I'd Go Through Hell and Back for You

It’s the night of The Summer Set’s Anaheim show, Brian wanted me to go with him to the venue earlier but I told him that I had an appointment and I would meet him there. He know something is wrong with me other than me being sick but he won’t ask any questions. I feel bad for keeping secrets but I need to deal with this asshole myself. Plus he doesn’t need to worry about me while he’s on the read. I know that I need to tell everyone what’s going on before it gets bad but I want to try and squash this shit myself first. NO one messes with my best friend and gets away with it.

Me, Demi and Alex are driving to the show right now and Demi decides it’s the perfect time to point something out. “The last time we all were at this House of Blues together I caught Selena and Brian fucking in the bathroom.”

I can feel my face heat up and it’s probably red as a tomato. “Oh my god! Did you really have to bring that up?”

“Of course.” Demi looked back at me and laughed. “I will always tease you about that.”

“What’s crazy is that day has been nearly two years ago. I never thought I would be with Demi, let alone engaged to her after that night.” Alex said.

“A lot has changed.” I sighed and leaned my head against the window. “But some things will always remain the same.”

“That’s cryptic.” Demi looked back at me once again with a confused expression on her face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just that some people don’t change.” I shrugged.

Good things we arrived at Disneyland so we can focus on the show and not on my cryptic statements. When we got the the House of Blues we went straight backstage. We were twenty minutes early so the place was already packed. “Hey pretty girl.” Brian said when he saw me. He walked over and kissed me sweetly on the lips.

“Get a room.” John yelled.

“More like a bathroom.” Stephen laughed. The guys laughed too and highfived Stephen but Jess just rolled her eyes.

“What the fuck?” Jenn, Stephen’s girlfriend, said confused.

“Shut the hell up!” I flipped the boys off. “Don’t listen to anything these psychos have to say, Jenn.”

“I never do.” she laughed earning a glare from Stephen. Jenn stood up and came over to give me a hug. We don’t see each other very often but we’re pretty good friends.

After everyone got their teasing out of their systems, we started to catch up. Stephen said that Brian has been a crab lately since Jenn and Jess’ girlfriend, Caroline, have been on the road with them for the past week and I couldn’t be there too. Half way through Lydia’s set I said I was going to go get some air. Brian offered to join me but I told him that I would just be a few minutes. He gave me a hurt expression but let me go. I know he just wants to spend what little time he has with me but I was feeling a bit suffocated right now. I walked outside and saw Connor sitting at the merch table. “Hey sexy, can I get your number?” I tried to disguise my voice.

Connor was looking down at his phone so didn’t know it was me yet. “uh, no sor...oh hey Selena!” he finally looked up and seemed excited to see me. He came around the table and gave me a hug. “I didn’t know you’d be here tonight.”

“Well I am.” I smiled. “Can I hang out here for a bit?”

“Sure. What’s going on?” he asked curiously as he walked back around the table and got a chair for me to sit on.

I sighed and sat down, “Can you keep a secret?”

Connor nodded but before I could tell him anything a couple of girls walked up to the table. Connor looked up and smiled at them thinking they were there for merch, but instead they asked me if I were Selena Gomez. When I said I was they squealed and asked if they could get an autograph. I happily said yes. I love my fans and would do anything for them. “You and Brian make an adorable couple by the way.” one of the girls told me before they walked away.

Once they were a safe distance away I groaned and sat back on the chair. Connor looked at me confused. “what’s wrong?”

“What that girl said just made things awkward.” I sighed.

“What do you mean? You guys are sickeningly adorable.” he furrowed his eyebrows.

“My secret is that I’m thinking of breaking up with Brian.” Connor’s eyes widened at my confession.

“What? Why?” he exclaiming.

“Shouldn’t you be doing backflips? You’ve wanted me single since the day I met you.” I tried to laugh but couldn’t.

“I may joke about that all the time but that doesn’t mean that I want to see it happen. Brian loves you, I’ve never seen him so happy.”

“I love him too.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “I’ve never loved a guy like I love Brian and I probably never will. But sometimes love isn’t always enough to keep a relationship going.”

“Don’t do anything irrational. talk to me, what’s going on?” concern was written all over his face.

“If I had met you before Brian and you swept me off my feet, would you want to marry me?” I asked, not really answering his question.

“Anyone would be an idiot to not want to marry you.” he rubbed my arm then realized what I had asked. “Is that what this is about? Brian doesn’t want to marry you?”

I shrugged in defeat. “He said wanting to get married at twenty two is insane. He even retweeted that damn tweet about it’s like leaving a party at 9:30. When Alex asked him when he’s going to pop the question with me, he got so pale like someone told him that his mom died. He’s a child and is content with being a child for as long as he can.” tears welled up i my eyes. “I”m not in the same place Demi is in but that doesn’t mean that I won’t want to get married and would happily accept a marriage proposal right now and have a long engagement. I don’t see getting married young as a death sentence. Can’t you be young and married and still maintain your youth?”

“Of course.” he said said quickly like he didn’t even have to think about it. “Yeah statistics on young marriage isn’t that great, but that doesn’t mean it’s doomed to fail. Or when you meet your soulmate you just said hey we’re young we can’t do this. When you find that person that you know in your heart you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, you hold on with dear life and don’t let it go.”

“And how long do I have to hold on before he decides to return the favor?” I snapped. I instantly felt bad for snapping at him but I'm just so frustrated.

“I didn’t mean to offend or upset you. I’m sorry.” he said quietly and looked away from me.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. I’m so damn frustrated and you’re just trying to help. There is a lot going on and I can’t talk to him about it because he’s a damn child. I can’t do this alone.” my voice cracked and I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing out of my eyes. Now Connor looked panicked. I don’t think he’s ever seen me cry. He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.

“If you need to talk, I'm here. I know you have a lot of friends and we don’t know each other that well, but I am always here to listen.” he said which made me feel better.

I sat up and wiped my face, hoping my make-up isn’t smeared. “This all started when I thought I was pregnant,” I paused not sure if I should say anything but continued talk. “but it ended up being a medical issue and now he’s acting so different. Like becoming a dad would have ended his world.”

“He’s an idiot if he fucks things up with you.” he flashed me a sympathetic smile. “and I hope this medical thing isn’t bad. You are okay, right?”

“I’ll let you know when I do.” I sighed with a sad smile. I hated to lie but I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. I hope that he doesn’t mention anything to Brian because I don’t want to get into another fight with him.

I was about to tell Connor that I should go back inside when Demi came out looking for me. When she spotted me she came over and said hi to Connor. “The Summer Set is about to go on and Brian is worried about you.”

“I was just talking to Connor. I didn’t realize that I was gone so long.” I told her, but I did. I just couldn’t go back inside yet.

I stood up and said bye to Connor then me and Demi made our way back inside. Before we got to the dressing room Demi stopped me. “I can tell that you were crying, what’s going on?”

“I”m just on in the happy relationship like it appears to be.” I said nonchalantly then walked away. I’ll talk to her about all of this mess later. It’s not really the time or place to get into it. I just hope that I can figure everything out before things explode in my face. And there is only one place I can clear my head and get things into perspective so I can make a rational decision. But right now I have to get through tonight.