A Mighty Need

The run through of the show went on for almost the same amount of time the actual aired show would last. Audrey had since finished her cup of coffee in the green room and snatched up a bottle of water so she wouldn’t have a phlegm problem later. She joined Noel and Bruno Mars on the left of where Matt would be sitting in the host’s chair. Bruno took the seat closest to Matt, then Noel, then Audrey. The table had a sunken in television screen in front of Noel that she suspected would show them some sort of footage later, probably during whatever the first round was. While they settled in and Phill’s team did the same, the director and other crew members began walking around the stage, giving prompts for direction about the show, going over notes with Matt, placing mics on everyone for sound tests, et cetera.

“I know this is a pop music quiz show, but if they play anything by Justin Bieber or that damned Carly Rae Jepson song, so help me, fire and brimstone will rain down,” Audrey commented, only half joking but it was enough to make Noel laugh heartily. Even Bruno let out a chortle as he leaned forward to look at her around Noel.

“Safe to say you’re not a Bielieber?” Bruno questioned with a smile.

“I’d rather jam hot soldering irons into my ears.”

Noel leaned in toward Audrey and whispered in her ear, “Careful not to say that too loudly or they’ll play Bieber just to spite you.” Leaning back he just stared at her with a smile and a look that suggested he was trying to read her thoughts. “That’s what happened to me,” he continued. “I mentioned once I hated Coldplay and it’s like every other episode it’s Coldplay this and Chris Martin that.”

“Why don’t you like Coldplay?”

“Why don’t you like Justin Bieber?” he playfully threw back at her.

“Touché.”

Forty minutes later, Audrey was sitting in her dressing room with Emma, her makeup and hairstylist for the night who was transforming her quite well. Emma had pulled Audrey’s hair out of her haphazard ponytail and added in a few extensions that matched Audrey’s coloring before going about giving her hair and all-over curl so it looked more voluminous than it actually was. Her makeup wasn’t over the top but it wasn’t done to make it like she had nothing on. Audrey wanted her eyes to pop so that was the main focus; eyeliner, mascara and dark eye shadow to give the smoky eye effect. Emma applied a red lip stain to Audrey’s lips because normal lipstick would wear off before taping was over due to the usual talking, licking or biting of the lips and drinking from the mugs of water all the guests were given at the Buzzcocks desk. Audrey took a picture of herself in the mirror and uploaded it to her twitter with the message, “Gussied up for some Buzzcocks. #NMTB.”

Afterward, she was making her way down the hall toward the makeup and wardrobe room, now that she had figured her way around the backstage area. No one was gathered in the green room anymore; they were lingering in the hall or in the makeup and wardrobe room, getting finishing touches done or just shooting the shit. There was a blonde woman holding up a white iPhone, filming Noel about something just inside the room as she popped in with her own cell phone in hand to find the crew member responsible for fixing her with a microphone again.

“Do you want to do your Backstage Buzzcocks interview, Audrey?” she heard a female voice ask.

Audrey turned around and saw that it was the woman who had been filming Noel. “Do we have time? The taping starts in about ten minutes, doesn’t it?”

“The interviews only last usually a minute, tops. They get posted on the website the day the episode airs,” Noel muttered, nursing a can of Coke. He was looking over the rim of the can as he took a sip, his bright blue eyes unusually dark, though still with a sparkle, in the well-lit room.

“Alright,” Audrey nodded to the blonde who walked up to her.

“Ready?”

Audrey shrugged. “Sure.”

“How have you prepared for Never Mind The Buzzcocks?”



“Welcome to Never Mind The Buzzcocks. Please welcome your host for this evening, having traveled far and wide through all of time and space: MATT SMITH!” the announcer exclaimed.

Suddenly the Never Mind The Buzzcocks theme music faded and the Doctor Who theme music began to play, a smoke machine began to pump out fake smoke from behind the desk and a Tardis was rolled out by two stage hands, stopping just behind the hosting chair. Without hesitation, Matt Smith poked his head out from the door to the great applause of the audience as well as the panelists. He lacked the joie de vivre his version of the Doctor had when traipsing into a room on screen, but was very animated in his mannerisms and smile nonetheless. He took a seat, clapped his hands together and looked around at everyone.

“To think I decided to stop playing the Doctor to focus on other projects and this happens,” Matt jested, hanging his head slightly. Letting out a laugh, he looked back up toward the teleprompter in front of him. “Not that I want to dissociate myself from the role, even though it’s been the best role of my life so far, but it’s time to move on; to look to the future.”

Suddenly a head popped out of the Tardis. It was Jenna Louise Coleman. “Did you say ‘to the future?’”

Matt turned around and everybody either laughed or clapped. “Dammit, Jenna, I said not now. Later.”

Jenna made a cute little ‘oopsie’ face and ducked back into the Tardis. Audrey was pleasantly surprised. They must’ve smuggled her in at some point when everyone else was getting ready. She hadn’t noticed her backstage at all but would like to meet her after the tapping.

“Sorry about this, folks. Let me just…” he trailed as he pulled a replica of his Doctor’s sonic screwdriver out and pointed it at the Tardis, which jerked and then began to slide off back into the wings of the studio.

Audrey leaned forward slightly to see how they were doing it, but couldn’t see, but she figured the Tardis was setting on some sort of trolley and the stage hands from earlier were simply pulling it with wire or rope.

The smoke had begun to dissipate, the audience quieted down and Matt began to take the helm of the show with the help of the teleprompter and a few ad libs thrown in for good measure. He began to introduce all the guests starting with Bruno and Audrey on Noel’s team, then onto Dave Gorman and 2011 Britain’s Got Talent winner Jai McDowall on Phill’s team. Soon it was the beginning of the first round, Who Am I?, in which both teams had to look at a photo of two celebrities morphed into one photo and figure out which of those two celebrities they were.

“He’s got a weird nose, doesn’t he?” Noel commented, pointing at the screen in their side of the desk in front of him. Bruno and Audrey were both leaning in toward him to look, even though the same image was on the large screen behind Matt. Their team was first and trying to decipher the image.

“Look who’s talkin’,” came a retort from Jai.

“Oy,” Noel looked over at Jai, masking even the faintest hint of offense with a small laugh and a smile. “My nose is just long and flat; this one looks like someone chewed on it then spat it out.”

“I know who it is, that’s Owen Wilson.” Audrey looked at Bruno, then Noel. “He broke his nose in high school or something and never bothered to get it cosmetically fixed ‘cause he said it gave him character; which, of course is ironic, because that’s where his character ends.”

Bruno leaned back and covered his mouth with a balled fist, stifling his laugh as best he could. “He is a bit lame, isn’t he?” Noel agreed.

“Do you know who the second celebrity is?” Matt asked.

“I think the hair belongs to Jamie Lee Curtis,” Bruno suggested. “All I see when I turn on the TV anymore are those damn Activia commercials and that hair of hers.”

Matt smirked, “Let’s see if you’re right.” The image split off into two of the same image side by side and then morphed into how they were supposed to look and sure enough, the celebrities were in fact Owen Wilson and Jamie Lee Curtis. For a bonus point, Matt asked Noel’s team a question about something in regard to either Owen or Jamie but in the end, Noel’s team didn’t get it right so it was on the Phill’s team for their turn at Who Am I?

Soon, it was time for round two, the Intros round. Noel and Bruno were handed a silver envelope and stood up, opening it up and looking at the title of the song, which they would’ve already knew and practiced earlier on in the evening shortly after Audrey first met Noel. They looked at each other, then at Audrey, before going into a beginning beat.

Audrey stared back up at them, Noel eyeing her as he made weird trilling noises, which caused him to laugh at himself, and in turn cause Audrey to also laugh. “What you’re doing is confusing me, but Bruno’s part sounds kinda familiar.” She narrowed her eyes, trying to focus mostly on Bruno but Noel was continuing with his poppy, trilling noises while doing his best not to laugh any further at himself, and he was generally rather distracted.

It’s his eyes, Audrey thought to herself.

“It’s…it’s shit…” she grumbled. She had the name on the tip of her tongue.

“Yes, it is,” Noel teased which caused him to receive a playful slap to the arm from Bruno. Both guys were done trying and were just standing there waiting to see if Audrey had guessed it.

“No, it’s, um…Kings of Leon…”

Matt raised his eyebrows and nodded, trying to egg her along further. “The title?”

Audrey bit her bottom lip and winced. “Closer?”

“Yes! It was ‘Closer’ by Kings of Leon, and here’s how it should have sounded.”

The second intro was much easier and before Noel and Bruno had finished, Audrey had blurted the song out correctly. It was ‘Policy of Truth’ by Depeche Mode and resulted in Audrey almost squealing over her love for the song. As ‘her boys’ sat down, Noel clapped a hand across Bruno’s back in a congratulatory manner before leaning to his left and giving Audrey a side hug. He smelled of a-typical cologne; nothing to write home about, but there was something that stood out scent-wise that was nice.

The next two rounds –– the Identity Parade followed by Next Lines –– seemed to pass in a blur and before Audrey realized it her team had beaten Phill’s by one point. Noel grabbed both her and Bruno’s arms at the wrist and raised them up in a sort of victory salute before giving Bruno a hug and pulling Audrey in for one as well. And a proper one at that; not a side hug like earlier. The kiss to her cheek was a bit unexpected but she had come to realize over the last couple of years of traveling, that Europeans were more affectionate like that. The Tardis from the beginning of the show was brought back out and Matt jumped up, announcing he was going to “take it for one last spin,” just as Jenna popped out again and offered her hand to him and pulled him inside. The fog machine started up again and the Tardis whirring sound echoed throughout the studio and as the lights dimmed momentarily, stage hands pulled the Tardis back into the wings before the lights came back up, giving the impression that it had dematerialized.

With the taping concluded for the evening, the audience was beginning to disperse and crew members began to walk up to the guests and unhook the mics from their clothing. Matt and Jenna both popped back out onto the sound stage to talk with the others; Audrey taking the opportunity to introduce herself before everyone seemed to migrate back to the backstage area to change if need be or just linger. There would be a sort of after party in the Riverside Studios Restaurant and Bar. It was basically just going to be the cast and crew, and any of the VIPs the cast had brought along.

Audrey was holding onto her jacket with her purse hanging over her shoulder as she stood nearer to the bar, talking with Bruno about him wanting to get a couple of her books signed to bring home to his each of his three sisters. He was flying to Copenhagen on Thursday so she invited him to meet her tomorrow afternoon at her hotel suite and if he didn’t have the time, have someone bring them to her and she’d happily sign them and see they got back his way. As they continued to chat further along, Phill walked up and tapped her on the shoulder and smiled.

“I look forward to having you on my team next week, where you’re supposed to be.”

Audrey smirked. “Yeah, tonight was just the test run. Next week there’s no stopping me. We’ll crush Noel.”

Phill chuckled. “That’s the spirit.”

“I heard my name.” Noel walked over, having excused himself from a conversation with one of the producers whose name kept escaping Audrey.

“We were talking about how Audrey is jumping ship next week and coming over to the dark side,” Phill said, ending the sentence like a man trying to spook little children.

“He said they had cookies.”

“You sure I can’t convince you to stay on my team? Whoever it is sitting on my left next week can swap with you and be on Phill’s team instead. We did pretty well, you and me.”

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Bruno exclaimed with mock offense, his arms outstretched at his side.

“Yeah, you were okay, Bruno.”

“I’ll take what I can get.”

“Who is on my team next week anyway?” Noel wondered, looking back at the producer he’d been talking to, he called out, “Oy, Andy. Who’s scheduled for the show next week beside Audrey?”

Andy, the producer, thought for a moment. “Zane Lowe and Tulisa Contostavlos are on your team. Audrey and Damien Rice are on Phill’s.”

“Aw, shit, not Tulisa. I had her on my team last time she was on. It’s Phill’s turn.”

“Didn’t your mother ever teach you to share?” Phill teased.

“No, she was busy partying well into the night with my dad and their friends. I was out in the bushes, stealing food from the squirrels.”

Audrey laughed. Phill rolled his eyes. Bruno smirked.

The conversations seemed to change then. Phill went off to talk with someone else, Bruno possibly left altogether. Audrey hadn’t seen Matt or Jenna anywhere. It pretty much left just Audrey and Noel standing together.

“How long you are staying in London after next Tuesday’s taping?” he asked her, nursing a bottle of Heineken.

Pulling her glass of Pinot Noir away from her lips, she replied, “I fly home next Thursday.”

“So you’ve got plenty of time to kill till then,” he remarked and she nodded. “What you doing this Thursday?”

“Why?” Audrey wondered warily. She couldn’t deny Noel was handsome. He was incredibly so in an offbeat way. He wasn’t the Hollywood definition of a hottie, but any guy, in her real life or as a celebrity she fawned over, never seemed to follow the Hollywood definition. She liked his hair and how he was constantly playing with it, and his humor was quirky and different than the same old shtick she was used to hearing all over. Most of all, she really admired his eyes. They were honestly quite stunning.

“It’s Halloween. Did you have anything planned to do for Halloween while you’re in town?”

“Oh.” She had almost forgotten about Halloween. “Uh, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll buy some candy and eat it while watching scary movies in my hotel room all day and then, at night, I’ll throw on a pair of kitty ears, draw whiskers on my face and head out to a pub for a drink or two.” Audrey shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Well,” Noel spoke, moving a bit closer to her till she could smell the beer on his breath, but not in the nauseating way. Somehow he had managed to drink his beer while simultaneously chewing on a piece of spearmint gum. “If you do plan on going to a pub for drinks, you might as well come out to the Camden Head. Me and a bunch of my mates will be there. Free cover. You’re welcome to join. You know, that is if you can tear yourself away from your scary movies and sweets.”

Audrey took a sip of her wine and nodded. “Sure. Let’s exchange numbers and I’ll let you know.” She passed him her phone and he pulled his out to do the same, entering their info into each other’s phone, and then passing them back.

Noel gestured toward the direction of the entrance of Riverside Studios. “D’you smoke?” he asked pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

Audrey shook her head. “No. Anytime I thought I might even try, I always remembered my great-grandma and her stoma she had after being diagnosed with oropharyngeal cancer,” she explained, subconsciously touching her fingertips to the base of her throat. “She used to sound like the wind when she tried to talk until she got a voice box and then she sounded like a robot.”

“I know, this is a horrible habit. I’ve tried quitting several times. I don’t really do it too often; mostly when I’m having a drink, which isn’t as much as I used to. You get older, you get tamer, I suppose.” Noel shrugged. “You wanna join me outside while I smoke? I’ll blow the cancerous cloud away from you, I promise.”

“Yeah, just hold my drink so I can throw my jacket on. It was pretty chilly out there today.”

“Gotta be worse now that the sun’s gone down,” he remarked, holding his beer in one hand and, in the other, her drink with a cigarette pinched between his index and middle fingers.

As soon as she slid on her jacket, she buttoned it up and then placed her purse back on her shoulder before taking her drink from Noel. She then followed him out through to the front entrance of the Studios where they were smacked with the crisp, late October air. He placed the cigarette between his lips and turned his back against the wind coming at him so he could light the damned thing. Audrey watched as he put the lighter back into his pocket and brought his hand to his mouth to hold onto the cigarette as he took the initial drag from it.

“Oh, taste that cancer,” he said while blowing the smoke past his lips and away from her, as promised.

Audrey rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless. “Is this your only vice; smoking?”

“You don’t consider drinking a vice?”

“Not if it’s done in moderation.”

Noel pulled the cigarette away from him and looked at it. “Well, moderate drinking off the table, yeah; this is my only vice anymore. I mean, there was a time, a few years ago where shit kinda culminated at a mean head. Wasn’t in a good place and doing shit I probably shouldn’t do. But I got a great family and supportive mates and they helped when I needed it.” He looked sideways at Audrey, flashing a cheeky grin. “What about you? Any vices?”

She nodded, holding up her free hand. “Fake nails,” she waved at him.

“That’s not a vice," he tutted. "That’s cosmetic.”

“No, I bite my nails, my real ones, and then they look horrible and they’re painful, so I get fake ones put on to deter myself.”

Nonchalantly, Noel took the hand she had held up, brushing his fingers over her nails and looking at her. “Well, for what it’s worth, they are very pretty fake nails.”

“Thank you,” she replied, even when he didn’t release her hand right away. She suddenly felt her face get a bit warm when he stared at her for a good moment, taking another drag from his cigarette, and then finally letting her hand go.

“So,” he trailed. “Are you really going to only wear cat ears or are you gonna put some effort into a costume for Thursday?”