Pas Mal

Stuart.

I'm not gay.
I'm not gay.
I'm not gay.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

I'm not gay.
I'm not gay,
I'm not gay.

Oh who am I kidding? He's gorgeous! His face was round and rather pudgy, like a baby's face. His lips pouted naturally, and when stretched into a smile they made the rest of the world smile with him. His hair was messy, a blend of natural blond and chocolate streaks. It was short and brushed down over his forehead, though frustrated and stressed hands had since tugged it away. He had a round stomach, contradicting the strength in his arms. He looked so kissable and huggable and I wanted him to be mine forever.

I watched him chat and mix with everyone else, admiring him in every way. He was great with people, able to mix easily. He ignored all the flirting and fighting that was thrown casually back and forth as though it didn’t matter. He didn’t seem too phased at Regan’s annoying self centeredness and Christian’s obvious queerness. He even didn’t seem to notice the battle between Gustav and his ex boyfriend Ben. More importantly, he didn’t notice that his mere presence was making me uncomfortable.

Josh finally decided to turn up, a beautiful ginger lady in tow. Regan considered herself attractive and sexy, but she had nothing on this girl. Her hair shone in the fading sunlight and her eyes were wide and alive. Freckles dotted her pale cheeks and her smile was truly breathtaking. Josh always got the attention of sexy ladies for some reason. Her name was Mallory, it seemed too dainty to fit her. From out of nowhere Sean appeared, panting and breathing heavily. Christian wasn’t with him.
“His dad asked me to leave, said he’d send him out later.” He panted. He sat next to Mallory and tried to smile at her. For the first time I noticed how afraid she looked.

“Wait, so his dad literally asked you to leave?” Kier checked in disbelief.

“They were arguing but in French so I had no idea what about and then Chris said something and his dad got really mad and asked me to leave. Chris looked really scared.” He explained in between huge gulps of air.

Everyone was clearly worried, but no one wanted to say anything. Christian was really weird, he was probably okay. His dad wouldn’t hurt him, would he? Gavin turned to Mallory and grinned wickedly. Dan was by his side, the same wicked grin on his face.

“How much on you losing your virginity?” He asked teasingly. A giggle spread around the group, and Mallory’s cheeks turned beat red.

“Wait, you’re a virgin?” Regan checked, a look of absolute disgust on her face. Mallory turned her attention to her, and the softness of her fear was gone. She was angry, she was scary. Her hidden strength was so obvious in her cold green eyes. All the ways she could kill Regan were running through her head. Sean placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her, offering her a reassuring smile.

“Yes, missy. I don’t really want to catch AIDs or something.” She replied smartly. She didn’t know, but she’d hit a soft spot with Regan – as she’d already had Chlamydia twice. The slut scowled in return, obviously not clever enough to think of some smartass reply. I liked her, she was cute and clever.

Then Mike snatched my attention again. Fuck him and his cute little face! If he didn’t have a cock, I’d be all over him. I wasn’t attracted to guys, I just though he looked girly. That’s all. “Is that Chris?” He asked, nodding towards a ginger person sprinting towards us.

Sure enough, it was Chris. His eyes were red and puffy and another bruise was forming on his sharp cheekbone. His hair was a mess, as though he’d tried to pull it out. He was breathing heavily, from running and crying. His sobs made his whole body shake, and he collapsed into Sean’s side. Everyone fell silent as they watched him cling to Sean, hiding his face in his neck for comfort. No one had ever seen him in such a state.

“Qu’ est-ce qui ne va pas?” Sean asked quietly, running his hands down Chris’ back to calm him. He held him tightly, like a mother holds her son.

“Je ne me sens pas bien.” Chris whispered in reply, holding onto Sean even tighter. His sobbing stooped eventually, as Sean rocked him back and forth gently. Everyone’s eyes remained fixated on them, everyone in shock.

“Nous devrions retourner à la maison.” Sean whispered to Chris after a while, once his crying had stopped. Chris looked at him in fear and terror, shaking his head wildly. “Où que vous voulez aller?” Chris fell silent. He stared blankly into thin air, his eyes red and puffy. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the queer little wreck, clinging to a man he’d known less than a few hours for comfort. Sean’s hands still stroked his back as he waited for an answer. He looked at Chris in a genuine, loving way. As though he’d known him his whole life and they adored each other.

“Que vous voulez rester chez moi?” Kier asked with a smile, reaching over to place a hand on Chris’ shoulder. He smiled and nodded gratefully. “You guys can come too for a while if you like?” He suggested. A few mumbles of agreement spread around the group and everyone stood up. My knee brushed against Mike’s accidentally. I blushed and avoided his gaze. Do I have to share a room with this sexy asshole? Fuck.

We followed Kier into his flat. He lived alone, as his parents were always away on business trips and didn’t give two shits about their son. Sean and Chris snuggled close together on the couch, their arms wrapped around each other. It was an adorably cute sight. Kier hurried off somewhere to get them a blanket, deciding it would be best Chris got some sleep. We left the two curled up together and sat in Kier’s bedroom. I hoped Christian was okay, he’d always been stronger than most people could imagine. When things got shit for me I always looked at him, because it could be so much worse. It’s always comforting to watch someone else suffer. No, that sounded horrific. I do apologise.

“They can stay here for the night, they’ll be okay.” Kier stated, closing the door.

“Where are you staying, Gustav?” Ben asked, the cruel smirk clear in his voice. The taller man turned and glared at him, his cheeks on fire. He was furious, but he couldn’t argue with Ben. Not with the one he loved. I could see the tears begin to well up in his eyes as his anger and love fought bitterly. Without another word, he stood and left the room. Everyone turned to look at Ben.

“That was a bit too far, don’t you think?” Josh asked, raising an eyebrow at Ben. Considering he cared nothing about relationships, he knew the most.

Ben simply shrugged. “Asshole had it coming.” He replied shortly.

“He did fuck all to you.” Gerard argued.

“What exactly is going on?” Aled asked. He was staying with Gus, maybe he liked him a bit? Come on, Gus was gorgeous. His eyes were unbelievably blue, like the ocean. His cheekbones were rather sharp and angled, and he was very thin. His dark hair covered his forehead and was always silky soft. He was always so positive, he never let his negatives get to anyone else. He had a fucked up childhood and had learnt to perfect the fake smile.

Ben didn’t answer. He stared awkwardly at his hands and blushed. “I think you should apologise to him.” Debbie commanded. She could be assertive when she wanted, even though she was quiet. She only really got bitchy with Regan, because Regan was a complete slut. Ben nodded in agreement and left too.

The room fell awkwardly silent. “We should play spin the bottle!” Regan announced.

“Shut up, slut, it’s not even been 24 hours!”