If it Hurts This Much, Then it Must Be Love.

---ONE WEEK LATER—

*Alex’s POV*

I shuffle in the airplane seat I share with Jack. “These seats are so uncomfortable.” I murmur. “Alex, will you stop fucking moving?!” Jack exclaims while grabbing my shoulders and shaking them.
“Sorry, babe.” I say mockingly and pout at him, he chuckles sending me a smirk. I sigh and take out my phone.

‘One New Message’ flashed in my screen. I unlock my phone and check who it’s from.

From: Lisa
Babe, have a safe flight. I miss you tons.
Love you.
Xx

“Lisa, huh?” Jack asks. “Yeah...” I respond.
“I don’t like her for you, but it’s your life.” He says and puts his headphones in and closes his eyes.

The band and crew don’t really like Lisa. They think she’s bad for me. I mean all we do is argue, break up and make up, so who can really blame the guys for thinking that. I asked her to marry me thinking the fighting and breaking up would end, and so far it’s going good I suppose. But I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that things aren’t quite right. I feel like a part of me is missing.

At times, all I do is thinking about Flor.

I really did love, Flor. I wanted her to be my wife not Lisa. But I fucked up, I didn’t even bother trying to get her to listen to me anymore, I am not worthy of her.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care when I read articles about her success and how many people are ‘gawking’ over her though.

I miss her.

I sigh and take out a notebook from my backpack and a pen from my back pocket. I flip through it till I find an empty page.
I start tapping the page with my pen and instantly get a good beat going.

Now all I need is lyrics.

I ponder and bam! The idea hits me like a ton of bricks.

‘When I was younger I was certain
That I'd be fine without a queen
Just a king inside his castle
With an ocean in between
Now all I do is sit
And count the miles from you to me
Oh, calamity..

We get older by the hour
Watch the changes from afar
Keep forgetting to remember
Where we've been is who we are
Now all I do is wonder
Why we ever set the scene
Oh, calamity..

It's such a shame that we play strangers
No act to change what we've become
Damn, it's such a shame that we've built a wreck out of me
Oh, calamity
Oh, calamity..’

“Ugh, what else…” I ponder out loud scratching my head with the pen.

“How about this.” Jack says taking his headphones out while taking my pen and starts scribbling on the notebook.

“You were reading it?” I ask. “Mhm.” he hums in response.

He smiles and hands me back the notebook.

‘I'll remember nights alone
And waking up to dial tones
Always found my greatest moments
In the sound of your hello's
Now I struggle to recall
The reasons you would come to leave
Oh, calamity’

I smile and look back to Jack who has a smirk placed on his face. “Jack, this is fantastic. When did you get so deep?” I chuckle while nudging him on the side. He laughs and says “That’s what she said.” While sending me a wink.

“Of course she did.” I chuckle and clutch the notebook close to my chest and rest my head on Jack’s shoulder and close my eyes.

Hopefully the Kerrang awards at London take my head away from all this.

*Flor’s POV*

“Has any one seen my curling iron!?” I yell while looking through all my luggage and everyone else’s in search of my things. “Haven’t seen it.” Phil says while coming in the room and stopping in front of the mirror and adjusting his silver bowtie.
“Looking spiffy, pinsan.” (pinsan means ‘cousin’ in Filipino) I say with my hands on my hips and smirking at him. “Of course, man. We gotta look good tonight.” He says while chuckling and turning back to me with a grin. “Now, hurry up. Your date is ready!”

“Well he better fucking wait!” I yell enough so my date could hear me from the other room.

So tonight is the ‘Kerrang Awards’ and as for date, Tony asked me to be his date. A little awkward I might say but hey, it’s Tony fucking Perry, who can turn him down?

I smile and find my curling iron and quickly run to the restroom to do my hair.

*2 hours later*

“We’re here!” Aaron says while taking the key out of the ignition. We all screech and practically jump out the car.
I tug on the ends of my dress and adjust my leather jacket. Tonight I decided to wear a red retro ruffled dress. My signature black leather jacket, my black heels, and did my hair in big bouncy curls. I feel like a character from the movie Grease. My makeup was simple and I even wore the cat gold necklace that he gave me when we first started dating.

I sigh and feel someone tap my shoulder.

I turn and see Tony and Phil smiling at me. I smile back and Phil gives me a reassuring hug. “Mahal kita. (I love you)” He whispers in my ear. “Mahal kita, pinsan. (I love you, cousin)” I say while smiling back to him. He nods and leaves me and Tony alone.

“Shall we?” he asks with his signature smile.

“We shall.” I respond and take his hand.

We walk hand in hand inside the hidden venue for the Awards.

We get stopped by a few reporters to ask questions about our bands and what not then later reunite with Of Mice and Pierce.

“So are you guys together?” a female reporter asks while gesturing the microphone towards Tony and I.
“Erm, well no we’re just friends. We’re the only two from our group without a date so we decided to come together.” I say with a chuckle while looking at Tony.

He grins and says. “Well not yet, at least.” And smirks at me. I blush and look down while the rest of the guys cheer.
They offered us wine and liquor as we walk around the venue so you can’t help but wonder how much the guys have drank already.

A few interviews and drinks later we found our seats. My seat was in between Austin and Tony and behind Phil, Aaron, Mike, Alan, and Tino. Vic and Jaime went to sit somewhere else.

We sat and chatted till the awards started.

“Hello, welcome to the 2017 Kerrang Awards.” Oli says into the microphone with his thick accent and we all cheer. Kellin speaks up and says, “So let’s start with the ‘Best International Newcomer’. The nominees are…” and behind them a screen announces the nominees.

“Sleeping With Sirens
Set It Off
Pierce The Veil
Of Mice and Men
Tonight Alive”

“The winner is … OF MICE AND MEN!” Both Oli and Kellin yell. We all start cheering and I get up and hug Austin and the others. They get up to the stage and Kellin gives them their award and each a hug.

“Thank you guys so much!” Austin says into the mic. “Without y’all we wouldn’t be here.” Alan speaks into the mic. “We love you guys!” they all yell into the mic and we start clapping as they walk behind stage.
Out comes Vic and Alex…. great the one person I was trying to avoid. Although, I have to admit he looks good.

His hair was a little shorter and he still had his side fringe and puffy teased hair.
His hair was now brownish with a hint of honey/gold. He was a wearing a nice white dressing shirt, a red bowtie and REALLY tight black slacks with his black vans. He was looking around and his gaze stopped at me and his smile faded. He looked nervous?
Vic cleared his throat and Alex smiled again and turned his direction towards the middle of the venue.

“Now, we’re going to head into a different direction.” Vic says into the mic. “Right, so here are the nominees to ‘Hottest Female’ award.” Alex says and Vic chuckles.

“Tay Jardine
Jenna McDougall
Ashley Costello
Flor Lyman
Hayley Williams”

“The winner is….Flor Lyman!” Vic yells and Alex claps but keeps his gaze everywhere but not on me.
I get up and receive many hugs while making my way to the stage. I hear a couple of whistles and notice they’re from Fronz and Attila. Oh my God, DÉJÀ VU. I flip them off earning a couple of laughs from the crowd. I step on the stage and walk towards the middle. Vic smiles at me and gives me a huge hug and let’s go. I walk towards Alex as he hands me the award and gives me a hug.

And I swear in that moment I felt all those memories rushing back. The moment we first met. The time we sang on stage for Jess. Our drunk sex. Our nicknames. Our first kiss. Everything came rushing to my head. All the memories I tried so hard to push to the back of my mind came back. I was on the verge of tears.

I hugged Alex back and I heard a sniffle. I shook my head and let go of him, avoiding his gaze.

I stepped in front of the mic and said, “I honestly don’t know why I was nominated for this.” I say holding up the award and heard people chuckle and whistle. “But I’m not complaining. Thank you, lovelies!” I say and blow a kiss towards the crowd and walk back with Vic and Alex to the back of the stage.

“Congrats, Floresita.” Vic says and walks away towards where PTV and Of mice where standing. I saw Phil smile at me and then frown when I feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn and see Alex rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Congrats, Flor...” Alex says in a quiet tone. “Thanks.” I respond.

He tugs on the sleeves of his shirt and quickly asks, “How are you?”

“I’m great.” I answer nonchalantly. He nods his head and keeps his gaze down. I sigh as I pat his shoulder and walk away.

At least he’s not bothering me. Even though I really wish he would try harder.

I miss him.