A Mighty Need

Usually in the cold light of day, a person thinks about things clearly and calmly, without the emotions they had at the time something happened, and they often feel sorry or ashamed about it. For Audrey and Noel, this seemed not to be the case. When the sun rose on the fifth of November, a day of celebration in England, the twosome was awake and still very much naked. Noel was lying on his back with his right arm stretched out at his side and his left arm tucked underneath Audrey as she lay curled into his side. They hadn’t slept at all that night and now it was just after seven in the morning.

Tilting his head, Noel looked at Audrey trying to stifle a yawn and he smiled at her while shifting slightly and then rolling onto his left side so they were facing each other. She was looking back him and looked a bit chilled so he pulled the blankets up over them to their shoulders before resting his head back down on the pillow. If they bothered to get up and look around the room they would see what a mess it was from their uninterrupted carnal shenanigans. They had mainly occupied just the bedroom but had escaped into the sitting room once to grab drinks and snacks from the minibar, then winding up on the floor. Then there was that hour somewhere between three and four in the morning when they jumped in the shower together, made good use of their time in there, and then sat in the empty tub with the hotel’s complimentary robes on while drinking cans of Pepsi and eating from a small bags of cashews.

“I feel like a vampire,” Audrey grumbled, peering over him to the window where some sunlight was shining in. “Up all night, partaking in debauchery, and now the sunlight is kind of hurting my eyes. I might explode into a cloud of dust.”

“Well, we don’t want that,” Noel insisted, lifting the blanket up over their heads. “Here, now we’re safe again until nightfall.”

Audrey made a face. “Only for a little while, actually. We need to sleep. We have to be at Riverside by four.”

“Shit, yeah. I forgot it’s Tuesday now, innit?” Audrey just nodded, and then yawned again which caused Noel to yawn as well. “We really should sleep, shouldn’t we?”

“Mmhmm,” she responded, her eyes drooping slightly.

Noel pulled the blankets back down around their shoulder and reached over her for the hotel phone on the side table on her side of the bed. Picking it up, while trying not to crush Audrey beneath him, he called down to the front desk, asking for a wake-up call for 2pm. That would give him and Audrey about seven hours to sleep and then two hours afterward to get ready before the taping.

“I think they seemed confused as to why some berk was calling from your room.”

“I don’t give a shit what they think,” she mumbled as she buried her face into her pillow. “I wish I could clap my hands and those curtains would close on their own.”

“I’ll get ‘em.” Noel threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, bare-assed, walking over the windows.

“You’ll give the people down below an interesting view,” Audrey laughed as he gave a shake, which only made her laugh harder. As he pulled the curtains closed, she added, “I like my view from here.”

Noel threw her a look over his shoulder and narrowed his tired blue eyes. “Keep talking and we won’t get any sleep at all.”

“We can sleep during the taping.”

Noel chuckled and climbed back into bed, crawling under the covers as Audrey lifted herself up to drape her body on top of his, letting her legs rest on either side of his narrow waist while she sank down onto his lap. Staring up at her, Noel ran his hands up her thighs and came to rest on her hips.

“Be gentle,” he jested. “I’m not exactly a spring chicken anymore.”

“Oh shut up,” Audrey smirked, leaning down to kiss him. “One more round, then sleep.”

Noel bit down gently on her bottom lip, and then nodded. “Deal.”



It ended up being only a little over four hours of sleep that Noel and Audrey got, so when the hotel room phone rang and the girl at the front desk announced to Audrey that it was her 2 o’clock wake-up call, it was like a slap to the face. Noel had no clothes to change into, so he would have to leave and head home before going to Riverside Studios. They decided to take another shower, but this time with no hanky-panky; just both of them in the shower at the same time to save on time. Audrey ordered up room service so they could grab something to eat. Once he got dressed in the clothes he had been wearing when they first got back to the hotel, Noel walked over to Audrey and kissed her and she handed him a can of Pepsi from the minibar “for the road.” They exchanged temporary goodbyes, saying they would see each other in about an hour and with that, it was the first time in two whole days they were apart from one another.

Audrey fiddled about in the suite, but then just decided to sit down in the sitting room and stare out the window at the partly cloudy sky. It suddenly felt like she had just been on a non-stop merry-go-round and was finally stepping off. She couldn’t seem to find her footing, her legs felt wobbly and her head was spinning. And despite all that, she looked forward to another go.

Noel had caught a black cab back to Highgate, drinking the Pepsi that Audrey had given him and just staring out the window the entire time, lost in a daze. Whenever his mind went back to thinking about her, which was pretty much the whole ride back home, he couldn’t help but smile like a loon. He ducked his head and covered his mouth with the can or his hand to keep the cabbie from staring at him via the rearview mirror. He was thankful when the ride came to an end and he was home. His cats were awaiting him at the door and before he went about getting redressed in fresh clothes, he made sure their food and water dishes were full and cleaned out their litter box, which was definitely full.

“What have you two been doing?” he questioned them. “Having a shit-a-thon?” He was answered by a string of mews and them curling around his legs while he tried to walk.

When the cats were taken care of, he went upstairs to change, putting on a pair of his black skinny jeans with white dots on them and a black and white, horizontally striped jumper. He had tossed the clothes he had been wearing to the floor along with his faux fur jacket. He removed his gold Chelsea boots in favor of the silver ones again, and then he put on a silver skeleton hand necklace he was sure he had bought in Paris once. Or maybe it had been local. He couldn’t remember.

At three-thirty on the dot, a car horn blared and he went to his bedroom window to look down at the street, finding a hired car waiting. Every Tuesday when he was filming Buzzcocks, unless he called them otherwise, he used a car service that picked him up at the same time and would take him home later that night when he was ready to leave. Noel hurried to grab his wallet out of the pants he’d been wearing and clamored downstairs with the heels of his boots echoing loudly. He grabbed his keys, told his cats he loved them, and then locked the door behind him as he left.

At five after four, Noel had arrived to Riverside Studios and was making his way through the backstage area, heading to his dressing room where he shed his bomber jacket and went to find the director, Nick Harris, when he ran into Phill who was coming out of his dressing room.

“Hello,” Phill greeted. “And how was your Halloween?”

“Pretty damn good; yours?”

Phill shrugged. “Meh. Had a bunch of trick-or-treaters; it was all around generic.”

Noel smiled and scratched his head. “Have you seen Nick?”

“I saw him duck out into Tulisa’s dressing room to deal with some drama. She’s having personal issues with her rider or something.” Phill rolled his eyes. “I dunno.”

With a laugh, Noel simply patted Phill on his arm and the two went separate ways for a bit. Eventually, Noel had to meet up with Tulisa to rehearse their two bits for the Intros round, which didn’t go very well, because she was distracted by her cell phone and didn’t know one of the songs they were given and made a bit of a fuss over it. Noel tried to be polite and just told her they would wing it later on during the taping and left. With time to kill before the taping’s run-through, Noel decided what he’d wanted to talk to Nick about wasn’t important anymore and went off to locate Audrey’s dressing room. She ended up being in the same dressing room as the week before and he gave a quick couple of knocks before letting himself in.

Audrey was seated at the make-up desk and caught his eye in the mirror. “I could’ve been naked.”

“Should I go back out and give you a few minutes to get undressed, and then come back in?”

She just smiled back at him, setting down her cell phone. “It doesn’t seem like it’s only been two hours since I saw you,” she remarked.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” He made sure the door was closed behind him and locked it before walking up to her.

Audrey didn’t bother answering, but reached out her hand to hook her index fingers into the belt loops of his pants and pull him closer, to which he obliged, staring down at her. She had changed into different clothes than he had last seen her in. She was now wearing a long black jumper that doubled as a short dress and had a white skull face on the front. On her legs was nothing more than a pair of dark stockings that had a skeletal decal to make it look like she had skeleton legs. She was wearing a pair of backless silver heels and a cameo necklace that, on closer inspection, was the profile of skeleton with a Victorian hair-do.

“I think I rubbed off on your style a bit.”

“No, this was my original outfit for Halloween, but since I was a slutty pirate instead…”

“I told you it was a slutty pirate,” he snickered, leaning down and bracing his hands on her chair’s armrests.

“Yeah, yeah,” she shrugged. Looking up at him and meeting his gaze, Audrey grinned. “Did you lock the door?”

Noel nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Audrey brought her fingers to the zipper on his pants and pulled it down. “We gotta make this quick.”

Noel narrowed his eyes and placed his hands under her arms to lift her up out of her seat and set her down on the make-up desk. Running his hands up her thighs, he pulled her stockings down to her ankles along with her panties before shoving his own pants and underwear down. Audrey gripped the collar of his sweater while he gripped her knees and parted her legs. Scooting her bare ass closer to him on the desk, he wasted no time plunging deep into her. Both yelped as quietly as possible, bracing onto each other quite firmly as they rocked together like a screen door in hurricane.

In the midst of their latest tryst, there came a knock at the dressing room door. “Ms. Woods?” came a female voice, which sounded like Clipboard Girl from the previous week.

Noel turned his head slightly and furrowed his brow before bellowing, “Go away.”

Audrey dragged her tongue across her upper teeth to keep from laughing while trying to keep her focus on what he was doing to her. She snaked her arms around his waist and raked her fingernails up the skin of his back underneath his striped sweater. Her gesture caused him to react by a swivel of his hips which brought stars to her eyes. Noel covered her mouth with his; lips pressed roughly together while tongues twirled in a dance.

Once they had each climaxed, Noel rested his forehead down on her shoulder, closing his eyes. Audrey simply placed her hands on the back of his head, holding him there almost like a mother would to console a child. When he lifted his head and stared at her, they both smirked.

“This is the first time I’ve ever gotten laid backstage at a Buzzcocks taping,” he admitted, stepping back to lean down and pick his pants back up.

Audrey slid down off the make-up desk and pulled her panties up, then her stockings. “Was it everything you thought it would be?”

“And more,” he said with a wink, pulling her up against him for a kiss.

Audrey went to her purse and grabbed a moist towelette and a tiny, travel-size bottle of perfume. Unwrapping the towelette, she wiped down the make-up desk which brought a laugh bubbling out of Noel’s throat.

“Did we make such a mess?”

Audrey shook her head. “No, I have to get my make-up done at this desk. I don’t want the make-up girl to somehow get cum or butt sweat transfer into the foundation or something.” That just made Noel laugh more, especially when she spritzed their air with the perfume. Before he could ask, she said, “To cover the smell of sex. We don’t need to air our dirty laundry in front of everyone.”

“You make it sound like I’m your dirty, dirty mistress.”

With the hand not holding the perfume bottle, she grabbed Noel by the chin and gave a gentle squeeze. “My pretty Cockney whore,” she teased with a chuckle.

Noel scrunched his nose at her, giving her a sassy look with his eyes. “I think that knock was to let you know the run-through was about to happen.”

“That knock you so rudely dismissed? Poor girl is probably confused about why some guy yelled at her. What’s more; if she’s a regular staff member here, she’s gonna know your voice and is gonna be more confused as to why you yelled at her to go away from my dressing room.”

“Yeah, well, shit happens.” He looked toward the door. “Do I look like I just had sex or do I look presentable enough to head out to the studio for the run-through?”

Audrey stood there, considering; her arms folded under her bosom and still holding the perfume bottle. “Maybe fix your hair, and you should probably zip your pants.”

Noel looked down and saw his zipper was still down. Upon rectifying that, he ran a hand through his hair just as Audrey pointed the perfume bottle at him and sprayed him. She waved her hand about to force the scented mist to float more around his chest and downward.

“I’m gonna smell like a girl now.”

“Well, either way you’re gonna smell like me. Might as well smell like sunflowers instead of…you know…”

There was another knock on the door at that moment. Noel just winked at Audrey and unlocked the door. When he opened it up, there Clipboard Girl was standing on the other side of the threshold, looking between the pair inside the room. “Nick’s waiting for you two,” was all she said. She seemed a pissed off; most likely because Noel had shouted at her before.

“Sorry about that,” Noel apologized. “We were having a private conversation and didn’t want anyone just barging in.”

Clipboard Girl just nodded and walked away, pulling a walkie-talkie out and muttering something into it. Audrey looked at him and straightened out her own hair before grabbing her cell phone and walking toward the door.

“Maybe we should head into the studio separately.”

Noel nodded. “Alright.” He gestured for her to walk ahead of him. “Ladies first.”

“In that case, be my guest,” she joked, stopping in her tracks and gesturing for him to walk in front of her.

Mock-scoffing at her, Noel gave her a shove, and she continued to walk a few feet in front of him, giving a quick wiggle of her hips that brought a smile to his face. Her heels clacked on the linoleum floors and echoed even more when she entered into the studio. As she passed an assistant or whatever they were, she asked them if she could get a bottle of water. They nodded to her and walked away while she walked to the desk on the set opposite of where she had sat the week before.

Phill was already seated with Nathan Connolly from Snow Patrol on his left. Audrey was seated to Phill’s right; once again the guest who would have to figure out the song intros being performed during the Intros round. Across the way from her, where she had sat next to Noel, was Zane Lowe from BBC Radio 1 and to Noel’s right was Tulisa Contostavlos, formerly of the hip-hop trio N-Dubz. Audrey looked across to Noel who seemed to be frowning already. Her phone buzzed and she looked down at the text she’d received.

I think my team’s gonna lose tonite.

Audrey looked up at Noel again who was looking back with a raised eyebrow.

Sucks to be you. :-P Audrey giggled and pressed send. Setting the phone down under the desk she turned her attention to the host for the evening, comedian Milton Jones. She stole a look at Noel to see if he had gotten and reacted to her text but he was leaning in to listen to whatever Zane was saying in his ear.

After about twenty minutes of run-through, everyone dispersed back to the backstage area. Noel and Audrey went separate ways to get make-up and hair done. Once she was finished and still sitting in the make-up chair, a young guy stepped into the dressing room holding a camera and five Never Mind The Buzzcocks flashcards.

“Hiya,” he greeted when she met his gaze in the mirror. “Do you wanna do your Backstage Buzzcocks questions now? We know you did these last week, too, so we changed them up a little for you.”

Audrey nodded, taking the cards he handed her. “Sure.” She scanned the first one and noticed he had already started to film her. She read the first card allowed, “How have I prepared for the show? I was on last week’s episode, too, so now I have a better handle of what goes on. Watching past episodes doesn’t do the same justice as actually being a part of an episode.” The second question: “What was the first album I bought? Shit…” she trailed. “I think I was about nine or ten and it was Boyz II Men’s Cooleyhighharmony. They’re my hometown boys.” Her third question: “What is my hidden talent? Uh…I can sing? I don’t know if that’s necessarily hidden. Most people can sing.” Fourth question: “If I could pick two celebrities to be my parents, who would I choose? Easy; David Bowie and Stevie Nicks.” Last question: “If I had to marry someone on the panel, who would it be?”

Audrey paused, staring at the card; she decided to be bold but evasive.

“Noel.” Then, “He’s hilarious and it’d be easier to raid his closet.”



In the make-up room before the taping, Noel was standing around talking with Audrey and Phill; the latter making a comment about how he would probably reference how both Noel and Audrey were dressed once the cameras were rolling and how they could respond after that. It was all a part of the ongoing pre-show; things to finalize so the taping went smoother. The guy that filmed Audrey in her dressing room earlier returned to film Noel, Audrey and Phill for extra Backstage Buzzcocks footage.

“So, Audrey was on last week’s episode, being fantastic as a last minute replacement,” Phill said toward the camera. He had an arm around her shoulder, Noel had an arm around her waist and Audrey had both her arms around both their backs. “Last week she won on Noel’s team, and I think she’s gonna help us win on my team tonight. I’ve got a feeling.”

“How do you know she’s not a plant; sent by me to undermine your success?” Noel quipped.

“These are all solid possibilities,” Audrey nodded. “I guess you’ll never know.”

“Unless we win,” Phill said.

“Maybe I want you to win,” Noel continued on with a laugh. “What an epic plot twist that’d be.”

“But what would you gain from it?”

“A warm fuzzy feeling in the cockles of my heart.”

Phill laughed and shook his head.

Audrey stared straight at the camera. “This PSA for convoluted friendships is brought to you by the letters WTF.” She gave the camera an exaggerated wink as Noel ducked away, chuckling a bit.

A short while later, the team captains and their teammates went out into the studio where the audience was already seated and waiting. They cheered, mostly for Noel, it seemed. He was holding a bottle of water and walked over to the front row when an audience member shouted something to him. Audrey hadn’t heard what was said but she did see how Noel was laughing and responding cheekily in return. He then scooted over to his side of the desk and took a seat while the director rambled on about something. Audrey was starting to drown everything out while she got situated and waited for everything to just begin. It seemed so weird not being on Noel’s side this time around. Phill was a great enough team captain though. While the set assistants (or whatever their official job titles were) went around turning on everyone’s mics, Phill kept making little quips here and there to both Nathan and Audrey. He made one good joke about Tulisa and her recent drug scandal under his breath that caused Audrey to duck her face down toward the desk to hide her laughter. When she looked back up, she saw Noel smirking back in her direction.

“What you laughing at over there? The show hasn’t even begun.”

“We’re just that hilarious over on this side,” she answered and Phill gave her a proud pat on the back. “Comedy never takes a holiday.”

She forgot that her mic was on so the audience heard her better than they would’ve if she was just talking normally. There was some laughter from them and she cast a glance in their direction with a smile.

Soon enough, taping officially began, with Milton Jones being introduced and him wandering out onto the set looking confused. Audrey wasn’t too familiar with him but, having met him backstage earlier, was clued in on that him acting confused was part of his shtick. He took a seat and, after some banter between himself and both teams, the first round began with a game of Sorry No Refunds. Phill’s team went first, and they each pulled a prop out from underneath the desk. Nathan had a teddy bear, Phill had a picture of a pot leaf on a white flashcard and Audrey had an empty bottle of beer. They were asked by Milton to determine which caused Britney Spears to delay a concert, halfway through, in Vancouver in 2009 for a half hour.

“Did someone throw a teddy bear at her, but someone smoking pot thought, ‘hey, that won’t do any damage’ so they threw a bottle instead?” Audrey questioned, in turn receiving laughs.

“Do you think Britney Spears fans are that violent?” Phill asked of her.

“I don’t know. I’m not one of them.”

In the end, they decided to go with the bottle, and were wrong. Apparently too many people smoking marijuana created so much smoke that Britney and her dancers couldn’t continue to perform until the air was ventilated. It was then on to Noel’s team, who also got the first round wrong. At the end of the first round, neither team had any points.

Next, during the Intros Round, Nathan and Phill stood up to perform the first intro listed inside the silver envelope Milton had given them. Audrey was having a tough time trying to figure it out, so it ended up being passed to Noel’s team who got it. It was apparently “Semi-Charmed Life” by Third Eye Blind.

“I know that song, but that sounded nothing like it,” Audrey pouted.

Phill gave her an exaggerated scoff and pointed at Noel’s side. “They got it!”

Audrey waved her hand at Noel, Tulisa and Zane. “Yeah, ‘cause of witchcraft or something.”

The next intro was much easier. She knew where the song was from right away, and said as much but they pestered her for the song title.

“It’s from Dirty Dancing. Uh, I love that movie.”

“Yeah, that’s nice. What’s the song?” Phil urged.

“Okay, okay…” she threw her hands up in mock surrender. “It’s ‘Hungry Eyes.’ I don’t know the singer’s name but it’s on the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.”

Milton nodded. “You are correct. ‘Hungry Eyes’ was performed by Eric Carmen for the film Dirty Dancing. Here’s how it should’ve sounded…”

Noel’s team was next for Intros and they got their first song right, but the second song Zane had no clue about, but Audrey was nearly jumping out of her seat at it.

“I know! Throw it over here!”

Milton quipped, “I have a feeling Phill’s team might know the answer.”

“It’s ‘Criminal’ by Fiona Apple.”

“That’s is also correct,” Milton confirmed.

Next was the Identity Parade which Phill’s team won a point, but Noel’s team didn’t. Filming paused for about five minutes when Zane Lowe had to use the bathroom, and then Tulisa decided to do the same. Noel sat alone at his desk, joking that now it was three against one, so Audrey got up and walked over to sit down where Zane had been and where she had sat the week before. She made a comment about giving him some of her good luck since his team didn’t seem to be faring well. As Zane came back, Audrey stood up to give the DJ back his seat but not before ruffling Noel’s hair playfully.

After the Next Lines round had concluded for both teams, Phill’s team had beaten Noel’s team by three points. Phill placed a hand on the backs of Nathan and Audrey, the audience clapped and cheered, and filming finished moments later. The show’s official photographer came around and had both captains and their teams gather around for a photo with Milton, followed by a photo of Milton with just the captains, then two separate photos of the captains with their teammates.

As the audience exited and the studio was virtually void of only staff and crew, Audrey found herself headed backstage toward her dressing room when Tulisa walked up to her, tapping her on the shoulder.

“You’re a writer, right?”

Audrey nodded. “Yep.”

“D’you write, like, what—novels or something?”

“I’ve written two books; they’re pretty much a collection of humorous and mostly autobiographical essays about things that have happened in my life.”

“Oh, so you don’t write, like, regular stories with imaginary characters?”

“No, but hopefully someday soon.”

“That’s cool though,” Tulisa smiled. “You’ve done good, though, with your writing?”

“Well.”

“What?”

“I’ve done well.” Tulisa looked confused, so Audrey just shook her head. “Nevermind.”

Audrey was saved by the bell when Noel walked up and slightly ignored Tulisa a bit to speak to her instead. “Hey, so what plans do you have for after here? It’s Bonfire Night and the last night you've really got to do anything while you’re here.”

“Oh, shit, yeah,” Audrey muttered. “I forgot. I had gotten a text from Stephen Fry on Sunday. He invited me to some Bonfire Night party he was throwing.”

“Are you going?” Noel looked somewhat deflated.

“I hadn’t responded to him.”

“You should go,” he insisted, trying to play it cool.

“I’m pretty sure Stephen would be okay with me bringing a guest. I mean, you two know each other, right?”

Tulisa seemed to take a hint and walked away, leaving Audrey and Noel to talk with one another in the hall. Noel nodded at her question and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Yeah, I know him. I’ve done his show Q.I. before.”

“Yeah, he invited me to come be on it when they start filming again this spring.” Audrey then held his gaze. “If I text him back to say I can make it to his shindig, will you come? To be honest, he might be the only one there I know and it would be easier having another friendly face to hang around when he goes to mingle with his other guests.”

Noel narrowed his eyes and smirked. “On one condition.”

“What?” she asked apprehensively, but with a hint of amusement.

“You spend all day tomorrow with me, and then you gotta come back to London sometime soon after this trip.”

Audrey smirked. “I’ll have to see if my schedule will allow it.”

Noel smacked his lips and opened her dressing room door for her, shoving her playfully inside. “Do I gotta convince you?” was the last thing any possible passers-by would’ve heard before he ducked inside the room with her, locking the door behind them.