The Only Thing I Ask

Being near her but not being able to touch her was more painful and agonizing than being far away from her. At least on the road, he didn’t have this awful feeling. It was always fluttery and anxoius to see her. But now, a disappointment and rage has built inside him. He didn’t want her to adore him, but at the same time he craved for her love. How messed up was that?

Brian closed his eyes, trying to sleep. Images of Michelle kept replaying in his mind. One by one, he pictured her smiling, laughing, fighting, giving him sceptical look, mocking with her tongue sticking out, her eyes rolling and a picture of them kissing. Slowly those images burned by the image of a ghost girlfriend. Someone Brian didn’t want to think of again.

Maya.

A girl so perfect in his past. She was everything, and he didn’t have that much experience with girls. He gave his whole heart out to her. She played with it, kept him on hook, until she broke it into pieces.

~*.*~
“Maya? Where have you been? I’ve been searching all over for you!”
Maya turned around. Her waist was circled by a pair of another tattoed hand, not Brian’s.
“Hey man! Great guitar solo up there last night!” Lars Ulrich, the legendary drummer from his favorite band Metallica greeted. He greeted him back out of respect but his eyes still searched for Maya’s, looking for answer.
“Lars, can you leave first? I need to settle something here.”
“Sure thing, baby.” Lars nodded, gave her a peck on her lips and walked away. Brian’s eyes widened, his eyebrows raised.
“What do you want, Syn?”
“You. You is what I want. Where were you? Come back please. We can start over.”
“No way. I don’t want to be with an addict.”
“I’m clean! I swear to you! It’s been a year!”
Maya chuckled. “Really? Do you think an addict like you can be ‘clean’ just like that? You will get back to it again, trust me.”
Brian didn’t know what to say. He wouldn’t promise to himself that he won’t use again, but he was trying hard not to.
“And for your info, Syn. I only want you then because you’re so damn popular. But right now, you are nothing. Just a junk I used to have.”

Just a junk I used to have.

Just a junk I used to have.

~*.*~

Brian opened his eyes abruptly. That last sentence kept replaying in his mind like a broken record. He needed something to rage his heart out to. He stood up suddenly, grabbed for his carkeys and left home.

******************************************************************************************************

He looked up to the blond girl. She had a huge pair of tits, and a full red lips that would definitely make any man want to grab her and sex her right there. She was the best girl this strip club has. Brian was an exclusive customer, a celebrity, so he got to enjoy this kind of treatment.
But Brian’s eyes were dead. There was no lust in it. He looked at the girl only for the sake of looking. He was bored. He didn’t get his boner, and his heart wasn’t pumping fast like it always did when he saw Michelle. Only by seeing her face, her smile, and her lip biting can make him turn on as hell.

This girl was trying her best to give Brian a perfect lap dance. She was grinding her ass on his crotch but he only stared at her, like a dead man.

“Oh come on man! What are you now, erectile dysfunctional?”

Brian suddenly stood up, throw a couple of hundred bucks and went out of the room.

He drove his black BMW crazily, and without knowing he arrived to his destination. Michelle’s house. It’s been two weeks since they got back from their Asia tour, and two weeks without talking to her. The band haven’t had any session in the studio anymore so he rarely see her hanging out with them. Only Valerie joined in. Even when Michelle was around he avoided her and she ended up talking and laughing with Jimmy.

He loved her. But he was scared of losing her, like losing Maya. He was scared that Michelle would turn her heart to someone else, some other star when she eventually got tired of him. So he didn’t want her to become his fan.

“Fuck what am I doing here?” He cursed himself in the car. When he was about to drive away, a car approached Michelle’s house. He slowly turned off his engine and waited.

Michelle came out of the car, wearing a beautiful yellow halter neck, knee length dress and another guy also came out from the driver’s door. Brian rolled down his window a little so that he can listen to what they said. He really looked like a creepy stalker now.

“You didn’t have to, Daniel.”
“I insist. It’s our first date, you’ve got to let me be a gentleman for once.”

Michelle sighed and smiled. How Brian missed that smile, and to kiss it.
“Okay. Thanks for tonight. I really enjoyed it.”
The guy took a step closer to her. “Me too.”

They stared at each other after that. The guy drew even closer, more like leaning over to reach for her kiss. Brian’s heart suddenly fired up in flames. He felt like his brain was about to explode. He was going to kick that guy in the nuts. He was about to open his own door and ran towards them when he saw Michelle turned away.

She turned that guy down.
Brian stopped halfway. He saw that the guy was disappointed, said goodbye and drove away. He was relieved as fuck.
“Brian?”
He flinched. Michelle saw him in the car.
He didn’t have any choice but to get out of it.

***************************************************************************************************

“Do you have something to say to me?” her voice was cold and defensive. But she looked really beautiful tonight. Brian held back his temptation to pull her into embrace and kiss her senselessly.

“I do.”

Michelle glanced at him. His hair was messier than ever, and he even had stubble growing on his face. But he looked sexy as hell.

“Say it now or forever hold your thoughts.” She crossed her arms.

His eyes weren’t cold tonight. They were weary, tired and looking for forgiveness.

“I don’t wanna lose you.”

Michelle listened carefully.

“I want to have you all to myself.”

She gulped. Her heart started pounding fast.

“I don’t want you to become my fan.”

She frowned.

“I want you to become my lover.”

She raised her eyebrow. Her lips parted, her defense mechanism started to fall apart.

“Become my everything.”

There were tears of happiness formed behind her green eyes, but she held it back.

“Then why are you pushing me away?” she asked, her voice sounded husky from holding back so much tears.

Brian didn’t answer. He regretted every minute of him shouting at her the other day.

“I’m sorry.” He said, weakly and looked down on his feet.

Michelle approached him slowly. Rested her palms on each of his cheeks and brought his eyes to her.

“Don’t push me away again, Brian. I can’t move on without you.”

He smiled finally, touching her wrist and pulled her closer to his lips. Their lips met in a melancholy mood. Tears from Michelle’s eyes went down her cheeks eventually. He pulled away to stare into her eyes. He won’t leave her again. He just couldn’t.

“You…wanna come in? Val’s not around.”

He grinned. That invitation alone, turned him on.

Michelle was fumbling with her keys while Brian standing behind her. She was too nervous to have Brian in her house, alone. Brian snaked in his hands on Michelle’s waist from behind and pushed her long hair back a bit, revealing her neck. He kissed her there, sending her to downright insane. He left a trail of kisses along her jaw, her cheek, and searching for her mouth with his hand cupped her chin and brought her face closer from behind.

She let out a moan that always turn him on even more. Michelle could feel a bulge poking through her butt. When she finally opened her door, she turned around and took him into a deep kiss. Their tongues entwined and licked and sucked each other. Brian pushed her into the house slowly with his tongue still on hers and shut the door behind him. He can multitask, for sure.

They were now in the dark, walking and kissing and their feets stumbling on furnitures. Michelle were giggling and ticklish when Brian bit her collarbone softly. She screamed a little when she accidentally knocked over a couch behind her and landed on it. Brian landed on her, with his mouth didn’t let go.

“It’s too dark. I can’t see you.”
Michelle scooted up a little, searching for a light switch above her. When she finally clicked it on, she saw Brian’s face clearly. He was right in front of her chest and staring at them, emotion unreadable.
“You like what you see?”
Brian’s eyes darted up to hers. “Oh I haven’t seen it yet.”
He took the hem of her dress and slowly pulled it upwards, until it revealed her full breast in a red lacy bra. Oh he’s right in heaven, he thought.

Michelle sat up straight and slowly turned around. For a second Brian thought that she wanted to do it through back door, but she then revealed a strand of zip behind her, when she took all of her long hair to the front. He slowly pulled the zip down, and took the dress off her.

He kissed her bare shoulder and slowly unhook her bra from behind. She turned around and Brian loved what he saw. He searched for her mouth first, a thank you note probably, then hungrily took her left breast in his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in days. His right hand kneaded playfully with her left one and Michelle just couldn’t stop squirming.

His playful hand then found his way to her flat belly, and to her skimpy panties. He rubbed her down there and felt wet on his fingers. He smiled against her breast.
“Oh Brian!” she moaned when he slipped his hand into her panties and started rubbing, up and down. Up and down. He licked off his two fingers first before slided them in.
“Oh dear God! Oh Brian…!”

He loved looking at her this way. She was driven insane by his slow penetrating fingers inside her, arching her back, her eyes shut and her mouth moaning nothing but his name.

He pushed his fingers in faster and harder and she climbed higher, her hands buried in his hair, her hips grinding on his fingers in sync with his own rhythm.

“Oh Brian yes!!” Michelle moaned hard when she finally released. Brian pulled out his fingers and tasted it. Michelle’s eyes widened. She never knew that Brian was this kinky.

“You taste like love.” And with that she took his face, kissed him hard and tasted herself through his mouth.

He knelt on the couch and Michelle sat up straight again facing him. She pulled his sleeveless Vengeance University t-shirt off and be amazed at his muscular bare chest with a medium-sized tattoo on the left. His chain necklace sexily hung from his shoulder and it made Michelle bit her lip. She left trail kisses from his neck down to his abs. Her slender fingers touched along his tattoo and finally undid his belt buckle. He closed his eyes, simply let her do her thing. When she undid his jeans button, he stood up and kicked it off until he was only in his boxers. He scooped her up from her knee and brought her upstairs, newlywed style.
She let out a scream laughter.

“Where’s your bedroom, baby?” he gave her small kisses along the way.
“Down the hall, turn right!” she pointed without looking and without pulling apart from his kisses.
He obeyed the direction. When he finally found the bed, he laid her on it carefully, started kissing on every inch of her body while slowly pulling down her panties. Boy he can really multitask.
“Oh shit. My condom’s downstairs!” He suddenly pulled away, remembering his pants in the living room.
Michelle chuckled. She took him by the neck and kissed him hard.
“Let’s just take a risk tonight.”
He grinned. The kind of grin that Synyster Gates always wear.