suggested.

“A shower ain’t gonna clean my thoughts away,” he joked.

“Acid couldn’t wash my thoughts away, so we’re perfectly matched, you and I.”

Noel snickered and helped her adjust her dress so that the skirt covered her bottom half properly. He then tucked himself into his pants but didn’t bother to do them up. He led them from the kitchen and up to the second story to their bedroom which was a mess because they had pulled it apart with plans to redo it, design-wise.

“Are we going to get around to making popcorn and watching scary movies, you think?” he asked.

Audrey shrugged as they ducked into the bathroom. “Oh, we have all night to do lots of things.” Planting another kiss on his lips, she smiled. “My perfect man.”

Noel beamed.



In the weeks following Halloween, Noel was in the best of moods. He woke every morning (or afternoon in many cases) with a smile on his face. He knew Audrey to be the love of his life and she was always there beside him now. No longer did he have to long for her. There she was, always.

November crept along at a rather fast past. Each Tuesday he was busy filming Never Mind The Buzzcocks at Riverside Studios in Hammersmith and on the last Tuesday of the month, the Christmas special was filmed. Noel brought Audrey, his parents and both his and her brothers along as his guests so they could join in on the wrap party after the taping.

Noel, as usual, dressed to the nines.

He wore what looked to be an all-black muumuu dress and it had black, silver, grey and white glittery bulb ornaments hooked all over it. The cuffs were trimmed with black faux feathers and on top of his head he wore a black top hat, and on top of the top hat was a star that could light up from a switch underneath the hat. He was going around saying he was a human Gothic Christmas tree. But he wasn’t to be shown up. Phill was dressed as Santa Claus, but a sort of rock star version; complete with eyeliner and two fake groupies to escort him onto set when they began filming the start of the episode.

Because of her ginger hair, Audrey wore a green dress to play on the Christmas colors. On her feet she had silver, glittery pumps. Around her neck she wore a platinum silver snowflake necklace and in her hair she wore a poinsettia hair comb, and upon her lips the most vibrant shade of red lipstick she had. It was an okay Christmas special, which Noel agreed on after taping was over. He commented that after the pretty great 28th series they’d had, the Christmas special just seemed anticlimactic.

Oh, well.

There was always series 29 next year.

At the moment, it was time to party.

Drinks were poured, music was played and everyone dance a bit as well. Mike stole Audrey for a dance at one point and when she got near to Noel whispered to him about how he should try not to get jealous. He just narrowed his eyes and snickered at her before grabbing Lauren’s hand and twirling her around in response. Austin stood off to the side while Ray and Diane danced together, until Diane cut their dance short to take Austin and have him dance with her for the remainder of the song so he didn’t feel left out. Phill even came over with a red sack filled with actual presents he was handing out.

“You know it’s not actually Christmas, right?” Noel laughed, taking the small box handed to him.

“Don’t worry. They’re not quality Christmas gifts,” Phill replied, sticking out his tongue.

Everyone seemed to get a gift; the panelists, the host, almost everyone that worked behind the scenes of the show, Mike, Noel’s parents, Audrey and even Austin and Lauren. According to Phill, he’d rather give them presents than some of the crew members who tended to tick him off. All the gifts were the same for the most part. Everyone opened up the white Never Mind The Buzzcocks mugs but inside each was a different mini bottle of liquor; be it vodka, whiskey, bourbon, tequila or Bailey’s.

Audrey got bourbon in her cup and ended up swapping with Ray who got Bailey’s Irish Cream. Noel chastised Phill, suggesting he got all the mugs by raiding the studio’s supply to which Phill reacted with mock offense and assured the others he actually ordered them all online.

Russell Howard, who had been the Christmas special’s host was walking around after the taping, during the party with a hat that looked like a fishing rod with mistletoe dangling off the end so that whoever he stood with would have to kiss him. He came up toward both Audrey and Lauren and Diane a few times until Noel swiped the hat off Russell’s head. Noel held it between himself and Audrey so that he had another excuse to kiss his girl.

They didn’t stay long at the wrap party though because Noel, Audrey and Austin had a flight to catch to Philadelphia the next morning where they would be celebrating Thanksgiving. They arrived late at night and were picked up from the airport by Audrey’s father. Austin was staying in his old room once again, while Audrey and Noel were crashing in what used to be Crystal’s old room. Crystal and Jeremy and the kids had arrived a few hours earlier but were staying at Jeremy’s parent’s house while the kids were still at the Woods house since Audrey’s old room had since been made up as the kids’ room with two twin beds and toys.

On the morning of Thanksgiving, while burdened with glorious jet lag, the bedroom door creaked open, causing both Audrey and Noel to stir. The sound of small feet shuffling over the carpet reached their ears but they couldn’t bring themselves to open their eyes just yet. They both just lay there, listening to any further sounds, when there came a tug at the blanket at the base of the bed. Audrey opened her eyes and sat up first, peering down at the face of her niece Avery peeking back at her.

“Where’s my mommy?”

Audrey smiled and gestured for the now five-year-old girl to climb up onto the bed and join her. “She’s sleeping at your other grandma and grandpa’s house with your daddy,” Audrey replied as Avery cautiously crept along the mattress before gracelessly plopping down between her Aunt Audrey and ‘Uncle’ Noel; the latter of whom opened his eyes and rolled over to face both females.

“Morning, little one,” he said to Avery, tickling her side.

Avery giggled and turned to look at him with a big smile before slapping the top of his head. “Hiya,” she giggled some more while squinting her eyes at him.

“D’ya ever play airplane before?” he asked her.

The adorable blonde girl widened her pretty blue eyes at him and shook her head. “How do you play airplane?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” he replied, shifting his weight on the mattress as Audrey looked on with interest. “C’mere,” he added, hooking his hands under Avery’s arms and lifting her up and then setting her down on his legs. He scooted down a bit before laying back and lifting her up again, but just enough that he could pull his legs back to his chest until the flats of his feet pressed gently against Avery’s stomach. “Hold my hands really tight and don’t let go.”

Without any further warning, Noel lifted Avery into the air with his feet, dangling her above him while holding carefully onto her hands. The poor thing looked scared shitless at first until she got the hang of it and then began to laugh.

“Now let go of his hands and hold your arms out at your sides, but do it slowly.”

Avery followed the direction to a T and smiled; looking down at him. “I’m flying like a plane!”

“An adorable plane,” Audrey smirked, reaching out to touch her hand to Avery’s wrist when she thought the girl might teeter off Noel’s feet for a moment.

After about a minute or two more, Noel set Avery back down and she gave him a kiss on the cheek and then hugged Audrey before jumping off the bed and running out of the room shouting about being a plane. Audrey looked at Noel and smiled. She was still too tired to actually get up and start the day so she simply lay back down and curled into Noel’s side.

“You’re a natural with kids.”

“That’s because I’m still one, myself.”

Audrey smiled, wrapping an arm around his chest. “My overgrown five-year-old,” she cooed.

Noel smirked. “Goo-goo-ga-ga.” Turning to fact her, he kissed the tip of her nose. Upon cupping the side of her face, he kissed her lips and then shifted around until he was half lying on top of her with one leg between hers. “I’d rather skip eating Thanksgiving dinner and have you instead.”

Audrey giggled, much like Avery had. “You can always have me,” she insisted, running her hands to the back of his hair.



Two days after Thanksgiving, Noel and Audrey celebrated their first anniversary as a couple, pretty much the same way they spent it the year before. That afternoon, after visiting the Philadelphia Museum of Art, they checked into one of the deluxe one-bedroom suites at the Palomar Hotel just for the night. After check-in and getting settled into their room, Audrey called Austin briefly to remind him to be to the airport the next morning around the same time they would be getting there because she had his boarding ticket. As her PA, really, it should’ve been Austin who was the one holding everyone’s plane tickets, but that was one thing Audrey was always irked about. She didn’t want anyone else handling her plane tickets; even Austin handling his.

Noel called down to the hotel’s restaurant Square 1682 to make a dinner reservation for seven-thirty while Audrey had been on the phone with Austin. After both were done with their phone calls, they headed out again for a quick bit of shopping since they hadn’t bothered to do any of the Black Friday craziness the day before. Bundled up light jackets to keep the brisk wind at bay, they walked hand in hand along 17th Street until it came to Walnut Street. Audrey popped into Burberry where she bought a new tube of lipstick and a black lace dress she decided she would wear to dinner that night. Upon leaving Burberry, they doubled back in the direction they had come but instead continued to the other half of Walnut off 17th and went inside Urban Outfitters where Noel bought a raglan tee, that looked similar to something Bas Kosters would’ve designed, and two beanie hats: a USA one for himself and a British flag one for Audrey.

It was onward to JFK Plaza after Urban Outfitters where they yet again took their pictures in front of the Love sculpture, but this time it was different because it was a year to date from the first time. It was also different in that they had no one help take their pictures for them. They simply posed for their selfies, making kissy faces at the camera, then at each other. And, as before, they tweeted the pictures.

One year later with the bestest guy ever @noelfielding11 xoxo, Audrey posted along with the picture of them kissing in front of the sculpture.

Upon receiving her tweet, Noel retweeted it and then posted the other picture of them looking at the camera with the simple reply, @audreyewoods 365 down, bajillions more XXX.

Audrey kissed him again after seeing his tweet and from there they headed back to the hotel.

Upon returning, tossing their purchases to the couch in the sitting room, they removed their clothes and shared the shower together. It was a bit cramped but being pressed against each other was perfectly fine as showering wasn’t the only thing they were doing in there. Audrey got dressed in her new dress and used her new lipstick, while putting on a pair of Ruthie Davis black glitter and spike pumps. She kept her hair from getting too wavy or frizzy (which is a horrible thing when your hair is generally thin and prone to going limp in the first place) by using Noel’s straightener that he had brought along. Noel had put on a pair of black leather skinny jeans, a white dress shirt with the top buttons open far down enough to show his patch of chest hair he actually had. One his feet were the black Chelsea boots he had been wearing earlier and a black Nehru jacket he chose to leave unbuttoned.

They made for a handsome pair as they went down to Square 1682 for dinner and certainly made an impression on the more conservative couples already seated and eating their meals. The two of them followed the maître d' to their reserved table, looking as if they owned the place. With Noel’s raven hair, Audrey’s slightly redder shade of auburn, their black clothes and eyeliner, they looked like a rockstar and his rocker girlfriend. Audrey’s spiked heels helped that notion.

Once seated and having placed their drink orders, it was on to looking over the menu and deciding what to eat. Eventually they were ready; with Audrey ordering the wild mushroom ravioli with a side order charred Brussels sprouts and Noel ordering a Coulotte steak and his side order of garlic Parmesan fries.

They ate in relative silence but only because they were hungry and the food was good enough to shut them up. Reaching their fill brought conversation back. Noel kept making jokes about the other people in the restaurant who looked like a bunch of robots, going through the motions of enjoying dinner with their significant other or whoever it was they were dining with. A few times, Audrey snorted with laughter and had to cover her mouth and nose to muffle any further sounds, which just added fuel to the fire by making Noel want to joke some more. However, they were interrupted by their waiter who came over with the dessert menu and looked between the pair with impish eyes.

Perhaps Audrey and Noel were a breath of fresh air where the typical diners and foodies were concerned.

They ordered one piece of cheesecake and one Chai spiced crème brûlée; sharing both when they arrived to the table. They finished it all off two hot toddies before having the bill charged to their hotel bill and heading back up to their room like a couple of bumbling teenagers from the liquor in their systems.

It felt like their first time together all over again; when he came back to her hotel suite at the Savoy after they’d had dinner and drinks at The Oxford Arms. They weren’t drunk but they were plenty tipsy. While Audrey went into the bathroom to fill the Fuji soak tub and strip out of her dress, Noel unplugged the iHome radio with the iPod docking station from the bedroom and brought it into the bathroom where he set it on the sink counter and plugged it back in and then set Audrey’s iPod on it to play some music. While Audrey was still tending to the bath, Noel went back out to the bedroom and opened the mini bar to remove the bottle of Kendall Jackson Merlot and the bottle of La Crema Pinot Noir along with the two glasses next to the ice bucket. He brought all of it into the bathroom where Audrey was now stepping naked into the tub to sit on one side.

“Give me the glasses and set the bottles on the tub’s ledge,” she commented, and he did so he could disrobe and join her.

He turned the music on and then stepped into the tub, mindful not to knock the bottles over. Sitting across from her, Noel practically melted in the warmth of the water and the citrus smell of the bath salts Audrey had used that had come complimentary in the room. Audrey held both glasses out as Noel opened the bottle of Merlot first and poured them each a glass. He set the bottle back on the ledge with the other one and took one of the glasses from Audrey while she stretched her legs out to rest her feet on his upper thighs.

With his arms bent at the elbows and braced on either side of the tub, Noel stared back at her over the rim of his glass with devilish blue eyes. Nothing but dirty thoughts raced through his mind in that moment and judging by the way she stared back, her thoughts mirrored his.

Quickly they downed their first glass and then poured seconds and thirds before the bottle was empty. With heavy-laden eyes, Audrey stood up and stepped over to Noel, kneeling down on either side of his legs before sitting down in his lap, facing him. She placed her arms around his shoulders and he placed his arms around her waist to pull her closer to him as their lips met more hungrily than when they ate dinner. As Noel stirred and stiffened underneath her, she chose to swivel her hips to drive him a bit mad before either of them went about connecting their bodies together.

Noel knitted his brow when a certain song began to play that he didn’t recognize. He turned his face toward the iHome and gestured toward it with his head.

“What song is that?”

“’Butterfly’ by Crazy Town,” she replied. “It was popular when I was in college.”

“I don’t remember it,” Noel spoke, kissing her again and listening to the lyrics. “But I like the chorus.”

Audrey grinned at him and ground into him to the beat of the music, swiveling around some more. “Happy anniversary,” she whispered.

“Right back at ya, my lady.”