A Drop in the Ocean

“I fell weak at my knees, Renesmee. I gazed up into your eyes and I felt my world change. The strings that had previously held me to this Earth disappeared. I breathed for you, I bled for you, and I lived for you. I realized why I had been so dead set to protect Bella for all those years and it was because you are a piece of her…she was a piece of you. Everything made sense after that. Because it never, ever, had made sense before then; nothing in my life had honestly. I thought I was in love with Bella for so long; I did everything to fall out of love with her. I scoured Seattle one day, desperate to bump into a girl and imprint on her.” Jake laughed at this, but I pulled back from him some and chewed on my lower lip.

“I never knew you loved my Mom like that… I just always thought you two were best friends.” “That’s all it ever was,” Jake immediately said when I pulled back. “Although I desperately wanted it to be more one time or another…it was always just friendship, and looking back on it, I’m glad it was. I never imprinted on Bella so I never could have loved her with the intensity that I love you.”

I felt the butterflies in my stomach more intense than I’d ever felt them before. I’d heard my family tell me they love me a dozen times. I’d told Jake when I was a little girl that I loved him and he would say it back…but it never meant anything like it did now. It never meant what it did now. It wasn’t the same as now.

“This is just so much to take in,” I whispered and took a seat upon the porch on one of the ornate swings. Jake sat down next to me, wrapping an arm around me as we cuddled up together. “You’ve always been there, Jake. You were like a babysitter for me when I was a little baby. A big brother to me when I was a young girl, somebody I could look up to and call a hero. How does this work…? How can I look at someone like a big brother my whole life and then suddenly… want more? I never thought you could ever want me like that…” my voice disappeared again as I laid my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and listening to his heartbeat which was steadier than mine, more powerful. I was half-vampire after all and vampires didn’t have heartbeats.

“It’s not something you think about Nessie, it’s something you just… have to let happen if you want it to. It’s one of those things that you’ve got to go with the flow on or you might miss out on it… I just want you to know, that I’d never pressure you to be more than what you are with me. I only want you, if you want me, too…” his voice was soft and soothing.

“I admit that I think I’ve wanted you for a lot longer than I knew. I think I’ve crushed on you secretly since I was a wee girl,” I whispered to him, “but…I can’t imprint, Jake, since I’m not a wolf. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that I’m head over heels when I’m not… it might take a little wooing,” I teased some and he cackled, tightening the hold he had of his arm being around my shoulders.

“Wooing, hmm. I can definitely do that… if you want me to. I’ll take you out on proper dates, Renesmee. That is…if Edward and Bella aren’t going to have my head. I’m not an idiot; I know Edward can hear what we’re thinking right now…and everyone else in that house with their super freaky vampire hearing.”

I wasn’t sure with Jake’s wolf-hearing that he could hear some of the chuckles that came from within the house the moment he said that but I knew with my at least half-vampire ears, I could hear it. “You’re right,” I said quietly and slowly stood up from the porch swing, smoothing out my pants. “We should call it a night then since anything else we say might be damning your reputation with my parents. Maybe we could go out tomorrow… on an actual date.”

I suggested and noticed that crooked, goofy cute grin upon Jake’s face. I felt my heart do that pitter-patter thing once more. That grin was too perfect and now that I really stopped to think about it: he was too perfect. Tonight had been more than perfect. “Go, before Alice comes out here and starts talking wedding plans…” I teased and he stood up. I couldn’t help but to look up into his eyes which I found even dreamier this time when I gazed up into them than the last time I had. “Will you dream of me?” I offered.

“What if I told you I already do, every night?” I blushed immediately when he said that and lightly shoved him towards the steps with a sly smile on my face. “Go, before I run away with you into the woods and never return, wolf boy.” I teased again and Jake walked back towards me, kissing my forehead. “As tempting as that is… Goodnight Ness,” he said before jumping off the porch very much like the wolf in him.

“Night Jake,” I gave him a simple wave as he got onto his motorcycle and took off into the darkness that surrounded the house. I sighed softly and thought about just sitting outside for the longest time, to bask in tonight but I figured I’d best get this confrontation behind me. I opened the door to eight sets of curious golden eyes on the staircase. I glared up at them, then put my hand upon my face and shook my head.

“Stalkers, that’s what y’all are! You’re all a bunch of nosy, eavesdropping, non-privacy giving stalkers!” I faked melodrama and walked to the stairs. I wondered who was going to start in on me first.

“At least you finally know my pain, when I was courting your Mother while she was still human,” my Father, Edward, said while the rest of my family gave soft laughs. “We tried to give you privacy,” said Carlisle, I could imagine Grandpa Carlisle giving privacy. “But you two were just too cute to listen to…” said my Grandmother, Esme; who I could totally believe has always been an eavesdropper kind of person.

Aunt Alice and Aunt Rosalie had to have learned it from somebody, especially Aunt Alice. “I totally saw this was going to happen one day,” chimed the Pixie I called my Aunt and I glanced in her direction, quirking a brown eye-brow. She wore such a huge grin, so I take it that she was happy about Jake and I being together—well, it’s not like it had happened yet. We weren’t together…and maybe we never would be, but the offer was at least on the table.

“It’s true. Almost five years ago now, I saw that you and Jake would finally be together.” Alice stated. “And who else knew about this future vision of yours?” I asked my Aunt and my Father started to clear his throat. “I read her mind while she was having said vision, which means I’ve seen it, too, and knew about it all this time.” Upon stating that, I watched as my Mother gave him a gentle elbow to the ribs.

“Did neither you nor Alice find it pertinent for me to know about this? It’s my daughter after all, and my best friend. I might be a little warmer to the idea had I known about it for the last five years,” my Mother pointed out and Dad just shrugged. “I’m still not very warm to the idea and I’ve had almost five years to stew on it.”

“What’s there to not like about the idea? Jake has always been there for me,” I pointed out. “If there’s anybody you should trust with me, it’s him. If there’s anyone you guys should ever want to ‘cheer me on to be with’, I would imagine it would be him. He’s always been here, he’s someone each of you knows so very well…” my voice trailed off, I was rambling which clearly gave away the fact that I had liked Jacob much more than I had ever realized before.

“And that’s partially why it’s such an adjustment, one I don’t know if we’re willing to make. Jake has been there for you since you were just a baby...” I interrupted my Mother’s thoughts. “And it’ll be weird to think of me with him that way? I realize that; but I can’t deny the feelings that I do have…now that I realize I have them. And look at poor Jake, he’s imprinted on me. The least I can do is now that I’m old enough, to at least give dating him a shot. He’s waited this long and I’m sure he would have waited the rest of his life. Whether we fall in love truly with one another or not…he’ll always be my friend cause, how’d you put it five years ago?” I asked, trying to figure out what wording my Mom had used in her journal.

“I believe you’re looking for ‘wolfy claim on her,’ if I do remember correctly,” my Dad spoke up and Mom cut her eyes over at him. “Exactly; I haven’t liked the thought of Jake having a wolfy claim on my daughter for five years now…now what am I supposed to do, stand aside while my half vampire half human daughter marries a wolf that used to swear he was in love with me? Not to mention what will the Volturi think when they find out a vampire is with a wolf romantically…”

Dad looked over to me with a bit of a grin, “she’ll warm up to it in a while. Come, my love. I need to warm you up to the idea for the sake of our daughter,” it was hard for me to believe that my Dad was actually more on my side about this than my Mom of all people. I thought she’d give praise since Jake was such a wonderful person…it seemed number one on my ally list would be Aunt Alice since she had seen how bright the future with Jake was going to be.

The room began to clear and since I was so bubbly over what all had happened with Jake, I knew I couldn’t just go up to my little room and go right to sleep. So I followed behind Alice and Jasper as they started to retreat to their little area of this lovely abode we all shared. “Aunt Alice,” I said in a soft voice and she turned her head towards me, raising a brow.

“What is it Nessie?” She questioned and I chewed on my lip some. “Could I see that vision you had, five years ago?” I asked as I held my hand out to grasp her arm, knowing that if I were connected to her mind, I’d be able to see what she had. “Of course,” she nodded and took my hand firmly with hers.

As Alice thought back to the vision from almost five years ago, I realized that she remembered it in near perfect detail. Not a bit of this memory seemed fuzzy or blurry; it was all very bright and vivid.

I could make out that it was Jacob and I, we were alone it seemed on a beach…it looked like the Quileute reservation; La Push I think it’s called. We were sitting right beside one another and I laid my head on Jake’s shoulder. I could feel the emotions of it, which almost brought a tear to my eye. The vision shifted and we weren’t alone on the reservation beach anymore…my Mom and Dad were there, too.

They both seemed very happy as Jake and I walked to them, hand in hand. So we were a real couple and people liked it…and there was nothing bad going to come from it? At least that’s what Alice’s vision showed. If the future was truly going to be that bright… it was going to be worth living, that’s for certain.

“Thank you, Aunt Alice,” I said softly as I dropped the hold I had on her hand. “Now don’t you go changing your mind about Jake or anything like that? That vision has kept me happy for five years now, waiting for that to happen.”

“I don’t know why it would make you so happy… I read Mom’s journals earlier today and it seemed like everyone in this house hated Jacob. Hated that he had imprinted on me and wouldn’t go five seconds without being near me; but yet he did so much to protect me when I was first born. He left his pack because of me…he fought his pack because of me.” My voice trailed off, I felt as if I was going to cry. Jake had done so much to be with me over the last five years and I hadn’t even realized he wanted me in that special way until tonight.

“We’ve all grown to love Jacob,” said my Aunt Rosalie as she came up behind me. I turned my head and smiled a bit warmly. “Really, you have? You aren’t just saying that Aunt Rose? Because Jake says you two head-butted a lot all those years ago…” Rose gave a soft laugh and rolled her elegant shoulders just once. “We still head-butt, that mutt and I. We probably always will but that doesn’t mean I haven’t grown a soft spot for him; I know we all have. Your Mom might have a bit of a hard time accepting you two together, and Edward, too; but the rest of us I think could come to look at Jake as an official son-in-law…”

“Or Grandson-in-law,” chimed Esme as she appeared behind Rosalie. “Is this just a family moment or what?” I questioned; again they had kind of eavesdropped on a conversation that had been meant for Aunt Alice and me…and maybe Uncle Jasper. “You’re all going to kill me with this no privacy stuff. Dating is going to be such a hassle.” I mumbled underneath my breath.

“Yep; we plan to make your life a living hell from now on. After all, sweet sixteen…” said my Uncle Emmett who scooped my Aunt Rose up off of her feet and held her bridal style.

“I think I’ll just move to the reservation. I’m sure the wolves will give Jake and me more privacy than you guys,” I said in a fake huff, of course I had absolutely no desire to truly move away from this wonderful abode we all shared in the forest. Unless it was to move into the little cottage deeper in the woods that was a present for my parents. That was quite a cozy home…

“Not sure about that; they’re a rowdy bunch,” Jasper commented and I rolled my shoulders slightly. “All of ‘em but Jake. He’s not rowdy, at least not with me,” I admitted as I chewed on my lower lip. I was thinking of Jake as I began to walk away from my family, towards my own little bedroom in the large house.

I was still half-human and occasionally, I did enjoy sleeping. Tonight would be one of those nights. Part of me was looking forward to dreaming about tomorrow—my date, although the other part of me was afraid of dreaming too loudly. My Father might accidentally read my mind… After a shower and a change into pajamas, I laid down in my own bed with the light shut off and listened to the sounds around me.

I could hear soft voices in the house, they were almost lulling me to sleep. I could hear wildlife outside my window, it was very soothing. It was almost like I was camping tonight, beneath the stars. I envisioned them above my head and the next thing I knew, I was fast asleep.