Secretly Forever Yours

"You're out of your mind," I say.
"Thank you," he says sarcastically. "If you must know, we're headed to the city."
From Hicktown, USA (That's what I call my hometown...), it should take us about forty minutes or so.
Kyler and I both live in this town. I have always lived here and Kyler moved here from upstate New York a few years ago. My mom's family is from New York as well and I can throw a decent northern accent.
Hicktown USA? Probably the worst place to live in the entire world. The people here are so small minded and there's nothing to do. The county's place-to-be is the Walmart, which is about five minutes away from the high school.
Kyler lives maybe twenty minutes from me or so. We each live about fifteen minutes away from the school.
We're riding along the highway with Kyler's favorite band, a rap band called French Montana, blaring through the speakers.
I sigh deeply.
"What?" He asks.
"I need to convert you to rock music. This is a disgrace to music itself."
"Don't you hate on my French Montana!"
I take out his iPod and attach the chord to mine. "This is for your own good."
"You don't listen to Bella's music, right?"
Bella has a very different taste in music, such as Black Veil Brides. It's heavy, heavy metal.
"No, mine's more...calm,"
"All right. Lay it on me,"
I flip through my music awkwardly with my hand shaking. 'All right, hand and nerve endings,' I think. 'You keep your shit together.' I could start him out with Five Finger Death Punch, but that's also heavy metal. Not that he'd hate metal, but I want him to appreciate rock first. I come across my favorite band, Linkin Park. Perfect. Now to pick a song...
I start him out with my all time favorite, Leave Out All the Rest.
It starts out with a tune and then the lyrics come.
"So, this is rock?"
"Yes. Or well, technically alternative with rock intermingled,"
"It's interesting. But is there anything more up beat?"
"Yes. The Catalyst," I say as I switch the song.
The lyrics start, "God bless us everyone. We're a broken people living under loaded gun. It can't be out fought. It can't be out done. It can't be out matched. It can't be out run. No." It repeats.
"Now this is more my speed," He says. He lowers the volume a touch. "Aren't you at least a bit curious why we're going to the city?"
"Nope. I kind of just going with the flow now. I trust you,"
He smiles. "Good. You can trust me,"
"This better be worth ditching class for,"
"You're about to have the time of your life, St. Cloud,"

We go for another ten minutes in silence.
I flip through the music on my iPod and stare out the window, bobbing my head to New Divide, What I've Done, and In the End.
I watch Kyler drive too. He's pretty calm. Both hands stay on the steering wheel for the most part. He turns up some songs and lowers others. He jumped when I accidentally clicked Cyanide Sweet Tooth Suicide by Shinedown. It starts out really loud, so naturally he jumped.
I lower the volume on Numb and ask, "So do you do this often?"
"Go to the city or ditch?"
"Umm, both?"
"I go to the city all the time. I've only ditched once before," He says. "The city helps me think. And I ditched with a friend when I was a freshman,"
Wow. He is a badass. "May I ask?"
"You can. It's not much of a story though. We got outside and got caught. Got kicked out for a week," He sighs. "Worst mistake I ever made,"
Huh. Maybe not. "What made you do it again with me?"
"I don't know. I wanted to redeem myself, I guess. And I needed to just get out. I'm so tired of this place. I miss New York so badly. I'm losing my mind," He says, his voice kind of breaks.
I say nothing and don't look over at him. A breaking voice is a sign of crying. I think I saw tears in his eyes once before. It was in Spanish 1, but I never asked. Some subjects you just stay away from.
He coughs. He's clearing his throat. He was crying. "And I had to help you out. You're such a stick in the mud, St. Cloud." He laughs, but it falters.
"I know. I'm nothing like Chris. I'm just a big blah. He's the fun one,"
"I'm not so sure about that," He says. His voice is clear now, strong. "You're here with me now."

He takes a turn off the highway abruptly. I jolt to the side of the car.
"What the hell, Kyler?!" I shout.
We start going up a mountain. A one lane road to be exact. It's rocky and uneven. The car bounces and so do we.
"I thought you said we were going to the city," I say, very confused.
"Sorry, I should have been more clear. We're going to my special overlook of the city," He says.
We finish climbing the mountain. He pulls into a little clearing. He pops the trunk and fiddles with something in it.
"What are you...?" I start and then I see what he's getting.
A blanket, a book, and a portable speaker.
"Kyler's Ultimate AP Stress Fighting materials," He says as he locks the car.
He takes my hand and starts walking. There's a small clearing in the woods. We go through the clearing and come to what seems to be a nature made door. He pushes it and it opens into a secret paradise.
"This is my place," He says. "That's Bob and Steve," He points at two squirrels. "And Jill," He points at a cardinal.
I laugh. There's a little spring and the leaves are still a rich green. There's a hammock that hands between two trees.
"So no one else knows about this?"
"It was just me, Bob, Steve, and Jill," He says. "Now there's you. And when Jill brings her man friend. There's him too,"
I laugh. "Steve and Bob don't have lady friends?" I joke.
He looks at me very seriously. "No..."
It takes me a minute. "Oh..." I say awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn't know,"
He shrugs. "It's cool. They're cool with it. Anyway," He spreads out the blanket on the ground.
We lay down on it. He picks up the book. And I get the speaker playing. I pick a sweet love song; All or Nothing by Theory of a Deadman.
Kyler begins to sing, "'When I first saw you standing there, you know it was a little hard not to stare," And continues.
It's soft and like a lullaby. He's on pitch and doesn't squeak. I could fall asleep to that every night for the rest of my life.
I look over at him and his eyes are closed. That is the first time I have ever seen him at peace. He always seems to be worrying about something, whether it be an AP class or football. Too much stress isn't healthy, but a little keeps you sane.
"Claire," Kyler says. He rolls over to look at me.
I've noticed something. Whenever he's serious with me, he calls me Claire, but when he's joking, he calls me St. Cloud. So this is serious.
"Yeah?" I answer.
"Where are you going to college?"
"I'm planning on going to the University of Virginia," I say. "What about you?"
"Hoping for a New York school to give me a scholarship for football. And I'll go there. And stay there. Unless, of course, there's this girl who's worth staying down here for..."
Great. There's someone who could keep him in Hill-Billy Hell. Bet you it isn't me. That's for certain. "A girl shouldn't influence you decisions. What if you two break up and things go badly?"
All of a sudden, Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade starts playing. Nice timing, iPod. Thanks a lot.
"Not so sure about that. She's just about perfect for me," He smiles. He's picturing her face. I can see it.
"Oh, well, don't jump the gun," I say. "Does she feel the same way about you?"
"I don't know," He whispers. He leans closer to me. "Why don't you ask her?"
Before I can say anything, our lips touch in such a gentle way, I fall for him all over again.
Everyday, I fall for him and I used to think it was just me, but today is different. He wants something with me. There's something here and it makes me want it even more than I did.
The song lyrics end as we continue; "Tonight will be the night I fall for you, over again. Don't make me change my mind or I won't live to see another day. I swear it's true because a girl like you is impossible to find. You're impossible to find."