Come Back to Me - It's Almost Easy

"I can't do this anymore."

She sat on top of an amp on stage, legs dangling from it, a cigarette between my lips.
The past 3 days had been like hell to her. Of course, it had been great hanging out with the guys and seeing them live and spending time with Zack.
But since that morning with Brian, she started feeling uncomfortable around him, and the looks he gave her. All the friendship she had for him...the good times they had, all of them ended abruptly when his eyes changed, a little fire burning in them. He found too many excuses to touch her. To pull her on his lap. To hug her tightly.
Every time, her body tightened under his touch, that felt like fire on her skin. She hated the feelings that haunted her every time he gave her those stares. She hated to feel this way.
She knew she loved Zack more than anything and she couldn't understand why her emotions were running wild whenever Brian looked at her with his chocolate brown eyes.

"You can't do what?"

She raised her head, not having noticed that someone had walked up to her. Brian lit a cigarette and stopped in front of her, leaning against the big amp right next to her, his arm making contact with her leg, as if in coincident. She felt an electrical surge shoot through her body. Fuck!

"All of this! The way you look at me and make me feel when we touch! I shouldn't feel this way for you, and it's killing me. It's not right and I don't wanna feel this way...I don't even know when all of this started."

All of this left her lips without a breath. She hung her head, her long curls throwing a curtain over her face. She had just confessed her deepest emotions, having hoped she would never have to admit to them. Not admitting meant that it wasn't real, no?

"You really feel that way about me Lea? Why didn't you tell me?"

He stood now in front of her, sliding in between her legs, placing his hands left and right next to her thighs on top of the black amp.

"Because I don't want to feel this way! I am in love with Zack for crying out loud! I don't want to feel this way, you're my friend and his friend. In fact, I don't wanna have these kind of feelings for any man apart from Zack. My heart tells me that I am in love with him, and my head as well...and from somewhere comes that flame, whenever you look at me and touch me."

She didn't dare look at him. She didn't want that feeling to take a hold of her again.

"Lea? Things between you and Zack have been off, and he didn't only cheat on you in plain sight, but he also raped you. I still haven't forgiven him for any of this. And ever since that night at Johnny's...my feelings towards you changed. I tried to hide it and just put it off as sorrow I felt for you...but the night of the NYC show, seeing you all loony and that sparkle in your eyes, I fell for you and there is nothing I was able to do about it!"

She flung her cigarette to the ground. She had know that there was something behind his behavior, but had hoped that it wouldn't come to this.

"And that is the exact reason why I can't stay here any longer. Brian, don't you see what is happening? It's all repeating itself! First Matt fucks up, then Zack...and now you are trying to offer the same thing he has back then. But it's different this time round: I don't hate Zack like I did with Matt...I love him! Please, just...just forget about what you're feeling for me, otherwise there is no way I can be around you, and Zack would get suspicious."

She tried to push him away, but he didn't nudge, the muscles in his arms playing as he held on more firmly to the amp.

"But I can see in your eyes, that you want me, too, Lea! You can't even look at me now because you don't want to give your feelings away completely. Just end it with him...we don't have to tell people, but I want ho be with you...have you!"

He inched closer again, his forehead leaning against hers, as he hugged her. The scent of her summery smell made him close his eyes for a moment. He could feel that her body stiffened as his embraced tightened.

"I am sorry Brian. I may have this feeling of attraction towards you, but that is all it can be. I am not going to drive this group further apart then I already have and I am not gonna leave Zack. He may have fucked up, but he loves me and I love him."

She heard the familiar voices of the other guys behind the stage somewhere, adrenalin rushing through her veins. She pushed him off her and jumped off the amp, brushing her wild mane of locks behind the shoulders. Brian grabbed her hand, as the guys climbed up the side steps of the stage from tonight's show.

"You better leave the tour then, because I will not change the way I feel for you, or the way I look at you, and I am not planning on hiding it any longer. Zack fucked up, and he doesn't deserve your love, I may not love you, but I will respect you and give you all you could possibly need."

He whispered into her ear as the others came closer. Her heart dropped.

"I am leaving for home tomorrow if this is the only way you gonna stop being an egoistic and cocky prick! God, I can't believe you're pushing the envelope over to me, although you are the one that started all this shit!"

Lea spat out in anger, loud enough for the others to hear, as she ripped her hand out of his and stormed off. She was incapable of trying to hide her frustration, emotions running wild, tears building up in her eyes.
How in hell did she always end up in sticky situations like this! All she wanted was to be with Zack. She didn't ask for much. She didn't want Brian the way he did, she had been flying high on drugs the night he had kissed her, and badly hungover with a high percentage of rest alcohol still in her blood when he had kissed her the morning after. She had never meant to encourage him to feel anything for her.

Zack looked at Brian, confusion written all over his face as his eyes were met by Brian's icy stare. Something was off, and it was not the first time he had gotten this feeling in the past few days. His friend was around Lea too much for his liking, and this change in attitude was odd. Brian and Lea had gotten along before, but they hadn't been close. And then Brian's outburst backstage at the New York gig. He had expected Matt, or even Dave to charge at him...but not Brian.

"What just happened here Haner?"

Matt broke the silence, as they reached their lead guitarist near center stage. Brian crushed his cigarette on the ground, looking back up at them, just a weak smile on his lips, not reaching his eyes.

"He tried to make a move on my girlfriend and she told him off, that's what happened!"

Zacky replied on Brian's behalf, his green eyes turning a darker shade of jade, as Brian's expressions clearly motioned that he had been caught. He remained silent, pushing his hands in his well- worn jeans pockets.

"I should have seen it coming. You were in touch with her all the time she was in New York, every day texting and calling her, and then the morning after the gig in NYC...I had seen you look at her that way when I walked in...the way I look at her, and even Shads does from time to time, but I had shrugged it off, simply thinking I was being silly for thinking so. You damn well know I was going to ask her to marry me in Vegas tomorrow...why on earth could you not bite your tongue and go grab some random fucking groupie, but try and twist my girl's feelings? I am telling you the same I once said to Matt: Keep your hands off my woman, and don't even think about her, don't look at her with that lusty eyes of yours!"

Zacky finished his lecture and turned on his heels, trying to catch up with Lea, who was pushing open the metal doors to the outside.

"Since this woman came into our middle, there is nothing but drama here. Seriously! I know she looks amazing and she has great personality on top of that...but 3 friends starting a bidding- war over her...sounds like a bad soap opera, don't you think? Maybe it's good if she leaves the tour tomorrow...the tension is too fucking heavy man!"

Johnny said in thoughts, but the other guys knew that he was correct, Matt and Brian exchanging stares.

"She's gonna marry him tomorrow, you do know that Haner, right? He wanted to get engaged, but thanks to you pushing her over the edge, she's gonna jump into his arms and drag him to a chapel herself, just so she finally gets her point across to me and now even you, that all our attempts are useless and unwanted. Before this, I still had hope....but you fucked it up Bri."

Jimmy just stared at both of them, not believing what he heard.

"I thought Johnny was funny when he mentioned 'bidding war' earlier...but that is exactly what is going on here! Fuck guys...there are thousands of women out there, and you are ruining the happiness of your best friend, not caring that he will never trust you around her again! I do hope they get married tomorrow, just so I can see the humiliation in your faces when she says 'I do'."