Stay

Zack knew exactly where he was going. It seemed that Grace had texted him the exact location she wanted us to go, but nothing else. There wasn't any words to describe how irritated I was that she was gone. She was hung up somewhere with her friends, probably grabbing a latte, so she won't have to cry over choosing a casket for our mother.

"You're upset," Zack stated softly as his car continued to cruise onto the freeway.

"Of course I'm upset. Grace asked me to come down here to help her plan the funeral. I didn't think that meant I'd have to be doing it all without her," I snapped.

He sighed, "Grace isn't as mature as you, Eden, you know that. She's used to having things done for her," He explained.

I shook my head, "And the death of our mother couldn't have made her realize that?" I asked and he sighed.

"But-"

"Stop defending her!" I screamed so suddenly it almost made Zack slam on the brakes. He swerved a little, catching his breath as hot tears began to form in his eyes, "God, it's just like being back home with my parents," I continued, "Grace can do no harm. Grace just doesn't understand, she needs time, she's not mature. For fuck's sake I thought if anyone could understand it would be you guys! I thought you all would see right through her! But for some reason Grace has a charm of her innocence that makes people want to defend her and protect her!"

Zack's eyes were wide as he looked over at me, still trying to keep up with the flow of traffic without pulling into another car, "Eden..." He stated softly, "I'm so sorry."

I cried. I leaned my head against the window and let the tears fall freely as I thought about everything. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all, "The only person who understood was him," I whispered.

"I know," Zack replied and placed a soft hand on my hand, "He told us, you know. When we first met her at the bar. He wasn't there that night because he hardly went out after you left. Even after a year he wouldn't go out with us.

"We told him the next day that it was Grace and that he should stop by to say hi. He warned us not to talk to her. He told us she was different from you... and he didn't like her," He explained.

"Yeah, well that seemed to wear off quickly," I scoffed.

He shook his head, "He doesn't talk to her. He... silently helps her. You know the only reason he helps her with school and bills is because of you."

"What?" I asked.

He shrugged, "He thinks it'll somehow redeem himself. Like you'll notice he's not a complete asshole."

"Grace didn't tell me much about Matt. But I always knew it was him helping her," I shrugged.

We were silent for a long time, both of us taking in the scenery as I calmed down from my little outburst. It wasn't until we were about to pull off the freeway when Zack decided to speak again.

"About last night..." He started.

"I thank you for what you did, Zack, but I really don't want to talk about it," I replied.

He smiled, "Of course you don't. That's not going to stop me, though. Why didn't you talk to him?"

"You didn't even want me to speak to him in the first place, so why are you asking?" I questioned and he sighed.

"I knew drunk you wasn't the best way to talk to him. But you two do need to speak, Eden. You both have explaining to do."

Before I could ask what I needed to explain, he pulled into a near-empty parking lot. I froze, looking up at the sign to see a family mortuary, a field of green hidden behind a small building and even smaller church, "This is where she requested in her will," He stated softly.

I breathed in deeply, taking everything in as I sat in the front seat of Zack's car, "Grace should be here," I whispered.

"She's selfish," He stated and I looked over to him, "I try to defend her, only because a part of me feels like I have to. But she's selfish," He finally admitted and I looked over to him, "I'm trying to be here for you, Eden. I know I'm not Grace, and I'm not Matt... but I was a dick to you. Can I at least try to make it up to you?"

I smiled softly, giving him a slow nod, "Thanks, Zacky," I whispered and he nodded back before opening his door.

I quickly followed suit, trying to brush the tears away as we made up way up the steps into the small offices. Inside there was a small fan near a window, keeping the front lobby cool. I could see the complimentary coffee and tea to the left, just next to the in house flower shop. I sighed deeply and he turned to me, "You wanna get some coffee while I talk to them?" He asked.

"She's my mother, Zack. I'll do it. Can you please get me some tea though? Two sugars," I instructed and he nodded, quickly understanding before walking off to the little cart with the thermoses.

I approached the front desk where a woman was smiling at me. I couldn't understand how a woman working around so much death could have such a dazzling smile, "Hello, how can I help you today?" She asked.

"Um... I'm not sure really. My mother just died and-"

"Oh dear, here come take a seat," She instructed to a chair next to her. I nodded and took an empty chair, sitting down across from her little desk as she pulled out a file, "We have complete packages to choose from. It makes the planning much easier. Was your mother a part of the church?"

"Oh, yes," I nodded as she handed me a flyer, "She was a Christian," I stated and she nodded just as Zack sat back down. Two styrofoam cups were in his hands, one he handed over to me. I instantly thought of the time I first saw Zack, standing in the park with a coffee cup in his hands. We'd come a long way to get here.

"We have several crosses to choose from to place in the church. There's also a list of appropriate bible passages," She smiled softly and pushed over a piece of paper towards me, another to add to the few she had handed me before.

I suddenly felt overwhelmed. I hardly knew my mother. What passages were her favorite? What was her favorite color? Did she want to be buried in white? Or did she want to be cremated? I hadn't the slightest clue of what was happening.

"Maybe," Zack cut in and placed a hand over my own. It was then that I realized the paper I was holding was shaking, solely because my own hand was beginning to shake from the nerves building up, "It's best we pick out a pre-planned package. Something simple," He stated.

The woman nodded understandingly before handing me another flyer, "We have A, B, and C. C starts at the lowest cost, and A is the most expensive. I must say B is our most popular," She stated.

"What the difference between each one?" I asked.

"C is basic. One set of flowers, a head stone, a simple casket, a twenty-minute service, and the burial," She explained.

I was about to ask what the B option was before Zack cut in, handing all the papers to her, "We'll take A," He stated.

"Zack," I snapped.

"Relax, Eden. All of us are paying for this. You forget she was a part of our lives too," He mumbled in my direction.

The woman smiled and took back everything Zack handed her before she pulled out another set of papers, "It's all very simple. We have colors to choose from, a casket, and after we'll head out to select a burial site," She stated and I nodded.

She handed me a swatch of colors. All were light, meant to bring some sort of life to the death that hung on these barren walls. I sighed and flipped through them, not knowing the slightest clue, "I think she'd like yellow. She always liked the sun," I smiled and pushed the colors back to her.

"We can make sure the flowers and the banners are this pale yellow," She assured, "Are you ready to select a casket now?"

I nodded as she handed me a few pictures to choose from. There were five in total, all of them cut from beautiful pieces of wood and lacquered to shine six feet under ground, "I think this one is nice," He pointed to a white one with gold metal accents.

"Yeah, I don't think she'd like black," I stated and he nodded in agreement.

By that time it was nearing four and we needed to head out to pick a space in the cemetery for her to be buried. We followed our planner out to the back of the building, through a small garden, before we began to roam the rows of headstones and graves.

"Am I making the right decisions?" I asked.

Zack turned to me, "Any decision is better than Grace's," He reminded me and I smiled.

"Any area's you'd like to look at?" She asked.

My eyes scanned the scenery before landing at a large willow tree, drooping over a small secluded area that looked as peaceful as a meadow. I nodded to the area, "What about over there?"

"It's an extra fee, because of the scenery around it. When you get over there you can hear the running water from the creek. It's very serene," She stated.

"We'd like to see it," Zack stated and I smiled at him.

She was right about it being serene. It was the only place in the entire cemetery that didn't feel like death. I could see the other headstones and I couldn't see the walls of the ivory mausoleum. I felt like I was secluded in a park, not anywhere near the death of the remaining hills, "I think she'd like it here," I whispered.

"I think so too," Zack smiled.

"Shall I get the paperwork, then?" The woman asked us. Zack smiled, turning to her to give her a nod before she wandered back to the small building we had come from. I sighed, breathing in the air around me. I was glad it was fresh air. Had I smelt death, I probably would have passed out.

I turned, looking at the surroundings of the rolling hills before my eyes stopped on something. My eyes narrowed at the sight of a person, leaning against a black SUV with his hands shoved in his front pockets, "Is that..." I trailed off.

Zack sighed, "He's been around, actually," He admitted, "He technically saw you at the airport when you arrived," He confessed and I quickly turned to him.

"What?" I questioned, ignoring Matt's figure off in the distance.

"You thought he could ignore you?" Zack laughed as he shook his head, "He's been watching you. Mostly to make sure all of us are taking care of you, really. He knows you won't let him do it."

"I don't know if he deserves to," I stated and he sighed.

"You both have some learning to do, Eden. There's no denying that."

I breathed in deeply, my mind thinking about him. I did need to speak to him. Maybe the reason I couldn't move on was because of closure, "I should talk to him," I whispered before turning around.

My heart dropped at the sight of the empty hill. He had left, speeding off before I could catch him spying again. I couldn't explain the ache in my chest. Maybe it was because a part of me wanted him there.

"He's mastered his disappearing act a long time ago. Get used to it," Zack stated softly before walking past me, heading back towards the office building.

It was then that I realized being around Matt only made my heart break more.