You and Me

I step closer to you, letting my gaze fall from your handsome face down to the camera you hold. You flick through the stream of photographs one after the other, stopping on a candid shot of me from a distance. You tell me how beautiful I look with the Autumn sun dancing around me. Your words cause my heart to hop, skip, and jump.

You pass through a few photos with determination, making your way to one image in particular. You nudge me, your dazzling grin catching my eye. How free you look when you smile, it still takes my breath away.

In your hands lie the source of such delight. Pictures of better days gone by, the image of our happiness stinging my eyes. The sight of ourselves in a younger, responsibility-free form is heart warming. Simple times held simple pleasures. Then we grew up.

You learned how to lie. I learned how to believe. Feelings became our enemies, pushing us to fight against each other. Oh, how life became cruel without you by my side.

The way your lips felt against mine is something I miss. Now all your loving touches are saved for her. Is she less complex, more sane, than me? Was she just a ‘friend’ like I was?

I can’t remember whose fault this all is. Did I push you away? Or did you finally understand how much you hurt me?

I hope you don’t see through my façade; I work hard to keep my true feelings hidden from you. It’s because I’m bitter. I can’t love you without hating you.

I wish for things to go back to how they were. When days were shorter and nights dragged on. When you had me and I had you.

But then I think.

Do your lips miss how your lies once caressed them?

Does your tongue pine for the taste of deceit?

Do your hands roam for the body of someone else?

And I know, deep down in this muscle that pumps misery through my veins, that she is not what you deserve.

And neither am I.