His Car Crash Heart

Aria didn’t know what she was doing. Somehow, insomnia had turned into a handful of sleeping pills and, with different other pills, she had woken up in the middle of fucking Wilmette. She recognized the streets, knew the names and the houses. Patrick lived nearby, and although the name sent a pang of guilt inside her chest where her heart was supposed to be, she still couldn’t help but feel that he had forgiven her a long time ago. She wasn’t going to see him again, anyway.

Groaning, she sat up from the concrete floor. She recognized the park, so with a sigh she stood and began to walk. Where? She didn’t know. Evanstone wasn’t too far, but it still was. Her mother was going to kill her. She had walked to Wilmette high off her ass for some reason. Why not Glenview, though? Patrick had moved there, why the hell was she in Wilmette?

She felt slightly sick, and had it not been for the almost-overdose on her medication she probably would’ve had company to talk to her. What a sight. A teenager talking to herself whilst she walked the streets of another town in the middle of the fucking night. Sighing, she clutched her stomach and groaned to herself. She felt awful.

A light alerted her of a car, and she would’ve probably ignored it had it not been for the fact that it stopped by her side. Fear crept up her spine until she turned and saw a now familiar face behind the wheel of the vehicle. It was Pete. That Pete, Pete Wentz. Bipolar Pete. Juliet’s Pete. Or, well, ex-Juliet’s Pete. Now Juliet and Nick fucked on regular basis. Poor Pete.

“You look like shit,” was all he said.

“You look miserable as hell,” she shot back, watching the deep rings under his eyes and the nail he didn’t stop biting until then.

“Com’n, get inside,” he sighed.

“What makes you think I—” she paused, turning around only to empty her entire stomach into the concrete floor. Different colors fell; she could see blue, green, yellow and some white.

“Fuck, Aria,” Pete opened the door hastily as she coughed, her throat burning. “Are those—”

“Fuck off,” she wheezed.

“Your house was in fucking Glenview, what are you doing in Wilmette?” he grasped her arms.

“I don’t know,” her eyes burned. “I don’t fucking know, okay?”

“How many did you take?” he turned her around.

“Why do you fucking care?” she spat weakly.

“Because I work the night shift and you’re the closest thing to a friend that I have right now,” he spit back, shaking her shoulders. “Did you do it on purpose?”

“Yes, I did,” Aria replied smugly. “And I’m still alive. Will you let me go now?”

“No,” Pete frowned. “Get in the car, we’re going to the hospital.”

“Fuck you, you don’t get to boss me around,” she shoved him back and stumbled, falling to the vomited floor with a thud. “Fucking hell…”

“Aria,” Pete called.

She whimpered, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face so Pete wouldn’t see her. So she wouldn’t see him. So the world wouldn’t see her third failure and then He wouldn’t mock her. Why couldn’t they leave her alone? Why couldn’t He leave her alone? It was all His fault. If it weren’t for Him, she wouldn’t be taking pills or even want to off herself.

“Just leave me alone,” a cry edged on her throat. “I hate it. All of you. Every single one of you. You don’t care and never will, so spare me the pain of your fucking presence.”

For a moment all that was heard was the engine of his car. Then a sigh, which came out of Pete, and then she felt two arms being wrapped around the back of her knees and her shoulders. He lifted her up like she weighted nothing more than a feather, opening the backdoor and making her lie down on her front so she wouldn’t stain the backseats.

He climbed on the driver’s seat and shut the door, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“Where are you taking me?” she croaked.

“To my house,” he responded, making an illegal U turn and moving along within the speed limit.

“Were you going somewhere important?” she asked softly.

Pete’s knuckles turned white for a minute, then his entire figure seemed to relax. He even smiled at her from the mirror. She just had to give him a little smile back. He seemed, for some reason, extremely relieved.

“No, Aria,” he sighed happily. “I wasn’t going anywhere important at all.”



Pete’s house was actually his parent’s house. When they arrived Aria read on the clock that it was around four in the morning, which made her cringe but she still clutched Pete’s Morrissey shirt tighter in her hands, burying her face deeply into his neck. He carried her to the stairs, and then up the stairs, and then to a room which she supposed belonged to him. The snoring inside threw her off; was the Animal with him?

“Shit, the Disaster’s here, I forgot,” Pete hissed under his breath.

“Do all your friends have single-word nicknames?” Aria questioned, her breath catching when his oh, so close face turned to hers. Their noses were almost touching, but he didn’t seem to realize this fact as he throatily and quietly laughed.

“Just the cool ones,” he replied. “Come on, you’re sleeping on Andrew’s room.”

“Who’s Andrew?”

“My little brother,” He pushed the door left to his with his foot, revealing a dark room that smelled strongly of college student. “He’s away at college right now, so it’s alright.”

“Okay,” she replied.

“I’ll bring you some sweatpants and a t shirt to sleep with, just wait here,” he placed her on the floor, her feet finally touching it softly.

“Pete,” she called as he grasped the knob of the door.

“Yeah?” he hummed, turning to look at her with those brilliant shades of brown. He had the most beautiful and poetic eyes she had ever seen in her life.

“Why are you doing this?” she couldn’t stop the quiver of her lower lip, arms wrapping around herself in a desperate attempt to build up her walls again. “You could’ve just left me there, especially with the way I treated you.”

She was about to cry, and Pete probably sensed it, because his hand was reaching to grasp hers and then she was looking up into his beautiful caramel orbs again.

“Don’t degrade yourself,” he whispered, seeing as his family was probably asleep. “You’re a good girl, Aria, a really good girl, and you don’t deserve what you have inside your head. Nobody really does, but, it’s especially you who doesn’t. I wouldn’t have left you there. You’re my friend, aren’t you?”

“Y-yeah,” she stuttered.

“Good,” he grinned.

It wasn’t until Pete closed the door when Aria realized that holy shit; she had vomited her pills—including her Clozaril. She froze, completely stunned, at the fact that there was no one around. There were no voices, no visions, no strange feather-like touches that made her skin crawl, nothing.

Nothing at all.

“Hey, I hope you like The Stooges becau—Aria?”

Pete stood in front of the door, watching the redhaired doubled over, crying silently into her hands as her shoulders shook violently.

“Aria, are you okay?” Pete quickly grasped her shoulders, trying to get a look at her. “Are you seeing anything? Or hearing anything?”

She shook her head, gasping for air.

“Then what’s wrong?” he was beginning to get scared when she choked out a laugh, gripping his arm almost painfully. “Aria?”

“Nothing is wrong,” she wheezed out, eyes wide and grey and Pete felt something in the insides of his ribcage make a double flip when she smiled. “Nothing is wrong, Pete. I-I—you saw it. You saw the pills on the concrete, every single one of them, you saw them!”

“I-I did,” he nodded, agreeing with her. “Maybe you still have one or something?”

“Yeah,” she nodded softly. “M-Maybe, maybe I do, yeah, that’s gotta be it.”

Pete bit his lip, ready to ask the obvious question but he swallowed it roughly, squeezing her shoulders instead.

“You look exhausted, Aria, go to sleep,” he sighed.

“Okay,” she sighed back, nodding to herself. “Thank you so much for everything, Pete, really, I…” she took a deep breath. “I probably wouldn’t have made it tonight, so… thanks. Really.”

The smile that overtook his features made her think that maybe tonight had also been rough for him. After all, he had been in his car at three in the morning, looking like a raccoon ready to fall asleep on the wheel.

“I have to thank you, too,” he clutched the Stooges shirt in his hand before relaxing, chuckling to himself. “I was about to make an error a habit. Juliet is bound to get disappointed tonight. I guess I just did what I had to, but I wouldn’t have walked away had it not been for your sorry ass.”

Aria merely grinned, grabbing the clothes and sighing to herself.

“So we’re tied?” she giggled a little.

“Yeah, I think so,” he shrugged. “Tomorrow I have to get back on the road, but you can ride in the bus to Glenview.”

“God, you’re the best,” she groaned, not being able to stop the embrace she gave him, squeezing him tightly. “Goodnight, Pete. Thanks for everything.”

“Night, Aria.”

When Aria was finally settled between the sheets she began to feel for real her stomach rumbling. And she knew it wasn’t the pills, or nausea, or even hunger.

Because she knew, she just knew, that it was Pete.